As the TV crew left the room, the cops—one male, one female—shut the door and introduced themselves but Josie couldn’t have repeated their names to anyone.
‘I’m very sorry to have to inform you, Mrs Jones, but a body has been found in an abandoned hut on a property near Armidale. From the information we have we believe it is your son, Robert.’
Josie heard Clara and Brenda both gasp but she was frozen.
‘I can’t believe it,’ she heard Brenda say. ‘I guess I knew it was a possibility, but when Josie turned up … well, I felt sure my Robbie was going to get a happy ending after all.’
‘How long has he been …’ Clara couldn’t finish her sentence and Josie looked up to see her lips pursed tightly as if she was struggling not to cry. Although she and Robbie had been divorced for over two years, they’d been married a long time and Josie could only imagine how Clara must be feeling right now.
Beside her, Brenda had started sobbing.
But Josie still felt numb. This was not how this was supposed to end.
‘We can’t be a hundred per cent certain until the coroner has completed the autopsy,’ said the man, ‘but earlier indicators point to him being gone at least a month, maybe a little longer.’
Clara gasped again and her hands rushed to cover her mouth as if she might be sick.
Nik stepped forward and grabbed a box of tissues from the coffee table, he offered it to Clara, she took one, then he gave the box to Brenda before squeezing in next to Josie and putting his arm around her shoulder.
She found her voice. ‘Have you any idea how he died?’ Although part of her didn’t want to hear gruesome details, she needed to know. ‘Was it natural causes or an … accident?’
‘We will be doing a full investigation,’ said the female officer, ‘but we don’t believe it was either of those things.’
‘He was murdered?’ Brenda asked, her tone incredulous.
‘No, we don’t think so. There was no evidence of anyone else involved.’
Silence hung in the air as they all digested what this information meant.
Josie’s heart cracked at the thought of Robbie all alone at the end, feeling such despair that he didn’t feel as if he had any other option but to take his own life. Every few months there was something in the news about the rising instances of middle-aged male suicide, but she’d never been close to anything like this before. She hadn’t even wanted to know her biological parents and now she felt ripped apart at the thought her father had died alone and she’d never get the chance to meet him properly.
If only Rebecca hadn’t got sick and decided to open this can of worms to give herself peace of mind, Josie wouldn’t now have to mourn a man she hadn’t even known. She might have still met Brenda and would have supported her through the news about her son, but she wouldn’t be feeling so damn confused herself.
After what seemed like forever, Nik spoke. ‘Shall I tell Haylee and the others they can go now?’
When neither Clara nor Brenda seemed to hear his question, Josie said, ‘Yes, good idea.’ The last thing they needed was the media hanging around like vultures to try and get a different, juicier, kind of story.
With a quick squeeze of her hand, Nik stood, slipped out of the room and shut the door behind him again.
‘Do you need someone to identify the body?’ Clara asked.
Brenda let out a sound like a kitten being kicked and Josie looked to see her grandmother had gone paler than she’d thought possible for a live person. Josie was about to offer to do this, when she realised that even if she wanted to take the burden off Clara and Brenda, she probably wasn’t a reliable option considering she’d only met Robbie once.
The cops exchanged a look before the female officer spoke. ‘No, that won’t be necessary; due to the time since death, in this instance we will use dental records and DNA to confirm identification. However the driver’s licence and other cards found with the deceased matched those of the man you reported missing.’
‘Ah, of course.’ Clara shook her head slightly. ‘I’m not thinking straight.’
At Clara’s words, Josie suddenly realised that although they hadn’t been told how Robbie had ended his life (and she didn’t want to ask in front of Brenda), whichever way he’d done so, a body that was a month or so old wasn’t going to be pretty. She felt ill at the thought and wondered who the poor person had been who’d discovered him.
‘So what happens next then?’ Clara asked, as Nik let himself back into the room.
The policeman took a pamphlet out of the file he carried and placed it down on the coffee table. Josie saw the words ‘When A Person Dies Suddenly’ in bold print on the front. ‘This brochure contains information about dealing with the coroner’s court. Once you’ve had time to digest the news, your first step should be appointing a funeral director and they’ll liaise with the coroner to arrange a funeral date.’
They all nodded and then Brenda said, ‘Are you going to tell us how he actually died?’
‘The coroner’s report will give you the results of the post-mortem examination, which will likely state cause of death as either fractured cervical vertebrae or asphyxia.’ The female officer paused a moment, then, ‘But I’m sorry to say your son hung himself.’
‘Thank you,’ Brenda whispered with an ever so slight nod. It sounded like a weird thing to say but Josie understood—it was better to know these things however appalling and horrific they were.
‘Do you have any further questions?’ asked the policeman.
‘Did he leave any letters to anyone?’ Clara asked.
He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, but there was nothing like that found on his person.’
When none of them could think of anything else to ask, the cops made their excuses to leave. The female officer left a card with her contact details and told them to call her if any more questions arose. Nik showed them to the door, then came back and immediately pulled Josie into a hug. Thank God it was his day off and he’d decided to come to the filming with her. She just felt better with him there.
