I watch her climb, hand and hand, foot and foot, using the uneven protrusions of the rock. Following her movement, I didn’t realize how much upper body strength is needed in this. Realizing it’s easier for me to push myself up, I use my legs to step higher. I don’t feel the fun in this full-body workout, but it’s better than separating children and watching kiddy shows.
Carmen climbs beside me, pointing to a ledge where we can comfortably recline. This is much easier for her.
“Are you tired yet?” she asks, sitting next to me.
“Yes. But not exhausted.” I shake my arms out. “My muscles are just tight.”
She stretches. “It takes some getting used to I guess.”
“I’m more of a runner than a climber, but this can help relieve some stress.”
“It does. Especially when you do it like these adrenaline junkies.” She jerks her thumb towards one of the boys free falling down the mountain. Courtney shoots back up the moment he grabs on to it again.
“Oh yeah, I won’t be doing that. But if you want to go, I’ll wait here.”
“So Nathan can kill me?” She shakes her head. “Not a chance. I’ll wait with you until you’re ready to climb higher or until Nathan comes.”
“Sorry I’m slowing you down.”
“You’re not. It’s cool.” She scoots to the edge and lets her legs swing back and forth.
I stretch my neck so the sun can bathe my skin. “I’d climb all the way up here to tan in this sun. You must do this often.”
“Not as often as I’d like to. Just when we come over here.” She drags her gaze away from me to the view of the water in the distance. “It’s good Nathan has found you. You’re a good match for him. A nice down to Earth, understanding girl. Not a loud mouth. And you’re cute.”
“Thanks. I’ll be taking that as a compliment.”
“Yeah. You should see some girls my brother comes home with. It’s embarrassing.” She examines her fingernails, adding, “Carteal doesn’t bring girls home. But Courtney, it’s less likely you catching him without one.”
“I can imagine.”
“Do you have any siblings?”
“No, just me.”
“Be grateful for that too.”
Carmen is great company. She never brings up Glen and Scott or discusses anything uncomfortable. Our peaceful tête-à-tête only centers on the family, her brothers, and them being around Nathan’s house for the summer. She’s pretty mature but has a witty side about her that I like.
Nathan drops onto our ledge. “Thanks, Carmen.”
“Don’t thank me. It was fun.” She winks. “I’ll be back, Tracey.”
I nod, and she flips backward off the ledge.
Rock dust’s sprinkles off Nathan with every step he takes. “You having a good time?”
He wipes his hands on his pants. “Yes, I am actually.”
“Good. Came to keep me company or relieve Carmen from Tracey duty?” I joke.
“Both.” He sits beside me and pulls me under his sweaty arm. “You want me to climb you up the mountain? We can dive off and catch ourselves.”
“Umm, climbing me up the mountain, yes.” I shimmy from under his hot arm. “Catching ourselves . . . no, thank you.”
He lifts me on his back and jumps up from the ledge. Grabbing hold of the mountain with his sharp nails and hard hands, he climbs, reaching a much higher ledge.
“Hey, Tracey. Having fun?” Carteal asks, preparing to jump.
“Not as much fun as you,” I joke.
He smirks and throws himself off the edge.
I gasp, whipping around to Nathan.
“We could do that,” he offers.
“Absolutely not.”
“How do you think we’re going to get down?”
I cringe. I didn’t think about that. “Climb?”
“Nope, Sparks. We’re going to jump.” His hand finds the small of my back, and he spins me around to face him. “Thanks for always having my back.” He plants a kiss on the side of my head.
“Anytime.”
Courtney lands on the ledge. “Don’t do that stuff up here.” He shakes himself out and a dust cloud forms around him. “I’m getting jealous.”
“That won’t last for long,” Nathan retorts. “The moment you leave the house, you’ll return with a new sidekick.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” he says and flips off the mountain.
I rise on my tiptoes and tilt my head back. “You’ll be the first guy I’ve ever kissed on a mountain.”
“Good.”
