by Jyoti Singh
This was several years in the past, yet Niki felt as if it was happening now. She was the outsider, trying to make sense of history, a relationship that had been meaningful enough for Sid to get rattled. It could influence the present and neither she nor Sid knew yet how much. The surges of jealousy told her that she was not completely objective. Her gut told her to be careful about the fact that, despite the years, Sid might not have worked through his feelings for Gauri entirely.
‘Are you telling me that it was only the geography and career that were challenges? I sensed something more…’ Niki finally looked up at Sid. He was looking straight ahead; his eyes were conflicted.
‘You’re right. There was more. Gauri met someone else and felt he was a better match for where she was going than me. I don’t really want to go into the details of what went wrong here, but the fact is that she broke up with me… via e-mail.’ Niki could see Sid was still sensitive about not just the emotional aspect of the break-up but also how it had happened. She knew instinctively that he had not told her everything. This would have to do for now.
‘Gosh! That is so awful and tawdry.’ Niki went with the emotional response.
‘From the outside, you can say that but the fact is that this is who Gauri had become. I honestly, do not know who she is now because I didn’t keep in touch, for obvious reasons.’ Sid’s smile was self-deprecating.
‘I have something to admit.’ Niki felt the need to be transparent.
Sid was listening. He stopped mid-step and looked at her. His stance was expectant. Perhaps he thought Niki would share a similar experience.
‘After you wouldn’t tell me about Gauri last night, I spoke to Tanya.’ She was sheepish.
‘No, Niki! Why? I said I would explain… Tanya barely knows the half of it.’ He sounded exasperated.
‘I’m sorry. You were sort of distraught yesterday and I was confused. You wouldn’t give me any answers…’ Niki’s words trailed to a stop.
‘Fair enough, but I want you to know that the next time you have any questions like these, ask me. I will give you the answers you need.’ Sid was firm but Niki’s thoughts got hooked on ‘the next time’—so there would be a next time? How many secrets did this man have?
‘Okay, now that’s sorted, could we talk about why I brought you here?’ Niki was surprised there was an agenda to the walk in the forest.
‘You brought me here for a reason?’ She had to ask.
‘Most definitely. I had a backup plan for the many ways this conversation could have gone. You forget my forte is coding; one always has to consider all possible outcomes.’ His good humour had returned. His weariness at the start of the evening seemed to have evaporated.
‘Are you going to tell me about all the options?’ Niki’s interest was piqued.
‘No, that would be unfair. Just this one…’ he replied.
‘Spit it out!’ Niki needed to know.
‘Well, I have this friend from Engineering College…’ he began.
Niki quailed. She was not ready for another love affair gone awry.
‘No, no. It is not what you are thinking…’ he immediately responded to the unasked question.
‘Okay…’ Niki was non-committal.
‘Jude, my friend from Engineering College, earned his first million at twenty. He then decided to drop out of the corporate sector and spent seven years wandering around the world… doing what is called voluntourism, I think. Along the way, he discovered he had a passion for trekking. He came back to India and started exploring different regions of the country, finding unusual and undiscovered paths to trek. He set up his own company and now uses it to raise money for various charities he supports.’ Sid’s voice carried part admiration and part envy.
‘That’s interesting.’ This she could handle.
‘He is planning a trek to Kasol in Himachal over the next weekend. Actually, starting Friday—it’s an easy one. He has to take a bunch of visiting American students for an adventure experience, so it will not be as rugged as his usual ones… I thought, if you enjoy nature, by reference this forest, you might like to join us…’ He seemed uncertain.
‘I have never trekked before…’ Niki was looking for a cop-out. It seemed entirely too soon to be spending twenty-four-seven with Sid in an untamed environment without the usual amenities and safeguards.
‘That’s no problem. Like I said, this would be an easy trek and both Jude and I are experienced trekkers. You’ll like Jude… he tells the most awesome ghost stories.’ Sid was selling the idea but not enough to overcome Niki’s reservations.
