by Rebecca Shea
I’m sure I’ll make do, I think with a smile. This place is too peaceful. No season will stop me from coming out here.
Since I want to be at the coffee shop to take some pictures as they begin demolition, I head inside to get dressed. I’m documenting the entire process and creating picture books to put in the shop so customers can see where it all started. We all start somewhere, people and places. Sometimes, the prettiest of things were once the most depressed. I’ve made two trips into Portland to shop for equipment for the shop and also purchase mugs, plates, silverware, and other supplies. Today, I plan to post a help wanted sign in the hopes that I’ll be able to start interviewing employees soon. It’s still hard to believe sometimes that this is all happening.
After showering, dressing, and inhaling a bowl of cereal, I head into town. It’s a short drive, less than two miles. A straight shot from my house, but I enjoy the scenic drive. Everything about this town is quaint, perfect. I love it all—the small houses, the friendly people, and the beach. Parking in one of the three designated spots behind the building, next to a work truck and a large dumpster, I head inside and find men already beginning to tear down the existing walls. Quickly, I snap some pictures of them working, then stand back and take in the progress while also taking notes on other items I’ll need.
“Mornin’ sweetheart,” Mr. Anders says from behind me as he comes in the front door.
“Morning, Mr. Anders.” I give the older man a bright smile. He has been such a blessing to me. First by allowing me to rent his house long-term, and now with his help in building out the coffee shop. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him. He knows everyone in this town, and he’s been wonderful in helping me adjust to life here.
“I can’t wait until I can walk through that front door and get myself some coffee,” he says as he stretches his arms over his head. “Looks like the guys are off to a good start.”
“They are. They beat me here and almost had all the walls down,” I tell him.
“Good. I told them no fiddling around. We’re watching their time and your money.” He raises his eyebrows at me.
“I appreciate you looking out for me.”
“Glad to help ya,” he says with a smile.
We spend the morning going over the timeline, projected costs versus actual costs to date, and I show him some of the paintings I plan to purchase. We’re leaving the exposed brick on the walls and bringing in artwork rich in reds and browns to fill the walls. The main space will have dark wood floors and tables, and a few plush couches with large pillows.
We met with the cable company to discuss the wireless internet needs and got that all agreed upon and set up for installation. Every day, I leave feeling like progress is being made, and it’s such a great feeling.
When I look outside, it’s pouring rain and dark clouds have moved in, far from the sunny morning. The guys have left for the day, and Mr. Anders decides to call it a night as well. I have a few more measurements I need to take for painting and possible window coverings, so I lock up the back door as he leaves, then take out my tape measure and jot notes in my notebook. When I stand back up, I freeze. A face I thought I’d never see again is staring at me through the large glass window.
Even though it’s dark and the rain is coming down hard, I can still see him. I’d never forget that face… those eyes. My heart races as I process whether this is real or my mind playing a terrible joke on me.
And then he presses his fingers to the glass and watches me—waiting for a reaction.
I can’t believe it. He’s here. How did he find me? How did he get away? My mind races with questions as tears flood my eyes. But it can’t be real. There’s no way. As I’m trying to convince myself of that, he starts to walk away.
No!
I race to the door and fight with the lock, yanking the door open. “Alex!” I scream to him, but his dark figure is fading in the distance. “Stop!” Forgetting the rain completely, I run down the sidewalk after him.
He turns slowly as I approach, and we stand just feet from each other. The rain beats down against us, and a cold wind blows, causing the rain to feel like sleet. But I don’t feel it. I don’t feel the rain or the cold. I only know that he’s here. He’s really here.
“Why are you here?” I ask him, my teeth chattering.
He hesitates but finally answers. “For you, Em. I came for you.”
“You said—”
“I know what I said. It was lies.”
My heart breaks again at this admission. Everything with Alex and me has been lies. I almost begin to wonder if there will ever be truth with us.
He looks down, disappointed. “I shouldn’t have come, Em.”
“Then why did you?” My tone is hurt, angry.
He watches me, and it looks like he’s tearing up, only I can’t tell for sure because the rain is coming down so hard.
“Why did you come here, Alex?” I ask again.
“Because I love you, Em.” His tone is pained. “I need you.”
And that’s all I need to hear. My resolve breaks, and I throw myself into his arms as the rain beats down us, but all I feel is the warmth of his embrace.
“You’re shaking, Em,” he whispers into my wet hair.
“Come on; let’s go inside.” I wrap my hand around his and pull him toward the door of the coffee shop. Inside, I rub my hands together as I try to warm them, but Alex pulls my hands into his and holds them. The warmth of his hands radiates into mine and I shiver. For a different reason now.
“We need to get you home, Em,” he insists, looking concerned. “You need to get out of these wet clothes.”
“I’m fine,” I tell him, even though my body is saying otherwise. My arms and legs are shaking inside my wet clothes.
“Em.”
“Fine,” I sigh and grab my purse. I pull out my car keys, and Alex takes them from me.
“I’ll drive.”
“You don’t even know where we’re going.” I narrow my eyes at him.
