by C. J. Corbin
He stared at me his eyes squinting and said through his teeth, “I am not going anywhere.”
I walked back into the bedroom. “Oh yes you are. You need to get on with your life.”
He followed me into the bedroom closing the door behind him. “You are an important part my life Elizabeth.”
Ignoring him, I walked over to the bed and straightened out the covers. I turned to look at him. He still stood by the door with a look of frustration on his face.
“Look Michael, when Kevin attacked me my life changed. I’m not the same person I was, I’m somehow darker. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s the nightmares. I just keep reliving it over and over. I need to get past this and I think I have to do it alone.”
“What are you going to do?” The angry expression grew on his face.
His face almost made me crumble. I couldn’t handle any more irritated men. Angry at me for what? I could feel tears welling in my eyes.
“I think I need to go away for awhile.”
Michael’s anger lashed out, “There you go Elizabeth, running away again.”
I looked at him shocked. I wasn’t running away, no I was just going to leave for a bit to sort out things. That wasn’t running away.
“Damn, Elizabeth, I am sorry I didn’t get to you sooner. I’m sorry you had to go through the violence and the abuse. If I only would have realized that the lights were off, I could have gotten to you before the attack.” He ran his hands through his hair pacing back and forth.
“Michael, the attack wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know. You did save me. I don’t blame you for this.” I said sitting on the bed feeling horrid that he would blame himself.
Michael walked across the room and stood in front of me, his voice harsh. “Then why are you punishing me Elizabeth?”
I looked up at him, tears running down my face. “Michael…I’m not…” I paused as his words started to sink in. What was happening here? Did I blame Michael for what had happened to me?
“That’s what you need to figure out Elizabeth.” He turned for the door. When he opened the door to walk out, “I’m going to help your sister. Let me know Elizabeth.”
I collapsed back on the bed the tears running down my cheeks. Lisa came in briefly about an hour later to say goodbye. She told me she had left sandwiches in the refrigerator for lunch and she was sure Michael would make a nice dinner for me. I wasn’t too sure about her last statement. Michael didn’t come into my room to say goodbye. I didn’t know if he would even be back. We hugged and kissed and she was gone.
Alone in my cabin for the first time since the assault it felt strange to me. There were no voices and it was completely quiet. I started a fire in the fireplace and it began to rain. The weather turned stormy and I regretted that the storm probably caught Michael too. I ate one of the sandwiches Lisa had made and drank a glass of milk.
After eating, I went back to bed. Everything was so quiet. Finally relaxing, I fell back asleep. When I awoke, it was dark outside. Someone had turned on a small light in the corner of my room. I wondered who did. Walking into the living room answered my question. Michael was lying on the couch covered up with my quilt. His clothes were on the arm of the couch and he slept soundly. I knelt down in front of him and watched him sleep. His face was peaceful and beautiful. I was ashamed that it had never occurred to me what he had gone through when I was injured. My dad was right I was very selfish. Annie was right too, I had never considered Michael’s feelings.
How could I consider leaving this man? What was the matter with me? I was nuts to throw everything away. At that moment, I knew I could never leave him. I loved him too deeply. To leave him would be a pain I would never be able to bear. Moreover, his love for me knew no bounds. He had put up with my family and most of all with me. He had brought me back from the brink of hell. Michael had saved me in many ways. Before I could control myself, I stroked his face tenderly.
His eyes fluttered open. “Elizabeth, are you okay?”
“Yes, my wonderful man. I am just fine.” I kissed him and his lips responded to me quickly.
He sat up and pulled me into his lap. We kissed for what seemed like ages. Michael’s hands roamed my body gently as I nestled into his neck.
“Michael,” I whispered softly, “I need you to do something for me.”
“Anything Babe, you know that.” He answered.
I sat up and caught his face between my hands. I kissed him and ran my tongue across his mouth gently probing his heat. “I need to remove the remembrance of Kevin’s hands on my body. I need you to do it…” I faltered a bit. “I need you to make love to me.”
Michael didn’t answer me. He lifted me in his arms while he stood up from the couch. Carrying me into the bedroom, he laid me gently on the bed. As he took me tenderly in his arms, he quietly took the pain in my soul away.
chapter forty-seven
Christmas came quickly. Michael, Tammy, and I had a quiet celebration. Tammy had decorated the house, made it festive for us while I put the final changes on my book, and at last sent it off to my publisher.