“Ew!” Carmen fake-gags. “You two get a room.” I laugh at her crinkled nose and curled up lip. “Let’s head back. I’m dirtier than I’d like to be.”
“Are you going to jump off the mountain to the ground?” I ask her.
“A little. I’ll jump ledge to ledge until I’m comfortable with the height to the ground for my landing.”
I nod, looking back to Nathan.
“We can do that too, Sparks. Or I can run straight down the side.”
“That sounds scarier than jumping, watching the ground come toward us at full speed.”
He shrugs. “It is, but whichever you’d prefer.”
“Do the ledge to ledge jumping. I’ll deal with the turns of my stomach. If I barf on you, don’t get upset.”
“Please do not throw up on me.” He raises an eyebrow. “I might look at you differently.”
“You will not,” I sing, pushing his shoulder.
“I might not, but that would be nasty.”
I jump on his back. “Okay, I’m ready, Nate. Don’t kill us,” I joke.
He walks to the edge, saying, “Let’s do it.”
He leaps.
I bury my head in his neck, clenching my flipping stomach. Our first landing’s hard; the sound of Nathan’s boots meeting the rock is loud. He leaps again, and I hold my breath, waiting for another landing to shake our bodies. Excited hoots shout over the howling wind. Landing with another hard thud, it’s as unexpected as the first and still wracks my body. “Our next landing’s the ground, Sparks,” Nathan says, jumping. I keep my eyes closed, squeezing Nathan tighter. The fall sends my stomach into somersaults, giving me a major rush. We land roughly, and I drop off Nathan’s back, stumbling around. Nathan laughs, helping me catch my balance.
“I’m cool with the mountain climbing,” I say, holding my head, hoping the world stops shaking. “But the falling part, no.”
“Come on. I’ll run you home.”
Too dizzy to run back, I let Nathan carry me to the house.
“You want to go shopping, Tracey?” Carmen asks when we make it to the front yard.
Yes! I’d love that. “Nathan, is that okay?”
“Yeah, Sparky. Go enjoy yourself.”
I wince, realizing I’ve done it again. Discomfited, I push my hair back, turning to Carmen. “Yeah, I want to go,” I answer, shamed.
Her eyebrows rise in comprehension, then knit in an uneasy disapproval. “That’s got to be annoying.”
“You have no idea,” I say, relieved she’s not passing judgment as others do who witness the perks of my bond. I hate the dominance requirement of it.
Carmen shrugs. “Well, I guess you get used to it after a while.”
I shake my head. “They say that, but you don’t. This is later, and I’m still not used to it.”
Getting approval and asking permission is the worst part about being bonded. What’s crazy is that it’s okay until I realize it. What’s more messed up is when I do something without asking him first, I feel bad the entire time and my chest aches, like I’m kicking my own butt for not checking with my mate to see if I can go outside and plant flowers. I often think, oh, I should’ve asked Nathan if I could do this first. Or I hope Nathan would be okay with my going here. And the most annoying one, let me go back and ask Nathan if he doesn’t mind that I do this. This is so freaking belittling.
We head to the house, leaving the boys standing in t
he yard.
“Sparks,” Nathan calls. “Be careful and call if you need me. Carmen! Don’t do anything extra and let nothing happen to her.”
“I won’t, Nathan. Sheesh. She’s an adult. We’ll be back later.” A wryly smirk flitters across her face when she meets my eyes. “You don’t need to kiss him goodbye or ask Daddy for his credit card, do you?” she asks with her eyebrows high and hands out at her hips.
“You’re an ass for that,” I mock. But, now that she mentions it, I do need to tell him goodbye. Running to him, I roll my eyes, frustrated with myself. He wraps his arms around me, and I breathe him in, comforting my departure. “You know, that is really annoying,” I say.
“You know, that is what you signed up for,” he replies matter-of-factly.
“You know, being an ass is a flaw,” I fire back.
He kisses my forehead and smirks. “Go ahead, Sparks.” He smacks my butt. “I’ll see you when you get back.”
I rise on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
“Don’t forget the credit card, baby girl,” Carmen yells teasingly.
