Eagle's Destiny

by C. J. Corbin

  I looked at him, “You weren’t kidding were you? We really are going to make out?”

  He laughed and cleared his throat, “Those were my plans. I usually make smoother moves and don’t announce it in advance.”

  I moved my arms up around his shoulders. “Oh you’re plenty smooth enough for me.”

  Michael did not answer. I was glad I had a big couch when he stretched out next to me. His arm wrapped around me, and he traced the line of my jaw with his other hand. Touching my lips softly with his lips, his mouth delved into mine and I could taste the wine we had shared. While our kisses explored, his hands were on their own expedition around my body. Michael’s large hands gently kneading my hips and waist began to awaken parts of me that I thought I had deeply buried. A well-hidden need inside of me I had not felt in a long time started to grow. If his kisses could elicit these types of responses from my body, I could only imagine what it would be like when his hands touched naked skin. I expected him to pull back after we kissed. Instead, his lips trailed to my neck and then they went lower on my chest. Michael’s lips stopped just above where my tank top started. He raised his head and looked at me. His free hand moved under the bottom of the tank and he touched my bare stomach.

  I breathed in. I wanted him to go higher and I wanted him to go lower. There were also those parts of me that said no, and stop. My body tensed and Michael felt the change. He looked up at me with questioning eyes. “Too much?” he asked."

  I nodded. “I’m sorry Michael. Things are just moving kind of fast.”

  He removed his hand from under my top and laid it around my waist. Michael smiled at me, “You know that wasn’t my intention, you are hard to resist.”

  “You are too. You’re not going to leave, are you?”

  I did not want to know the answer because I was so sure he would answer yes. Disappointment started to fill me. Once again, I had messed up a good thing by being cautious.

  “Do you want me to?” he asked.

  My eyes grew big and I could not believe that tears were forming my eyes. I closed them and I shook my head. “No. But…” I trailed off opening my eyes again.

  Michael laughed. “Oh Elizabeth.” He sat up and pulled me up into his lap. “I’m not going anywhere.” His smile was inviting and warm, and not the least bit angry. “At least not right now, later I’ll have to go home and take a cold shower.”

  I whispered into his neck, “I’m sorry.”

  He bent to kiss me again. “I don’t want to rush you. When you’re ready you’ll let me know.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  I had drawn the line and Michael did not attempt to cross it again. We sat on the couch watching the game and kissing, but it was all tame in comparison to the earlier event. He left me with a goodnight kiss after we cleaned the kitchen and a promise that we would go to the baseball game together the next afternoon. I lay in bed Sunday morning long after I awoke. I wasn’t interested in my usual coffee. There I was just staring at the ceiling, thinking.

  Michael confused me and at the same time excited me. He was a man that would not deter easily. I knew this and yet I still didn’t know why he was so attracted to me. I was certainly attracted to him. He was handsome, intelligent, caring, fun to be with, and definitely sexy. I giggled aloud at that thought. There were no bad sides, or at least none had seen the light of day. What was it that I offered to him?

  I was so boring. I waited for life to come to me and rarely chased after it. Michael on the other hand seemed to pursue life, capturing excitement with every step he took. I was simply a writer, living vicariously through my characters.

  I sighed and spoke aloud, “Even they have more exciting lives than I do.”

  Samantha, after hearing my voice got up from her spot and lay on top of my stomach. I reached down and petted her soft head, “Mommy is feeling sorry for herself, isn’t she? Are you both hungry for breakfast?” I pulled myself together and threw back the covers. The dogs happily followed me into the kitchen.

  While I made coffee the phone rang, and I wasn’t surprised to hear Nancy’s voice on the other end. I had been neglecting my writing and she yelled at me for a few moments. Nancy was far too interested however in what had transpired yesterday between Michael and me.

  “Girl, he has it bad for you. I’m surprised he didn’t just rip off your clothes and have his way with you,” Nancy teased me.

  “You know I’ve never been one for casual sex, and I’m not going to start now.” I retorted.