He quirks a smile. “I’ve known where you were this entire time, Emilia. The flowers.” He gives me a pointed look, and my insides flood with relief. So it wasn’t one of his father’s people after me, trying to scare me. It was Alex.
“That was you?” I close my eyes in relief.
He nods, pleased with himself. “With a little help from a friend.” He smirks, then adds tenderly, “Come on. Let’s get you home.”
I lock the front door and shut down the lights as we head out the back door. My close parking spot makes it easy to get out of the rain quickly. Alex adjusts the driver’s seat and begins driving… right to my house. He really did know where I was the entire time. I should be surprised, but I’m not.
We pull into the driveway, and he cuts the engine before he turns to look at me. “Do you want me to come inside?”
“If I said no, where would you go?”
“Back to town. To the hotel down the street from the coffee shop. It’s not far, Em. I could walk, or I could take your car and bring it back in the morning.”
I almost chuckle at him, but I don’t. I have questions, and we need to talk. “Come inside,” I tell him. I jog up the sidewalk in the rain, and Alex meets me at the front porch.
He juggles the keys and manages to get the door open quickly. “I hate that you didn’t have an alarm system,” he says as he closes the door and locks the deadbolt.
“I don’t even think there’s a police force in this town,” I say, only somewhat teasing. “Who would come if the alarm goes off?”
“There’s a police force,” he says, then adds in a joking tone, “I think there are four officers. Maybe five. It’s not clear, but there are police.” Of course he’d know that. He probably already knows everything about this town, about where I’ve been and what I’m doing.
“So I’m assuming you know everything that I’ve been doing,” I say aloud, echoing my thoughts as I kick off my tennis shoes and pull my socks off. My bar
e toes are numb from the cold, and I wiggle them on the wood floor, trying to bring back some feeling.
“Everything.” He nods and kicks off his shoes, then peels his jacket off and hangs it on a coat hook just inside the front door. His jeans are soaked, and even his shirt that was underneath his jacket is soaked completely through.
“Come here.” I lead him toward the laundry room. “Let’s just wash everything and dry it.”
“I don’t have anything to change into; my suitcase is at the hotel,” he says, a grin creeping up his face.
I can feel my cheeks flush. “Right.” I stop outside the laundry room. “Forgot about that.”
He runs his hand through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead before he reaches out and runs his thumb across my lower lip. “Purple,” he says as he swipes at my lip. “Your lips are purple.”
“I’m cold,” I finally admit, running my hands over my arms.
Alex pulls the wet sweater I’m wearing over my head and tosses it to the laundry room floor. He unbuttons the jeans I have on and bends down, taking the jeans with him. When he pauses, I realize he’s looking at my stomach. The tips of his fingers brush against my lower stomach. While there isn’t much of a bump, my stomach is hard and firm. His touch is soft and tender. I close my eyes and welcome his touch.
With both of his hands on my hips, his thumbs rub small circles across my belly. He whispers something that I can’t make out before leaning in and pressing his forehead to my stomach. He takes a moment before finally speaking. “You’re freezing, Em. We need to get you warmed up.” He stands up and runs his hand up and down my arms. My pale skin is full of goose bumps. “Bathtub?” he asks. His touch is welcome, and I lean into him.
“In the master bathroom.” I nod down the hall, feeling breathless. With a tender smile, he slides his hand into mine and leads us down the hall. In the bathroom, he turns on the water for the tub and grabs a towel from the towel rack above the toilet.
“In,” he demands as the tub slowly fills with water. I reach behind me and unhook my bra, pulling it off my arms. It falls to the floor, and Alex inhales sharply. He fights to keep his eyes on mine, but true to Alex style, they fall to my chest and lower as I undress. He remains a gentleman, though, and quickly regains his composure.
I tug at the waistband of my panties and pull them down, stepping out of them and leaving them in a pile on top of my bra. Alex holds my arm as I step down into the large bathtub. The warm water feels amazing and begins to instantly warm my cold skin.
“I’ll be right back,” he says and leaves me to soak. About five minutes later, he comes back with mugs of hot tea, one for him and one for me. “Sip on this,” he says and sits down on the floor next to the tub. I blow on the steam and sip carefully. Feeling the warm tea travel to my belly instantly warms me from the inside.
We sit quietly sipping our tea, a million unasked questions on the tip of my tongue when Alex finally starts.
“I’m sorry for lying to you.” He looks me dead in the eye. “But I did it to protect you, Em.”
“How?”
“If I told you I wasn’t going to accept the deal, you wouldn’t have left Phoenix. Every minute you stayed, you were in danger. I needed you to leave.” I can see hurt and honesty behind his words.
I blink in surprise. “Wait, so you just walked away from the deal? You can’t do that, can you?”
“I asked for immunity. They accepted that. Honestly, they could care less what happens to me. If I die, I’m one less person they have to worry about.”
“Don’t say that, Alex,” I snap at him.
“It’s the truth, Em. I saved them a whole lot of time, money, and energy. I gave them everything they wanted, though.”
“So if you’re so worried about protecting me, why are you here? Aren’t you worried about your dad finding you here with me?”
“Not anymore,” he says, his eyes strangely somber.
I have a bad feeling in my gut. “Why?”
