by Rue Volley
As I look at him I want to tell him ‘everything is okay, please do not worry for me,’ but it is not okay. Right now, I do not want to think too hard about all of this. I just want to be in his arms and awake in the morning with some kind of answers for my feelings and what I need to do. I lean in and kiss him. The taste of my sex flavoring his lips is sinful. I break off the kiss, and Levi pulls me in closer. My head rests on the muscles of his inner arm while his other arm wraps warmly around me. He runs his fingers through the downy feathers of my wings, making my back arch in bliss. It feels so good that I am practically purring. His strokes become steady, and I slowly fall into a dreamless sleep.
* * *
“Ugh…The sun is too bright,” I say groaning, as I slowly open one eye. My head feels like someone is stabbing hot metal shards into it. My body feels sore, especially between my thighs. Last night’s activities come crashing through my mind. Heaven help me. I don’t think I have ever felt this bad and good in my entire existence. Even my hair follicles ache. I get up and stumble to the doorway. I am still fully corporal, so I stand there holding on to the door jamb for dear life as my stomach swims with an acidic churning sensation. I walk down the hall using the wall for support and follow the sound of voices.
“Daddy, is Ms. Celine getting up soon?” The exuberance of Karina makes my head pound hard enough for my teeth to ache.
“She will be up soon, Karina.” Jake says softly and reassuringly. Although, I was pretty sure I was dying a slow death. Was the wine poisoned? Holy Deity, I hope I can make it.
“Good, can I ask her to take me to school like Andy’s angel goes with him?” Her pleading for my presence is sweet and I find myself smiling through the discomfort hammering down on me.
“I don’t think she will be up for the day long trip to your school. I can drive you, and Celine can come with us. That’s if it’s okay with your Dad.” The deep bass of Levi’s voice makes my soul warm and my palms sweat in nervousness. Will he treat me like a pariah after everything he confessed and what we did last night?
“Yay! Daddy is it okay? Please, oh please say yes, Daddy.” I walk in and see Karina jumping up and down, her hair a mass of mahogany curls bouncing all over her petite frame. The apples of her cheeks blush a beautiful rose in her excitement.
“Yes, now go get your school stuff together.” Karina squeals in delight at Jake’s approval and runs for the doorway. The blue jumper she wears swaying with her movements. I am standing in her way, but she looks up as she heads my way and graces me with her innocent smile.
Stopping dead in her tracks, she throws her small arms around me and I barely catch my balance. Karina sings her greeting to me, “Hi, Celine! You and Levi are going to take me to school today!”
“Hello Sweetling. You are so very enthusiastic in the morning,” I say, patting her silky fall of curly hair fondly.
Karina skips past me; her voice carrying as she makes her way down the hall. “Yup, I have to get my stuff. I’ll be right back.”
“How bad are you hurting?” Jake asks, making me want to smack the smirk off his face. I look at Levi and blush. Then, I really take him in, and it is so not fair. He is bright eyed and freshly showered. His hair is still damp, and the light sandalwood fragrance of it has me breathing him in deeply at this distance. Him and Jake are both ready for the day and I almost had to drag myself to get this far. I feel like I was hit by a truck, and I am pretty sure I look like a Gorgon with snakes for hair. Luckily, he isn’t turning to stone yet, so it can’t be that bad. I force myself to look away from him, not wanting to get lost in whatever pull it is that keeps my body and sight constantly gravitating towards him.
I answer Jake’s question on a heavy sigh, “Is it normal for the roots of my hair to hurt after only drinking two glasses of wine?” My question earns me a chuckle from Jake and a heart stopping smile from Levi. Looking at Levi’s lips reminds me of where they were on my body last night. Unknowingly, I lift my hand to my mouth as if to replay the way his lips felt against me.
