Eva felt like she had just been slapped in the face. Is that really what people thought. That Julian was mannerly and thanked his guests for coming, but she was a stuck-up bitch who wouldn’t be bothered with the little people? Why didn’t he explain? Had he done it on purpose?
‘Shelly, it wasn’t like that,’ Eva said. ‘I fell asleep. I didn’t even know he was gone.’
‘Sure,’ Shelly said, staring at her blank computer screen.
‘No, seriously, please believe me? I know you’re angry that I’ve taken Julian. But it’s not like that. That’s why I’m here. It’s over between us.’
It’s over between us, Eva repeated in her head. Jesus that sounded weird. Us? Were they ever an us? She didn’t think they were, but the term had just slipped so easily off her tongue, like it was the natural description of their relationship.
Shelly laughed loudly. Eva was mortified, instantly deciding that if Shelly found it that funny, then they were definitely never an us.
‘I’m sorry, okay?’ Eva said, desperate to say something that might make Shelly stop laughing.
‘You think I’m pissed about the Mr. Doe thing? Jaysus, Eva. I’m so not. This is the way it goes. I knew it was coming. That’s cool.’
Eva made a face. ‘What then?’
‘You left me with the boring, nerdy-fuck Nathan. I ended up bringing him home and shagging him twenty ways backwards across the kitchen table.’
‘Oh shit, Shelly. I’m sorry.’
‘Now he won’t stop calling me. Even today. I have two voicemails and three missed calls.’
‘That sounds about right,’ Eva said. ‘Just ignore him.’
‘I would, but we’ve a date tonight.’
‘A date? But I thought you said he was a boring fuck.’
‘He is. But a fuck’s a fuck, and he’s not half-bad. We’re going for drinks, and I plan to test out the rest of the kitchen furniture after.’
Eva tried to hold it in, but she snorted loudly and then let out a monstrous fit of slightly horrified giggles.
‘Sounds adventurous,’ Eva said, slurping in huge gulps of air between words as she continued to laugh more than she had in ages.
Shelly’s phone rang and Eva tried her best to curb her laughter.
‘It’s him. I better get this,’ Shelly said, smiling.
Eva nodded and gestured goodbye with a tiny wave as she walked away. She rolled her shoulders and stood so firmly upright, her spine cracked softly in response. She knocked twice on Julian’s door and waited for an answer.
It would normally be rather difficult to hear the elevator doors open from the end of the long corridor, or over Shelly’s shameless flirting on the phone. But Eva was so on edge waiting for Julian, she’d probably have heard a pin drop. The familiar bell as the elevator arrived behind Eva made her jump. She’d grown so used to the dull three-note tone from visiting Mr. Doe that it often got stuck in her head on repeat on the train on the way home from work. Mr. Doe? Wow, just thinking of that alias made Eva feel strange. This wasn’t Mr. Doe’s office anymore, it was Julian’s. But no matter how hard Eva tried, she couldn’t equate the two to form one man.
She turned around slowly, knowing what to expect. Julian stood waiting, one foot crossed over the other, his back leaning against one side of the doors, effortlessly holding them open. One arm was bent at his elbow and his fingers rested on the same shoulder, loosely holding his dark-grey suit jacket and letting it drape behind his back.
‘Evangeline,’ he said, cocking an eyebrow.
Shelly mumbled a non-coherent goodbye and quickly put down the phone receiver.
The tension was almost unbearable. Eva knew she didn't imagine it; Shelly looked so tense tucked behind her desk, almost hiding. Her forehead was riddled with frown lines, which totally went against her five-step anti-wrinkle programme. Eva knew Shelly wouldn’t compromise her preservation of eternal youth unless it was very serious. Frowning was as serious as it got.
Excessive drama or not, Eva was glad Shelly was there. She knew Julian’s principals would never allow him to be rude, he’d have to acknowledge Shelly and they’d have to make small talk for a few moments at least. A few moments weren’t much, but it was, hopefully, enough to pull herself together and calm her nerves. Eva knew whether it was moments, days, or even weeks, she’d probably never fully be able to prepare herself for what lay ahead. Maybe she should change her mind. A year as Julian’s chosen girl would be mind blowing. She’d had a taste of that life over the last two weeks and her life had already been changed forever. Imagine what a year could do. Eva pushed the thought to the back of her mind; she couldn’t allow herself to entertain the idea. It wouldn’t take much to fall for his charm once he turned it on, so she had to have all shields ready, no room for emotions now. This was so over. It had to be.
