‘I fucking love it, Eva.’ Shelly grinned.
The nervous twitch in Eva’s neck was now becoming an uncomfortable thumping in her vein. She was worried that her head might explode. She looked at Shelly’s rosy cheeks and the smile that was cemented to her face like a Botox side effect. Eva wondered what good sex would feel like. She didn’t have much experience to judge from. Her first boyfriend had offered to ‘pop her cherry’, as he put it, back when they were freshmen. Eva hadn’t realised it was a contract open to terms and conditions. Those conditions included; roughly pushing inside her for ten minutes in his parents’ basement until he came all over her, leaving a sticky mess on her favourite dress. The following night, he offered her classmate the same experience.
‘It’s okay, Eva. Go back in.’ Shelly tilted her head toward the door she left slightly ajar behind her.
‘No, please. I can’t. I don’t know what to say.’
‘I don’t think he wants to talk.’ Shelly winked again. Eva wished she would stop doing that. It implied that Eva understood the hidden meaning of her sentence. Eva didn’t, or at least she wanted to pretend she didn’t.
‘He didn’t finish, so just be prepared.’
‘Prepared for what?’
‘He can be a bit rough when he’s frustrated. Just be confident. Tell him to slow down if you’re not comfortable. He’s rough, but he’s not an asshole. He will listen.’
Eva gulped. A huge lump of air forced its way down her throat, threatening to choke her. Shelly nodded her approval as Eva’s head bobbed up and down - taking in every word. If Mr. Doe tried any funny business, she would throw the words ‘sexual misconduct’ out there and hope it scared him off.
Eva stopped just before the door and looked back at Shelly.
‘Good luck,’ Shelly said, flicking the back of her hand back and forth, ushering Eva inside.
Eva needed more than luck. She needed a personality transplant. She didn’t belong in the world of casual sex, and gate crashing her boss mid-fuck made the whole situation ten times worse. She crossed her hands and placed them on her chest. She took one last deep breath, held it for a moment, and released hard. It made her dizzy. Still shaking, she thrust herself forward like a bullet from a gun, taking huge steps. She didn’t stop until she was standing in the middle of the room. The door slammed shut with a loud thud. She jumped dramatically before scolding herself for not seeing it coming.
‘Don’t you ever fucking knock?’ Mr. Doe asked.
Eva was about to apologise, but she remembered their conversation from the day before. He was already frustrated. She didn’t want to make things worse.
‘Shelly told me to come in.’
‘Did Shelly also tell you to spy on me?’
Eva’s shaking became worse. She was horribly aware of her hands as they clutched the sides of her dress, swishing it back and forth gently. She wanted to explain. But her bottom lip was quivering uncontrollably; she knew her speech would come out like she was riding a bike down a bumpy road. Be confident, she warned herself. Confident people don’t mumble.
‘The door was open.’ Eva said firmly.
‘Fiery, aren’t you?’ Mr. Doe laughed. ‘Have a seat.’
Eva knew it was an order, not a suggestion. She moved to the side and sat in the only chair she could see; a soft leather recliner.
‘Did you like what you saw?’ Mr. Doe asked.
Eva wanted to shoot down his inappropriate question and storm out. He was challenging her, she knew, she just didn’t know why. There were many other girls in the office who would love to accept his advances. They were pretty and more popular than Eva. She couldn’t see why he had any interest in her. She wondered if she should tell him that she wasn’t a virgin. It was the only explanation Eva could think of; he wanted to break her in. It was probably like some sort of conquest for him. Maybe he kept score, or got Shelly to do it for him on some big fancy spreadsheet he designed himself. Eva instantly felt bad. She liked Shelly. She didn’t like to think of her that way.
‘I didn’t see anything.’ Eva finally brought herself to say.
‘You’re lying, Ms. Andrews. I don’t like liars.’
‘And I don’t like perverts,’ Eva snapped back.
‘Listen to yourself, throwing names around like you know shit. You haven’t a clue what you’re talking about. I’m a grown man. I can fuck whom I like, when I like. Got that?’
Eva knew she had really pissed him off. He had a point, but he didn’t have to shove sex in her face like it was some kind of trophy.
‘Well, you can’t have me.’ Eva said.
Mr. Doe laughed. A dry, loud, snorty laugh. ‘Who the hell said anything about having you?’
Eva paused. He was twisting things. ‘The girls talk,’ she explained.
‘I’m sure they do.’
That was it? He was just going to agree. It was that simple? Eva was so confused.
‘They said when you get called upstairs, you know…’ Eva waited to see if he would correct her. If he would tell her that they were all hideous rumours, and really, he was a good guy who was happily married or some other equally pathetic excuse.
‘You know what, exactly?’ he finally asked, after what felt like an eternity.
‘…you know,’ Eva shook her head. ‘It’s only for one thing.’
‘And what is that one thing, Ms. Andrews?’
Eva blushed, so hard, she worried she would light up the room with the glow of her face. ‘Sex, I guess.’
‘You guess?’