Silence hung in the room for a few long minutes as if all of them were still digesting the news, then Brenda finally broke it. ‘Well, today didn’t quite go according to plan, did it?’
Josie attempted to swallow the lump in her throat and shook her head. ‘Can I get you a cup of tea?’ She felt a strong urge to do something.
‘I can make them,’ Nik volunteered.
Brenda gave them a small smile. ‘No thank you. There’s not much a cup of tea can’t fix, but I think this might be one of those things. I don’t think I can stomach anything right now, but you three have one if you want.’
‘Do you want me to make you one?’ Nik asked Clara.
She shook her head. ‘No. I don’t think I do.’ Then she looked to her mother-in-law. ‘Would you like me to call a funeral director, Brenda?’
The older woman sighed. ‘You’ve already been such a help, I don’t like to burden you with this.’
‘He was my husband,’ Clara said. ‘It’s not a burden.’
It was the first time Josie had heard Clara call Robbie anything other than her ‘ex-husband’. She didn’t think there was any rush to call anyone but perhaps, like her, Clara felt as if she needed to do something.
‘Okay. Thank you,’ Brenda conceded and then laid her head back against the sofa as if suddenly exhausted.
Clara slipped into the kitchen—Josie guessed to start making phone calls.
‘Is there anything I can get or do for you?’ Josie asked Brenda.
‘Will you just sit with me a while?’
‘Of course.’ Josie wasn’t planning on going anywhere. They might have only just discovered each other, but she was the only family the older woman had left and she was going to take that role very seriously. She just wished there was something she could do to help in the now.
Once again, she claimed Brenda’s hand and Nik, looking unsure what to do with himself, perched on the edg
e of the recliner. The three of them sat there in not uncomfortable silence as Josie went over and over again in her head what the cops had told them. Just over a month since Robbie had ended it all. Why after all these years had he suddenly decided he’d had enough? If only he’d held on just a few more weeks.
It seemed so unfair.
Josie didn’t realise she was crying until Brenda patted her hand. ‘Do you need one of these, dear?’ she asked, offering her the tissues.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered as she took one, unsure whether she was sad for herself, for Robbie, for Brenda or just at the whole awful situation.
After a little while longer, Brenda said, ‘You’re a sweet girl. The saddest part in all of this is that Robbie never got to know you, but I’m so glad I’ve got the chance.’
‘Me too.’
Her grandmother gestured to the box of LPs beside them. ‘Robbie would want you to have them. I know you’ll look after and love them the way he did.’
‘Oh. Thank you.’ Overcome with emotion, Josie took a moment before she said, ‘Do you think we could put on Robbie’s record now or would you rather not?’
‘I think that’s a lovely idea,’ Brenda said and Nik leapt to his feet.
‘I’ll do it.’ He was obviously grateful to have something to do.
They were listening to One Track Mind’s one hit song when Clara returned to the room.
‘That song was about you,’ she said simply, looking at Josie as she flopped down into the recliner. ‘Everyone thought it was about a woman who’d broken Robert’s heart, but he told me not long after we met that it was a love letter to his son.’
‘I always suspected as much,’ Brenda whispered and Josie’s tears that had almost subsided multiplied. It was the saddest yet most wonderful thing she’d ever heard.
The song ended and Brenda looked to Clara. ‘How’d you go?’
Clara nodded. ‘We’ve got an appointment to see a funeral director tomorrow afternoon. If you’re up for it.’
‘I will be.’
Nik cleared his throat. ‘I was thinking. Should someone tell Rebecca? You know … before she finds out … some other way?’
They all looked at him as if he’d asked if someone should tell the pope. Yet he was right. It would be terrible if she were to hear the news on the actual news, but even so, the last thing Josie felt like doing right now was going to see her biological mother, which would also mean leaving Brenda. If Paige were in the country she could perhaps give her the message to tell her mother, but Paige was on her honeymoon and this probably wasn’t a thing that should be delivered via telephone.
She sighed and was just about to say she’d go, when Clara got in first.
‘I’ll go tell her. You’re right, Nik. She deserves to know.’
‘Are you sure?’ Josie asked.
‘Yes. Unless you want to?’
Josie shook her head. ‘Not really. I’d rather stay here.’
‘And here’s where you should be.’
As Clara stood, Josie did too. She crossed over and gave the other woman a wordless hug; their arms said everything they needed to.
‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Nik asked, as the women pulled back from their embrace.
‘No, I’ll be fine. But thank you.’ Clara scooped her handbag off the floor. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’
Josie looked again to her grandmother as Clara left, wondering what she should do next. She tried to remember what had helped after she’d found out that her mother had died, but came up blank. There was nothing that made any kind of death any better. But at least when her mother died, she and her father were swamped with other people who cared about her mother and wanted to offer practical support. They’d been given so many casseroles they’d had to buy another freezer and her dad had still been eating lasagne months later.
But that did make her think of something. ‘Is there anyone else we need to inform about Robbie’s death?’ she asked.
‘I don’t think so,’ Brenda answered immediately. ‘I don’t have any family left and I don’t think Robbie was close to anyone either. Although Clara might have a better idea.’