Eva tried not to look Julian up and down, but it was almost impossible when he looked so delicious. Something about the slim fit of his tailored shirt or the soft lines of his expensive suit trousers turned her on more than anything else he wore. The clothes hugged his body with classic elegance and an image of Julian’s naked body rushed into Eva’s head.
‘You look well,’ he said, smiling.
Eva wondered if it was a genuine compliment or if it was a deliberate effort to make her aware of her appearance. She adjusted her skinny black jeans and oversized coral blouse. She hated the outfit, but it was one of the few remaining items left in her wardrobe that he hadn’t bought her. It didn’t seem appropriate to wear his gifts today.
‘Hold my calls, gorgeous,’ he said, winking at Shelly. ‘I could be a while.’
Eva looked to Shelly for reassurance, but she was immersed in her work and looked every inch the dedicated professional. Eva knew she was on her own in this. It was probably for the best, she decided. Get it over with as soon as possible. Every second that passed was exaggerated by her racing heart, beating so fast it made breathing a challenge. She felt like a hyperventilating hyena. Christ, this was not how she wanted today to go. She knew she wouldn’t be calm, that was a given, but this was ridiculous. She was on the verge of passing out.
Julian stepped forward and leaned in Eva’s direction, but he left one hand casually behind him holding the elevator door open. Eva hurried toward him, uncomfortably aware that he was waiting. Was he leaving the next move up to her? Did he want to see how she’d react under pressure? Eva rolled her shoulders; she was, as always, over analysing it. He was just holding the lift; it wasn’t a test. People held lifts all the time. But most people didn’t have a power over her like he had.
She stood in front of him with an awkward distance between them. Even in four-inch wedges, the top of her head fell just shy of his chin. Julian remained painfully still but his eyes burned into hers. Eva had no doubt now that it was a test. He was challenging her to keep it together. She tried to think of some rivetingly exciting start to a conversation, but she was coming up blank.
She finally managed a sheepish, ‘Good morning.’
‘Good morning, Ms. Andrews.’
‘Ms. Andrews?’ Eva echoed. ‘We’re back to the formalities, then?’
Julian tilted his head slowly. ‘Professional as always.’
Professional? Fuck professional. He wasn’t professional when he moonlighted as a fake escort and was curling his fingers inside her. Or when he wrapped his lips around her pebbled nipples. Was it really that easy for him to switch back to little more than estranged colleagues?
‘Julian, please, this isn’t how I want it to be.’
Julian’s eyes narrowed, he looked irritated, ‘On the contrary, Ms Andrews. This is very much how you do want it. You’re the decision-maker now. You’re in control.’
Eva studied his magnificent brown eyes. It was hard not to get lost in his beauty, but she was looking for the emotion that he always tried so hard to hide. His eyes were his tell, she’d learned that. And his eyes were telling her that he was hurt. She’d hurt him. She’d never intended
to and he’d never admit it, she knew that. But she’d hurt him. But was it just his pride or had she affected something deeper. She wished she had the courage to ask.
‘Shall we?’ Julian said, stepping back into the lift.
‘We’re going down?’
Julian cocked an eyebrow, even now he couldn’t let an unintentional innuendo slip by unacknowledged.
‘Julian,’ Eva scolded, trying to hide a giggle. ‘I mean…are we not going back to your office?’
Julian smiled and shook his head.
44
Julian and Eva wandered around the park for quite a while. Julian even stopped to feed the ducks. It was normal, comfortable, mundane even - and very not Julian. The conversation flowed effortlessly. Eva told Julian more about her life in New Jersey and he tolerated her questions about his childhood, although his yes/no answers left her with more questions than before she started.