  Nancy laughed her voice was low and easy, “How long are you planning on dragging this out? The poor man, how many showers are you going to force on him.”

  “Nancy,” I said my voice taking a serious tone, “all kidding aside. I know he is interested in me, I’m just not sure why. I don’t want to get into a relationship with someone just for sex, because I’m not looking for that in my life. It wouldn’t be fair to him or to me.”

  “Then Elizabeth, what is it that you want? It certainly isn’t fair for you to string him along.”

  “Do you think I’m doing that? Nancy we’ve only known each other a few weeks.” I asked worriedly.

  “Girl, this is not one of your romance novels, this is your life. You need to figure out what you want and when you’ve decided then you need to figure out if he fits into your life.” Even though Nancy was younger, she started to sound like my mother. “Michael obviously likes you. Look, he introduced you to his grandmother. What man does that? I say go for it.”

  I paused so long that Nancy had to ask if I was still on the line. “I’m here. I think I’m just afraid, you know of being hurt all over again.”

  Nancy snorted, “Well my dear, welcome to the club. None of us wants to be hurt, ever. Nevertheless, how are you going to enjoy the mountains if you have never been in the valleys? Hurt is intrinsic to relationships. Of course, you can be really stupid and marry someone like Kevin the wonder boy.”

  “Exactly my point Nancy, I don’t want to make another mistake like Kevin.”

  Nancy laughed, “Oh, I doubt you will. Kevin is one in a million. You just got lucky.”

  “Some luck.” I whispered.

  I had plenty to think about after our conversation. I sat at my desk and started on my book. A commotion outside drew my attention. Michael and the two girls were playing with a Frisbee. When one of them did not catch the Frisbee, their dogs were on the scene to pick it up and run.

  Their laughter was contagious, and I found myself laughing with them. I walked out to the porch. All three of them saw me at once. My dogs went bounding down the steps to join them and I followed.

  “Catch Elizabeth!” Michael snatched the Frisbee out of Tammy’s hands and threw it at me.

  I caught it with one hand.

  Tammy yelled, “No fair Dad! Throw it to me Elizabeth! Dad and Katy are cheating!”

  I laughed and looked at each one of them, “I don’t think so! It’s mine now.” I shielded the Frisbee. Michael and Katy ran toward me and I quickly threw it to Tammy. They rapidly turned and ran toward Tammy. Tammy threw it back to me.

  Michael jumped up and caught it in the air. He was so close to me as he came down he pulled me with him. We lay there in a heap with our dogs surrounding us. Michael breathed heavily from the exertion as he waved the Frisbee up in the air. “I win!” He shouted victoriously. Michael was back on his feet and pulled me to my feet in two fluid movements. He put his arm around my waist and planted a kiss on my forehead. “Thanks for helping!”

  I was a little surprised that he did not kiss me on the lips but I shrugged it off. “I wasn’t trying to help you win!”

  Michael laughed, “It’s all the same!” He did a small victory dance. “Have you had breakfast?” When I shook my head he said, “Come and join us. I made quiche and we’ve got some strawberries that Katy picked up yesterday while she was out with her twin friends.”

  The table was already set for four. I asked Katy about the whereabouts of Ben and Bob and sh
e replied that they would be in San Francisco until the next morning. Someone had planned to invite me. The idea comforted me.

  “What can I do?” I asked looking for a task.

  Michael quickly replied. “Sit.”

  The three moved around me like a well-oiled machine. They had performed this drill many times before and were well used to their roles. The table reminded me of the setting yesterday at Grandmother Helen’s house. Plain yogurt and preserves were on the table. Tammy added the baguette and cheese to the table and she sat next to me. Bringing in the strawberries, Katy sat opposite to me. Michael brought the quiche to the table and sat between Katy and me. This time when Michael gave the blessing over the food I was waiting for it. Michael took my plate a put a big portion of quiche in the middle.

  “Way too much,” I said.

  Tammy poked me in the ribs, “Wait until you taste it, it is really good.”