‘No. I know.’ Eva cleared her throat. ‘You call girls from the office up here so you can have sex with them. You think because you’re rich and successful that you can sleep with whoever you want.’
‘No,’ Mr. Doe corrected her sternly. ‘I don’t think I can fuck whoever I want. I know I can.’
Eva was appalled. She was about to reiterate her point that she was unattainable, but Mr. Doe didn’t offer her the opportunity.
‘I can have every girl I want. It doesn’t mean I want every girl…I don’t want you.’
Eva’s shaking changed. She wasn’t shy and intimidated anymore; she was furious and humiliated.
She stood up and began to walk away.
‘Don’t tell me you’re upset,’ Mr. Doe said. ‘You didn’t want to be here. You made it very clear that my lifestyle disgusted you. But now that I don’t want to include you in that life, you’re not happy. It would seem there is no pleasing you, Ms. Andrews. Now, since we have established what you haven’t barged into my office for, would you like to tell me what you are here for?’
Maybe Eva wanted him to please her. Maybe she wanted him to make her come twice like he did with Shelly. Maybe she wanted him to catch her, hoist up her dress, and fuck her right there on his office sofa. Maybe she didn’t know what in the hell she wanted.
‘You invited me to the ball,’ Eva said, turning around. ‘You said I have to go. I thought everyone had to go, but they don’t. It’s just me.’
‘Ms. Andrews, I can assure you, it is not just you.’
Eva shook her head. She could hear how stupid her argument sounded. She meant it was only her who had no choice. Everyone else could choose whether or not they would go. Like Nathan. But she was denied that decision. It wasn’t fair. But she couldn’t say that. It made her sound like a spoiled five-year-old.
She fished out the crumpled piece of paper from her cardigan pocket and used the light from her phone to read the print at the bottom.
‘There,’ she said, running her fingers across the words. ‘RSVP.’
‘Yes. And I’m accepting your RSVP personally. It’s a courtesy that I don’t offer all my staff. Is there a problem here?’
‘No…it’s just…’
‘It’s just, you thought that if I invited you to the ball, I must want to fuck your brains out.’
‘Well…er…’ Eva was mortified. ‘Well, yeah.’
‘There are over three hundred people invited to the
ball,’ Mr Doe explained. ‘I can assure you, I do not want to fuck them all. It would be quite exhausting.’
Eva laughed. Not a nervous giggle or a bid to break the silence. It was a proper laugh. She finally relaxed. Maybe with three hundred other people there, she could simply blend in somewhere at the back. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed…’
‘What did I tell you about apologising? You’re not weak, Ms. Andrews, we’ve established that. You’re possibly the first woman ever to challenge me. It was actually rather hot. Maybe I do want to fuck you after all.’
Eva laughed again, slightly concerned that he wasn’t joking.
‘Take the parcel from Shelly,’ Mr. Doe said. ‘I think you’ll like it.’
Eva nodded and stood up. She was leaving the room with much more respect for Mr. Doe than when she entered.
‘Oh, and one more thing,’ he called after her. ‘Do you have shoes?’
Eva looked at her feet. It was an odd question. Of course, she had shoes.
‘Buy a pair of goddamn high heels, will you?’
‘Okay.’
9
Eva carried the large, rectangular box too high. It blocked her view, and she almost fell out of the elevator. Shelly had offered to help, but Eva knew she would ask questions about what went on in the office and she really didn’t want to explain. They’d parted ways exchanging mutual nods and smiles, and Eva was relieved to return to the familiarity of her office floor.
She wobbled toward her desk. Heads turned as she passed, and she knew they had their suspicions about what she was doing upstairs. And returning, carrying a giant box filled with who-the-hell-knows-what; tongues would wag. Eva walked extra slowly. It was a complete contradiction to her usual head down and hurry by approach. At that moment, with a gift from Mr. Doe resting in her tiring arms, she wanted the whole office to notice her. And one person’s attention meant more than the rest of the office added together.
She wasn’t disappointed. Meghan’s expression was priceless. It almost made up for the year of shit she’d dealt Eva’s way.
Eva placed the box on her desk and waited. She was beyond curious about its content, but Eva knew Meghan would appear any moment and she didn’t want to risk being mid-rummage when she did. Eva waited. She waited and waited. Meghan didn’t come. Finally, unable to hold herself back any longer, she tugged at the slightly tangled gold ribbon that wrapped around the box like a beautiful frame. The box stared back at her, two separate halves now waiting to be pried apart. Eva stretched her neck and tilted her head, glancing around the office. No one was looking. She blinked and took a deep breath to re-focus. One, two, three…she counted silently…open. Her hands shook as she lifted the lid and placed it neatly on the floor beside the legs of her chair. Soft, crinkled cream paper rested inside. She slowly removed layer after layer until they revealed a delicate white mask. Eva wriggled her fingers before reaching in and picking it up. Its finely polished surface gave the impression of fine bone china, but it was lighter than that. It was beautifully simple with two holes for eyes, and a small raised mould to allow room for a nose underneath. It was small, yet big enough to cover the whole upper half of Eva’s face. She placed it gently on her desk, conscious not to bump or scrape its elegant surface and searched through the remaining paper for a note. She didn’t find one. She didn’t understand. What was she supposed to do with it?