Heavy rain erupted out of nowhere and Julian caught Eva’s hand and pulled her quickly under a nearby tree for cover. It was the first time they’d touched all day and Eva instantly wanted more. Julian pulled her close to him and kissed her forehead.
‘I can’t do this,’ Eva said, a huge lump forming in her throat.
‘I’ve heard that before.’ Julian kissed her forehead again.
‘That’s not helping.’
‘What, this?’ Julian kissed her a third time and slowly lowered his lips to brush her cheek and then lower still until his warm breath grazed her neck.
‘Em-hm, that.’
Eva was melting. Fuck it; he was only kissing her neck, and she was unravelling like a ball of wool rolling across the floor.
‘You’re looking for a fairy-tale, Evangeline. I’m not Prince Charming. I’ve told you that.’
Eva snorted. If there was one thing she knew for certain; it was that Julian was as far from Prince Charming as they came. She tried to smile, but the pain in her heart made it hard.
‘I can’t be your booty call, Julian. It’s not who I am.’
‘Do you know who you are?’
Eva stepped back and pulled a face.
‘Of course, I know who I am.’
‘I don’t believe you do. I’ve known you two weeks, and, already, I know you better than you know yourself.’
‘Jesus, Julian. Cocky much?’
‘It’s not cocky, Evangeline. Just an observation. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t make me cocky. It does, however, make me right.’
‘Aren’t you always right?’
Julian raised his eyebrows and smirked. He wasn’t even going to try to deny it. Eva had to smile in spite of herself. She didn’t expect anything less from him.
Julian reached inside his suit jacket and pulled out a white envelope and handed it to her.
‘Don’t open it now,’ he said.
Eva ran her fingers along the side of the crisp white paper.
‘What is it?’
‘Just something to help you figure out some stuff you don’t know about yourself.’
‘I know all I need to,’ Eva said defensively.
‘When you look inside, you’ll feel differently.’
Eva’s fingers twitched and the envelope shook, she knew Julian could see her nerves.
‘You amaze the hell out of me, Evangeline. This was never about just fucking you; I can fuck any girl I like. But I didn’t want just any girl. Do you understand?’
Eva nodded.
He made her feel special, so special, but she knew it was temporary. Julian Harte could never belong to anyone. He could never belong to her.
‘This is my contract, isn’t it?’ Eva said, wanting so badly to rip the envelope to pieces and rewind time. She’d rewind to the ball, she’d react differently, and she’d accept his offer and be the object of his desire. She’d worry about the rest at the end of the year. She’d worry about feeling exactly how she felt now at the end of the year. She’d worry about having her heart broken at the end of the year. At the end of the year…not now…not now.
‘No, Evangeline. It’s not. If you are leaving, it’s your decision. I’m not going to make it easier for you.’
Eva couldn’t control her sobs now. Her body shook and heaved as she cried.
‘Your decision, Evangeline. Your decision.’
Eva looked into his eyes; she could barely see him, her eyes were so clouded over by tears.
‘You want me to say it?’
Julian nodded.
‘Can’t you just fire me? Inappropriate conduct or something? I’ve been sleeping with the boss.’
Julian laughed. ‘If that was the case, Evangeline, I would have to let half the female staff in the office go.’
Eva wrinkled her nose, disapprovingly.
‘You’re on your own with this one, Evangeline. Come on, you’re stronger than you think. It’s two words. You can say them.’
Eva shook her head. She didn’t want to.
‘Evangeline, say them.’
‘I’ve changed my mind.’ Eva sobbed.
‘No, you haven’t. The one thing you do know about yourself is that’s not who you are. I know that about you too. Now say them.’
Eva was crying so hard, she was almost doubled over. Julian ran his hand down her tear-stained cheek and flicked his finger under her chin so she could meet his stare. ‘Evangeline?’
Eva exhaled slowly. ‘I quit.’ Her body felt one hundred times heavier than before.
Julian smiled. ‘Good girl.’
He stepped back. She was hoping for one last kiss, but there was a distance between them now. He was business as usual. The moment was over.
Julian tilted his head toward the park gate and looked at the small, expensive coffee shop on the corner. Eva was distracted for a moment, wondering if it was his favourite, too.