“Here, take this.” Levi clears his throat and hands me two little white pills and a glass of water. I place the tablets on my tongue as I have seen so many do before and immediately begin to gag at the bitter chalky taste. I quickly lift the glass of water to my lips and gulp as much of the refreshing liquid as I can to cleanse my mouth of the horrid taste. Jake and Levi are trying not to laugh at me. Their reaction is much the same as Marcus when his lips start twitching. Grrrr…
“Can I ask you a question?” Levi asks, still trying to hold back his laughter by biting his bottom lip.
“Um…sure?” This self-conscious behavior in me is becoming so tiresome. I can’t keep being so demure. It is not who I want to be seen as anymore.. I am a strong female and a Watcher. I was chosen to regulate a demon half-breed because of my strength and fortitude. Grow a darn backbone, Celine!
“Is there a way to hide your wings?” Then he has to go and say that. Does the man have no regard for my feelings?
“Are you ashamed of my wings?” I practically snarl at him. My ire at being asked such an insensitive question by Levi makes me angry. I turn a look on Jake that I am sure would flay him if it could. Jake’s eyes widen like a deer caught in the headlights, and he stops sniggering immediately. He turns towards the dishes and busies himself by loading them into the dishwasher.
Levi raises his hands up in a placating gesture. “No, I just want to take you somewhere people are around, en masse. I figure the wings would be extremely eye catching. But hey, if you want to flaunt them around, far be it from me to stop you.”
In a small voice I reply, “Oh, well then yes I can tuck my wings away.” I twist the fabric of my gown in my fist. I can’t go anywhere looking like this.
“Here,” Levi says handing me a bag with a popular clothing chain printed in bold letters on the front of it. I want to cry at the warm gesture, I look up at him and he looks a little uncomfortable by the offering and excuses himself quickly, “Karina and I will be waiting for you in the car.”
“He is so confusing.” I whisper it mostly to myself but Jake hears me.
Jake turns a dial on the dishwasher and then turns to me to respond, “Aren’t all humans?”
“Their reasoning can be truly baffling at times.”
“Kind of like drinking wine when water would have been sufficient.” Sarcastic brat!
“Please, refrain from saying that word around me. It makes my stomach churn.”
“And what word was that again? Wine!” Does he have to say it so loud? Jiminy!
“Ugh…you are mean, Fallen.” I walk away hearing his quiet laughter behind my back and smile to myself. He really is a brat.
I make my way towards the little bathroom I passed by earlier while walking down the hall. Closing myself in, I relish the feel of the cool tile under my feet. I look over the sink and into the mirror and my reflection is almost horrifying. My hair is an absolute mess of knots. My pale complexion is marred by the rosiness in my cheeks. My eyes stand out in a jewel-like tone. Emeralds surrounded by snow white colored lashes. I see the pristine white downy feathers of my wings over my shoulders, and I am already sad that I have to hide them. They are small and tuck away easily. Having to be something I am not to fit into this world and be close to Levi is putting a huge damper on last night’s happy glow.
I quickly grab the brush sitting off to the side of the sink and run it through the snarls of my hair. It is smoothed out in no time, and I turn on the water and giggle joyously at the feel of the cool liquid running over my hand. I splash it against my face, and the cool temperature contrast makes me gasp but it is refreshing. I see an unopened tooth brush and give it a try. Minty toothpaste is now my new best friend as I scrub the bristles along my gums and teeth, just the way I have seen it done for years and years of my life. I love it! When my teeth are scrubbed clean, I notice the mint makes my lips sting a little, slightly plumping them and adding a deeper coral tone.
I remove th
e clothing from the bag, pulling the tags off as I go. Dark denim jeans and a black ribbed tank top make up the outfit. Simple and no fuss are the clothes he has picked out for me and it is perfect. Further in the bag wrapped in tissue paper, I find undergarments. I have never worn them before, and by the looks of them they do not look like they cover much anyways. As I slip on the black lace panties and matching bra, I feel a little naughty. To be wearing something Levi picked out and has had his hands on, something he pictured on the most intimate parts of my body, is arousing.
