by Trina M. Lee
His gaze softened, as if he never had a clue how bad it had been for me.
“Alexa,” he breathed my name; he reached for me, but I stepped away. If he touched me, I might cry, and I refused to give him the satisfaction of my tears.
“Don’t,” I said; a growl rumbled low in my throat, barely audible. “Don’t you dare try to placate me. You didn’t care then, and-I’ll be damned-you don’t care now.”
The tears on my cheeks were warm and silent, and I didn’t recall the first one falling.
I wiped them away with an angry motion, infuriated that I would cry over this. Maybe I still harbored more of that frightened teenager inside me than I realized.
I didn’t expect Raoul to challenge my withdrawal; he caught me off guard when he backed me up against the desk. I craned my neck to look up at him as the hard wooden edge dug into the back of my legs. My body reacted defensively. My fangs extended, ready for a fight; my nails dug into the wood, as they became claws.
I expected an attack, but he leaned down and buried his face in my long blonde locks. One well-muscled arm went around my lower back and pressed me to him. He nipped my neck lightly, just below my ear. It didn’t hurt. He hadn’t meant it to. I realized that he was trying to comfort me.
Both of his large, warm arms went around me; he held me with an odd intensity. He nuzzled deeper into my hair, and when the first hot drop ran down the side of my neck, I realized he, too, shed tears. Unsure of what to do, I let him hold me, even though I was vibing off his pain. I just wanted to hide my feelings; I felt too exposed.
That close to Raoul, I was damn glad to be free of Arys’ hunger. Amid the excitement of the evening, I hadn’t noted that I had been completely free of his hunger since he’d fed.
“I know that I wasn’t what you needed me to be. But, there’s just so much you don’t know. I’m sorry. It doesn’t mean anything now, but I am.”
Time seemed to stop with his small confession. My wolf was content to rest in his arms, but something deep down began to ache for Shaz. We both needed this moment, but people were waiting for us, and a dangerous hybrid was on the loose with a taste for blood and vengeance.
“Raoul?” I said tentatively. He didn’t release his hold, so I prodded him gently. “It’s ok. We don’t have to do this right now. It’s not the right time. We have to deal with Zoey.”
In slow hesitation, he let go and stepped back. His ebony wolf eyes were hauntingly beautiful with tears, and I allowed myself an extra moment to fall into their depths. I wanted him to tell me the things that I didn’t know, but I didn’t dare ask. Call it cowardice, but an inner voice warned that I really didn’t want to know.
I pushed away from the desk, past him. “So, do you have a picture of her? You know, so I actually know what she looks like if I happen to see her.” Or get jumped by her, I added silently.
He relented with a shrug. “We have to find her before she does anything else.”
“Do you think you can track her down?” I forced a casual tone while he produced a large envelope from the desk. I felt ill at ease.
He pulled a wallet-sized photo out and handed it to me. “I’m not sure, but I damn well intend to. There isn’t a distinct scent to a hybrid, though; it’s all human.”
I nodded in agreement and focused my attention on the picture. Zoey was absolutely striking. She had her father’s dark hair and defined features. Her eyes were a pleasant blue that I couldn’t even picture on Raoul. She was smiling in the photo, standing beside a wishing well with the countryside behind her. A pale blue sundress adorned what appeared to be a tall but slender frame. I could take her.
“I think Arys and I can locate her by her energy. He immediately knew she was a hybrid when we were upstairs.” I wiped a hand across my eyes to eliminate any last traces of tears. A glance around the room revealed a much-needed Kleenex box on the corner of the desk.
Raoul’s eyes narrowed, and just like that, the tension was back. “I don’t want him involved in this. He isn’t pack. Hell, he isn’t even a werewolf.”
Was this more male-hierarchy bullshit or what? “If you want me involved then you accept who I choose to bring in.”
I met his defiant gaze with my own. The decade old rift between us was back. I didn’t think we’d ever truly banish it. The past was the past, but our resentments remained fresh and bitter.
“Just because you’re bedding the vampire does not mean you can make him a part of this. This is my daughter we’re talking about.”
