But there was no way around it. She’d have to get up very early and take the bus to the coffee shop before school.
“What’s wrong?” Paula poked her head outside the kitchen.
Linn noticed then that a delicious buttery scent filled the apartment. “I forgot my book bag at the shop. Oh well, I’ll get it in the morning.”
“I’d give you a ride, but I have an early appointment.”
“No problem. Are you making popcorn?”
Paula spoke above the popping sound. “I made a special butter sauce to go with it. You’ll have to let me know how it is.”
“If I have to,” Linn teased. Being on the tasting end of Paula’s culinary skills was a real treat.
“It’s almost done.”
The popping stopped.
Linn approached the kitchen, where Paula scraped a buttery mixture over the top of a bowl of popcorn, then mixed it together with two rubber spatulas.
“Smells great,” Linn said. “I’ll get us some drinks.”
The doorbell rang, and she met Paula’s gaze.
“Are you expecting someone?” Paula asked.
“No.” Ever since the rock came flying through the window, they’d been a little on edge.
Paula set the spatulas down. “Did you lock the door after you came in?”
Linn thought back. “No.” How could she have been so careless?
“It’s probably nothing,” Paula said. She walked toward the door.
But it was late, and nobody stopped by to visit at this hour. It would be beyond rude to knock on a stranger’s door so late on a weeknight.
Linn watched Paula peek through the peephole.
“It’s a man,” she whispered at the same time as she turned the main deadbolt. “I don’t know him.”
Linn’s mouth went dry. Bad guys didn’t knock on doors, though, did they? Especially if it was unlocked. The last thing she wanted to do was get closer to the door, but she had to. “Let me see.”
Paula stepped aside, and Linn peeked through the hole. Her breath came out in a rush. “It’s OK. I know him.”
She started to unlock the door, but Paula put a hand on her arm. “Are you sure it’s OK? How well do you know him?”
“It’s fine. It’s Adam. From work.”
“Ahh, Adam.”
Linn ignored the teasing smile that was beginning to curl Paula’s lips. She released the lock and opened the door. “Hi.”
She wanted to ask Adam what he was doing here but didn’t know how to say it without sounding rude. Besides, he looked so handsome standing in the hallway with his scarf still wrapped around his chin that, for a moment, she wanted to pretend he was her boyfriend, just stopping over for a while.
“You forgot your book bag.” He held up the bulky bag—no small feat since the thing weighed a ton with all her textbooks in it.
“Come in.” Linn opened the door wider, and he stepped inside.
Paula had disappeared, probably back into the kitchen.
“I don’t want to interrupt anything.” He set the bag on the floor.
“Thanks for bringing it over. I didn’t realize I’d left it until I got home.”
He stuffed his hands into his pockets and avoided her gaze. Something he had done ever since he’d given her the ride home two weeks earlier. In fact, he’d been so distant toward her, she wondered if he was mad at her.
“No problem. I know you have an early class tomorrow.”
“I was going to have to get up at the crack of dawn to go get it, so believe me, I appreciate it.” She wiped her hands on her jeans, then tucked them in her pocket. Then she felt stupid because she was mirroring him, so she folded her arms over her chest.
“Well, guess I should take off.”
She didn’t want him to go, but his hand was already on the doorknob, as if he couldn’t get out fast enough.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” Paula entered the room, carrying a decorative metal bowl.
For a moment Linn saw her as Adam probably did. Her stylish auburn hair and model-like figure made Linn feel like a dowdy schoolgirl.
“Sorry. Paula, this is a coworker, Adam. Adam this is Paula, my roommate.” She should have added something about Paula’s generosity in taking her in, but she already felt like fish bait.
“Nice to meet you.” Adam shook Paula’s hand.
“Maybe you can help me out. I’m perfecting this popcorn recipe, and I need input. Can you stay a bit?”
Linn’s eyes darted to Paula. What was she doing? But when Adam looked back toward the door, Paula winked at her.
“Well,” Adam said, “I don’t want to intrude.”
“Nonsense. Linn was just unwinding, and I’m headed off to my room to munch and work. Sit down. I’ll get you a bowl.”
Paula handed the bowl to Linn, and she set it down on the coffee table.
“Let me take your coat,” Linn said.
After he slid out of it, she put it on a hanger. The musky scent of his cologne wafted all around her. Cruel and unusual, that’s what it was.
She hoped Adam didn’t feel forced to stay. He hadn’t put up much of a fight when Paula had insisted, but he hadn’t exactly been friendly with Linn lately.
“I hope you don’t mind.” Linn shrugged. “Paula can be a little forceful.” And her good looks probably got her everything she wanted, at least where men were concerned. She wondered if that’s why Adam had agreed to stay.
Paula returned and set another bowl and two sodas down on the coffee table.
Adam grabbed a few popped kernels and put them in his mouth. “Mmm. Good. Unusual.”
Linn tried it too. It was salty and had some kinds of herbs mixed in with the butter. “This is awesome, Paula.”
“Not too salty?”
“Uh-uh.” Adam took another handful. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Linn watched him from beneath the veil of her lashes, waiting to see if he gave Paula extra attention. But his smile was only polite.