‘Never mind, we’ll worry about that later,’ Josie said, immediately regretting the question. It was awful to think that someone could die and there were less than a handful of people that gave a damn. She guessed it would be a very small funeral.
Brenda nodded. ‘Do you mind if I have a little lie down?’
‘No, of course not.’ Josie rushed forward to help her grandmother to her feet and down the hallway to her bedroom. ‘Nik and I will be right out here,’ she said. ‘Please call out if you need anything.’
‘I will. Thank you, dear.’ And with a soft smile, Brenda shuffled into her room and closed the door.
Josie let out a long deep sigh and felt Nik’s arms close around her.
‘He ended his life because of me,’ she sobbed, thinking of that guy who’d listened at The Inferno. She was the reason for his despair!
Nik pulled back and turned her to look at him. ‘What?’
‘Robbie was the way he was—and he couldn’t handle it anymore—because he never got over giving me away. If I wasn’t born or if I—’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Nik gripped her shoulders more tightly than he ever had before. ‘I know you’re in shock. But this is not your fault. Robert was obviously deeply depressed and could no longer bear the pain. But if you need someone to blame, blame Rebecca’s parents. They are the only ones that have anything to answer for.’
Rebecca
Rebecca was glad she was sitting down when she opened Facebook Monday morning.
She’d been checking the ‘Find Robbie Jones’ page obsessively since Paige told her about it and her check-ins had become even more regular since her catch-up with Josie on the weekend. It wasn’t that the meeting was a disaster. In theory she’d got what she went for—the reassurance that Josie didn’t suffer in her childhood because of her adoption and had had a good life—but it hadn’t been like the reunions you see on TV or like the one Rebecca had secretly imagined. She and Josie hadn’t thrown their arms around each other, cried tears of joy that they’d finally found the other after all this time and then clicked as if they’d known each other forever.
The conversation hadn’t been stilted exactly but it was definitely not comfortable either. It was as if Josie had a list of questions she wanted to get through and once she was done, she hadn’t been able to get out of there fast enough. Rebecca had hoped Josie would open up about her miscarriages so that she could offer some kind of motherly support, but Josie had steered clear of anything too personal, except where Robbie was concerned. Despite her standoffish behaviour with Rebecca, Josie didn’t appear to have any hard feelings towards her biological father. She knew this was due to the fact Robbie had been vocal about always wanting to find her and although she couldn’t blame Josie, it still hurt.
Somehow Rebecca believed that if they did find Robbie, Josie would be more open to getting to know her a little better—especially if she herself somehow helped find him. As promised she’d spoken to her dad on Saturday afternoon and eventually he’d agreed to call someone he used to know who still worked in missing persons. No matter what she said, no matter how angry she got, he was a stubborn man—he refused to acknowledge that he and her mother were ever in the wrong and he refused to call his contact on a weekend. She’d decided to give him till noon today and then call him to see if he’d managed to make contact. This time she didn’t plan on letting them push her around and she wouldn’t stop pestering until he got her some answers.
She’d also researched private investigators and had a shortlist ready to call once she had the information from the police. Hugh likely wouldn’t be keen on spending their money on the search for her ex, but Rebecca contributed to the household income with her piano lessons and this was important.
So caught up in these thoughts as she scrolled through her timeline, she a
lmost went right past a photo of Paige and Solomon standing in front of the ‘Welcome To Las Vegas’ sign wearing a wedding dress and dark-grey suit.
Oh my God! Her fingers froze on the mouse as her heart froze in her chest.
Blinking, she leaned so close to the screen she’d be in danger of giving herself eyestrain in an effort to check she wasn’t seeing things.
She wasn’t. Paige looked stunning in Rebecca’s own dress and the words attached to the post declared that she and Sol had tied the knot that afternoon (it was still Sunday in America). Her first thought was that if she hadn’t joined Facebook, she’d never have seen this post. Was this why Paige had suddenly accepted her friend request on Friday afternoon? Rebecca thought it had been a step towards reconciliation but maybe she did so simply so she could rub this in her face.
Tears plopped onto the keyboard as Rebecca realised she’d missed this monumental moment in her daughter’s life. How could she and Sol ever have thought this was a good idea? But even as she thought this, she knew the answer. Both her daughters were causing her pain right now and she had no one to blame but herself. Instinctively her hand reached for her mobile phone and before she knew it she was calling Hugh, praying he’d not be in the middle of a shoot and unable to talk.
Thank God he answered after only a couple of rings. ‘I was just about to call you.’
‘So you’ve seen Facebook?’ She could barely talk past the tears.
‘Yes.’ His one word oozed disbelief.
‘How could she do this to us?’
‘Now calm down Rebecca. I know this is a shock and you’re obviously upset—’
‘Aren’t you?’ she accused. ‘How could they do this? And worse, how could they let us find out about it on social media?’
He took a moment to reply and she realised he was far more likely to be angry at her than Paige over this.
‘Obviously I would have preferred to have been there to witness Paige’s and Sol’s big day, but this is about them, not you, not me, not us! The important thing is they’ve sorted their differences. And hey, this way, maybe we can spend all the money we would have spent on the wedding on an overseas holiday for us instead.’
Lost Without You Page 37
