by Rue Volley
“Everything.” I finally looked up at him. “I would fucking give you any fucking thing you asked for.”
He pulled me into a tight embrace and whispered, “I know what you are.” His fingers ran along the scars on my back.
I pushed against him, trying to separate myself. He wouldn’t let up.
Goosebumps covered my body, and my stomach dropped. There was no way he knew what he thought he knew. And if he did, it was only a matter of time before I was dragged back to Heaven or damned straight to Hell.
“Mila, don’t be afraid. I’m not here to hurt you.”
He finally let me go and I stepped back, clumsily tripping over one of his boots. I fell back, cracking my head on the hard wood floor.
“Fuck, girl. How you’ve lasted this long without your wings, I’ll never know.” He knelt next to me and gingerly lifted and inspected my head. “No blood.”
“Do you work for Gabriel?” I kept my eyes closed. I was either going to throw up from the apparent concussion I was suffering from or the fact that my secret was no longer a secret.
“No. He and I have,” he seemed to consider his words, “different views.”
“Different how?” My back began to itch, the joints Gabriel left inside me tried to beat, but did nothing but tear me open from the inside. I screamed and rolled to my stomach.
“He didn’t remove them completely.” Damien placed his hands over the scars to stifle the bleeding. “I can help you. But it will hurt like nothing you’ve ever felt before.”
I sobbed into his stained carpet and shook my head. “I don’t care. Make it stop!”
“Don’t move.”
I could feel his fingers feel along the scar before settling on the joint. Quickly his fingers pinched together. “On the count of three?”
I dipped my head in acknowledgement.
“One.”
My breath grew frantic.
“Two.”
I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Three.”
Damien pushed his fingers into the wounds and gripped the joints. I felt him snap them off. His scream intermingled with mine and it was as if the whole world vibrated in pain along with us. It wasn’t long after that I passed out.
* * *
“Mila.” A voice echoed in the dark. “Mila.”
Pain blinded me, jolted through my body until I thought I’d tear into pieces. I cried out, flailing my arms, looking for something, anything to hold onto, anything to ground me in the present.
I found Damien’s hand, slick and clammy with sweat, but strong and familiar.
“You’ll be fine. Just breath through the pain,” he said through clenched teeth. “The healing will be much quicker this time.” I couldn’t figure why he was in so much pain. I was the one who’d just had bones snapped off and ripped from my body.
His face appeared above mine. “Breath with me, Mila.” I watched as he took a deep breath in and a pushed it out slowly. “Breath with me.”
With the small bit of energy I had left, I filled my lungs as he filled his. Emptied them as he did the same. It seemed like we lay on the floor for hours breathing in and out, in and out, synchronized and whole.
“What happened?” I knew but couldn’t wrap my head around it. I still had no idea who he was or what he wanted from me. I only knew that somehow he felt the pain I’d felt when he tore the remainder of Heaven from my body.
He opened his hands and held them out to me. In his palms were two small pieces of bone, opening and closing furiously as if they didn’t realize they were no longer a part of my body.
I reached out and stroked each with my finger before taking them and inspecting them more closely.
“Are you okay?” he asked as I sat up.
“I think so.” For the first time in five years, I no longer felt Gabriel’s wrath. I’d learned to accept it, live with it for so long, I wasn’t sure if I should mourn the loss of my old life or celebrate the fact that Gabriel no longer had a hold over me.
“The wounds will take time to heal. And once you do, you shouldn’t feel any more pain.”
“How did you know?” I looked from the bones in my hand to him.
“I’ve known since it happened. Well, a bit after, actually. And then you disappeared. You aren’t an easy woman to find.” He chuckled. “Even for someone like me.”
“Someone like you?”
“Yeah, Mila.” His head tilted when he realized I hadn’t put two and two together. “You still don’t know who I am.”
“Damien.”
“Yes. That’s my actual name. But I have so many others.”
