He wraps his arm tighter around my waist without pulling me closer. I raise a perfectly plucked eyebrow when he smiles. “I don’t want to mess you up before your date.”
I snort.
“He’s a good man, Cass,” Phil says quietly, among the chaos in taffeta swirling around us. “He should be on his knees, thankful you said yes.”
“You’re making me freak out even more now, Phil,” I say, half-joking, wringing my hands before wiping them down the front of my jeans.
“Don’t be. It’s your first date. If these girls can handle it, I know you can. You need to know dating isn’t something you can plan or control. You need to be ready to jump, be ready to take chances, to be scared to death, to be hurt, and to laugh. And promise me you won’t hold back the amazing woman I know you are.” He kisses me on the temple. When he turns me to face him, his blue eyes lock with mine before he takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I’ve waited a long time to say this, Little Girl.”
I am clearly confused. “Say what?”
He swallows hard. “You are strength, you are fire, and you are beauty, Cass. It’s time to let others see it.”
Tears begin to fill my eyes, making them brighter than normal.
“Ah, screw it,” Phil says as he pulls me close. “I know living with me is like being on a spin cycle, but never doubt my love for you, Cassidy. Enjoy your first date, little one.” He steps back, wiping under my eyes. Humor sets his eyes dancing before he says, “And if you choose to sleep with him, use protection.”
“You ass!” I exclaim, then clamp my hand over my mouth as a few of the senior students pass by, snickering at our conversation. Our eyes meet and we both start laughing again.
“What? It’s the same advice I gave to Ali, Holly, and Corinna when they went to UConn.” As I fall away from his arm, laughing, he winks before looking past me. “Think I should go rescue him?”
“Who?” I ask, having lost all sense of self and time.
“Caleb. He just walked in.”
I spin, my hair flying. As it settles, our eyes meet across the room. Cue the butterflies. “No,” I tell Phil. “I’ve got this.”
I’m so focused on Caleb, I barely hear Phil murmur, “I know you do, Little Girl.”
I take a few deep breaths as I begin to make my way through the makeshift dressing rooms, occasionally hearing mothers and daughters arguing about dresses over the music being played through the sound system.
As I get closer, Caleb’s eyes run from the top of my head to my shoes, and back up again. His eyes darken in what I think is appreciation.
“Hello, Pixie.” His voice is dark and sexy as he holds out his hand.
“Hello, Caleb.” I try to keep my voice under control, tentatively reaching out my hand. He grabs it and gently tugs me toward him. Despite the sky-high shoes, Caleb is topping me by around eight inches in height. Amazingly, I don’t feel overwhelmed. I don’t feel intimidated. I feel like curling my body against his. I’ll have to think about that one later. When I can think, that is.
“So, what do we have here?” he murmurs next to my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
Jesus. He’s only holding my hand. We’re not touching anywhere else, and the feelings are stampeding through my body. It’s startling. It’s exciting. It’s scary as fuck.
“Where, here?” I say stupidly, taking a step back and returning his perusal.
Caleb is wearing jeans, a black, button-down shirt that could be painted on his muscles with the sleeves rolled up. He’s also wearing his customary boots. His eyes are the color of the deepest, darkest chocolate desert, ones I would love to indulge in. He smiles and waves his hand, encompassing the room, and it clicks.
“Oh, here!” I try to control my blush. I figure I’ve lost that battle when he starts to laugh.
I give him a brief explanation of the dress extravaganza, my hands moving as I gesture around the room. He’s attentive, asking about how many people we have in the program, and the number of businesses from Collyer who participate, when I realize I’ve been talking for a while and I start blushing.
“I’m sorry. This is kind of my baby. I could go on for a while about it. Well, we should probably get going if we’re meeting Ryan and Jared.” Anything to get out the door without embarrassing myself further.
He nods. “Actually, we do need to head out. Do you have a coat? It’s perfect out now, but it’s going to get cool later.”
I quirk my lips and make my way over to the closet where I grab my cashmere hooded poncho and purse.