‘Shelly and fresh coffee are waiting for you inside.’
Butterflies fluttered around Eva’s tummy. How did he know? Just when she thought she didn’t know what to do, he had suggested the one thing that could make her feel better, coffee in her favourite brassiere with her best friend. And he had just proven that, yes, he did know her better than she knew herself.
Eva turned around to look through the store window. Shelly was sitting inside flicking through the pages of a magazine. She turned back to thank Julian, but he was already walking away. He didn’t look back. Eva wanted to shout after him, but she bit her lip and distracted herself by opening the white envelope she’d been gripping so tightly her fingers hurt.
There was a handwritten note inside.
Evangeline,
You surprise the hell out of me. Now, go surprise yourself.
Love,
J xx
45
Shelly stood up and hugged Eva as she reached her table.
‘You okay?’ Shelly asked softly, sliding a large, skinny cappuccino across the table to Eva.
Eva shook her head. ‘But I’m so glad you’re here.’
‘It was the first email in my priority inbox this morning. Instructions from Mr. Doe. I wasn’t allowed to tell you, but I had to come here and have coffee waiting for you at eleven. Oh, and randomly to make sure my passport was in date. Weird.’
‘And is it?’
‘Weird? Yeah, it totally is. I never get personal emails from him, really.’
Eva laughed. ‘No, silly. I mean, is your passport okay?’
Shelly narrowed her eyes. ‘Well, yeah, I think so, but why?’
‘This is why.’ Eva took two rectangular tickets out of the white envelope and placed them on the table in front of Shelly.
Shelly leaned forward and read the printed information in front of her. ‘Newark,’ she shrieked. ‘Oh, my God, we’re going to New Jersey.’
Shelly picked up the two plane tickets off the table and waved them over her head like a flag. ‘Fuck, yeah. New Jersey, here we come.’
‘And first class,’ Eva added quietly.
Shelly shrieked even louder. ‘First fuckin
g class. Holy shit, Eva.’
Eva smiled. ‘He wants me to go home, Shell. He’s found my mum, and he wants me to go back.’
Shelly instantly calmed. ‘Eva, that’s huge. Are you okay?’
‘It’s what he wants. He thinks I’m broken, and I need to face my demons. Mortifying, huh?’
Shelly’s body language changed so much she was almost a different person. ‘And you think?’
‘I think he knows me so well it scares the shit out of me.’
‘Sooo?’ Shelly smiled.
A huge smile burst across Eva’s face. ‘Sooo….pack your bags. I’m going home.’
Shelly scrunched her shoulders tight and punched the air. ‘Woo-hoo. It’s going to be amazing.’
Eva closed her eyes and sighed. ‘It’s going to be amazing,’ she repeated.
And she really hoped it was.
***
Julian had stayed out of the office the rest of the week. He couldn’t stand the girl who was subbing for Shelly. He’d spent the last few days in the country, riding and making some minor repairs to the paddock and stables. Of course, he had a staff for that kind of thing, but he never expected them to do anything he wasn’t prepared to do himself. And besides, he was glad for the distraction. But Monday had come around again too fast for his liking, and he couldn’t let things at work slide any further.
He looked at his watch, it was just past ten and he sat nursing cold coffee and stared out the window. Bright, daylight filled his office. Evangeline Andrews filled his head. A pile of unsigned, important documents were scattered to toppling point on the desk behind him, and unread emails clogged his inbox. Julian was a workaholic; he knew it and embraced it. It shaped who he was and made him very wealthy and powerful. But there was something different today, his work ethic was dented. Eva’s flight was due to land shortly. She was home. For the last two weeks, setting Eva free from herself had been his job. As with all aspects of his life, Julian had applied himself one hundred percent to the task and had, as always, achieved phenomenal results. He taught Eva how to be a strong, independent woman with the power to make tough decisions and see them through. He knew her decision to walk away from him was her toughest yet and he was proud of her. But he wondered when she would realise that. Julian tapped his pen against his lip and a defiant grin swept across his face. ‘Round one to you, Evangeline. Round two…game on.’
Playing Irish Page 27
