Julian glared at her mother. “Why don’t you tell them the truth?”
Jane’s mouth disappeared into a thin line. “Enough!”
Chloe looked at her mom. “Maybe we should go.” She didn’t know what Julian was trying to pull, but knowing her, there was no telling—the persnickety witch! She’d always made it clear to Chloe that Dan was too good for her, but this was over the top.
“No,” Naomi said, looking straight at Jane. “We need to know what’s going on.”
“Tell her, Mother,” Julian pressed.
At that, Jane broke down in tears. “Are you trying to destroy what’s left of your brother’s memory? Is that what you want?”
“No, Mother, he did that himself. I just want the truth.” She slung her hair over her shoulder. “Oh, all right. I’ll tell her.” She looked at Chloe. “Dan had a girlfriend—a lover—in Afghanistan. She was in his battalion. She’s been calling here, saying that she’s pregnant with his baby.”
The room seemed to expand and contract in one hard punch, and Chloe fought to catch her breath. Everything was spinning. She felt her mom’s arms around her and knew she was saying something to Jane, but for the life of her, Chloe couldn’t make out any of the words. Somehow she got to her feet. Jane reached out to her. “Oh, Chloe. Don’t leave like this. Please don’t leave like this.”
Chloe backed away. “I have to get some air,” she squeaked. She looked wildly around the room.
“Chloe!” Jane urged. “Come and sit down.”
Chloe shook her head and ran to the door. She paused long enough to look back at the broken woman who would’ve been her mother-in-law. “I don’t belong here.”
“She’s right,” Julian said, giving her a haughty look. “Let her go. She doesn’t belong here. Not anymore.”
2
Chapter 2
Six Months later …
Most of the time, he came to her in her dreams, but lately she’d seen him during the day when she wasn’t even thinking about him. That’s when she knew she was in trouble. Chloe remembered the expression on her mom’s face the first time she described the vivid dream she’d had of Dan right before her mom came into her room and told her that he was dead. She could imagine what her mom would think if she knew she’d been seeing him everywhere.
What difference did it make? They all thought she was crazy anyway. A shiver ran down her spine. Was she? These hallucinations were causing her to feel unhinged. She hugged her arms and looked around her room as goose bumps rose over her flesh. That’s what they were, weren’t they? Hallucinations? And yet … they felt so real. Panic fluttered in her breast. Dan is dead and buried! she kept repeating over and over as her hands clenched into fists. Get a grip, Chloe! her mind screamed. Why was this happening? It was bad enough that Dan had betrayed her, but this was even worse. Why could he not just leave her in peace? Maybe things would be different once she got to her new place. Yes, today marked the start of her new life! Things would get better from here on out. She forced herself to regulate her breathing until her pulse returned to normal. “I can do this,” she said aloud. She stood on her tiptoes and retrieved her fleece from the top shelf. Then, she threw it in the suitcase, zipped it, and headed for the door. An unexpected wave of sadness flooded over her as she cast a final glance at her room. A chapter was closing in her life, but there was also a glimmer of a new beginning on the horizon—if only she could summon the courage to keep walking in that direction. She had to keep walking! Her sanity depended on it! And if moving away from everything familiar was what it took, then so be it. Anything had to be better than this. For six months, she’d walked around in a daze, trying to find meaning to her life. The worst was overhearing the hushed conversations when her parents thought she wasn’t listening—like how Dan’s mom was footing the bill for the birthing expenses of the girl Dan had gotten pregnant. It was humiliating to hear them whispering behind her back because they thought she was too fragile to hear the truth. If some other girl was having Dan’s baby, then why was she seeing him? She was tired of being haunted by the past. Time to move on. Resolutely, she straightened her shoulders as she stepped into the hall and closed the door. The next instant, she nearly mowed over her mom who was standing with her hand on her hip. “Sorry,” she grumbled.
“Chloe, I don’t feel good about you driving across country by yourself,” she began, picking up the argument that had been going on for days.
“We’ve already been through this! I won’t be alone, I’m taking Beasty with me!” She tightened her grip on the handle of the suitcase and brushed past her, tromping down the steps. Her mom followed close on her heels.
“Why don’t you leave Beasty here for now? I could book you a flight into Salt Lake, and you could be there in a few hours.”
Chloe shook her head. “We’ve already talked about this. I’ll need my car.”
Her mom paused. “Okay, then I’ll take off work for a few days and go with you. I’ll call Phil right now. I’ve built up enough leave that it shouldn’t be a problem. I can help take care of Beasty. I just don’t feel good about you stopping at hotels by yourself. For goodness sakes, it’s a three-day trip!”