He was scaring me and despite the throbbing pain in my back, I inched away from him. “Such as?”
“Pick your favorite. Beelzebub. Prince of Darkness. King of Hell. Lucifer. Satan.”
My jaw dropped and I scrambled to get away. Blood poured from the wounds in my back. My head throbbed from hitting the floor. I stumbled as I attempted to reach the front door.
“Mila! No! I won’t hurt you.” He slammed the front door closed just as I’d inched it open. “I know what’s said about me. I know what you’ve been told. I know what He and the others teach the ones in Heaven and it isn’t true.” He placed my face in his hands and smirked. “Well, most of it isn’t true.”
I ducked under his arm and ran to the back of the apartment, throwing whatever I could find in behind me. Running on pure adrenaline, I skidded into the bathroom and slammed the door and locked it.
“Really, Mila. A locked door?”
The locked clicked and I grabbed the doorknob. “Leave me alone! Gabriel told me what you’d do to me when you found me!”
“I’m not going to come in unless you let me in. I am not the monster I’ve been made out to be.”
“Go away!” I screamed.
“Tell me you don’t feel it when we fuck. Tell me you don’t feel like our souls lock together. Tell me you can’t feel me inside you even when I’m not there. Because I can feel you tighten around me even when I’m buried in the depths of Hell.”
Sinking to the floor, I felt every word he said and cried because it was true. Gabriel was right when he told me I was a whore from Hell.
“Gabriel wasn’t right,” Damien whispered from the other side of the door. “Not completely right. If you come out of the bathroom, I will tell you the whole story.”
For hours, I sat covered in blood and tears and still I didn’t know what to think. I realized I didn’t care either. Damien. Gabriel. One of them would be the death of me. Better to get it over with sooner rather than later.
I opened the door and stepped into the hallway. Damien sat in the living room in a chair that faced the bathroom door. He didn’t move when I walked toward him though he kept his eyes on me. He didn’t look especially angry, more defeated than anything.
I sat on a chair across the room and waited.
Minutes passed and I thought he would never speak.
“You were mine once. Thousands of years ago you were mine and I was yours. You and I danced together through fires, freed condemned souls. We were happy. We were in love. We felt a passion that rivaled all creation. The connection between us was so strong I thought it could never be broken. I knew you’d never leave my side.”
Snapshots flashed through my head at a million miles per minute, and I couldn’t settle on one image.
“I was wrong. You were taken from me. You were taken from me and taught to forget about me. Tortured and broken until you saw me as an adversary, as someone to hide from in the dark.”
I saw myself chained to the walls, Gabriel whispering in my ears. Eryn holding my head still as he did.
“I looked and looked. I couldn’t find you. I could feel you. I could feel everything you felt. I knew you were somewhere, but the minute I closed in, you’d slip from me like sand through a sieve. Some say it drove me mad. Maybe it did. I unleashed my wrath upon anyone who stood in my way, anyone who deserved to be broken.”
His hands shook as he brought them to his head. “ I looked, Mila. I swear on the souls of all who are lost that I looked for you.”
“I believe you.” The memories were out of reach, I couldn’t find them, couldn’t find what he was saying but in my heart, I knew it to be true.
“You have been the love of my life, the only one who ever made my existence worth anything for as long as I can remember. And now you’re here. And there is no recognition in your eyes.”
“Help me remember.” I walked over and knelt down in front of him.
“I don’t know how.”
“Try.” I knew Eryn placed her hands in my head to make me forget. I thought if he did the same, it would help me remember. I took his hands in mine and placed them on either side of my head. “Try.”
SEVEN
Damien leaned down and placed his forehead against mine. In an instant, I was nearly thrown backwards as a life I never knew existed flooded back and the last time he and I were together before I was taken soaked though me, the last time I’d made love instead of running haphazardly through a random fuck.
