by S. J. West
I suppose, in a way, Millie has always been cast in the role of a mother figure in my life. My papa was always there for me when I needed someone to hold me or teach me, but Millie took care of my day to day needs without ever asking for anything for herself. She not only provided me with the basic things in life like food and clothing, but she was also a friend to a lonely little girl who had few people she could play with. Millie was the one I went to as a child if I scraped my knee or needed someone to play tea party with me. She was always there when I needed her.
If there was anyone in this world I could entrust Lucas' safety to, it was Millie. I knew she would not only keep him out of harm's way, but protect him from watching anything Levi might do to tear them down. I prayed Levi didn't torture Vala in front of Lucas, but then again, why wouldn't he? He was the worst person I knew, and I hoped I would be the one who ended his life just so I could put an end to his madness. But, I had to admit to myself that there was a small part of me who would gain pleasure from his pain. I tried to quell the murderous side of me seeking revenge, but it seemed impossible.
Once Linn was finished sewing the slit of my jacket up, she walked around the table to help me put it back on.
“Thank you,” I tell her, zipping the front of it up. It was a small action but one that made me acutely aware of Malcolm’s absence even more.
It took me back to that little beach house where he showed me how to use the zipper for the very first time. It was something I could have figured out on my own, but I wanted him closer and it seemed like a logical thing to ask him to demonstrate. I can almost feel his arms around me now as I think back to that moment. It takes everything in me not to phase back to him. But, I know Levi would keep true to his word and kill my father if I did. I simply had to be patient and bide my time until the trade could be made.
“Don't look so sad,” Linn tells me, obviously seeing my sudden melancholy. “You will get them all back soon.”
“I think I might have just the thing to perk you up,” Jered says to me, rising from his seat at the table to come stand beside me.
“What do you have in mind?” I ask, curious to know what Jered might think would brighten my mood.
“And ruin the surprise?” Jered asks like I should know better than that by now.
Daniel stands from the table and comes over to give me a hug.
“Try to get some rest,” he tells me like a concerned father. “Malcolm would tear us apart if he thought we didn’t take good care of you in his absence.”
I smile at the reminder of Malcolm’s protective side and hope I can experience it again for myself soon.
All I needed to do was get through the next few hours. Then, I could have my family back and possibly find just a little bit of peace, for a time at least.
I knew once we let the princes roam free that our work would just be beginning. The thought of that eventuality should have frightened me. I had no way of knowing what they would do with their new found freedom. I would have to assume they wouldn’t be in the best of moods after there long sojourn.
“I’ll try,” I promise Daniel.
Linn leans over and kisses me on the cheek.
“If you ever need anything, just let us know.”
Jered holds out his arm for me to take.
“Ready for the last surprise of the day?” He asks me.
I nod, feeling tired all of a sudden and hoping wherever it is Jered plans to take us it will have a nice, comfortable bed.
Jered phases us to a room that looks similar to the study Malcolm had in his Lakewood home. The dark, polished wood walls are actually built in shelves which are lined neatly with a variety of leather bound volumes. A large wood desk of the same style sits in front of a bank of bay windows with a maroon leather chair to sit in behind it.
“Where are we?” I ask, as I let my tired mind soak in the details of the room, which makes me feel like I’m surrounded by little bits of Malcolm everywhere I look.
“This is Malcolm’s home in New Orleans.”
I look over at Jered. “Was it safe to just phase here? Levi will know where we are.”
Jered shrugs looking completely unconcerned. “I don’t think it matters. It's not like he doesn't know about this place. We have to wait somewhere until we can do the trade. I figured here was as good a place as any. Plus, it’s filled with Malcolm’s possessions which is something I think you need around you right now. It’s the best I can do without actually bringing Malcolm to you.”
I smile at Jered, marveling at how well he has come to know me in such a short period of time.
“Thank you,” I tell him. “It’s just what I need.”
Jered grins, obviously pleased that he could help me, even if it was only by such a small gesture.
“Why don’t you take a look around? I need to go speak with Malcolm’s butler, Giles, and let him know we’re here. Are you hungry?”
“I could use something to eat,” I admit, even though satiating such a small necessity forms a knot of guilt in the pit of my stomach. I’m certain Malcolm isn’t being offered water much less food. My kiss has probably worn off by now too. I pray his body had time to heal the majority of the damage done to his back by Levi’s whip before he woke up.
“I won’t be gone long,” Jered tells me as he heads for the door in the room and strolls out.
As I walk around Malcolm’s study, I run the tips of my fingers against the leather bound volumes lining his bookshelves. I feel as though I’m getting to know him a little better even though he isn’t physically with me. It’s apparent books are very important to him since he keeps so many nearby. There isn’t a single place in the room where I can’t imagine Malcolm being.
I can easily visualize him standing by any of these bookcases thumbing through the pages of a book. I can imagine him sitting behind his desk writing a correspondence or turned around in his chair peering thoughtfully out at the city outside his window. I notice two wing back chairs sitting across from a matching sofa in front of the unlit fireplace and recognize something very familiar, a chessboard. It’s the same type of holographic board he had in his Lakewood home. I sit down in one of the chairs and run my hand over it, instantly conjuring up the holograms representing the black and white pieces.
