“I won’t,” Scott said, and shook his hand.
“We have a present for you,” Kay said. “The city council had an emergency meeting yesterday, and they unanimously voted for you to have a month off with pay so you can take a honeymoon.”
“What!” Maggie said.
“Really?” Scott said.
“About damn time,” Patrick said.
Melissa elbowed him.
“As a reward for your many years of dedicated service for low pay and very little time off,” Kay said. “I felt so bad that we couldn’t give you more time off when your mother was ill. It is the least we can do, and we’re glad to do it.”
“Who are you going to get to cover for me?”
“Chief Purcell,” Kay said. “It works out perfectly. He has a month before he starts in Pendleton, so he can cover for you until you get back.”
“Why is he leaving Familysburg?” Maggie asked. “His dad was the chief there for a billion years.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t heard about it,” Kay said. “During this happy occasion, let’s just say it’s a family matter, and that he’s leaving for personal reasons.”
“You know all about it, don’t you?” Maggie said to Scott.
“He called me when he resigned,” Scott said. “I told him I’d keep it in confidence.”
“Thank you, Kay, Sal,” Maggie said. “Although what I’ll do with him underfoot for a month, and how we’ll keep him from bugging Chief Purcell to death, I don’t know.”
“No need,” Sal said, as he pulled some keys out of his pocket, and with a trembling hand, gave them to Scott. “Be my guest.”
He waved at Kay to explain while he sat back and caught his breath.
“Sal and Antonia have a condo in Myrtle Beach,” Kay said. “They want you to stay there for the month and have a real honeymoon.”
Melissa clapped her hands and Patrick said, “Sweet.”
“You’re kidding me,” Maggie said. “Not really.”
“Yes, really,” Kay said. “You must leave tomorrow, and you are not to step one foot back in Rose Hill for thirty days or I will have Chief Purcell arrest you both.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Scott said.
His heart felt as if it were full to overflowing.
Kay hugged him again, and then hugged Maggie as well.
“We just love you two so much, and we’re so happy for you,” she said. “You deserve this honeymoon.”
Scott shook Sal’s hand and the older man gestured for him to come closer. Scott bent down and Sal said in his ear, “Remember, a happy wife means a happy life.”
“I won’t forget,” Scott said. “Thank you.”
Claire retrieved her handbag from the ladies’ lounge. Ed followed her to a quiet spot down at the end of a dark hallway near the Sunday school rooms. Claire’s heart was pounding as she unwrapped the test stick. She held her breath as she looked. It was negative. Tears sprang to her eyes. Up until that moment she hadn’t realized how much she wanted it to be positive.
“Aren’t you relieved?” Ed asked. “You seem kind of disappointed.”
“Upstairs, just a few minutes ago, I advised you to see me as I really am,” she said. “Now, here I am downstairs, wanting to hide things from you that aren’t flattering.”
“I think I understand,” Ed said. “Are you worried about fertility?”
“Please don’t ever use that word again,” Claire said.
“I’m sorry,” Ed said. “I’m out of my element here.”
“I thought my life was going to be like a movie. I’ve been looking for the perfect setting, the perfect leading man, and the perfect script. Meanwhile, it seems the theater may have fallen into disrepair.”
“I’m no expert,” Ed said. “But I do know Sam’s mother had him when she was well into her forties. He was a big surprise to them.”
“I know that, and there’s a chance I could be wrong about what’s going on with me,” she said. “And I am relieved. I wouldn’t want to be tied to the man who would have been the father.”
“Is he out of your movie?” Ed asked.
“Yes,” Claire said. “The script has evolved into more of a dramedy, and he is a little too Shakespeare-in-the-Park.”
“So this false alarm may have been a good thing,” Ed said. “It helped validate a feeling you were having about what you want and with whom you want it.”
“It’s scary being so honest,” she said.
“Scary feels just like excited,” Ed said. “It’s all in your perspective.”