* * *
While keeping his eyes on mine, Damien slowly pulled his fingers from me and brought them to his lips, a small smile playing on his mouth. I could see the anticipation in his eyes as he unbuttoned my shirt, slid it back over my shoulders until it fell into a heap on the floor. With my back pressed up against the wall, I reached for him. My hands shook and I was barely able to keep control. A small bead of sweat fell between my breasts as I slipped him out of his pants and wrapped my right hand around him. A wicked smile played on my lips as I heard his gasp. He lifted off his shirt, adding it to the pile of clothes on the floor. As my left hand slowly traveled up his stomach, his chest, his shoulders, I held him still by my right hand and closed my fist tighter. We kissed, softly at first, but with more intensity with each slow, fisted pull of my hand. Reaching behind my head, he gripped my hair, his tongue expertly exploring my mouth.
I playfully bit his lip before moving to his neck. As my tongue followed the nape of his neck, the curve of his collarbone, his chest, his stomach, he breathed out my name, “Mila.”
I settled in front of him on my knees and I look into his eyes. He is mine and I am his, and deep inside I knew it would be that way always.
I teased him with my tongue, not yet ready to break eye contact. It wasn’t until his head fell back in expectation did I slide him between my lips.
Every drop of blood in him pumped to his hardened cock, transforming it from powerful muscle to solid stone. Fully in my mouth, I could feel it pulsing, throbbing with every beat of his heart. Every inch of my mouth was locked on him, controlling him. My swollen lips wrapped around his shaft, slowly sliding along its length.
With his hands in my hair, I allowed him to dictate the rhythm. Saliva dripped to the floor as he pumped his cock deep into my throat. A hand splayed across his stomach as the other settled between my thighs. I pushed two fingers inside and the vibration of my low moan almost put him over the edge. He slowed down quickly, and I knew he was not yet ready to end it. He began to shake as he forced himself to hold back, and I could feel him teeter on the edge as he pulled out of my mouth.
“Baby.” A small smile played on his lips as he knelt down in front of me. My hand took over where my mouth left off and I could see his eyes glaze over.
Damien leaned into me slowly, pushing me onto my back. He sucked the fingers that were just inside me as he settled between my thighs. He ran his tongue along my neck before moving to my breasts. Teasing each nipple with his teeth, I inhaled sharply and lifted my hips to meet his, but he wasn’t finished teasing me.
I moaned in pleasure as his tongue trailed down my stomach and licked the sensitive skin of my inner of my thighs. My hands moved to the top of his head, running through his hair as his teeth scraped the sensitive skin. Sliding his hands under my ass, he lifted me up.
He rubbed his cheek inside my legs, his mouth just close enough for me to feel the warmth of his breath. His tongue slowly passed his lips and slowly licked along my thigh, stopping just before I wanted him to. I gyrated, pushed, rubbed. I was trying anything to get him to start. Reaching up, he pushed a finger in my mouth, sliding it in and out until it was soaked in my saliva and, with his tongue still running around my thighs, he pressed the soaked finger against my hardened clit.
“Ready?” He looked up at me before diving in.
“Damien.” I gasped and my eyes flew open at the touch of his mouth on me.
“You smell so fucking good.” He knew what he was about to do to me, and he knew I was dying from want but he wasn’t ready yet. His finger slid down to part my lips, and his tongue snaked out for a small taste as I inhaled sharply.
His fingers, his face, were drenched with me, and he pressed his thumb onto my clit.
“Ah, God. Please!” I moaned, barely able to contain myself.
With his tongue working continuously on my lips, he increased the intensity and speed with his thumb on that magical spot. When the heat rose in my stomach, I gripped his hair doing all I could to push him deeper. The pressure of his thumb on me was almost too much to bear, but coupled with the long, slow licks from his tongue, I felt myself going over. Ready to fall
Fall.
Fall.