I hear two sets of footfalls approaching the room and run my hand over the board again to turn it off. I stand from the chair just as Jered enters with Malcolm’s butler coming in right behind him.
When Jered said he was going to talk to Giles the butler, for some reason I envisioned an elderly man with white hair and a stiff demeanor. The man walking by Jered’s side exhibits neither of those traits. He’s handsome and looks to be in his late twenties or early thirties. Giles has a serious look about him but not one that is off putting. His short hair and intense eyes are both brown. The mustache and goatee on his face are neatly trimmed, and he’s wearing casual clothing consisting of a dark blue cable knit sweater, blue jeans and black rubber boots that reach up to his knees.
“Giles,” Jered says as they come to stand in front of me, “I would like to introduce you to Empress Anna.”
Giles bows at the waist to me. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Empress.”
I hold my hand out to Giles. He looks surprised by the gesture but doesn’t make a big deal out of it.
As he shakes my hand I say, “It’s nice to meet you, Giles. Though, I have to admit when Jered said you were Malcolm's butler I was expecting someone much older.”
Giles grins like this is something he’s heard others say before.
“My family has served Malcolm for a very long time, your majesty. I simply inherited the job from my father like he did from his father and so on.”
“Please, Giles, just call me Anna. I have a feeling you and I will be around each other a lot in the coming years. It's good to know Malcolm has had people who have taken such good care of him for that long.”
“We’ve tried our best, Anna,” Giles r
eplies with a smile. I think he feels privileged that I'm allowing him to be so informal with me. “Jered said you would like something to eat. Are you hungry for anything in particular?”
“Just something light. I don’t have much of an appetite, but my stomach feels like it might rebel against the rest of my body if I don’t feed it soon. Something quick and easy will do. So, please, don’t put yourself out on my account.”
Giles bows to me again. “I’ll be right back. Something quick and easy coming up.”
Giles walks out of the room, and I look over at Jered.
“Why was he wearing those boots? He looked like he was about to go wading in a river or something.”
“He was in the stables cleaning out the horse stalls when I found him,” Jered says as his eyes look down at the chessboard. “Do you play?”
“I can play well enough to lose all the time,” I say with a sigh of disappointment in myself. Then, I have a brilliant idea. “Do you happen to be any good at it?”
“Yes,” Jered says with a small smile. “Anyone who spends much time around Malcolm picks up a thing or two about the game.”
“Do you think you could teach me some strategy so I can be better?” I ask eagerly. “I want to be able to play with Malcolm without losing within a few short minutes. I think it disappoints him to not have an opponent who provides a challenge.”
“I can definitely try my best to teach you what I know,” Jered says, sitting in the chair he’s standing by while I retake my previous seat.
Jered and I play for a while until Giles brings some food for us to eat. The meal is a basic one of beef stew with carrots and potatoes. He also brings up a plate of biscuits with some sweet tea to wash it all down with. I surprise myself by eating everything Giles brought up for me. I realize I must have been hungrier than I thought.
“You should probably get some rest,” Jered tells me after we eat. “We have a few hours yet before we have to meet Levi for the trade, and I have a few details I need to work out before we meet with him anyway.”
“Do you think you're plan will work?” I ask, already knowing what Jered and the others were planning to do to ensure we got everyone back safely.
“I have no reason to believe it won't,” he replies. “Come on. You look dead on your feet. You need to get some sleep before the trade.”
Jered escorts me to a bedroom a few doors down from the study. As soon as I step into it, I know it’s Malcolm’s personal bedroom.
“I thought you might like to stay in his room,” Jered tells me. “I know Malcolm would want you to.”
“Thank you,” I say as I walk further into the space, feeling Malcolm’s presence surround me like a warm blanket.
“I’ll come and wake you if you aren’t already up when it’s time to meet Levi,” Jered promises me.
“All right. Thank you, Jered.”
Jered closes the door, and I’m left alone in Malcolm’s bedroom.
It’s a large room, but it has to be to accommodate the massive four poster bed sitting against the left wall. The bed looks fit for a king with its hand carved wood frame and canopy. Heavy gold and maroon drapes are bunched at all four corners but look like they could be easily drawn together if the occupant lying inside wanted some privacy. I see that Giles has been in the room already because there is a roaring fire in the fireplace providing the space a warmth that is soothing. He must have thought I would want to change into something more comfortable to sleep in also. What I have to assume is one of Malcolm’s shirts is lying on the turned down bed covers.
I walk over and pick the blue button down shirt up, bringing it to my nose and inhaling its just laundered freshness. I quickly shed my clothes and put it on. It’s too big for me, of course, but it almost makes me feel like Malcolm is holding me. After I slip underneath the covers, I wrap my arms around one of the big, fluffy pillows there and pretend that I’m holding Malcolm instead. I don’t find sleep right away. As I look around the room, I notice something white peeking out from underneath a book on the nightstand beside the bed. I reach out a hand and pull on the sheet of paper.