Michael and I spent New Year’s Eve alone together since Tammy was down at Stanford with Jason. Friends sent us invitations to parties, but I preferred a brief toast alone with Michael at midnight. Michael had already made plans for us to fly to New Orleans to celebrate Mardi Gras in February with Tommy and Marie and of course Nancy and Marcus would be there too. Michael surprised me with a vintage dress and the trip to New Orleans as a Christmas present.
We started to settle into the routine we had established before Thanksgiving. I reveled in the winter days with Michael and although I wasn’t yet up to jogging, we would take long walks together by the lake with the dogs. My strength was coming back slowly though I still tired easily.
One activity we did not limit. We spent the long winter nights in bed. Tammy would just roll her eyes, as we would drift off into the bedroom early in the evening. She said we were boring like an old married couple. Her comment made the two of us laugh because it was anything but boring.
Michael still went out on a regular basis up on Mount Mintock looking for eagles. He postponed our book until I felt better. I knew we would start it up again soon and I found Michael working on his eagle pictures often.
Several weeks after the New Year’s holiday, Michael and I visited our favorite Italian restaurant down in Ashley. I ate too much food, but Michael always enjoyed watching me eat. I knew I had eaten too much because the next morning I had to run for the bathroom to vomit. The nausea was strange because once I emptied the contents of my stomach I felt fine and was ready to eat breakfast.
The next morning when the nausea repeated and the bout of vomiting followed, I was sure I had caught some stomach flu. The flu was going around and it looked like it had latched itself onto me. The nausea made me tired so I spent most of the day in bed.
By the third morning, I knew something was wrong. I had never been sick like this, and I knew a doctor’s visit was in order. Fortunately, they had an opening and I drove into Mintock that afternoon.
Doctor Helga came into the room. “So you’ve got the flu?”
I nodded. “Yeah past three mornings I’ve been nauseated and vomiting. But I feel better right afterwards.”
“Okay.” She said, putting her stethoscope against my back. “Breathe in, and out.”
I followed her instructions. She looked at the thermometer. “Are you able to eat afterwards?”
I nodded again. “Oh yes, I’m usually very hungry.”
“When was your last period Elizabeth?” She asked looking at my eyes.
I thought back, I realized it had been sometime. “The end of November.”
“You haven’t had a period since the end of November?” She asked.
“No. I figured with the attack it probably just skipped a month.”
“Could you be pregnant?”
I looked at her with wide eyes. “No, of course not. You know I can’t get
pregnant.”
“Elizabeth, you have always said that, I haven’t.” She replied coolly. “Are you having unprotected sex with Michael?”
“Well yes.” I said slowly.
“Well then, I think you’re pregnant.”
“What? How?” I stuttered out. My mind started swimming. I didn’t know what to think.
“I would hope you know the how Elizabeth.” Dr. Helga replied. She had me lie back on the table and she performed a quick exam. “We’ll do a blood test to confirm. But, let’s use this first.” She pulled out a home pregnancy test from the drawer. “Go pee on the stick and let’s see what it says.”
I took the test from her and went off into the bathroom. As I waited in the examining room for the results, I flashed back to Kevin’s attack. He had told me that the doctor lied and Kevin had been giving me birth control pills. Could it be true?
Dr. Helga joined me back in the examination room. “Congratulations. I would say you are about six weeks pregnant and what you are experiencing is morning sickness. It should pass as you hit three months, but some women are unfortunate and have it during their whole pregnancy.”
I looked at her and she had a bit of a smirk on her face. My mind was reeling. How could I be pregnant? What would I tell Michael? How would I tell Michael? He had just remarked that he finally got his last daughter into college and now he had his life back. He was not going to want to start all over again with a new family.
Doctor Helga sensed my confusion. “I know you didn’t expect this honey,” she patted my hand, “but I know you have always wanted to have a child. Everything will be fine. The nurse will contact you to set up your prenatal care routine.”
I was glad that Michael was out when I arrived back home. I needed to think. I needed to make a plan. I didn’t want to panic but it was quickly taking me over. After dinner, I went to bed complaining that I was tired and feeling ill. When Michael came to bed, I cuddled up in his arms, felt so safe, and so loved that night. As he lay next to me, spooning me and holding me against him, his hand lay over my womb as if he was cradling our baby. I knew all this would be ending soon. I spent the whole night knowing that I had to tell him the news soon.