Chloe felt the urge to scream at the top of her lungs. Her mother could be so impossible! She put down the suitcase and turned to face her. Normally, her mom kept her short hair styled in a sleek bob that rounded just below her ears, but this morning, it was all over the place, and she didn’t have on any make-up, causing her to look older and more vulnerable. She was wearing her favorite terrycloth robe—the one that Chloe bought her last Christmas. A gush of tenderness rushed over her, making her feel guilty for getting so irritated.
Her mom gave her a searching look. “You don’t have to do this alone.” She put a hand on Chloe’s arm. “Let me help you.”
Before she could stop it, a tear escaped the corner of Chloe’s eye and dribbled down her cheek. Hastily, she wiped it away with the palm of her hand. “Mom, I’m going to Salt Lake City like you want me to. I’m rooming with some girl I don’t even know—simply because she’s the daughter of your best friend.” Her voice rose. “But you have to give a little here! Try to understand. I have to find my life, and I have to do it my way.” She gave her mom a pained look. “I’m doing the best I can.”
Naomi held up a hand. “I know that, honey. I just want you to be safe, that’s all.” She shook her head and then pulled at the tie on her robe, making it tighter around her waist.
“Is everything okay?”
They looked toward the door as Chloe’s dad stepped into the room.
Naomi offered him a tight smile. “Everything’s fine, Brian.”
He looked back and forth between Chloe and Naomi with a raised eyebrow. “Obviously.”
Chloe made a face. “Mom’s worried about me driving across country by myself.”
“Yeah, I’m a little worried about it too,” he admitted. Before Chloe could respond, he went to the cabinet, retrieved a glass, and filled it with water from the sink. Then he leaned back against the counter, studying Chloe with those penetrating eyes that missed nothing.
Heat rose to her face as she threw her hands in the air. “Not you too! We’ve been through this a dozen times already! I’m a grown woman!”
He placed the glass on the counter. “Yes, we know that,” he said patiently.
Her dad was the voice of reason in the household and the mediator between Chloe and her mom. Chloe was an only child, and she knew it wasn’t easy for her dad to be the only male in a household with two hotheaded females that often disagreed. Her eyes met his, and she silently pled for his understanding. If she could get through to him then he would eventually convince her mom to see things her way.
Finally, he looked at Naomi. “Chloe’s right. This is something she needs to do on her own. And we need to be supportive.” There was a note of finality in his voice.
Naomi crossed her arms over her chest and looked away.
Chloe looked at her mo
m, standing there defiantly, her chin jutted out. She felt herself soften. “Look, I’m sorry.” The space between them seemed to grow large as her mom’s lower lip began to tremble.
“Can you at least wait and leave after church? I was hoping that we could all go together this morning.”
It always came down to this. Every argument she’d had with her mom in the past six months had church rolled in somehow, and she was sick of it. Why couldn’t she just leave things be?
“You haven’t been to church since Dan’s memorial service,” Naomi continued.
Chloe rolled her eyes.
“Honey, I know all of this has been hard, and we don’t always understand why we have to go through certain trials, but we have to have faith.”
“Can’t you see I’m trying to put my life back together the only way I know how?” The words came out harsh and broken.
Naomi’s face fell. “You used to listen to me. Why won’t you listen to me now?”
She jerked her hair back from her face. “Okay, I’m listening. SO TALK!”
“You need to pray about it. If you’ll just—”
“Maybe I don’t feel like praying, all right? Heck, I don’t even think anyone up there is listening!”
A stunned silence went through the room.
She could tell from the stern look on her dad’s face that she’d gone too far. Before he could scold her, she sought for the words to make amends. “Look, I’m sorry.” The words felt heavy in her mouth as she forced them out. “I know praying is important to you, and I wish I could tell you I believed everything you do.” Her voice broke. “But I don’t right now. Okay? Can you just give me some space to sort all of this out?”
Tears pooled in Naomi’s eyes. “Oh, honey.” She embraced Chloe in a tight hug. After a few minutes, she pulled away. “I’m going with you.”
Chloe closed her eyes. “Mom! Don’t! I’m a grown woman, for goodness sakes!”
“A trip across country … alone? It’s just not smart, Chloe!”
“I won’t be alone!”
“What?” Her mom’s face drained, and Chloe realized she’d made a huge mistake. Of all the stupid things to say! Now her mom was looking at her in that way that had become all too familiar over the past few months. It was the look that said You’re crazy.
“What do you mean you won’t be alone?” Naomi said. Chloe hated the way she was choosing her words carefully, as if she were afraid that one wrong word would be enough to push Chloe over the edge.
She blew out a breath. “I’ll have Beasty with me. That’s what I meant.”
Naomi cocked her head. “Chloe, what is it that you’re not telling me?”
Her heart started to pound. “You’re making more out of this than it is.” She hated the fear that was creeping into her mom’s eyes. Her dad was looking at her the same way. She felt it too—that sickening fear that left her feeling completely and utterly hopeless.