  I took a bite. I could not believe the taste. The quiche was a wonderful blend of different types of cheeses with broccoli, spinach, onions, and roasted peppers.

  “Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed with another bite in my mouth, “This is incredible!”

  Michael smiled and Tammy whispered. “See I told you. Dad is a fantastic cook.”

  His face had a slight blush. “It was out of necessity.” Michael said humbly. He continued to heap quiche on the remaining plates.

  “You’re not kidding on that one.” Katy replied matter-of-factly. “Mom is a terrible cook. Her idea of cooking was a frozen dinner for us and she would eat out.”

  “It isn’t that bad Katy,” Michael objected.

  So, his ex-wife did not cook either, well at least we were even on that score. I smiled to myself and Michael caught my grin. He looked puzzled but let it pass.

  We continued the brunch with conversation around the table. Katy still wanted me to sing with their trio and I agreed on times for rehearsals next week. Both Katy and Tammy begged off the dishes and they left the house. Michael and I carried the dishes into the kitchen and I helped him load the dishwasher.

  Michael turned to me as he put the last dish in the washer. “Would you do a favor for me Elizabeth?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “I’m going to Louisiana tomorrow to start a job. It’s been planned for awhile.” Michael explained.

  “Oh? What’s in Louisiana?” I asked. This was the first time I had heard about an assignment in Louisiana, but his work had not been an extensive topic of conversation for us.

  “Alligators.” He said giving me a broad grin.

  My eyes widen. “You’re going to photograph alligators?”

  Michael laughed quietly, closing the dishwasher door and pressing the buttons to start the cycle. “Yep. National Geographic is doing a special photo expose’ on Louisiana, you know, after Hurricane Katrina. There is a biologist who is trying to rebuild some of their habitats in the bayou.”

  I laughed too, “So you want to know what shoe size I wear?”

  Michael really chuckled, “Elizabeth, shame on you! No, I want you to keep an eye on the girls.”

  “Oh, you mean spy on them for you?” I joked.

  “No, well, yes, no, I mean no. I don’t want you to spy on them. I want to make sure everything runs smoothly in the house, with Jason and the other boys. So there are no wild parties going on.”

  “Don’t you trust them?” I asked raising my eyebrows.

  “Of course I trust them. I just want to make sure there is a mature adult around in case they have problems.”

  “Gee, what a compliment Michael. A mature adult.”

  He grabbed me around the waist. “You know what I meant. Stop giving me such a hard time.”

  I laughed and expected him to kiss me. When he did not and he just released me, it made me pause.

  “Well,” I said, “I need to get home and prepare myself for the baseball game. What time do you want to go?”

  “Yeah, about the game today.” He broke off for a second. “We can drive together, but I’m coming back to the house right after the game. I need to pack and get my gear together. I’m meeting up with a new assistant and I want to have everything ready to go. Do you think you can get a ride home with Debi and Don?”

  My heart sank. I knew it. Michael was rejecting me. I would not sleep with him and now he was not interested in me anymore. I wanted to cry, but I held back the tears.

  “Oh, okay. Well, come by and let me know when you’re ready to go.”

  “Okay.” He picked up the newspaper from the kitchen table and we both walked to his back porch. Topper and Samantha followed me down the steps while Michael stuffed the newspaper into the trashcan. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  I did not turn around. I was afraid that he would see the tears running down my cheeks. Two days in a row, I had cried over Michael and I was more confused than ever now. The more I told myself not to think about it the more I did.

  I went straight to my bedroom. Laying down on my bed with the dogs snuggling up to me, I held my pillows tightly and cried.

  Time went by, and I knew that I had to get up and put my uniform on. I did not want to play baseball and I was in no mood to see anyone. Dreading the ride over to the park, I hoped there would not be an uncomfortable silence. I thought about taking my own car and almost called him.

  My eyes were puffy from crying and holding a cold, wet washcloth against them did nothing to alleviate the puffiness. I sighed and resigned myself to wearing my sunglasses until the game started. No one would really be able to see me when I was on the mound.