His fingers worked inside me, first two, then three. He matched the speed of my gyrations. My moans filled the room, echoed through the space, encouraging him to push his face deeper, his thumb pressing harder, his tongue licking faster, his fingers working me until I screamed and spilled out. His face shifted and he lapped up everything I had to offer him. With his tongue inside me, keeping his thumb on my clit, he traced a finger from his free hand between my wet lips before slipping it into my ass.
I continue to scream.
I continue to fall.
His face is covered in me, but he continued until he felt me shudder and vibrate. My hands fall from his head to the floor and I attempted to catch my breath.
“I want to taste.”
Damien climbed on top of me and brought his face to mine. I greedily licked his chin and his lips, savoring every delicious taste. He kissed me deeply, pushing what was left of me into my mouth. I couldn’t get enough.
“Damien.”
He reached between my legs until he brought me over again, bringing his hand back to my mouth to feeds me his fingers. I suck until there is nothing left, and my eyes roll back into my head.
He nuzzled into my neck, holding me tight. “I love you, Mila.”
“I love you.”
* * *
“Do you see?” Damien pulled his hands from my head.
“That was us.” I almost couldn’t believe what he’d shown me. I couldn’t understand how an entire part of my life vanished from my memory. It wasn’t even the sex; it was the love that surrounded us like a blanket. It was so pure, I almost couldn’t comprehend that something so amazing ever existed.
“It was.” His eyes looked sad.
“Why?”
“Why what? Why did you love me?” He looked away and I pulled his face back to mine.
“Why was I taken from you?” I couldn’t piece it all together, but part of me shifted and I didn’t feel as broken.
“Gabriel wanted what I had.”
“Me.”
“Yes, you. But more than that. He doesn’t want the life he has in Heaven. He wants my life, the power I have. The fact that I can love you freely, without Divine Intervention or whatever the fuck. You and I were free. And without you, I’d be a prisoner.”
“And Eryn?” My heart contracted and the part that held her twisted.
“You loved her.” It wasn’t a question.
“I did. I don’t remember, didn’t remember, anything before her, really. A human life. Gabriel said I wasn’t worthy of Heaven.” I wrapped my arms across my body to stifle the chill that began to spread through me.
“You never were human, Mila. You were always a Fall
en. Always with me. There was no time you and I weren’t bonded.”
“It was all a lie? All of it?”
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine—“ He reached out to me but I pulled away before he could touch me.
“No. You can’t imagine! Everything I’ve ever believed was a lie. I lived a full and beautiful life, of which I have no recollection.” Pacing the floor, anger pulsed alive in my belly. “Wait.” I turned and looked at Damien. “Why did he let me go?”
“What?”
“Why did he let me go? If he didn’t want you to have me, why didn’t he just either kill me or keep me for himself?”
“Because he couldn’t kill you. Not until you were human.”
“And now I am mortal so he’s looking for me.”
“Yes. He can kill you now, and that’s what he’s planned.” Damien stood. “He is here. I don’t know if he knows you are with me, or if he knows I am here. But he knows where you live, where you work. He is waiting for you. And if he finds you, he will kill you.”
“Then take me with you!” The words flew out of my mouth before I could think them through.
“It doesn’t work that way, Mila. You can’t come with me. Not like this.”
“Not like what?” I yanked my hands from his.
“As a human.”
“So I just keep running from him, and Satan himself can’t do anything to protect me?” I crouched low and put my hands over my head, the pain in my shoulders still throbbing. “What the fuck!”
“You can kill him.”
“What?” I jerked my head toward him.
“If you killed him, you’d be free of him. And you’d get your wings back. If you want them.”
“If I want them?”
“You have choices, Mila. You can choose to go back to Heaven, choose to stay here, as a human or—”
“Or?”
“Or choose to come home with me.”
“And all I have to do is kill an Archangel. Ha! Like picking daisies, right?” I laughed until I fell over, curled up in a ball and began sobbing.
“No, Mila! I can help you.” Damien came to the floor next to me and pulled me in tight.