“Ready?” he inquires while staring into my eyes.
Deep breaths, Cass. “Yes,” I say softly on an exhale.
He smiles and reaches for my hand to guide me out of the chaos and into the unknown.
I’m on a date.
We reach his car—a dark gray Porsche. Caleb walks me around to the passenger side, reaches for the door handle, and holds my hand to allow me to slide gracefully into the low-slung seat. He trots around the car and I can’t take my eyes off of him. My heart is beating wildly, but not from fear. I feel different around Caleb Lockwood than I do with other men.
I’m laughing at myself when he opens the door and slides in next to me. When his door closes, the air in the car is thick with an unknown emotion. We’re staring at each other. I haven’t even blinked my eyes until he speaks.
“Cassidy.” Nothing else, just my name. He smiles, and I can’t do anything but respond to it by smiling back. Did he hear me laughing and want to ask me about it?
“Yes?” I reply, waiting.
“Nothing. Just reminding you I know your name, Pixie.” I narrow my eyes at him and he smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
With a huff, I’m reaching for my seat belt when he grabs my hand. A slight flare of panic bursts through before I can control it. His eyes narrow, as if he can read my reaction.
One second passes, two. Slowly, he takes my wrist and brings it to his lips. “There’s nothing to fear with me, Pixie. It’s your pace the whole way.”
How can he know I needed that reassurance? I nod slowly, relaxing. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, Mr. Lockwood. If you expect me to be so impressed with this date that you’ll get a second, maybe we need to start the first?”
He grins and releases my hand before we both reach for our seat belts. Caleb brings the Porsche to life. After its initial purr to start, he puts it in gear and turns north toward Danbury.
Rosy Tomorrow’s has been a popular Danbury restaurant for over thirty-five years. Between the fishnets gracing the ceiling and the unique memorabilia on the walls, it’s hopping almost every night of the week. Having been here at least once a month since we moved to Collyer, I can honestly say they have some of the best French fries on the planet.
When Caleb and I walk in at 6:30, the restaurant is packed with easily an hour wait to be seated. Yes, the food is just that good. Normally when our family comes here, we order different dishes and pass them around the table.
As much as I’m nervous about this date thing, I kind of hope the Lockwoods and Jared have the same mentality about food. Otherwise, it might take me an hour to figure out what to eat. If I have to choose between buffalo calamari, lobster sliders, or the French dip, we might be here a while.
Caleb steps up to the hostess station to inquire where his brother is sitting when I get a text from Em telling me to have a great time. I quickly reply, thanking her for everything and asking about how the rest of the night went. She tells me not to worry and to have fun before Caleb makes his way back to me.
“Everything okay?” he asks, seeing my phone in my hand.
“Fine,” I reply. “Em was just letting me know she saw us leave and to have a good time.”
“Good. Let’s go meet Ry and Jared,” he says as we begin to make our way upstairs. “I have a lot of work to do to convince you to go out on a second date with me.”
I turn on the stairs, laughing, intendi
ng to toss a smart-ass comeback at him, not realizing he’s right behind me. With the stairs and my heels, our faces are almost perfectly aligned. Eye to eye, searching, probing for something, but what? A breath releases from my lips and I feel it reflect back on me from against his face. That’s how close he is.
Caleb leans forward and lightly brushes his lips against mine, the barest of touches, his eyes locked on mine. Shivers course through my body which I know he can feel.
Holy crap. Did that just happen? My first, first date kiss? On a staircase at Rosy Tomorrow’s?
I don’t know whether to be thrilled it happened or annoyed it wasn’t somewhere more memorable. I stand there blinking at Caleb at a loss for words.
“Keep walking, Pixie,” he says gruffly. Unable to do anything more, I resume climbing the stairs.
Brett Eldredge is crooning about being drunk on someone’s love when we reach the table. Ryan and Jared both stand. After the man-hug and back slapping that goes on between Caleb and both men, Ryan leans down and kisses my cheek.