“Well, I have to get some work done. It was nice meeting you, Adam,” she said as she walked toward her room with her own bowl of popcorn.
“You too.”
After Paula’s door shut, Linn became aware that the only sound was the munching of popcorn.
It seemed almost surreal to be sitting here in the apartment with Adam. He’d only stopped by with her book bag, but she wanted it to be so much more.
“So how’s school going for you?” he asked.
The first few weeks had been stressful, and Linn felt like a fish out of water among all the others, but her grades so far were good. “OK.”
She knew she should say something else, but for the life of her, she couldn’t think of a thing. Her eyes focused on the TV, a late rerun of The Odd Couple.
“I used to watch these reruns when I was younger,” Adam said. “This show is a classic.”
Linn had only seen snippets of it. The sound on the TV was so low, she couldn’t hear what Felix was saying, but he was pitching a fit.
“So which are you more like—Oscar or Felix?” Adam asked.
Linn finished chewing a bite of popcorn. “Well, I like things picked up, but I’m not neurotic about it like Felix. What about you?”
She made the mistake of looking at him. The glow of the floor lamp cast a golden glow on his skin, and she thought he’d never looked more handsome. She looked away.
“I think I’m in between. Although my mom always said my room looked like a disaster, I did get around to cleaning it up eventually. And I always know where everything’s at, you know? It might be in a pile, but I know where it’s at.”
“Paula’s husband visited this past week, and he was just like Felix. It was hysterical to watch him go behind Paula and pick up after her. I don’t even think he realized he was doing it.”
Adam went quiet for a minute as Linn put the last few popped kernels in her mouth, sorry it was gone. What was she going to do to occupy her hands
now? She wiped her greasy fingers on one of the napkins Paula had set on the coffee table.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the rock through the window?”
Startled by his concerned tone, she almost caught his eye. But she stopped herself in time. Joe must’ve told him about it.
She shrugged. “Never came up, I guess.” That, and he’d been as distant as Australia since he drove her home. She wasn’t sure why, but it hurt that he didn’t tease her or talk to her anymore. Maybe not telling him had been a childish way of getting back at him.
“You should have told me.”
Her eyes swung to his face. She couldn’t help it. He looked as hurt as he sounded, but she didn’t know why. He was the one who’d put up walls between them. True, she hadn’t exactly been Miss Congeniality before, but after he drove her home that day, she thought things would be different between them. They were different all right. But not in a way she could have guessed.
“What do you want from me, Adam?” The words spilled out before she could stop them. Suddenly she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. If he said he wanted her to be his friend, she was dead meat. She wanted so much more than that.
As he considered her now, his eyes were like chocolate melting in the sun. Soft and warm.
His lips parted as if he had an answer, but no words came out. His jaw line was all covered in stubble, giving him a bad-boy look. The thought almost made her laugh. Adam was as far from a bad boy as you could get. Her fingers itched to run across his roughened jaw line. She tucked her hands between her knees before she acted on the impulse.
“I don’t know,” he said.
She’d almost forgotten the question. Wanted to forget about everything else in the world with Adam staring into her eyes the way he was.
“I don’t know.” Such an honest answer. Maybe that was what had taken him so long to answer. He took his time because he wanted to be honest, but he didn’t really know what he wanted from her. Was that good? What did she want him to say?
He was searching her eyes. The moment had gone tense as if they were rock climbers, hanging on the edge of a cliff and trying to decide whether it was safe to let go or not.
“I think I have feelings for you, Linn,” he whispered.
Something swelled in her.
Relief. Joy. Confusion.
There was so much she could say right now, and some of it involved his engaged status, but she pushed those things from her mind. It had been so long since a man had looked at her the way Adam was. She wanted to drown in his eyes.
“You’re killing me here.” His voice was barely audible. Worry lines stretched across his forehead.
Oh, Adam, I have feelings for you too. I think about you constantly. “I don’t know what to say.”
His eyes flickered downward, and she feared she’d blown it. She should have just said it all. What held her back?
He looked at her again, and a small sigh left her body. She drank him in.
“Your eyes say everything.”
Could he read all her thoughts? Did he know she’d wanted him for weeks? Did he know that the way he looked at her now made her shiver? He leaned toward her until they were a breath apart. How did they come to be sitting so close? She felt his breath on her face, then his lips touched hers, so tenderly it made her ache.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
At first Adam’s kiss was soft and searching. He moved as if he was afraid he’d hurt her, treating her as the most delicate, precious porcelain. Then he deepened the kiss, and her whole world spun. Her hands found his jaw line and relished the manly roughness of his skin. Her heart kicked as though it might punch right through her ribs, but she didn’t care. Didn’t care about anything but this man who treated her with such gentleness that she ached with it.
Then he was pulling back from her, and she didn’t want to open her eyes. His arms held her firmly away.
And she knew.
“Oh, God,” he said. It wasn’t the casual slang tossed about by people today. It was a petition.