The next morning Michael was up early and in the kitchen eating breakfast when I came out to join him after my heaving session in the bathroom.
“Hey, sleepy head. Are you feeling any better this morning?”
I nodded. Actually, I was miserable. Sleep had avoided me most of the night but I put on a happy face for Michael since he appeared to be in such a good mood.
“I have a surprise for you. We are going to take a little field trip today up to Mt. Mintock. The weather looks like it is going to be sunny for us. Do you feel up to it?” He had such a delighted smile on his face that I couldn’t bear to disappoint him.
“Okay.” I nodded. I would tell him right after we returned from the trip.
We dressed warmly. Although it would be sunny, the air was still cold and would be colder still on the mountain. We parked in the usual spot off the utility road.
“Are we going to the tree stand?” I asked as we headed through the forest in that direction.
Michael took my hand in his and nodded. “Yup. I’ve been waiting to show you this until you recovered. I made everyone promise not to say a word to you.”
“What?” I asked now my curiosity was peaked.
“You’ll see.” He had a big grin on his face and was almost beside himself in excitement.
When we arrived at the tree stand, I looked around and didn’t see anything unusual. I looked up at the old eagles nest and took a deep breath when I saw a little white head pop up. “Oh Michael,” I grabbed his arm, “is she back? Is Ethel back?”
Michael smiled and hugged me closely. “Do you think you can climb up the tree stand?”
I nodded. The strength had come back in my arms since my ribs and shoulder had healed. I went up first and Michael followed me. He handed me the binoculars. There she was, sitting in the nest. “Michael, why is she sitting like that?”
Michael grinned at me again, “There’s another surprise.” He pointed to the sky and I put the binoculars down. “Look there.” He pointed to an eagle flying above the lake.
I looked at him in amazement. “She found another mate?”
He smiled and held me closely. “Yes.” He whispered. “And the reason she is sitting in the nest is because she is sitting on eggs. Her new mate is out hunting food for her.”
I looked at him and he had tears in his eyes. “Eggs?” I asked.
Michael was beaming. “She came back to us,” he whispered into my ear. While he held me, he reached into his pocket. I looked down and he had a small black box in his hand. “Elizabeth, will you…”
I placed my hand over his mouth to stop him. “Michael, before you say it, please wait a moment. I need to tell you something and you may regret your question.”
He looked at me with puzzled eyes. He eyes were so blue today and I knew I wouldn’t be seeing them much longer. I lowered my hand and took a deep breath. I didn’t know how to say it so I just blurted it out.
“Michael, I’m pregnant.”
Michael closed his eyes and then opened them slowly. He eyes looked as if he saw me for the first time.
I continued to blurt out, “I know you’re ready to start your life with Tammy going off to school in a few weeks. You can be in the baby’s life as much as you want. I hope you would want that, but I would understand if you don’t want that. We’ll live next door to you and if you wanted to move away I would understand that too.” I stammered.
I didn’t know what else to say. Michael was being so quiet.
“You’re keeping our baby?” He asked.
“Of course. I wouldn’t…” I stopped and hung my head down. I ran my hand lightly over my abdomen feeling comforted knowing our baby was there. We would be all right, the baby and I together.
Michael lifted my head with his hands and held my face. “Why would you ever think I wouldn’t be absolutely thrilled with this news? Elizabeth I love you madly. I cannot live without you every day. Besides giving me your love, you are giving me the greatest gift I could have ever asked. You are giving me our baby. I don’t know how this miracle happened but I am not going to question it.”
“But,” I could feel tears running down my cheek, “you said you’d be happy to be starting your life.”
Michael smiled and kissed the falling tears on my face, “I would be happy to be starting it with you my love. That is what I said. I am starting my life with you. Now let me get back to my question.”
He carefully pulled the diamond ring out of the box and placed it on my left finger. It felt so right there, as if it had always belonged.
“Elizabeth, will you make me the happiest man in this world and become my wife?” He asked, his eyes staring into mine.
“Yes Michael.” I gazed up into his sky blue eyes and knew they would always be mine, forever.
This was … the beginning.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
C. J. Corbin is an author and published wildlife photographer. When she’s not in front of her laptop, she is looking through the lens of her camera to capture the perfect shot. C. J. lives in Southern California with her dad and her two cocker spaniels, Samantha and Cooper. She relaxes by blasting alternative rock music through her headset and by spending time with people she loves.
Her photography can be found on her website at www.CJCorbin.com
