I was tossing out plans, going on gut instinct and intuition, and diving headlong into whatever may come for my chance with Caleb and for love.
It was the right move.
Wasn’t it?
18
Cassidy
I can’t remember the last time I consumed so much wine.
Snickering in remembrance, I think about how we were a bunch of drunk idiots, falling all over each other laughing. Each time one of us caught another’s eye, we were all set off again. To someone peering in the window, we must have looked like a bunch of deranged hyenas.
Family fun with food night continued long after my little demonstration. Swallowing my cappuccino, I think my throat hurts from the hysterical shrieking as Phil would randomly pick up one of his pieces of food art and proceed to show us how the pros did it.
I, of course, made it my mission to get Corinna to drink shots of the nasty cream and pickle juice mixture. What? Just because she’d actually sucked a cock didn’t get her out of Phil’s life lessons on blow jobs. Phil offered up his husband to me for a live demo, which both Jason and I politely declined, and then proceeded to laugh at Phil’s drunken audacity.
To call last night epic would be an understatement.
By the time Caleb started texting me, we had completely rewritten the description of food porn and killed about six bottles of wine. Ali and Em nabbed my phone out of my hands and started sending voice messages to Caleb over my phone. This escalated to dumping their drinks over their heads and a selfie of the three of us was sent. Quickly realizing how out of control we were, I told Caleb I would call him later. But shortly after Jason got me back to my place, I face-planted into my bed.
Nothing stops work though. We’ve got a small wedding out at Candlewood Lake on Saturday, an engagement brunch on Sunday, and a Lockwood-Dalton tasting Sunday evening for the main event. Perhaps more than one if Caleb and I manage to get together. A small smile plays on my lips. Yeah, my sisters said I showed the potential for mad oral skills last night.
Now, if the stars would just align so I could see Caleb.
I’m still sipping the cappuccino I picked up from my early morning trip to The Coffee Shop, where Ava and Matt continued to smirk over my continued revenge against Phil. I let out a little laugh as I hear him go on in his office to Ali and Em about the incredible taste of the new latte I’ve been bringing him lately, and how amazing it is that Ava and Matt figured out a way to take out the extra fat. Oh, Jason, you doll. While revenge is typically best served cold, this one is best served long-term—hot, with an extra dollop of whipped cream.
I’m comparing my daily schedules for the next few days, grateful for their lightness, when my phone pings.
Caleb: Do you have control over your phone again, or is it still in the custody of one of your sisters? ;)
I groan, remembering everything we sent to Caleb in a fit of drunkenness, and literally bang my head on the desk repeatedly. Has no one ever heard of a breathalyzer for a phone? Another ping.
Caleb: You’re going to leave a bruise on your head if you keep doing that to your head, Pixie. Your skin’s too delicate to put up with that kind of abuse.
I tense before my head snaps up, then my breath catches. My doorway is filled with Caleb, dressed in a navy blue, long sleeved polo, jeans, and boots, his windswept hair framing his rugged face. An amused smirk plays around his mouth as he continues to type on his phone. Finally raising his head, his smile broadens as the text reaches my phone and dings.
Caleb: Since I still don’t have your work schedule, I took a chance you might be available today after a night like that. I went by your house and you continue to amaze me. Here you are.
I begin to type a reply.
Cassidy: You know, you would know my work schedule if you simply signed the NDA, which can be accomplished right now since you’re here. Easy peasy.
I put my phone back on my desk and lean back in my chair with my hands folded over my stomach. A small smile plays on my lips at this game of push and pull we have going on. When his phone buzzes in his hand, he looks down and begins to type. My phone dings.
Caleb: I want you to trust me with the deepest parts of you—your heart and your soul, Cassidy. Wouldn’t an NDA for work almost be superfluous?
I don’t bother responding with a text. “You want in that deep?” I whisper. My heart is racing.
He immediately replies as he pushes his body away from the doorjamb, making his way toward me. “I thought I made that clear the other night. If I didn’t, that was a gross negligence on my part.”