“What on Earth made you accept a date with my brother, Cassidy?” He’s smiling, but his expression is one of pure curiosity.
“I’m still not entirely sure, Ryan. I’ll let you know at the end of the night. How about that?” I offer with a sideways look at Caleb. Caleb just shakes his head at me.
Maybe that’s how I get through this date thing, keep thinking of it as a joke.
Except the smile Caleb gives me as he passes the menu has butterflies kicking up in my stomach again. Our date is no joke to him.
“It can’t be because of his looks,” Ryan laments.
Caleb turns to his brother and merely raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, if you keep saying shit like that to Cassidy, I get to say crap to Jared since we’re practically twins, brother.”
“Or his well-educated word choice,” Ryan continues without missing a beat. “You would never know he went to Harvard, would you, Cassidy?”
“Really? Harvard? At least now I have a possible nickname for you,” I say, giving Caleb a look.
He sits back in his chair, crosses his arms over his broad chest and laughs. “Call me that in public and I’ll pull out your nickname. You seem to have more of an issue with yours than I would with mine.”
Dammit, he’s right. Now I openly glare at him until I hear Ryan and Jared laugh.
Jared controls himself enough to ask, “How did you get her to say yes again, Caleb?”
“Weak moment,” I mutter, causing all three men chuckle.
I look at Caleb who’s smiling broadly, and I feel the tension in my body release. I start to smile and get lost in Caleb’s eyes. The two of us could be alone at the table. All I see is the intensity of his gaze focused on me.
Without breaking eye contact, I answer Ryan. “Actually, it might have been the way he apologized so nicely for hitting on me before his future husbands arrived at our meeting the other day.”
Caleb groans loudly as I pat him on the cheek. Everyone bursts into laughter and I pull my burning hand away.
Wow. Holy sweet baby Jesus. Sixteen-year-old girls get through this? What are their mother’s feeding them?
13
Cassidy
About halfway through the meal, I begin to completely relax. I totally get why young girls can do this rite of passage and not have scars on their psyche.
A date. It’s fun.
After thinking it over during our appetizer, even that quick kiss Caleb dropped on me before, was more like a brotherly peck than anything to get worked up about, right?
While laughing at some story Ryan feels the need to share about Jared, I decide to get out of my head and just go with the flow. My laughter comes more freely, and I start teasing these men like I do my own family.
Ryan and Caleb start trading embarrassing stories about one another that have Jared and I reaching for napkins to wipe the tears from our eyes. Ryan catching Caleb in the hot tub with some girl when he was sixteen; Caleb catching Ryan in the cabana with a girl when he was seventeen. The staff at the Lockwood mansion busting them for parties when their parents would go out of town. These two brothers are a hoot when you get them together. Beyond the mischief, you can feel the outpouring of love they have for each other.
Maybe our families aren’t so different, even though one is through blood and one found their way to each other through chance.
I offer up a story about taking Ali, Corinna, and Holly college dress shopping, which has the three men groaning and offering their deepest empathy. Apparently, they can fully imagine losing Corinna to the cooking section of Macy’s, fighting with Ali over the length of her dress, and trying to find Holly because she got bored with the whole thing and wandered off to Best Buy to look at cameras.
By the end of my lament, Caleb has a huge grin on his face and Jared has his hand over his mouth, trying not to spit out his drink. Ryan says while sputtering with laughter, “This is why we hired you. You managed to not commit justifiable homicide!”
I don’t know if having a double date is a typical thing, but for me, I know having Ryan and Jared here with us has helped me enjoy it greatly. I’m sure there’s a world record here somewhere.
I can visualize the headline now, “Soon-to-be thirty-year-old has first date! Scoop on page…!” I stare off into space with a small smile on my face and shake my head slowly, not realizing Caleb’s eyes are on me.
He leans toward me. “Everything okay?” he murmurs close into my ear, inadvertently sending shivers down my back.
Great, all the tension missing from my body just came back in a rush. “I’m fine,” I bluff, reaching for my glass of water. I want a clear head for the most part. Caleb is potent enough.