I flick fireballs from my thumb at her, and she scurries away from them, laughing. “I have my own money, smartass.”
conspicuous absence
Carmen and I take Nathan’s car to an outside mall near her house. Store hopping, she drags me into a boutique with the cutest clothes. I’ve not been shopping in forever.
“Do you think this is cute?” She holds up a peach-colored dress with ruffles at the bottom. With how small it looks, it’ll likely fit her tightly. But it’s cute.
“Yes. I like it. Try it on,” I say, pulling out a blue and white dress that’s probably just as tight. I also find a floral summer dress that flares out at the bottom and some brown ankle-high boots to match it.
Trying on clothes and matching outfits with shoes and accessories, we spend hours in one store. After buying a couple outfits, Carmen pulls me to another store for men.
While she picks out clothes for her brothers, I pick out some for Nathan. Not that Nathan needs any more clothes, but I like to buy him things. I find some gray denim jeans and a few button-down plaid shirts. They have shirts with names on them, and I just so happen to find one that reads Tracey. Laughing, I hold it up, thinking about his reaction. Snagging some black and gray Nikes, I meet Carmen at the counter.
She heaves a pile of clothes on top of the checkout table as if they were too heavy and hurt. “They are going to owe me big time.” She pants. “What’d you get Nathan?”
I chuckle. “Just some jeans, shirts, and shoes.” Looking over my items, I add, “Not that he needs them.”
“Everybody always needs more clothes.” She hands the cashier her card.
“I know right.” She reminds me of Glen. It brings joy then saddens me at the same time. I shake it off. . . “You think you bought your brothers enough stuff?”
“Yeah, well, see, Carteal doesn’t like washed clothes, so I had to make sure he has something to wear while we’re at Aunt Nati’s house. And Courtney’s a child, so if I buy Carteal something I have to buy him something too.” She grabs her many bags from the cashier. “Thanks.”
The cashier smiles and nods, taking the clothes I place down.
I check out my things, and we head back to the car.
“Let’s get something to eat,” she suggests, buckling her seatbelt.
Drawing my lips to the side, I meet her gaze. I’m ready to go home now. We’ve been gone for over four hours, and I hate to say it, but I miss him badly. I need to get back and make sure he’s okay and maybe give him a hug.
Carmen’s eyes narrow, then she rolls them. “Really, already?”
“What?” I grump. “Is it written on my face?”
She faces forward, propping her elbow on the door. “Yes. You look pitiful.”
“I know.” I pout. “I can’t help it.” I’m not ready to go in the house yet, just see Nathan. Once I see him, I’ll be fine, and we can go back out. “We don’t have to stay. I’ll see him and then we can leave again.”
She shakes her head, half-smiling. “Can’t you just talk to him and be fine? It’s about to get dark, and we aren’t going to come back this way. It’s too far.”
“It’s not the same, Carmen,” I whine like a child denied a candy bar.
She throws her hand in her face, snickering at my childish annotation. “Okay, Tracey, let’s go. Maybe if we get closer, it won’t be so bad, and we can stop and get something to eat.”
I nod, starting up the car and driving away.
Carmen stops singing mid-tune and turns down the radio. “Do you like it?”
“Like what?” I ask, frowning.
“Being bound.”
I take a minute, mulling over the experience. “Um, I like being bound to Nathan. If that answers your question.”
“No, it doesn’t, actually.” She twists in the seat to face me. “I’m asking how you feel about it, not about him. Just your opinion. How do you feel about the topic?”
I sigh. There are a lot of ways I can answer this question. But I don’t want her to take what I say the wrong way.
“The only reason I’m asking,” she starts, “is because I’d like to know what it’s like. I want someone to feel that way about me, and I feel that way about someone. Every Sephlem girl wants to mate and be bound. Like human girls want to be married.”
“Oh, Carmen, you are such a girl. Never suspected you for the sentimental type.”
She rolls her eyes. “I am, but only around people I trust and know I can talk to.”
“Should I take that as a compliment?” I joke.