They returned to the fellowship hall just as the song, “Irish Heartbeat,” by Van Morrison, began playing. Patrick, Hannah, Sam, Scott, and Maggie were all sitting at a table, loudly singing along, as if they had done so many times before. Hannah was sitting on Sam’s lap, Patrick had his arms around Melissa, and Scott was holding Maggie’s hand.
Looking at them, Claire was suddenly struck by the extent of her loss. She had missed out on so many things that her family and friends had done or gone through together; the good and the bad. These were the people she loved most in the world, and while they knew each other very well, they really didn’t know who she was beyond the nineteen-year-old Claire who left Rose Hill twenty years before, and the older version, who couldn’t be bothered to visit more than once every few years.
In her mind, she had kept them trapped in amber, which was both immature and unfair on her part. They were all fully grown adult people, molded by their experiences and their reactions to what life had handed them. Why be upset that they didn’t know what kind of music she liked to listen to, or who she had become, when it was her fault they didn’t get the chance to know?
“This is a good song for us to dance to,” Ed said, as he offered his hand to her.
“How come?”
“You need to stay a while with your own ones,” he said.
Claire accepted his proffered hand, and they danced; her hands on his shoulders, his arms around her waist, just like two kids at their senior prom. Claire was not feeling the way she thought she would at the celebration she had worked so hard to put together. She thought she should be thrilled it came off as well as it did, and be happy to sing along with the rest of them. Instead, she felt the same sort of melancholy she had felt many times before, when she was thousands of miles away from Rose Hill, lonely and miserable, in a foreign place.
“While I was away,” Claire said, “I often felt homesick. Now that I’m home, why do I still feel that way?”
“Saudade,” Ed said. “It’s a Portuguese word for the deep longing you feel for something you can’t quite name. There’s also a German term, Sehnsuch, or you could use the Russian term Toska, which means deep spiritual anguish without a specific cause.”
“Do you ever feel that way?”
“Anytime I’m alone and start ruminating; I think most people do.”
“In other words, everyone feels this way,” Claire said. “Not just me.”
“Probably,” Ed said. “Although if you’ve lost something or someone you cared very much about, that would be a good reason. I used to think mine was about being abandoned by my mother, and then by Eve. Now I think it’s just part of being human; we all long for a feeling of belonging and being loved, and it’s impossible to feel that way every single moment.”
“I’d settle for one moment,” Claire said. “I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that way where it turned out to be true. Look at Maggie and Scott; they’re as meant to be together as anyone I know, but it will never be smooth sailing, even for them. I guess there is no perfect love.”
“Then here’s a good word for you,” Ed said. “Wabi-Sabi. It’s Japanese.”
“Sounds like a spicy drink,” Claire said. “What does it mean?”
“Finding beauty in imperfection.”
“You’re just a big ole bucket of nerdiness, aren’t you?”
“I prefer to think of myself as cerebrally well-endowed.”
; “I always knew you were smart,” Claire said. “When we were growing up, if I had a vocabulary word to define, or an essay I had to write, it was you I went to.”
“I like to collect words; untranslatable words, terms for groups of things. For instance, did you know a group of starlings is a ‘murmuration’?”
“That’s pretty,” Claire said. “Tell me another one.”
“A group of owls is a ‘parliament.’”
“I can see that,” Claire said. “Is there a word for the feeling that you may have waited too late to start living your ‘real’ life?”
“Hmmm,” Ed said. “The Germans have a term, Torschlusspanik, which may cover that. It’s the fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages.”
“Well, I’ve got panic all up in my torschluss,” Claire said. “Real bad.”
“I guess it’s worse for women, what with the biological aspect,” Ed said. “On behalf of my gender, I’d like to sincerely apologize for the inequities of life. I also want to reassure you that in no way would the term ‘diminishing’ be used in any description I might use for you. On the contrary, I would use words like ‘luminous,’ ‘captivating,’ and ‘resplendent.’”