The smile spreading across my face is enormous as I stand up, and I imagine it’s unlike any other I’ve ever worn.
Caleb reaches me and slides a muscled arm around my waist, pulling me to him. No hesitation. My head tips back, my eyes glowing. His are like liquid chocolate as they narrow on mine, his smile fading as his lips come close. I sink my fingers into the thick strands of his hair the minute his lips meet mine. There’s nothing tentative about this kiss. This kiss is about need, want, and desire. His for me, mine for him. I need his lips on mine to breathe under the tidal wave of emotion that’s just swept over me.
When our kiss breaks, I lean my head forward on his chest. I continue to scrape my nails against his neck, his scalp—wherever I can reach. Caleb nuzzles his nose and lips against the side of my neck while murmuring, “I missed you. Those texts last night drove me nuts. All I could think about was jumping in my car and showing up to be where you were.” He leans down and brushes his lips against mine again.
“After that kind of welcome, I’m kind of glad they did.”
He squeezes me tight. “What’s your day like?”
I lean back in his arms to focus on his face more clearly. “Actually, fairly light until Saturday morning. Why?”
“Come be with me, Cassidy.” He takes a deep breath. “Your pace all the way. I just want to have as much time as I can with you.” His eyes probe mine, worried he’s pressuring me too hard, too fast.
I think back to the conversation I had last night with my siblings. We might have only been on a few official dates, but they certainly weren’t the “So, you don’t like wearing blue? Why?” kind of a date.
He’s shown me his darkness, his laughter, and his light. We’ve spent hours upon hours talking about the most hidden parts of our souls, the areas we allow only those closest to us to access.
While I’m reminiscing, our eyes meet. A million words are said and yet not a word is spoken. I know if I go with him, I won’t be coming back the same.
I reach up and brush my lips against his. “Yes.”
Suddenly, I’m airborne and being swung in a tight circle against his body. Our faces are so close, our breath is being exchanged for one another's. It must be the reason I’m getting so heady, so dizzy.
“Seriously?” he whispers, disbelievingly.
“Do you want me to say no?” I tease.
Caleb puts me down and places his hands around my face, cupping my chin. “If you aren’t ready, yes, I do. There’s no rush. I’d wait as long as you need because I’m not going anywhere.” He leans forward and kisses my forehead, the tip of my nose, and then my lips. His eyes probe mine, waiting.
God, did he just say that?
The bonds beginning to wrap around my heart start to tangle, making my chest feel tight. What I feel is messy, complicated, and scary as shit. It’s a leap of faith the likes I haven’t taken since I grabbed Phil’s hand and he carried me through my own blood to escape hell into the streets of Jacksonville, to the dark unknown. It’s causing my heart to beat faster, my cheeks to flush, and my body to mold into his. I reach up, covering his hands on my face. Sliding my hands down, over his forearms, I feel the sprinkle of hair covering the thickly veined muscles. My hands make their way to his biceps, running over the curve of his shoulder before cupping his face in return.
His eyes are burning into mine over such a simple touch. When I reach up, pulling his he
ad toward me and return the same caress by brushing my lips against his forehead, his nose and his lips, he understands how moved I am without words.
Keeping his face close to mine, I whisper, “Pick me up in two hours at my house. I just need to throw a few things into a bag.”
He nods a few times, our faces still touching, before slowly detangling us. It’s as if he can’t bear to let our bodies not touch. With a kiss on the tips of my fingers and an expression on his face that requires me to remind myself to breathe, he’s out the door.
Two hours before my life changes.
19
Caleb
I can’t believe she’s here. On my rooftop deck, gazing out over Tribeca with joy, and a little bit of awe on her face.