‘I really am not the rough and rugged type, Sid,’ Niki averred.
‘Give it a shot, Niki. What have you got to lose? It’s a wonderful way to leave the city behind, with all its cares and dramas. One comes back feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world. You will enjoy it, I promise,’ Sid cajoled.
‘Could I think about it?’ she prevaricated.
‘Sure, just ask me anything about the trek and I will be happy to answer… and don’t worry about the equipment. Between Jude and me, we have that part covered.’ Sid was still hopeful she would say yes, she surmised.
‘So, what if I say no…? What were the other outcomes you had prepared for?’ Niki asked.
‘Aha! That would be telling and I don’t want to muddle that pretty little noggin.’ He smiled mischievously.
‘Come on, Sid.’ Niki nudged him with her shoulder and they laughed together.
The remaining walk through the forest was filled with camaraderie and banter. The light was fading and the forest glowed with a mysterious radiance, which was almost ethereal. Other walkers in the forest didn’t look askance at the two of them. Obviously, it was a common sight and easily mistaken for a young romance. This was the price of city life, where privacy was sought in the open environs rather than behind closed doors, where private spaces and homes were overrun with people crowding each other both physically and emotionally. No, that was not just the price of city life; it was the Indian way.
The path folded back on itself and, as they neared its end, the sounds of traffic and civilisation were once again upon them. Somewhere along the way, Sid had got a hold of Niki’s hand and hadn’t let it go. Niki felt a strange sense of contentment with the gesture. She didn’t question it, quite like the kiss the other night or other gestures Sid had made. It just felt like the most natural thing in the world. This was very uncharacteristic of Niki and she knew at some subconscious level that, whatever this was that she shared with Sid, it could change her fundamentally. She couldn’t label it, give it a name but it felt right.
When they reached the foyer of her building, Sid let go of Niki’s hand.
‘Would you like to come up?’ Niki asked hesitantly.
‘I would but I have this very important call with someone in the US at nine p.m. He was a very hard person to track…’ Sid looked at his grandfather’s watch pointedly.
Niki didn’t want to admit her disappointment, ‘I understand,’ she said, keeping her voice even. ‘Thank you for introducing me to the forest…’
‘My pleasure, entirely. Do think about the trek, Niki. In fact, sleep on it and let me know tomorrow… I don’t mean to rush you but I would have to give Jude a heads-up so that he can book the train tickets and account for an additional person…’ Sid was almost formal.
‘Will do,’ Niki said, leaning over to place a chaste kiss on Sid’s cheek before walking to the elevator. She could sense him standing in the foyer till the doors closed. She was more than a little let down. After the emotional roller coaster of their conversation, she had thought Sid could at least have kissed her goodnight. Then she smacked her forehead; why did she expect Sid to behave as if they were in the throes of a romance…? This was only date three, if you could call them dates. Other than the sporadic and inconsistent physical gestures, Niki couldn’t figure out which ship this was becoming – a friendship or a relationship.
The ritualistic text ca
me that night. She replied then went to bed.
After climbing mountains all night in her dreams, Niki called Sid first thing to let him know she would join him for the trek. It had not been an easy decision. She was conflicted by the possible romantic implications but the attraction of doing something she had never done before drew her in. Sid must have known, he was probably counting on it. The wicked, wicked man.
Chapter Six
‘Why me?’ Niki asked with her hands on her hips. She was standing in Samar’s office the next morning. He had summoned her as soon as she had come into work to give her the news that she would now be helping Sid with a project he was working on.
‘I was talking to Sid about the progress on the Wave project and, given that you are actually ahead of schedule… which, by the way, well done!… he suggested that he could actually use your help and expertise in content and coding for his personal project,’ Samar placated.
‘But you said it would have to be after work…’ Niki looked at Samar, her gaze questioning his logic.
‘That is when he works on it because it ties into the US work day. But there is no extra remuneration. You have to do it from the good of your heart.’ Samar winked and smiled.