  Michael knocked on the door and I grabbed my stuff. I opened the door with full hands and no chance to put my sunglasses on. He was standing in front of me and I knew he saw the appearance of my eyes.

  “Are you okay?” He hesitated and then softly touched my cheek. He quickly removed his hand as if he had done something wrong.

  I cleared my throat and swallowed. “Ah yeah. Fine.” Not wanting to fabricate a story, I offered no further explanation. He moved out of my way when I walked toward him. I slipped my sunglasses on and waited at the car for him to open door.

  Michael slid into the driver’s side and started the engine. Anything was better than sitting in the car in silence. I poked my brain for something to say. “Did you get started on your packing?”

  Michael nodded as he moved out into the traffic. “Yeah, I’m leaving at about seven tomorrow morning and there is always a lot of preparation before a shoot. I’m working with a new assistant from the university so I’ll be breaking him in too. My biologist friend sent me a ton of reading material discussing the new habitats. Tonight I’ll be doing a lot reading about alligators and their behavior so I know what to expect.”

  “How long are you going to be gone?” I tried to keep the emotion that was building in me out of my voice.”

  “I should be back late Thursday.”

  “You know I’m taking Tammy to the doctor on Wednesday.”

  “I really appreciate your helping Tammy. I don’t know if I could do it.”

  “It’s not something she should do alone, at least the first time. I don’t mind.” Thinking to myself, I added that it was more important to go photograph some stupid alligators than go to the doctor with your daughter. I inwardly huffed to myself.

  Michael let the conversation drop and we drove in silence after all. When we arrived at the park, I looked for Don since I needed to warm up my arm.

  Don started throwing the ball to me. “Hey, Miss movie star, are you going to take your sunglasses off?”

  I had not forgotten that I was wearing them. I put them in my bag and knew immediately that Don could see my puffy eyes. His face changed to concern and his arm slipped around my shoulders. “There is something major wrong Elizabeth, what is it?”

  “Nothing.” I choked back a sob.

  “Do you want me to get Debi?” He led me to a bench and we sat down.

  “No. I’ll be alright.” I was going to lose it
quickly if the questions continued.

  “Is it Kevin?”

  I shook my head. “No. Really Don, I’ll be okay.” I tried sniffing back a tear.

  “I’m going to get Debi.” He stood up before I had a chance to object and strode off looking for his wife. Poor Don, he never did well when I cried. Well, whenever anyone cried. I sat on the bench waiting and was glad that the park was not full of people.

  “Hey darling,” Debi came up behind me and put her arms around me. “Don told me you’re in a world of hurt.” She took one look at my face, “Oh damn, what has Kevin done now?”

  I shook my head and started crying, “It’s not Kevin.”

  “Well, those are man tears,” she said and then paused, “Michael? Debi asked slowly, “What happened?”

  I explained Michael’s change in attitude toward me. She looked as perplexed as I felt. “I don’t get it Elizabeth, you two were quite cozy Friday night at the bonfire.”

  “And we had a great day yesterday and last night, even after I put the brakes on the make out session. He is just not interested in me anymore because I won’t sleep with him. So I guess that’s all he wanted.”

  Debi took my hand in hers, “I just can’t believe this. I don’t know Michael as well as you, but he just doesn’t seem the type. Especially with all the women around here after him, did you see his fan club is here again? If all he wanted was to sleep with someone there are plenty of women to take him up on that offer.”

  I turned to face Debi. “What other explanation is there? He’s turning a cold shoulder to me and he’ll pursue someone else.” My tears were coming faster. “Could you take me home right after the game? I don’t want to drive home with Michael.”

  “Sure. Let me get Don so you can warm up. Wear your sunglasses, and no one will suspect you’ve been crying.”

  The game was horrible. I avoided Michael as much as I could; both Debi and Angel huddled around me when we were in the dugout. My pitching was terrible and Lewis made several trips out to the mound to talk with me. Finally, I told him that I was not well and he replaced me with Angel.