by Lois Richer
“Sorry.” He stepped back.
“It’s okay.” She forced a smile. “I guess I zoned out for a minute.”
“Brianna, what’s wrong?” Zac glanced from the window to her. “Did Cory do something?”
“Not that I know of. Yet.” She picked up the tray she’d been arranging, wishing she had avoided these moments alone with Zac.
“I want to thank Cory for his help with the float in a concrete way. Would it be okay if he came for dinner one night? Kent comes over most Wednesdays when Jaclyn works late. I usually barbecue steaks.” Zac blinked. “Would Cory like that?”
“You don’t have to invite him.” But she was glad he’d offered. Maybe Zac could get Cory to take an interest in something other than the two boys he called friends. “But, yes, I’m sure he’d love a good steak. I don’t cook it often because I’m not good at grilling.”
Was this the help for her son that she’d been praying for? A Proverbs verse she’d memorized in youth group long ago flickered through her mind. If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength. It seemed she was constantly faltering, and her strength was diminishing with every day.
“He’s going to be okay, Brianna.” Zac had moved to stand behind her and now his breath brushed her ear. “Cory’s nobody’s fool. Relax. Give him a chance to prove himself.”
“Have some faith. Is that what you mean?” She smiled, nodded and motioned toward the other room. “I’ll try. Let’s go catch up on what everyone’s been doing.”
Brianna pretended to enjoy the rest of the evening. She listened to her old friends tease one another, found out their friend Shay expected to return to Hope within six months and realized that Nick wasn’t just her old pal anymore. He, like Shay, was famous, though unlike her, he seemed unchanged by it. Shay seemed much more reserved, and she wondered why, but Brianna’s thoughts kept returning to Cory.
One by one her friends eventually left after thanking her for the evening. Zac remained behind to help with clean-up. When he caught her glancing at the clock for the third time in five minutes he took the dishes from her hand, put them in the dishwasher then turned her to face him.
“What time was Cory supposed to be home?”
“An hour ago.” She could hide her worry no longer. “He’s not supposed to break his curfew, Zac. That’s one of the judge’s conditions.”
“Cory knows that. He’ll be here soon.” Though kind, his words did nothing to comfort her.
“He’s never broken it before by more than a couple of minutes.” Brianna stared at him, knowing she had to ask, but wishing it was someone else. Anyone else. She did not want to need Zac. Yet she did. “Will you help me look for him? Please?”
“Sure.” There was no hesitation. Zac grabbed his jacket and his keys. “We can take my car.”
“Just let me tell Dad what we’re doing so he can phone me if he hears from Cory.” Relief made her feel light-headed as Brianna raced up the stairs and explained to her dad. She returned to find Zac had finished the cleaning. Everything sparkled. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“No big deal. Ready?” He handed her into his car.
They drove all over town but found no sign of Cory or his friends.
“It’s after midnight,” she said. Panic lurked in the back of her throat. “Something’s wrong.”
“Nothing in town is open now,” Zac agreed. “Hope isn’t exactly a night spot. Maybe they went out of town.”
“For what?” Brianna heard the anger in her voice and modulated it. This wasn’t Zac’s fault. “I don’t know why they would do that, but I guess we can check.” She was bowed down with the knowledge that this child she had promised Craig she’d protect was in trouble.
Ten minutes later the headlights of Zac’s car caught three figures trudging toward town. Anger vied for relief. As soon as Zac pulled to the side of the road, Brianna reached for the door handle.
“Brianna.” Zac’s hand on her shoulder stopped her. “I know I have no business telling you this, but I’m going to say it anyway. Don’t yell at Cory in front of his friends, even though he deserves it. You can bawl him out later. For now, just listen.”
She glared at him, but she knew he was right. Cory would only be embarrassed if she did the mom thing in front of his friends, and they didn’t need any more conflicts to add to the strain already building between them. She’d wait until they were home.
Brianna inhaled and opened the door. The trio stood next to the right front fender. Cory looked at her with a mixture of shame and a tinge of defiance. The other two acted nonchalant.
“Need a ride?” It cost Brianna a great deal not to embrace Cory, so great was her relief at seeing him healthy and alive.
“Yeah. Thanks, Mom.” He got in the backseat with his two friends. “Thanks, Mr. Ender. We would have never all fit in Mom’s little car.”
“What were you doing out here?” Zac asked after a sideways glance at Brianna. He turned around and headed back to Hope as the kids explained that they’d hitchhiked out to an old mine they’d heard about.
“But by the time we were ready to come back, we couldn’t catch a ride. Seems like everything around Hope dies at night.” That was Adam, the kid Brianna had dubbed the ringleader. His tone was scathing. “Where I come from there’s life after nine.”
“Where is that?” Zac asked.
“L.A. Man, that place always has something to offer.”
“We’ll drop you at home,” Brianna said. “Where do you live?” The two boys argued to be dropped off in the middle of town but Brianna refused, insisting they be left at home. She heaved a huge sigh of relief when the two were gone and glanced at Cory, expecting an explanation. But his head was down. Probably embarrassed in front of Zac. He should be. She vacillated between anger and relief.