He shoots me a mild look and reaches for my hand under the table. Closing his strong hand over mine, he gives mine a quick squeeze.
My breath hitches.
I expect him to let go, but he doesn’t. Instead, as he continues talking with Jared about a case, he starts to play with my fingers. His large, thick fingers curl between mine and drag them against each another, caressing them. He pulls my hand over to his thigh discreetly and begins to trace each digit with one of his.
I’m almost hyperventilating at this point. I have to escape.
Standing, I drop Caleb’s hand. His eyebrows raise. “Pardon me, gentlemen. Before we leave, I need to take a private moment.”
Grabbing my purse, I depart from the table and make my way to the restroom.
Slamming through the door, I race into the handicap stall. Locking the door, I whip out my cell phone as I slide to the floor with my back to the wall. Pulling up my messages, I text Em.
Cassidy: I don’t know if I can do this.
Em: What happened?!?!?
Cassidy: It was going fine. Casual. And then he was holding my hand under the table. Is this normal, Em?
Em: Oh, sweetheart.
Cassidy: What?
Em: It’s okay to be nervous, Cass. Holding your hand, even kissing you, isn’t a big deal.
I think for a moment. I need to tell her.
Cassidy: He did that too.
Em: WHAT?!?!?
Cassidy: Really quick. On the stairs as we were walking to the table.
Em: Well, holy hell. How did you react?
Cassidy: I think I was in shock.
Em: Right? No shit!
Cassidy: I’m so afraid he’s going to do something and I’m going to react, and then it’s going to mess everything up, including the business.
Finally, Em’s text comes through.
Em: First, I am so proud of you. I’ve been sitting here all night in tears. You have come so far, Cass. You’re so beautiful and so damn strong that no man, including Caleb Lockwood, is good enough for you. The idea you even said yes? This is HUGE! Second, trust your gut, love. It may be untried as an adult, but you know it works. Third, this may sound way out there, but do you want to give him a heads-up so he doesn’t push you too far? Maybe not everything, just th
at you’re not as experienced as he might think you are?
I read her message a few times, and read it again. And then I realize I’ve been in the bathroom for a long time. Really long. I quickly type back.
Cassidy: I’ve been gone a while. I’ll ping you later. Love you.
I make my way to my feet and stand at the sink. My face is pale. My eyes are wide. My chest is moving up and down with the force of my breaths as I contemplate Em’s last message.
Do I need to let him know what happened to me? How could I seriously think I could do this? Phil’s words about sixteen-year-olds being able to date come floating through my mind.
Bet they don’t have to contemplate discussions like this.
I unlock the stall, wash my hands and walk out of the restroom. I turn the corner outside the door and walk right into Caleb. He’s leaning one-shouldered against a wall. “Hey, Pixie. Everything okay? You were gone for a bit and I was starting to get worried.” He reaches out and holds onto my shoulders. One hand smooths up to tip my chin so my eyes meet his.
Meeting his gaze, I make my decision. Go with my gut.
“Is there somewhere we can go to talk before we go out? Somewhere private?” I ask softly.
He suddenly looks concerned, maybe a little nervous. “What’s wrong? Is something wrong with the family?”
Shaking my head, then nodding, I shake my head again. “There are things I need for you to know and understand.”
He slides one of his hands down my arm, setting off those sparks, and captures my hand. “We settled the bill at the table. Let’s head out to the car.”
14
Caleb
I knew the moment Cassidy relaxed at the dinner table because her smile went brilliant when it happened. The rest of the meal was spent trading quips back and forth with my brother and his fiancé.
Never has so much hinged on a first date. If it went good, I had more time with Cassidy. But, at some point, I’d have to explain how I know everything I do about the Freeman family. I think I would rather be back in Afghanistan facing roadside bombers and gathering on-site intel than talking to Cassidy about the things I know about her. It would implode us before we had a chance to begin. I had only gained a modicum of trust with this woman, and soon I would have to shatter it if we’re to move forward.
Free to Dream Page 12