“Most excellent apology accepted,” Claire said. “What’s the word for the feeling you get when you’re dancing with someone for the first time, maybe someone you’ve known forever, but it still feels like you’ve just met, and you’re looking forward to whatever happens next, as long as it involves that person?”
“I don’t know,” Ed said. “But I’ve got it, too.”
Claire let herself breathe in this moment, which felt pretty darn miraculous.
“We have danced together before, you know, at Homecoming,” Ed said. “The song was “All I Want is You” by U-2. I remember you wore Doc Martins and a very Goth dress.”
“Ugh, another of my unfortunate fashion choices,” Claire said. “I’ve purposely blocked out most of my teenage years so I don’t have to remember what a mess I was.”
Just then Maggie pulled Claire away from Ed with a jerk.
“You’ll never guess what just happened,” Maggie said. “The city council, at the instigation of our good friend, Kay, just gave Scott four weeks off with pay to take a honeymoon.”
“That’s great news,” Claire said. “Where will you go?”
“I was just getting to that part,” Maggie said. “Sal Delvecchio has a condo in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and he gave Scott the keys.”
“The Redneck Riviera,” Ed said. “Boy howdy.”
Maggie ignored Ed.
“That’s so wonderful,” Claire said. “When will you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning,” Maggie said. “I have to go home and pack.”
“What about the party at the Thorn?” Ed said. “You can’t miss that. Scooter Scoley and his band are going to play.”
“Help me, Claire,” Maggie said. “I don’t even own a suitcase.”
“Go,” Ed said to Claire. “I’ll see you at the party later.”
“The first thing you have to do is throw the bouquet,” Claire said to Maggie. “Do not put me in a position where I have to explain to your mother why you didn’t do a traditional leave-taking.”
Claire announced the happy couple was about to leave. Everyone assembled on the front steps of the church, leaving a narrow aisle for them to walk through. Hannah, Melissa, and Claire handed out little net bags of birdseed that Delia had stayed up late the night before preparing. Once everyone was ready, Hannah held two fingers up to her mouth and whistled loudly. Maggie and Scott appeared at the top of the stairs in the doorway of the church.
“Get ready, girls,” Maggie said.
Hannah pushed Melissa and Claire out to the sidewalk, where they were joined by a few other single ladies. Maggie took one last look at where they were all standing, turned around, and flung the bouquet over her shoulder. The long satin ribbon fluttered behind it as the bouquet sailed through the air, bounced off several outstretched pairs of hands, none of which were Claire’s, and landed smack dab in Kay’s arms. Everyone laughed, and Kay offered the bouquet to the younger single ladies, but no one wanted a secondhand bouquet they didn’t catch fair and square.
“The bouquet has spoken,” Maggie called out to Kay. “You’re next.”
Kay blushed and rolled her eyes.
“The bouquet better send someone age-appropriate,” Kay replied. “Cause this town is sorely lacking in eligible men my age.”
The assembled guests tossed birdseed over the happy couple as they proceeded down the path to the street. After a kiss, a hug, and a good-bye pinch from Maggie’s mother, Scott helped Maggie into her jeep, which had the requisite tin cans attached to the back along with a sign that read, “Just Hitched.”
“Good job,” Claire said to Hannah.
“Sam and Sammy did that,” Hannah said. “Sammy took the job very seriously. He only wanted cans with red labels, he said to match Maggie’s hair.”
Claire could see Sam holding Sammy at the edge of the crowd, both waving to the couple as they drove away.
“Why are you crying?” Hannah asked Claire.
“I know we’re going to see them in a little bit,” Claire said, “But it still feels like we’re losing them somehow.”
Ed came up and put an arm around her.
“I was pulling for you on that bouquet thing,” he said. “I notice you didn’t even try.”
“I’ve got enough going on,” Claire said. “I was hoping Melissa would catch it.”
“Patrick says he’ll never get married,” Ed said.
“He felt very differently about Ava,” Claire said. “And everybody knows it. I wonder how that makes Melissa feel.”
“Maybe he’ll change his mind,” Ed said.