Zac drove them home, saying nothing to break the silence. Brianna waited until he’d pulled into her driveway.
“Go inside, Cory. Wait for me in the living room.” She looked straight at him, expecting an argument. Cory said nothing, simply got out of the car, thanked Zac and went inside. Brianna turned to Zac. “Thank you for your help. I really appreciate it. I would never have thought—”
He chuckled and shook his head. “I guess you have to be a guy to think of some things. Don’t worry about it. I was happy to help. I’m just glad we found Cory safe and sound.”
“Yes.” Her fingers curled against the door handle. She needed to get out of this intimate atmosphere before she said something she’d regret. “Just let me know when you want Cory to come over for dinner, will you?” She pushed open the door and met his gaze. “And thank you. Again.”
“My pleasure. And thank you for the party. It was good to see everyone again.” Zac looked confident, competent and totally in control.
Everything Brianna was not. But, then, Zac didn’t have a son to raise.
“Well, good night.” She closed the door and walked inside the house, praying desperately for heavenly help with a situation she felt incapable of handling. “Please, God, give me the words to say to Cory.”
Another verse popped into her head.
You will keep Him in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on You.
Was that what she was doing wrong? Not spending enough time focusing on God?
Tonight, right after she read the riot act to Cory, she was going to spend an hour reading her Bible. The answers to reaching her son had to be there.
And maybe she’d also figure out how to deal with her escalating responses to Zac.
Chapter Six
“We’re not going to leave you to eat alone, Brianna, so come on.” Zac stemmed his irritation that she would rather eat alone than join him and Cory.
“But—”
“Kent can’t make it tonight so it will be just the th
ree of us.” He saw her hesitation and pounced. “I know your dad is eating with your mom tonight. I met him on my way here, and he told me about the home’s October Harvest Meal.”
Brianna glanced from him to Cory.
“Come on, Mom. It’ll be fun.”
“If you’re sure I won’t be in the way.” When they both agreed she wouldn’t, Brianna finally accepted the invitation. “I’ll have to catch a ride with you, though, Zac. My car is in the shop.”
“Again,” Cory muttered, rolling his eyes.
“It’s not that bad.” Brianna got in the front seat of Zac’s car.
She wasn’t sure about allowing Cory this privilege so soon after he’d messed up with his curfew, but she’d done her best to point out the seriousness of his bad choices and he’d seemed to pay attention. For this one evening she was not going to worry about Cory. She was going to relax and try to enjoy herself.
And it was fun. Especially because Cory dropped his macho act and allowed himself to be the kid he was.
“For a first-time griller, you did an awesome job, Cory.” Zac savored his steak with appreciative eyes. “It’s not everyone who can get a rare steak done perfectly. This one is.”
“You did all the work. But thanks.” Cory hid his burning cheeks by bending over his plate. But a minute later he glanced up to the plaque on the stone wall next to the barbecue. “What does that mean?” he asked.
Brianna read the words silently.
When He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
“That’s a very special verse my mom taught me years ago when I had to have a lot of surgeries.” Zac smiled at him. “Sometimes I got really grumpy so one day my mother read me the story of Job. Do you know it?”
“Sort of.” Cory leaned forward, his interest obvious.
“Well, to recap, Job had a lot of problems. He lost his family, his wealth and his health, but he didn’t lose his faith, even when his friends tried to convince him he’d done something wrong.” Zac pointed to the plaque. “That’s what he said in the middle of all his trials. When He has tested me, I will come forth as gold. So I try to remember Job’s faith when I get tested.”
“Tested? You mean God tests you?” Cory’s eyes widened.
“Of course. Faith in God means being strong.” Zac shrugged. “That’s what God’s tests are all about. He needs us to learn how to keep doing the right thing, trusting in Him no matter what.”
“Oh.” Cory concentrated on his meal.
Brianna did, too, mulling over what Zac had said. Was that the reason behind the hardship she struggled with? Was God testing her faith?
If so, she figured He must be disappointed. She hadn’t had to endure years of surgeries as Zac had, though she had endured years of her mother’s controlling. Still—she decided to think about it more later, when she was alone.
Once they’d finished their steaks, grilled potatoes and the Caesar salad Brianna had made, Zac surprised them with his grilled dessert—chocolate melted over sweet sliced peaches on a bed of crushed cookies.
“Wow!” Cory’s pupils expanded. “I never knew guys could cook like this.”
“Really?” Zac frowned at him. “Don’t the guys you know eat?”
“Yes, but—” Cory glanced at Brianna.
“In my opinion, taking care of yourself is a basic skill every guy and girl ought to know,” Zac said firmly. “If you can’t even take care of yourself, how can you become an adult who has to be responsible for others?”
It was clear to Brianna that Cory had never considered this. After they’d cleared the dishes and stored them in the dishwasher, Cory wandered off to a spot in the yard where he sat down and stared at the plaque.
“Thank you for that,” Brianna murmured. “It seems your words really hit home with him. Finally.”
“Sometimes we have to hear things from a different person to get them through our thick heads.” He offered her a mug of steaming tea and she took it, even though the evening retained much of its heat. “How do you think Your World is going to go over on Monday?” he asked.