Once again, I give a mental high five to my brother for his amazing job of fixing up our home in the historic Powell Building. Despite the high loft ceilings, white walls, and modern features in the kitchen and bath, Ry managed to soften the other surfaces with hardwood, Persian rugs, and artwork. As I was giving Cassidy a tour earlier, I gave Ry total credit, explaining that after living in tents for the better part of eight years, a mattress on the floor would probably have been perfect. When she pressed me on my favorite parts of the condo, I said it was easily the electronics system. God, it’s total man porn. That got me a completely feminine eye roll. Oh, and the fact that we have the private rooftop deck where you can just sit back and watch all of Tribeca go by.
She completely understands the rooftop deck. In the middle of crazy New York City, it’s the equivalent of her lake.
The condo is a showplace, but the view makes it a masterpiece. Particularly now that Cassidy Freeman is standing in the middle of it.
I sit back, slouching with my hands crossed behind my head in the lounger, as she snaps photo after photo on her cell phone and texts them to her sister Holly. I can’t honestly think of a single place in the world I would want to be right now but here.
How did she come to mean so much to me so fast?
She’s smart, dedicated, and quietly determined. She gives back to her community out of the goodness of her heart—not because it looks good on the society pages. She wears a tattoo as a badge of familial honor stronger than most people have for their blood families. Her caution isn’t a coy game; it was beat into her, almost costing her life. She has no idea who she is, and instead of giving up, she transformed herself into a devastating force.
I’m falling in love with this amazing woman who has told me so much about herself. Because of an unfailing sense of right and wrong. Because of wanting to be fair to me.
Her strength brings me to my knees.
Her honor is like a sword to my gut, slowly bleeding me.
I never thought I would say Keene was right.
What started as an issue to be dealt with in time is quickly becoming a tidal wave of guilt. I know so much more about her than she thinks I do. I’ve seen everything from former investigator reports, to court documents, to trial records, to testimony of former inmates associated with the man presumed to be her father and his associates.
What would she say if she knew?
She shared the beginning of her deepest secrets with me and I pretended not to know to allow her the free will to tell me on her own.
Will she understand that? Will she give me a chance to explain? Or will she run?
I close my eyes, imagining the worst, and must make some kind of noise as I do.
Cassidy spins around and her cheeks flush as she glances down at her phone, misinterpreting my sound as one of protest.
As if I would begrudge her photos to her sister.
“Sorry, Caleb,” she says softly, walking over to me and putting her phone in her back pocket. “Here we are, finally together with no interruptions, and I’m texting my family as if we have forever.”
“Remember what I said, Pixie? We do.” I offer her a slow smile, pushing aside my dark thoughts, which she returns. I hold out my hand and pull her half on me, half on the lounger. She’s wrapped around me and I have my hands slowly stroking her back. Our bodies conform, as if they were made for one another. Her phone pings, but she ignores it. While I hate she misinterpreted me, I can’t say I hate having her so close to me.
Drowning in swirls of blue and green, I tell her, “I don’t mind, Pixie. Ignore my caveman tendencies to hog all of you and send everything you want to Holly.”
“How did you know?” she asks, not without a bit of wonder.
“I can’t imagine the rest of your family getting excited beyond one or two pictures. Holly, I imagine, is probably thinking of asking Ryan if she can set up a photo shoot,” I respond wryly.
She reaches back and grabs her phone. Laughing, she turns it toward me.
When I read the message, I laugh along with her. I had practically quoted Holly without having seen the text.
Quickly tapping out a reply, she settles in next to me. My arm slides back around her and moves up and down. The anticipation levels start to arc between us. I feel her shiver a bit. “Cold?” I ask, pulling her tighter against my side.
“No,” Is her quiet reply.
I tilt my head down and promptly get lost in her eyes. Her features are exotic between her dark curls, pale skin and sea-green eyes. Her lips are plump, and since I’m sure as fuck not a saint, I’ve spent several nights imaging them wrapped around my cock.