It’s a hand written letter, and I notice Malcolm’s signature scrawled at the bottom of it. Just as I’m about to return it to its rightful place, not wanting to intrude into his privacy, I happen to glance up to the top of the letter and see that it’s addressed to me. I immediately sit straight up in the bed and begin to read it.
Dear Anna,
We met for the first time tonight and the experience has left me shattered. I’m sitting here in my bed wondering what you’re doing, wondering if you’re thoughts are centered on me as mine are on you, and wondering if I should return to you because not being by your side is tearing me apart. My mind is racing with the implications of our connection and sleep alludes me. I find it almost impossible to believe that someone I’ve refused to even look at all these years is actually my soul mate. How could I have been such a fool for so long? Yet, perhaps our meeting was destined to be put off until now.
I can’t help but think you deserve a man better than me to give your love to, and I don’t understand why my father would have you settle for someone with such a checkered past.
I’ve done some terrible things in my time, Anna. I’ve tortured those who didn’t deserve it. I’ve killed for sport and menaced the innocent just to see them cower in fear of me. There are literally thousands of sins that I’ve committed over the years that I had to earn forgiveness for. But, no matter how much good I do, it never seems like enough to make up for the horrors I’ve perpetrated in my past.
You are a chance at a new beginning for me, a new life. A war is raging inside me right now as I try to decide whether or not to simply accept the gift of you or to turn away from this opportunity and force you to find someone who is more worthy of your love. I feel as though I owe you the opportunity to find happiness with someone else because I’m not completely sure you will ever find it with me. I am not an easy man to get along with. Hell, most of the time I don’t even like myself. How could I expect you to love someone who can’t even do something as simple as that?
I have a feeling my father wants me to take a leap of faith with you. I’m simply not sure I’m strong enough to do that. I have a lot to work out first, and you shouldn’t have to be a part of that. I feel sorry for you in a way. I feel sorry that you got stuck with someone like me for a soul mate. I can’t imagine you’ve done anything in your life to deserve such a miserable fate. I’m not even sure why I’m writing a letter that I have no intention of ever letting you see. I suppose I just needed to find some way to work through my conflicting emotions and sort out what I truly feel and think.
I never thought I could love anyone more than Lilly.
But, Anna, I think I could love you a thousand times more…
Malcolm
I read the letter over and over until my eyes simply can’t stay open any longer. I fall into a blissful slumber, clutching Malcolm’s letter to my chest and drifting off to sleep with the promise of love from the strongest man I know.
Chapter 9
I wake with a start. As my eyes take in my environment, my mind readjusts to the fact that I’m in Malcolm’s bedroom and lying in his enormous four-poster bed. I still have the letter he wrote to me clutched firmly to my chest. I loosen my grasp on the missive and read the very last sentence again.
But, Anna, I think I could love you a thousand times more…
My heart sings with the joy those words bring, and they make me more determined to get my man back.
I quickly put my clothes on, leaving Malcolm’s shirt lying on the bed. I hope by that night’s end we’ll be sharing a bed together. I don’t care where it is. All I know is that I want to feel Malcolm’s arms holding me close. I need him to tell me everything will be all right and that things will work out as they should.
I still have doubts about handing Levi back his brothers. The smart thing to do would be to kill them all while we still have them, but
the results of such an act could destroy me in more ways than one. The simple fact was that it would be murder to kill the other princes while they were still in stasis. In time, I might be able to forgive myself for committing those murders, but I doubted it. In truth, it was the second reason that prompted me to go through with the deal the most. I would never be able to live with myself if Levi killed Lucas, Millie, or my papa because of my duplicity. His torture of Malcolm and execution of Vala was bad enough. Even if I gathered the seals from the princes now and finished God's mission, I would have paid too high a price to get the job done.
No, this was the right thing to do. And Jered’s back-up plan to guarantee we got back those we love should work.
As I strap the sword onto my back, I turn to leave the room but notice something else lying on Malcolm’s nightstand where I found the note. It’s the silver pin in the shape of a lily he wore the night of the wedding celebration. I pick it up and stare at it for a moment. It makes me wonder what happened to make Malcolm finally give me his heart. Or had he completely let Lilly go? I wasn’t sure. I do know one thing though. I know I have his love. I have absolutely no doubt about that fact. I put the pin back where I found it and leave the room.
Malcolm’s home in New Orleans is as large as any palace. I pass room after room as I make my way down the hallway until I come to one that catches my eye and makes me come to an abrupt halt. The door to this room is unlike any of the others because it’s been painted. I stare at the mural, trying to make out what I’m seeing within the gold, maroon, and dark blue hues. The longer I stare, the more images I’m able to make out buried within the painting itself by a skilled hand to make them appear as a cohesive whole, instead of simple portraits which stand out on their own. I see the faces of my Watcher protectors and reach out a hand when I find Malcolm’s visage at the center of them all. I look down the length of the door. Hidden away near the bottom, like the painter didn’t want anyone to notice it readily, was an image of Lucifer.