‘You do realise this will really stretch me and you haven’t answered my question… Did he ask for me specifically or someone with my skill set?’ Niki persisted.
‘You, specifically. I can only wonder why… maybe you can enlighten me.’ Samar turned the question on her. Niki didn’t want to go into the details of her relationship, or whatever it was, with Sid. Samar was a smart man. He had probably already figured out there was more to this strange request than met the eye.
As usual, Sid had put her on the back foot and thoroughly confused her. There had not even been a hint of this when he’d walked with her in the forest the evening before. Could this have been one of his other options? She had already agreed to go for the trek, so why was he pushing for this? Niki was perplexed. There was only one way to find out.
‘When and where?’ Niki asked Samar.
‘Today. His home. He will text you the address and you can be there by six-thirty p.m.’ Samar’s reply was pat and rehearsed. Niki wondered if he was afraid of Sid or was just pandering to the whims of an eccentric investor. She didn’t like being made a patsy. Sid would know. Oh, he most definitely would learn that Niki didn’t like to be manipulated.
Fuming, Niki marched out of Samar’s office and returned to her desk.
Her day could not have been less productive. She picked up her phone several times to call Sid, and then put it down because she didn’t know how to even begin the conversation. She worked with many scenarios and the wonderfully scathing things she would say but the moment she actually picked up the phone, all thoughts deserted her.
Purvi saw her agonising. ‘Is something bothering you?’ she asked.
Niki looked at her as if she had two heads and snapped, ‘No, just mind your own business.’
Purvi shrank away and Niki was overcome by guilt. She stood up, leaned over the partition between their desks and said, ‘I’m sorry. Something is bothering me but I cannot talk about it. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.’ Purvi just grimaced her acceptance of Niki’s apology but didn’t say anything.
Niki sat back down. Now Sid had made her a shrew. That man deserved to… Niki was getting angrier by the minute. Six-thirty couldn’t come soon enough.
She picked up her phone again and was startled as it buzzed to receive the text with his address. That annoying two-faced creep.
By the time she left work, Niki’s anger had simmered and reached a slow boil, flavoured with curiosity. The red haze was peppered with questions and she carried them as her baggage to Sid’s house, along with her laptop and large handbag. Her gear changes on the motorcycle were vicious as she imagined the pain she would like to inflict on Sid.
Yet when she parked her bike in front of his large but unostentatious villa she was the picture of calm. She collected her things slowly and took several deep breaths as she walked to the door. He would never guess how he had riled her, at least not until it was too late.
She rang the bell to his villa on the dot of half past six.
Sid opened the door himself. ‘Welcome to my humble abode, Niki,’ he said with a smile.
There was no sign of any dissonance or malfeasance in his demeanour, which annoyed Niki. He had to know that what he had done was not above board or kosher with her.
‘Humble?’ she asked with a thread of anger in her voice.
‘No lectures about money and how many homeless people we have in our country, please,’ he said, putting his hands up in mock surrender.
‘Need I say more?’ she asked as his Man Friday reached out to take the helmet out of her hands.
‘Meet Swami, my one man army.’ He smiled at the man and introduced her. ‘Swami, this is Niki; she will be working with me in the evenings this week.’
Swami smiled but said nothing.
‘What would you like to have? Swami makes a mean cup of filter coffee…’ Sid asked as he led Niki to his home office.
‘Coffee would be great,’ said Niki. Her body language was leaking anger but Sid did not notice.
The villa had been furnished to his taste, which bordered on the ascetic, but the study, where he apparently spent most of his time, had a very different aesthetic from the rest of the house—wood-panelling, huge plate glass windows overlooking a thriving garden, an old walnut desk with a green leather protector and a matching buttoned leather swivel chair. The wall behind the desk had floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. The facing wall had a series of computers and other equipment, with hidden wiring and a separate set of swivel chairs. A green leather chesterfield three-seater sofa and matching reclining chairs were placed in front of the window around a solid hardwood coffee table. The room looked both modern and vintage at the same time. There was focused lighting in the different areas of the room. Banker lamps with green glass shades on the surfaces, standing brass lamps next to the recliners and recessed lights in the ceiling gave the room personal warmth.