Her compact body is lush with curves, and she has long legs for such a petite woman. I’ve imagined how they would wrap around my neck while I tasted her, or maybe my hips as I push steadily into her. I can feel myself hardening behind the zipper of my jeans, my dick vibrating with awareness of what may happen. I run my hand down my face, turning my eyes to look over at the sinking sun when I feel it.
Her mouth.
Lightly.
On my neck.
Just a small taste—barely a graze of her teeth and a flicker of her tongue.
I jerk back.
Holy fuck. Did that just happen? Did she just taste me?
My dick is at full attention, even as she blushes furiously and starts to move away. My arms tighten as I start to roll over, trapping her with my body. She squirms in embarrassment as I stare down at her wide eyes.
It did happen.
I catch her flailing hands in mine by simply threading my fingers through hers. Not tightly. She could pull away at any time. Her head is turned to the side, her cheeks flushed as brightly as her lips. She’s upset. Why?
Because I pulled back in shock?
Suddenly, it hits me, and I’m overwhelmed with tenderness and joy. She wants me, but isn’t quite sure how to proceed. My instinctive reaction must have seemed like a rejection to her.
My heart starts a hard beat in my chest. My breath picks up in speed. “Cassidy.” Her name comes out in a tender whisper.
She won’t look at me. Because I’m watching her so closely, I see a tiny tear form at the corner of her eye. I lean down and capture it, then run a line of kisses down her chiseled cheekbone to behind her ear. Her breathing starts to increase. I know I have her attention, even as she refuses to meet my eyes.
I nip behind her earlobe and soothe it with my tongue.
I feel her body react as mine did. Beautiful Pixie. Didn’t know what that would feel like, to me or herself. “I wasn’t pulling away, Pixie. No chance in hell of that. Do you understand now?”
Her head turns and her gaze locks with mine as she nods slowly. I take a deep breath and am completely unmanned when she pulls her hand away and ghosts it over my face, her fingers grazing over my eyebrows, my nose, my lips. Just before her fingers move past my lips, I gamble and suck one into my mouth for a brief instant. She gasps, and heat flares, turning her eyes into flames.
I am undone.
I slide her head into the crook of my elbow and fully rest my body on top of hers. She adjusts her legs and instinctively wraps one around my hip. I reach down and pull it higher. Pushing my hips into hers, I hear her audible sigh as
her eyelashes flutter.
I leverage myself over her so I can find a better angle to reach her lips, not wanting to scare her, but by doing so, I push my hips deeper into hers.
She moans in pleasure.
I take her lips in a slow, drugging kiss. I was holding her leg against me but, suddenly, her other leg comes up to join it, locking behind my lower back. I’m thrown off balance and end up with both elbows framing her face. She reaches up and grabs my head and pulls it down to hers. Clashing tongues dual, snaking between each other’s mouths. Hers darts in mine and I chase after it immediately. Our heads angle to find that perfect placement, all the while rocking our bodies against each other.
I might come in my jeans.
Ripping my mouth away, her eyes flutter open to lock with mine. Her breasts are heaving, her nipples straining the thin sweater she’s wearing in the October chill. I want nothing more than to lean my head down to capture one of them between my teeth and suck on it, but I won’t here.
Despite the relative privacy of the roof deck, there are still too many eyes in the city.
“Pixie, I won’t take you up here.” Just as hurt starts to encroach on her features, I use her own maneuver and glide my hand over her face, not quite touching. I brush her lips lightly before saying softly, “It’s not like your house, Cassidy. There are people here who have telescopes, and have no qualms about spying on their neighbors.” Her eyes clear and embarrassment paints her cheeks. “There’s only so far I’m willing to let someone watch me go with my woman and we just hit it.” I do a push up over her to get enough clearance to get off the lounger. “It’s time to go downstairs.” I hold out my hand.
I wait for her to take it. Willing for her to.
Heartbeats pass, but she places her hand in mine.
Pulling her up, I wrap my forearms around her luscious ass and pick her up. Quickly, I make my way downstairs, through the condo and into my room.
Free to Dream Page 18