“He’s dead.”
It takes me a moment to process that. “Saul?”
“Dead,” he says quietly. “It’s over.” But there’s peace in his voice as he says that.
I lean my head back in the tub and close my eyes. I did not see this coming. Death is never something I’d wish on anyone, but a sense of utter relief fills me to know neither of them are alive and hunting Alex or me.
“So what now?” I ask him.
“I’m begging you to forgive me, to take me back… to love me.” His voice is quiet, but there is desperation in its tone.
“I never stopped loving you,” I tell him, my heart in my eyes. “But the lies, Alex….”
“We were all bound by my lies, Em. But not anymore. There are no more lies. There never will be,” he promises. “I swear on my mother’s grave.” He reaches over and laces his fingers through mine.
AFTER I’M DRESSED, I find Alex in the kitchen, staring at the ultrasound pictures on the fridge.
“Is that…?” He points to the picture.
“It is.” I can’t help but feel a sweep of maternal love as I walk over and pull the paper from under the magnet. “Here.” I hand it to him so he can take a closer look.
“It looks like a real baby,” he mumbles, completely in awe.
“It is a real baby,” I laugh.
He rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “I know, but it’s not like a peanut… it has arms and legs…”
“It’s the size of a lime,” I tell him. “I’ve been reading this book, and each week, it tells me what’s happening, how big the baby is, what’s developing this week. It’s pretty amazing.”
He hangs the ultrasound pictures back on the fridge and turns to me. “Marry me, Em.” It’s not a question, it’s a desperate demand as if he’s worried I’ll leave him.
“What?” I stutter, shocked. Well, more than shocked. Never in a million years did I picture Alex proposing. “Are you serious?”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. All I want is for you and me and the baby to be a family.” He holds my chin so that I can’t look away. “All I want is you—forever.”
“We can be a family without getting married, Alex.” I go from freezing one minute to having the sweats the next. Where did this proposal come from? One thing I want to ensure before I accept any proposal is that we’re getting married for the right reasons. Not just because I’m pregnant.
“Do you not want to marry me?” I can hear the disappointment in his voice.
“It’s not that, it’s just that everything has been so insane the last couple months. I think I just need to adjust to life here, get the coffee shop up and running, just get settled. You know?”
He nods, understanding but noticeably disappointed. “I’ll keep asking until you say yes, Em.” He cups my cheek, his eyes full of tenderness. While I’m so touched, I’m glad he’s dropping the subject for now.
“Are you hungry?” I ask, desperate for a subject change. “I was thinking about making some spaghetti.”
He grins. “I’m starving; spaghetti sounds amazing.”
I begin pulling out the pots and pans and, while I expect Alex to disappear while I make dinner, he surprises me and begins helping. We work alongside each other and boil noodles, stir sauce, and he even makes garlic bread. I cut up some veggies to make a small tossed salad, and our meal is complete.
We fall into a comfortable silence as we set the food on the table. “I’m glad you’re here,” I tell him as we sit down to eat.
“I can’t imagine being anywhere else, Em. What we just did, making dinner together—I want that every night for the rest of my life. Just being with you, living a normal life. Ordering pizza, snuggling on the couch, going to the movies. All of it.”
I bite my lip to contain my smile. “I want that too.” From the moment I fell in love with Alex, this is all I’ve ever wanted.
While we eat, he fills me in on everything that has happened back in Phoenix. He up
dates me on Sam and answers a million questions that I have about his business and what he plans to do now that he’s no longer managing a multi-million dollar illegal drug and gun smuggling operation. I drill him with questions, all of which he answers perfectly. No lies, he said. I’m holding him to that.
After we clean up the dinner dishes, he starts a fire in the fireplace. I loved that feature in the house, but I’ve been too afraid to start one by myself. Enjoying the heat and coziness, we sit on the oversized couch in the living room, with me curled up next to him as we talk. I don’t even realize I’ve dozed off until I feel Alex carrying me to bed.
“Don’t go,” I mumble as he sets me on the bed.
“I’ll stay on the couch,” he says, pulling the comforter back and tossing the decorative pillows onto a chair in the corner.
“Stay with me,” I beg him, and he stills.
“Are you sure?”
“Never been more sure about anything,” I tell him.
I crawl into bed, and I hear him take off his jeans and his t-shirt. He crawls in next to me and pulls me to him. We fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms and, for the first time in years, I fall asleep without a care in the world.
I WAKE TO feel Alex running his finger down my arm, from my shoulder to my wrist. My eyes flutter open as they try to adjust to the bright room.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose.
“What time is it?” I ask and groan as I snuggle up next to him. My fingers trace the hard lines of his chest, and I play with the small patch of hair in the center of his chest.
“Seven thirty,” he says and wraps his arms around me, pulling me tighter to him. “I want to wake up like this every morning.”
“Hmmm… me too.” I kiss the corner of his mouth.
“I want to kiss you a million times a day,” he says sweetly and kisses my face all over, from my temples to my forehead and all the way down to my chin.
“I’d like that,” I say as he finally captures my lips.
“I need you, Em,” he says, his voice needy.