“Don’t start the macho man shit with me. I’m in or I’m out. If you prefer to deal with your daughter yourself, that’s fine with me.” We stared into one another until the angry heat became too much. “I could be making money, right now, for a job like this, rather than screwing around here for free.”
This time, I didn’t hang around to get sucked into another argument. I threw the office door open and strode back into the kitchen.
Raoul appeared behind me. He clutched my coffee mug in his hand as if he’d shatter it by sheer will alone.
“Sorry,” I offered lamely.
Arys stood in the front sitting room while Julian paced in the large kitchen uncomfortably. Zak still stood on the back deck and shouted into his phone. He had great timing for a lover’s quarrel. Before I reached the doorway that connected the kitchen and front room, Raoul grabbed my wrist hard enough to bruise and spun me to face him.
“Fine. Have it your way. But keep him on a leash. No funny stuff. This is my flesh and blood we’re after.”
I couldn’t help but risk a glance at Arys in the neighboring room; he might not appreciate the leash comment. I certainly did not miss how Arys’ eyes were riveted to where Raoul’s hand gripped my wrist. Not good.
“You need to remember,” I jerked my arm from his grasp. “That your daughter is losing her mind. And, one thing about crazy people, Raoul, sometimes they don’t want to come back. The brink of insanity suits them just fine. Don’t go into this expecting to save her. You’ll just be fooling yourself.”
A series of emotions crossed his face, and he successfully squashed them all. “I’m aware of the circumstances, but nobody is going to kill her. Clear?”
I wasn’t getting into this again. I mustered an exasperated sigh and shrug. I rubbed the rawness out of my wrist. He manhandled me because I was wolf and not human, which aggravated me all to hell; my womanhood earned me no respect.
“I’ll call you.” I turned to go but paused as a smile quirked my lips. “You’re not afraid, are you? To stay here alone?”
If looks could kill, I would have been dead three times over. “Ok, ok. Forget I asked.”
Arys launched into motion as I walked into the room. I motioned for him to join me as I approached the front door and let us out. I stopped at the bottom of the front steps;
nothing was amiss.
“There’s nobody here. I’ve been keeping tabs.” Arys pulled the door closed behind us with a soft click. “He made you cry. I can’t tell you what it took to keep from going in there, but I knew how pissed you’d be if I came riding to your rescue again.”
I took a few steps down the front walkway and turned back to look at him. My eyes must be red and puffy.
“How did you know?”
The vampire fixed me with a blue stare as dark as the only blue moon that I’d ever seen. The intensity that burned there sparked a fire low in my core, and my breath caught when he said, “I could feel it.”
His hand went to his still heart, but his eyes never left me. “Right here. I can’t even begin to tell you the last time that I felt anything that didn’t include blood, sex, or death.”
When he descended the last stair and stood before me, I didn’t shrink away. His soft kiss spoke to a side of me that Raoul had long ignored and Shaz just didn’t yet understand. Arys had lived brutality, as both a giver and a receiver, and so had I. I responded to him in full, and our power swirled around us in a dizzying embrace. I drank in his sweet taste a
nd smell hungrily.
With great reluctance, I pulled away, all too aware of the spectacular view of us from Raoul’s big picture window. I really wanted to cast the world aside and enjoy the forbidden pleasures that joined me to this lovely, dark creature. The need to shift was a poignant ache in the pit of my stomach as I turned to lead the way to the Charger.
“So am I correct in assuming this hybrid is your Alpha’s offspring gone wrong?”
Arys asked when we were in the quiet confines of the car.
I looked at him sharply. “You could hear us.”
“I’ve merely been putting the pieces together myself. That seemed to be the most logical assumption.”
“He’s completely adamant that nobody kill her unless it’s more than necessary. He’s carrying around a lot of guilt regarding her childhood.”
I started the car and headed for Lucy’s. I didn’t want to part ways with Arys at his house. I didn’t trust myself to say no to him tonight.
I really wanted to see Shaz. Tomorrow night was our official date, but at this rate, I could see it being postponed. I was a jumble of nerves, and I needed the quiet solace that I only found with my muzzle buried in Shaz’ thick, white fur.