Niki was impressed. She couldn’t help a swift intake of breath as she walked through the door. Before she could help herself, she asked, ‘How do you ever get any work done here?’
‘You sit in a chair and focus on what you have to do,’ Sid ribbed Niki.
‘Ha ha!’ Niki said snarkily. She was still smarting from Sid’s absolute ignorance of her irritation and refusal to explain why he wanted her here.
Sid led her to the chesterfield near the window. ‘I will explain the project to you over coffee and then we will make a plan for how you can help me this week.’
Niki remained standing.
‘Would you like to sit down?’ Sid asked.
‘Not until you explain yourself.’ Niki didn’t hold back any more.
‘Explain what?’ Sid looked genuinely confused. ‘If you sit down, like I said, I will walk you through the project…’
‘Come on, Sid… you know that’s not what I’m talking about. Why on earth did you tell Samar you wanted me to work with you…?’ Niki was exasperated.
‘What was wrong with that? Samar was full of praise about how you were doing so well on the Wave project and that you were ahead of schedule… Since I need help with what I am doing, I thought who would be better than you and just suggested it to him. Honestly, this wasn’t planned. It happened organically during a conversation…’ Sid trailed off.
‘Seriously? You expect me to believe that this charade is not to bring me here under false pretences? What do you take me for? An idiot?’ Niki’s voice rose a few decibels.
‘Wow! So many questions… Let’s see—yes, I am serious. No, this is not a charade and there are no false pretences. I definitely do not presume you to be an idiot; quite the opposite, in fact…’ Although Sid’s voice had a hint of steel, Niki noticed a glint in his eyes.
‘Maybe it’s best if I leave…’ she said. She turned
blindly away from the chesterfield towards the door and knocked the tray carrying the promised filter coffee straight out of Swami’s hands.
‘Oh, my God! I’m sorry… I didn’t know he was there,’ she said as she immediately got down on her knees to help pick up the mess she had created. Swami joined her, gesturing there was no need for her to do so. She stood up reluctantly and looked at Sid. Her embarrassment knew no bounds.
‘Niki, Niki, Niki…’ Sid’s voice held suppressed amusement. ‘What does one do with you?’ He gently pushed a stray tendril from her face, moving his hand to cup her chin. In her mortification, she had not noticed how Sid had stepped closer to her. As his linen shirt expanded in her field of vision, she dropped her eyes and focused on a single button. It became bigger until she found herself enveloped in Sid’s embrace. Anger left her and she said in a small voice into his shirt, ‘You played me, Sid… If you wanted my help you just had to ask. There was no need for the drama.’
‘No drama, Niki. I just thought you might like to be part of something that will make a difference. I wanted to share what I was working on with you.’ Sid’s voice reverberated through his chest. Niki raised her face and looked into his eyes. He seemed to be telling the truth. She sighed. Sid’s head dipped and before she knew it his warm lips were on hers. Niki’s emotions were out of her control and she responded with an ardour she didn’t know she possessed. It was almost as if Sid was her lifeline. He hesitated for a moment before deepening the kiss with a quiet moan.
It was Sid who ended the kiss, moving his lips to place a gentle kiss on her forehead before releasing Niki from his embrace. Her heart was pounding and her breath was shallow. She had no words and collapsed onto the chesterfield.
Swami entered the room with another tray of coffee. He gave Niki a wide berth before placing it on the table. Oh, my Godi She had forgotten about Swami… Was he still there when Sid had taken her in his arms? Kissed her? Oh, my! There seemed to be no end to her humiliation.
Red-faced, Niki looked at Sid, who was an oasis of calm as he asked, ‘Coffee?’