I stand looking in the full-length mirror. My wings flutter as I take in my reflection. I have not put my wings away in centuries. Makes me feel like I am that much closer to falling but if I want to be out in the world with Levi I will need to just suck it up and do it. I will my wings to fold in close to my body and retract into the hidden slits that run along my spinal column. I try to shake off the feeling of restriction by quickly putting on the rest of the clothing. After a few attempts and one hard crash to the floor from trying to put the jeans on two legs at the same time, I finally get it. I slip on the little ballet flats that are tucked in at the bottom of the bag, and I am ready to go.
Walking my way over to the door, I find Jake standing there. His eyes are expressing the same emotion I have as he looks over my shoulders. My poor wings hidden like a shameful secret.
“Please, be careful. You’re vulnerable with your wings tucked away.” His tone is paternal and it irks me. As sweet as this Fallen has been to me, he is not my maker and I can do what I want. Right now, what I want is just beyond the door. The thought of being with him makes adrenaline speed quickly through my veins.
“I have had my wings for a long while now, Jake. I am pretty sure I know how to use them.”
“Yeah…make sure Levi doesn’t drive like an idiot with my Baby in the car.” Jake smiles at me, and I wrap my arms around him in a quick hug.
“I will head-butt him if he does,” I speak softly into his shoulder.
“Deity, I would pay ungodly amounts of money to see that.” Jakes grins brightly as I look up at him.
I smack him lightly in the arm. “I bet you would!”
I place my hand on the door knob and take a deep breath. Today I am going to just live. I am going to experience a day with the demon half-breed that has my heart and mind in a game of tug-o-war. It is a new day, Celine and you are going to make it worth it. Opening the door, the sun beats down and stings my eyes but even this pain is something I can work past. Pain is a reminder that for this moment, I am truly alive and not just a misty form travelling between worlds.
I see Levi standing against his car wearing his usual outfit of distressed jeans and a white t-shirt that pulls across his chest in the most distracting of ways. He drives an older black car, and it suits him completely. His masculine form against the heavy piece of machinery makes my body beg for his attention. Levi looks me over from my feet to my head and lingers on a couple of places in-between. He meets my eyes. I cannot decide if I want to run and jump his sexy body or if I should run, as far and as fast as possible. He is a predator. By the look in his eyes, I know he will chase me and devour me when he has me in his grasp. Well, I hope that is what I am seeing.
He opens the passenger door for me. As I step in front of him he moves just a little closer, so that as I try to slide in, I am forced to rub up against the hard planes of his body. After I am seated, he reaches over and buckles me in. While he uses this as an excuse to tease me, I decide it is time to play this little game along with him. “I am a big girl. I could have buckled my own self in,” I say using the sultriest tone I can muster and nip at the lobe of his ear. I feel and hear him growling and mentally put a little tic mark on my inner scoreboard. Game on Levi! He stands up and turns away doing a rearranging motion over his pants before getting in on the driver’s side of the car. This earns him a smirk from me as he folds himself in to the vehicle.
Karina pipes in with her sweet little voice, “Levi, what kind of car is this? Why does Daddy call it a death trap?” I giggle at the affronted look on Levi’s face.
“This, my sweet Karina, is a 1962 Chevy Impala. You can tell your Dad he is just jealous because it’s way cooler than what he drives around. Besides, I’m carrying precious cargo today and nothing will ever harm you while you’re with me.” I smile at him. He turns away quickly, a blush tinting his cheeks. It is so darn endearing that I want to squeeze him.
“Levi, you are my favorite person right after Daddy. Well you are kinda tied with Mrs. Davidson, but that is because she bakes me cookies. Will you bake for me? If you did you would probably be almost number one!” Levi laughs outright at the little girl’s ramblings, but I can see how happy he is and wonder what kind of father he will make.
“As you wish, m’lady,” he says looking back at her in the rear view mirror.