“So, no hybrid fun for the vampire?”
I shot him a scowl, and Arys laughed. A pleasurable thrill tingled in places that simply should not respond so strongly to something so miniscule. Damn him.
“Keep your hands off of her. And, anything else that may come to mind, too.
Seriously.” I narrowed my brow in my best “I mean business” face. “Grab her if you see her, but don’t do anything but detain her. Capiche?”
“Relax, Alexa. I won’t bleed the half breed, promise.”
When people tell me to relax, it only serves to tick me off more, but I stifled a yawn and blinked through watery vision. I hadn’t been getting enough sleep. The digital clock on the dash read 2:17am, and I knew today would be another long one.
“It’s not you bleeding her that concerns me.”
I smiled upon noticing that the rain had stopped. I already knew how fresh and inviting the forest would smell after a warm summer shower. I wanted so badly to be there with Shaz.
Arys squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. “The heavy presence of your wolf is like a weight inside my head. You need to shift.” The way he said it was so casual, as if our fates were not inextricably entwined, as if his perception of my wolf were perfectly normal.
“I know. That’s my next move. I can’t focus on anything else until I clear my head with a run.”
“Why don’t you let me out at the 7/11?” He said suddenly. “You can go to your wolf pup, and I’ll do a little scouting around before I head home.”
I felt a little strange that he could sense my intentions so clearly.
Before I could form a response, he continued with a grimace. “My fingers are itching. Get your ass out of that skin and turn furry before I lose my mind. I swear I’ll keep a better rein on the bloodlust from now on.”
Sharing our power was hard, but sharing our weaknesses was a new kind of hell.
“If you kill that puppy you just got for Mrs. Olson, I will personally kick your ass.” I teased. The 7/11 was right on the corner where this road met the main thoroughfare.
“Oh God, Alexa, don’t even joke about that. Did you see how damn cute he was?”
I chuckled and shook my head at the big, bad vampire who melted over puppies.
“What I did see was that poor old Mrs. Olson didn’t have a clue that you tore the head off of her little Benny.” I made a tsking sound, and Arys gave my thigh a playful pinch that had some sting to it.
“Up here is fine.” He pointed to a crosswalk a good block or so before the twentyfour hour convenience store. This area was only ten years old, and the majority of the street remained undeveloped. The crosswalk was flanked by nothing but the darkness and only led to the Brown Street walking path, a ten minute walk from where I’d killed David. I’d heard nothing on the news, but I was suddenly stricken with anxiety.
I pulled over. My heart began to pound as I stared out the window into the dark. My chest tightened, and my breath seemed to come short. Somebody had to have found the grisly remains of David by now.
Arys leaned over and drew me close. With a soft kiss at my temple, he whispered, “I took care of it. Nobody’s going to find a thing.”
I had to pull back to look at him. The lights of an approaching vehicle flashed in the rear view mirror, and I flipped my hazard lights on so they would go around.
“You did what?”
“I took care of it,” he repeated as I stared at him stupidly. “There is nothing left to be found. It’s your dirty little secret.”
I swallowed hard as my pulse raced. Did I want to ask what he’d done with the remains? The images of what I’d done to that man flashed again in my mind, images that could never be erased. It hadn’t been pretty.
“I can’t believe you did that.” A long, shuddery breath left me, and I felt both relief and shame. “I can’t believe his girlfriend didn’t send somebody to find him.” My laugh bordered on neurotic.
“You know I’ve got your back.” Arys looked at me gravely, all serious. “It was partly my fault that you lost control. We can only maintain control of this by keeping our hungers sated.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“You’ve been fine since I took blood. Me? I’m starting to itch on the inside. The burning comes next. You need to let the beast out.” He gave my hand a squeeze before adding, with a fangy smile, “By the way, you owe me two hundred bucks for half of Mrs. Olson’s puppy.”
I gaped, open-mouthed, at him, and he took advantage of the moment; he pressed his lips hungrily to mine. The distinct taste of pine and wolf almost made my heart stop.