She opened her eyes and wished she hadn’t. He’d turned away. She couldn’t see his face because it was covered by his hands. She didn’t need to see it to know he regretted the kiss.
“I’m sorry.” The words seemed squeezed from him, but she didn’t know if he was talking to her or God.
Instinctively she knew he was thinking of Elizabeth and how he’d betrayed her. He was taking every inch of blame when Linn was just as much at fault. She hurt for him. She hurt for herself and for want of him.
“I’ve got to go.” He stood and was putting his coat on by the time she was at the door. “I’m sorry,” he said again.
This time the words were for her, but she didn’t want to hear them. She didn’t want him to be sorry, even though he wouldn’t be the man he was if he could act so recklessly without regret.
She wanted to take responsibility, if only to soothe his conscience. She wanted to tell him she wouldn’t take back the kiss if she could. Instead she only nodded, knowing that when he left, he would take her heart with him.
* * *
Paula stabbed her fork into the house salad and listened as Miles asked his assistant, Cindy, about a phone call he received earlier. Darrick had been on a roll the past couple of weeks, breaking stories that viewers were responding to. It seemed like Miles was sitting up and taking notice, so when he invited Paula to lunch, she wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity.
Bin 36 was a restaurant that made Jackson Hole seem as if it were on the other side of the planet. With its elegant, eclectic atmosphere and gourmet cuisine, it drew her like a skier to a warm, cozy fire. She put the bite of salad into her mouth, appreciating the delicate flavors of toasted almond and Riesling vinaigrette.
Miles waved at someone across the open room. “Excuse me, ladies. I see a boating friend I need to catch up with.” He laid the napkin beside his plate and left the table.
Cindy tucked her chestnut hair behind her ear and took a bite of her smoked salmon.
“That looks really good,” Paula said.
Even though Miles’s assistant was just about her opposite in every way, Paula couldn’t help but like Cindy. The woman was just a shade younger than Paula and had been married recently. She had a formal photo of her and her husband taped to her work station.
“Mmm. Much better than the chicken nuggets and macaroni we had for dinner last night.”
Paula smiled. If she ate dinners like that, she’d have hips as wide as the El.
Cindy tugged the blouse she wore, trying to banish the little gap that seemed to plague her. “Have you gotten any more of those weird letters?”
Paula wondered where Cindy had heard about them, then remembered mentioning it to her several weeks ago. “No. I’m hoping Romeo has given up.”
“So you don’t really think it’s a kid?”
Paula realized that even though she’d told others it must be a child, she was thinking of the person as a man. She shrugged. “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”
“After the rock incident, I wouldn’t be too sure. That had to be kind of scary.”
“I hadn’t thought of the two as being related.”
“Maybe they’re not, but it’s possible.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not going to let someone scare me off or determine my decisions. What about your own Romeo? How is married life treating you?”
Cindy looked down at her plate. “Not so good actually.” She wiped her mouth with the linen napkin. “I guess I may as well tell you. I’m sure it won’t be long before it’s on the office grapevine anyway. We’re separated. Cal moved out into a place of his own.”
Hadn’t Cindy and Cal only been married four or five months? Paula couldn’t help but think. But who was she to talk? She and David had certainly been through their share of rough times. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t know.”
Cindy shrugged. “I haven’t exactly been telling
everyone. Miles knows, but—” She took a sip from her glass. “Let me give you a little tip that I’ve learned the hard way: don’t ever lie to a man. They’re not very forgiving.”
Paula’s mind tripped over Cindy’s words. It was a little late for that tip. “I hope you can work it out.”
Cindy nodded, then changed the topic. “Are you still working on that ‘Switched at Birth’ story?”
Paula took a sip of her Diet Pepsi and watched across the room as Miles imitated a golf swing while the other man laughed.
“I’m working on it off hours.” Paula was aware anything she said might get back to Miles. “There has to be an answer. It’s just a matter of finding it.”
Cindy rubbed at a water spot on the glass. “Just between you and me, I’m rooting for you for the anchor job.”
“Thanks. I’ll take all the rooters I can get.”
“I guess you’ve noticed that Miles is fawning all over Darrick right now.”
Paula kept her expression bland, though her spirits sank to floor level. She didn’t realize it was so obvious that Darrick was pulling ahead of her. And Cindy certainly had the inside track with Miles . . . though, if she were Cindy, she’d be a lot more careful what she said.
“Well,” Paula said, “it’s not over yet, and I intend to give him and the others a run for their money.”
“You’d make the better anchor. Hopefully Miles will see that.”
“Darrick’s very good, though,” Paula said. “He connects with the audience, and he’s easy on the eyes.”
“Only if you like the tall, dark, and handsome type. I still say you should get it.” Cindy held up her glass of Pepsi. “Power to the women.”
Paula smiled as they clinked glasses.
Paula saw Miles approaching and took a sip.
“Sorry about that, ladies,” he said as he reached the table. “I haven’t seen Greg in almost a year. Glad I ran into him. Gave us a chance to plan a weekend out on the lake.”
“Miles has a yacht to die for,” Cindy said. “It’s so big, you could practically live on it.”
Finding Faith Page 15