* * *
Levi and I step out of the vehicle. The tension between us after dropping Karina off at school is tangible. We are now at a farmers market. One I have seen him come to many times before. The hustle and bustle of people selling their wares is a little overwhelming. I am jostled around by the passersby and little bits of their lives flash over me. So many lives in such a short amount of time make it hard to concentrate on the simple task of walking. Levi steps quickly to my side and covers my hand with his own. The feel of his masculine hand over mine is warm and comforting. He makes me feel safe and grounded with this kind and simple gesture.
People begin to move aside while Levi has me in his grasp. They make their way out of our personal space, enabling us to walk without being touched. It is a relief after all the lives I just sped through moments ago.
“What is your home like?” Levi asks me. It feels good that he wants to get to know me.
“I live on a cloud.” I smile up at him and Levi’s golden eyes glaze over. His straight, pearly teeth sink into the corner of his plump lower lip. He shakes his head to dislodge whatever thought that has its hold on him.
“A real cloud?” He asks. I nod my head at him, a little distracted by a booth that is selling beautiful stones cut in magnificent pieces to be worn as jewelry.
“What do you do when you aren’t ‘spying’ on me?” He squeezes my hand trying to reclaim my attention. Hmm…how to answer this question.
“I visit the libraries or my fellow brethren, usually Marcus. He is… special to me.” My answer is so boring. Reminds me my life is almost an existence of stasis.
“Oh…,” Levi’s tone is somber. I look to him trying to figure out why he seems upset. Before I can open my mouth to ask, he throws another question at me.
“Do you have a family, Sugar? Like a mother and father, or do angels just pop into existence.” Did Malacoda not tell him about his life in the heavens? Maybe he tries to avoid the topic of his fall.
“We are brought into the light with a vast knowledge of our calling by our Great Deity but he does not share his secret with us. One day I awoke on my cloud and knew where I needed to go.”
“The cloud you call home?”
“Yes”
“How did you find others?” It is odd explaining this to someone. I have never been around anyone who wasn’t born into the knowledge.
“We are all drawn to the undying fields upon arising. That is where I met the two others who came into existence with me on the same day Marcus and hmm… maybe just Marcus and I. It was very long ago. May I ask you something very personal?”
“Go for it,” he says it, ready for anything.
“Are you interested in having your own child? I ask because you are so sweet with Karina.”
“Karina is an amazing little girl, so bright and full of life. She has a whole future of possibilities, and I would destroy anything or anyone who would dare try and take that away from her.” His eyes are fierce, and his hand tightens slightly around mine with his vehemence. Levi will be her warrior, and it makes my heart melt at his paternal instincts.
“You have seen most of m
y life so I’m sure you know I have never been with a woman for longer than a couple of real dates… if you want to call them dates,” Levi says the last part mostly to himself but continues on. “I’m too afraid of passing on this legacy of eternal Hell and Damnation. To feed on someone’s pain is a parasitic existence.” He shakes his head. The light dimming from his eyes saddens me.
“My turn to ask you a question,” Levi says, trying to change the subject. I let him, not wanting to see his crestfallen face.
“Why have you not been intimate with anyone before me? Like with that Marcus guy.” Could he be jealous of Marcus, and why does it make my heart flutter? Until I realize I have to answer.
“I never experienced those…urges before.” I can feel the blush heat from my cheeks down my neck.
“Celine, did you watch everything I did?” His lips curl into a sinful smile. One that makes my sex tingle, knowing what that delectable mouth can do.
“You are more than a Watcher. You’re a dirty little voyeur.” Levi chuckles, and I go scarlet red. He makes me feel like a pervert. Maybe I am, because for the life of me I would try to look away, but always I would cave and be excited by the image of him finding his release. I try not to think of all the women he has been with and how inexperienced I am. Do not dwell on it, Celine. You will drive yourself mad. Ask him why, do not ask how many.