“Zac, are you seriously worried about this?” Brianna could see by his furrowed brow that he was. “Why?”
“I have a lot riding on this project.”
“You do? But you said you’re staying behind the scenes.” As Brianna studied him she felt her body tense. He wasn’t telling her something.
“I guess I’ve never really explained to you why I want this project to make such a difference here,” he said, his voice grave.
“You said you wanted to challenge the students’ apathy.” She raised one eyebrow. “Was that a lie?”
“No, of course not. I do want that. Very much. But I have a second reason for wanting to see success in Hope’s schools.” Zac inhaled, then gazed directly at her. “I want to get into curriculum development, Brianna, at the state level.”
“Ah.” Understanding dawned. Her stomach took a nosedive. “And to get that job you need a big success in Hope, success you want to achieve with the Your World project, so the folks in the state offices will see that your methods succeed, right? I get it.”
Here she’d been entertaining thoughts of tenderness toward him, and it seemed Zac was using her. What a fool!
“Brianna—”
“Hope’s failing schools are all part of your big plan. You were telling the truth when you said that’s why you came back.”
“Yes, but I wasn’t trying to use you, Brianna,” Zac rushed to reassure, dots of red coloring his prominent cheekbones. “I thought this would be good for your practice, too.”
“Really? I think you thought giving Whispering Hope Clinic, me, the contract for school counseling was a way to make me so grateful I’d willingly help you with your big idea.” She bit her lip to contain the words but they spilled out anyway. “It’s the same old, same old, isn’t it?”
“No,” he objected, but it was a weak objection.
“Yes.” Brianna set down her cup of tea, unable to swallow the very drink she’d been so happy he’d brewed moments before. “Back when we were to be married, you couldn’t manage to be honest enough to tell me you’d accepted my mother’s job. Now you can’t be honest about your reasons for this project. I suppose you won’t like hearing that Your World is actually causing a lot of problems at the clinic.” Fury burned deep inside. Duped again. How dumb was she?
“What do you mean?” Zac stared at her.
“I mean that I’ve been working hard with several teens, trying to get them to see beyond their current circumstances to what the future could hold for them. But I’m fighting their parents every step of the way. They don’t want their children to leave town any more than my mother wanted me to go way back when.” She rose. “In fact, Eve Larsen’s parents have been to see me twice, asking me to stop encouraging their daughter.”
“Why would any parent object—”
“I can give you several reasons. They need their daughter in their business. Second, they think her goals are too lofty to succeed and, even if they weren’t, they’re worried about the expense. So you see, any benefit in my practice that I might have expected from Your World has already been negated by the Larsens bad-mouthing me all over town. I don’t expect it to take long before other parents join their objections.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—”
“Exactly the point, Zac. You didn’t realize. How could you? You were so focused on your own goal, you never gave a thought to what your scheme would mean to me or anyone else. But then it’s always been all about you, hasn’t it?” She grabbed her purse and sauntered toward the gate. “Stupid me. I thought you’d changed.” She cut off the words, unwilling to admit she’d hoped things could change between them. “Cory, come on. We’re leaving. Thanks for dinner. We’ll walk home. I need the fresh air.”<
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Though Cory gave her several speculative glances on the way home, he didn’t ask any questions, choosing instead to disappear into his grandfather’s studio in the garage where the two of them painted until bedtime. Brianna went into Cory’s room to say good-night and praised his latest watercolor, a pretty picture of Zac’s backyard.
“Good night, honey,” she said as she hugged him, amazed as always that she was the mother of this amazing child. “Church tomorrow morning, don’t forget.”
“Yeah.” Cory peered at her. “You’re pretty steamed at Zac, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” There was no point in pretending otherwise.
“Why?”
“Because he didn’t tell me the truth.” Bitterness flowed inside. “I’ve known Zac for a long time. I thought we were friends.”
“Sometimes people make mistakes, Mom.” Cory’s blue-eyed gaze held hers. “You always told me that God expects us to forgive and forget.”
“Yes, I did. And I will. But I’m not there yet, son.” She brushed his sandy brown hair off his forehead. “You’re old enough to know that sometimes we have to work things through before we can find forgiveness in our heart.”
“Is that what you’re doing with Grandma? Finding forgiveness?”
“I’m trying, son. I’m trying. Have a good sleep.”
Brianna wandered downstairs and found her father sipping a cup of cocoa.
“Warm night for that, isn’t it?”
“Probably.” He grinned. “But sometimes a cup of hot chocolate is exactly the medicine a body needs. Want some?”
“Yes.” She accepted the steaming mug he handed her. “And, no, I don’t want to talk about it,” she hurried to say, seeing the speculation in his eyes.
“Okay.” He led the way to the back patio where they both flopped onto comfortable lounge chairs around the pool.
Brianna sipped her chocolate as she struggled to figure out why she kept being disappointed in people. She needed to unload on someone so finally she blurted out, “Why doesn’t God care about me, Dad?”
“Where did you get that idea?” he said, his voice calm in the dusky silence.