Ed watched the tail end of the jeep turn the corner at the end of Lilac Avenue.
“You know, I never understood what Scott saw in Maggie,” he said. “But I’m glad to see him so happy. I hope it works out.”
“It’s a mystery what attracts people to each other,” Claire said. “I think they’ll be as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Ed didn’t seem to hear what Claire said. She could tell by his eyes that he was already thinking about something else.
“Listen, I’ve got to go down to the office and work on the paper,” he said. “Do you mind? I’ll see you at the party later.”
“No problem,” Claire said. “I’ve got a lot to do before then.”
“I saw Scooter earlier,” Ed said. “He says he’s going to get you to sing tonight.”
“If I get drunk enough, I can do anything,” Claire said.
“I’m looking forward to that,” Ed said.
Claire went home to get a suitcase for Maggie to use, retrieve her phone, and change into some casual clothes for the after party. After she donned jeans and a brightly embroidered peasant blouse, she gratefully slipped her sore feet into her ballet flats, and took along a cardigan for the cool evening that would come later.
When she arrived at Maggie’s place, her cousin was in a panic, and Hannah was not helping.
“You’re gonna need a number one-hundred-and-eighty-seven sunscreen,” Hannah was saying. “Or you may as well wear a sign that says ‘future home of terminal skin cancer.’”
“Out of my way, amateurs,” Claire said. “I brought sunscreen and a hat. I also brought travel size bath gel, shampoo, and everything else you will need. You two change for the party and leave the packing to the travel expert.”
Claire went through Maggie’s closet full of clothes.
“You have a lot of men’s shirts in here,” Claire said. “Are they yours or Scott’s?”
“They’re mine,” Maggie said. “Women’s shirts all gap at the bust line and don’t cover my butt. Men’s are much more comfortable.”
“Admit it, you’re a cross-dresser,” Hannah said, “Just say it Maggie, there’s no shame in it.”
“But you’re the one wearing b
oy’s underwear,” Maggie said.
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it,” Hannah said. “I was agreeing with you, bridezilla.”
“Okay, ladies, cease and desist,” Claire said. “Be sure to text me the address of Sal’s condo and I’ll send you some clothes.”
“Text you on what?” Maggie said. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have a laptop, a tablet, or a fancy phone.”
“I keep forgetting how Amish you all are,” Claire said. “Call me with the address and I’ll send you a real phone and some new clothes.”
“Hey,” Hannah said. “I need some new clothes.”
“Yes, you do,” Claire said. “But how likely are you to wear what I pick out?”
“It would be kinda hard to crawl under a house to retrieve a possum in a tight skirt and heels,” Hannah said.
Claire picked out the most feminine-looking shirts and jeans she could find, while mentally shopping online for plus-sized tunic shirts and barely boot-cut tummy-control jeans.
“No Ava or Charlotte, I noticed,” said Maggie, as she bent over and Hannah pulled her dress off over her head.
“The official excuse is that Ava had B&B guests and Charlotte was needed to help,” Hannah said. “But everyone knows she just can’t stand to see Patrick with Melissa.”
“But Ava doesn’t want Patrick,” Claire said. “She dumped him.”
Maggie peeled off her stretchy shape-wear and flung it with force across the room. Claire tried not to take it personally.
“She may not want him, but she doesn’t want anyone else to have him, either,” Maggie said.
“Melissa and Patrick looked really sweet together,” Claire said. “You should have seen how he looked at her while she was walking up the aisle.”
“They’re living together in her trailer,” Hannah said. “Bonnie still tells people he lives at home with them, but everybody knows where he really sleeps every night.”
“Wear this,” Claire said to Maggie, while holding out an apple-green cotton sweater she had found on a shelf in Maggie’s closet.
“No, that was Gabe’s favorite sweater on me,” Maggie said, crossing her arms.
“Well, you’re married now, and there’s nothing Gabe can do about it,” Claire said. “Wear the sweater and break the spell, once and for all.”
Lilac Avenue Page 31