As predicted, Meghan finally arrived at Eva’s desk. ‘So, how are you going to decorate it? Meghan asked.
‘Decorate it?’
‘Yeah, you know, add a little sparkle or something,’ Megan pointed.
‘I think I’ll just leave it the way it is,’ Eva smiled. ‘It’s pretty and simple.’
‘It’s blank.’ Meghan pointed to the corner of the mask peeking out from where Eva had hurriedly tried to hide it under an open folder. ‘Blank tells us nothing.’
‘I don’t think it’s blank,’ Eva said. ‘Just plain, I suppose.’
‘Fitting,’ Meghan mumbled under her breath. ‘But it’s not like Mr. Doe will be interested in a plain mask.’
Eva looked back at the mask. She doubted Mr. Doe cared very much about it. Meghan was probably just trying to freak her out. It was working. Unless…Oh, my Gosh…was Meghan jealous? Eva quickly brushed the idea off as ridiculous. Meghan had nothing to be jealous of. She was borderline perfect.
‘The theme is bare your soul, Eva. The mask is supposed to be a metaphor for your hidden desires, what your soul wants. Don’t you get that?’
Of course, Eva got it. It wasn’t rocket science. It was a bit weird though. Why would anyone want to wear their soul on their face? And especially in a room full of their colleagues. Forget weird, it bordered on creepy, Eva decided. She wanted more than ever to run away and hide. Beautiful mask or not, it wasn’t enough to hide her.
I bet yours has a picture of a hooker fucking a giant dildo, Eva wanted to shout. Instead, her sentence passed her lips somewhat more reserved. ‘I look forward to seeing yours. I’m sure it’s lovely.’
Meghan flicked her hair over her shoulder and exaggerated a smile, almost blinding Eva with the shine from her irritatingly white teeth and walked away.
‘Bare your soul,’ Eva snorted, picking up the mask again. ‘Stupid theme.’
She would have to explain the theme to Julian, and he would probably think it was stupid, and think she was stupid, and…Oh, Christ, Julian. She forgot all about his email. It was hours ago. He would think she was ignoring him.
Crap, crap, crap! She scrolled through the tons of new messages in her cluttered inbox. She couldn’t find his email. Maybe she could text to explain instead. She grabbed her phone from her neon-pink, fairy wings holder perched on her desk. Five missed calls and three text messages blinked at her. All from the same number; Julian’s number.
Good morning, gorgeous.
The first message was just three simple words that lit Eva’s face up.
I tried calling u but no reply.
Is everything okay?
She didn’t feel so good reading the second message.
R u ok, Evangeline?
I want 2 invite u 2 dinner 2nite.
Round 8?
Let me know.
Julian.
Eva was starting to panic now; it really looked like she was ignoring him. She checked the time of the last text and compared it to his last call. He hadn’t phoned again after. He was obviously bored or angry. She needed to fix the situation, fast.
_____________________________
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Good Morning
Date: Wed 15th July 16.20
Hi Julian,
I would love to join you for dinner - thanks.
Where should I meet you?
Eva
P.S. I wasn’t ignoring you today, it’s just been
crazy busy here. The boss sprung something on
me that I wasn’t prepared for.
Evangeline Andrews
Administrator
Ignite Technologies
Block 6
Plaza Exchange
Dublin 2
_________________
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Good Morning
Date: Wed 15th July 16.22
Hi Evangeline,
Good to hear from you. Still playing games, I
see. I’ll pick you up at seven.
Yours,
Julian
Eva wasn’t sure if she wanted to give him her
address. He was still a stranger, after all, and
what if he turned out to be a complete freak?
Oh, fuck it, she’d spent half her life hiding
from freaks and it was boring. Maybe she
should let herself live a little. Just this once.
__________________
T
o: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Good Morning
Date: Wed 15th July 16.23
Games? No. Really, I was busy.
By the way, I’m in Greystones.
36 The Lawns.
It’s easy to find. It faces the beach.
Eva xx
Evangeline Andrews
Administrator
Ignite Technologies
Block 6
Plaza Exchange
Dublin 2
Shit, shit. shit…no backing out now, she thought. She really hoped she’d done the right thing.
________________
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Good Morning
Date: Wed 15th July 16.24
You’re the Queen of games, Evangeline.
Playing hard to get today. Hats off to you, you
had me worried.
Julian
P.S. BTW two kisses at the bottom of an email
is Irish code for I want to kiss you later. I
would be more than happy to oblige.
_________________
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Good Morning
Date: Wed 15th July 16.25
What kissing code? I’ve never heard
of that.
Eva xxx
Evangeline Andrews
Administrator
Ignite Technologies
Block 6
Plaza Exchange
Dublin 2
Eva’s fingers shook as she typed an extra kiss after her name. She hit send and held her breath.
Playing Irish Page 7