When he pulled back, I said breathlessly, “You taste like wolf.”
With a bitter smile and a pained expression, he nodded. “Hurry. I’ll see you soon.”
He disappeared like vapor into the night, a timely and dramatic exit, and I was flabbergasted by his strange and intoxicating devotion. I wasn’t quite sure what Arys was up to, but I trusted him. And, I sincerely hoped that he would never make a fool of me for doing so.
I turned off the hazard lights and eased down the street. I whipped a U-turn at the 7/11 and went back the way that I’d come. I drove straight to the lounge.
Lucy’s brimmed with people despite the line of patrons that ambled out, talking and laughing amongst themselves. Though the bar was now closed for drinks, many people continued to down their last, content to stay until closing. They finished that last game of pool or sought a potential bed partner before closing time.
Shaz’ platinum hair caught my eye amid a cluster of women who sought his attention. This was a regular occurrence on cheap drink night; these women looked forward to hitting on the bartender all week. As I drew near him, my wolf fought to break free of my restraint. Over the toxic combination of cologne, perfume and alcohol, I honed in on Shaz’ scent and energy. If my wolf had been a separate entity, she would have run ahead to knock Shaz to the ground and shower him with wet wolf kisses.
He felt me, too, and broke away from his adoring fans to come to me, grateful for the escape. No fear or disgust showed in his beautiful jade eyes, even though I expected it.
Guilt washed over me in a crashing wave. He knew what I’d done in the shadows of the walking path, and his feelings for me remained. I did not deserve this.
“Lex! My lovely wolf queen.” His grin tickled me right to the bottom of my feet, and I reached for him but stopped short. “How are you doing tonight? Better, I hope.”
Every woman turned to see the intruder that so easily captured the attention of their bartender. I flashed them a fake smile before dismissing them completely.
“I’m fine, Shaz, but boy, do I have a story for you.” I tucked a stray chunk of dyed gold hair behind my ear and cast a glance around the bar. I stayed on full aler
t; Zoey could be anywhere. “Are you up for a run? I really need to unwind. And then, I can fill you in on everything. I just came from Raoul’s. It’s not good.”
He searched my eyes briefly and then nodded. When he sniffed lightly, I got the uneasy feeling that he was scenting the vampire’s cologne on me.
“I’d love to go for a run. Just give me a minute to finish up here and grab my things.”
He gave my arm a gentle squeeze before disappearing behind the bar. On his way back, he was intercepted by a large, older lady. Though I couldn’t hear their exchange, the look on Shaz’ face spoke volumes. The lady produced a card from between her heaving breasts and pressed it into his hand, and I couldn’t hide my laughter. She blew him a kiss and sauntered away, while he looked on, dumbfounded.
“That was strange.” Shaz said as he rejoined me. He fished in his jacket pocket for car keys. He really had no idea how good he looked in that leather jacket and blue jeans;
he could pass for art. “She told me to call her if and when I’m looking for a sugar mama.”
“Oh yeah?” I raised an eyebrow in question and smiled. “Sounds like somebody’s moving up in the world. When’s your first date?”
“Ha ha, funny.” He rolled his eyes, but I caught his sudden blush. “So, I’ll just meet you at your place?”
“Yeah. I’m going straight to the backyard. I’ll meet you there.”
I turned toward the exit, and I could have sworn I heard Shaz say, “Right behind you, sweet cheeks,” but when I turned back to him, he just winked.
Chapter Seventeen
I needed the release of that run. When I ditched my clothing in the backyard and dropped to all fours, the shift had never felt so right. I wondered if Arys shared my relief as my body reformed itself into an ashen wolf. I felt the gentlest touch on my mind, and for just a moment, I heard the vampire’s soothing laughter.
As Shaz and I raced through the trees, the magical scent of fresh rain swept me away. We rolled amid the wet leaves and moss; I felt a greater joy than any human experience. In this form, I felt my connection to nature so much stronger. Rich soil streaked my fur and filled my nostrils with fertility, while my sixth sense reveled in powerful earth energy. Nothing competes with what I feel as wolf.