“You should,” she sasses. “Now, can you please tell me? I watch you and Nathan, and you two seem happy. Or would you say it is just the bond?”
“Um. My loving him isn’t just the bond. Those are my real feelings. It was because of the bond and our mating, though, that I fell for him so quickly and did things with him quicker than I would’ve if we weren’t mated. All the checking with him before I do things and not being able to go hours without missing him is the bond.” I pause. “I mean, I’d still think about him, not miss him to the point where I’d want to take breaks in between what I’m doing to see him. That’s the part I hate. It steals my independence, and that’s so cliché. The least I can do is walk away without feeling tarnished that I didn’t tell my mate first. You know?”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t like that either.” She finally turns back in her seat, releasing me from her head-on stare. “Can I ask you another question? I know you don’t know me that well and this may seem a little personal, but I won’t know unless I ask.”
“Yeah, go ahead,” I say nervously.
“Don’t think I’m a bitch but, when you had to choose between Nathan and Roehl. How close were you to choosing Roehl?”
I don’t mind answering, but I’m sure her mind will change about me. “Don’t think differently of me,” I mutter as if someone were listening in on our conversation.
“I won’t. I know what your choice is,” she assures.
“I was really close to choosing Roehl. The thing that steered me away was that our heartbeats didn’t match like Nathan’s and mine. And Nathan’s cry for me when I was choosing to leave with Roehl. I don’t know what he did, but it was in the way he said my name.” I immediately go into explaining why, knowing that sounded bad. “I didn’t want to choose Roehl. It was just that he did something to me to make me want him. But I didn’t, and I don’t.”
“You don’t have to explain to me, Tracey, I know.” She pauses. “If you could do it all over, from the beginning. Would you?”
Ouch. That is a loaded question. “Um.” I think about that. I wouldn’t give up Nathan and me. I love us. A lot of events we’ve gone through I’d like to relive, but what’s done is done. And what is, is. “No.”
“That’s a cliffhanger.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say uncomfortably. “But the good outweighs the bad in it
. Like the comforting feeling he gives when his fingertips just barely graze your cheek overpowers the inconvenience of needing his permission. The freedom you feel when you kiss him overcomes the obligation to be around him. Then the love he gives outweighs all the bad and messed up stuff that’s happened in your lives.”
“Yeah, and not to mention the sex.”
A smug smile stills my conflicted expression. “Right, then there’s that.”
She readjusts herself in the seat. “Yeah, well, I only heard it’s amazing. To make love to someone’s mind and body. But, I wouldn’t know.”
“Good,” I mutter. “Because it can be addictive. Especially with the bond and this unique feature where you can get high off each other’s touch and smell,” I say even quieter. “Stay that way as long as you can.”
“Maybe, or at least until I mate.”
“No, I think you’re supposed to wait until you’re made.”
“How do you know?”
“I know these things, Carmen. Nathan doesn’t just keep me on a shelf. I talk to his family and am up to date on all the Sephlem terminology.”
She laughs. “Okay, so I’m supposed to wait until we’re made. Now that we’re closer, let’s stop at a restaurant and eat. I’m starving.” She belches, contradicting her statement.
“Yeah, I can tell,” I chaff.
“That was a hunger burp, not a full one.”
I don’t want to stop, but I will because she asked, and I don’t want to make it seem as bad as it is. “Okay.” But my leg jumps, and if I let go of this steering wheel, she’ll see my hands fidgeting.
I drive to Eddie’s Best. We order our food, and they quickly bring it out. As we eat, Carmen tunes me in to her aspirations of how she wants her mated relationship to be, and I encourage her with smiles and the experience.
“Hi, Tracey,” slides from a familiar voice.
I cuss under my breath, not wanting to look over my shoulder. Seeing him will turn this day around for me. I sip my sweet tea through my straw.
Michael takes another step closer. “I said hi, Tracey,” he says, now right behind me.
I meet Carmen’s questioning gaze and roll my eyes. “Can we help you with something?” she asks, irritated.
Brazen: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Sephlem Trials Book 2) Page 43