“You know that Dan is gone, right?” Naomi grabbed hold of Chloe’s arm. “You know that, right?”
A chill went through the room and sliced through Chloe. She wondered if her parents had felt it. She stumbled backwards. “Yeah, Mom, I know. I’ve got to go.”
“Did you pack some warm clothes … your coat? The winters get cold.”
“Yes.”
Their eyes met.
“Call me or text me every few hours, so that I’ll know where you are.” Naomi bit her bottom lip. “Can you at least do that?”
She nodded and pressed her lips together in a hard line while trying to squeeze back the tears. “I will. I promise. I Love you.”
Naomi gave her a crooked smile. “I love you too.”
She looked at her dad. “I love you too,” she croaked. Tears formed in his eyes as he put his arms around her and gave her a tight hug.
“It’ll all turn out okay in the end,” he said gruffly.
She nodded, swallowing hard.
Not one to show emotion, her dad seemed embarrassed by his tears. He stepped back and took a gulp of water, and then his voice grew practical. “Okay, let’s get Beasty squared away. He’s not gonna like being caged up for three days, I can tell you that right now.”
Chloe chuckled. “You’re right about that.” She picked up her suitcase and was halfway out the door before her mind registered that her mom had said something else.
“When you don’t feel like it.”
“Huh?”
“That’s when you need to pray the most.”
* * *
“Beasty! Yuck! That stinks!”
Chloe flipped on the windshield wipers and peered through the drizzling rain, searching for a road sign that said Rest Area. It was day two of the trip, and Beasty was a mess. He’d meowed solidly for four hours the day before—until Chloe thought she’d go out of her mind. Thankfully, he’d stopped the incessant meowing today, but his fear of traveling had transferred to his bowels. The car smelled like a sewer plant, despite the fact that she was stopping every two hours to clean the pet carrier. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. Judging by the putrid smell coming from the back, another cleaning was way over due. Why had she insisted on taking this wretched cat across country? If only her mother could see her now. She’d be wagging her finger and saying, I told you so. A part of her wished that she’d listened to her mom, but she’d not been able to fathom the thought of leaving Beasty behind. He’d been such a comfort to her since Dan’s death. Even now, despite the hassle, she was glad Beasty was with her.
With a sigh of relief, she spotted a rest area up ahead. She pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine. A trickle of unease went over her as she looked at the building that seemed deserted. There was one other car in the parking lot besides hers. It was getting dark, and the rain was mixing with the fog. She watched as an older man exited the restroom, got into his car, and drove away. It hit her then that she was alone (with a traumatized cat that had the runs) on a lonely stretch of highway. Her mother’s warnings came rushing back, and she almost started the engine and kept driving, despite the horrendous odor. Then a car pulled up beside her, and a young couple with three small kids got out. She let out a sigh of relief, feeling silly for her misgivings. “Okay, Beasty, I’m gonna clean your stinking litter box one more time. Like it or not, this will have to hold you until we get to the hotel.”
She opened the door to the backseat and retrieved Beasty from the cage. She placed him on the other side of the cage, so that he couldn’t escape out the open door. He stood and stretched. She averted her nose as she began cleaning up the mess. “This is really gross, Beasty!”
The drizzle had turned to a downpour that soaked the backs of her legs and feet. “Great! It had to pick right now to start pouring!”
A loud clap of thunder raised the hair on the back of her neck as she flinched. Beasty let out a loud meow and jumped into the floorboard. She swung around and caught a glimpse of someone out of her peripheral vision. Her heart pounded as she looked at the familiar figure, standing outside of the car.
She dropped the litter box shovel as her hands went to her mouth. “Dan!” Panic raced through her veins, and she closed her eyes. “You’re not real! This can’t be happening! Please … go away!” Her heart was beating so fast that she thought her chest would explode, and she tried to control her breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth. In through the nose… When she opened her eyes, he was gone. She was shaking all over, and then she saw Beasty in the floorboard, hunched down like he was also scared. Tears sprang to her eyes. The door to the car was still open, and rain was pouring in. She went to close to the door, but then she caught sight of Dan going around the side of the building. She stepped out of the car, straining to see through the rain, oblivious to the fact that she was getting drenched.
Anger took hold, replacing the fear. “Dan!” she screamed. “If you’ve got something to say to me then say it! Dan! What do you want? DAN!”
Lightning flashed as thunder rattled t
he ground, and she saw him walking from the building to the nearby field. “Come back here and talk to me! You betrayed me!” A blinding anger seized her as she took off running through the rain after him. She got about fifty feet from the building when she stepped into a hole and went down hard, skinning the palms of her hands in the process. Then she realized what she was doing. She jerked around, looking at the empty space around her. There was no one there. “Dan!”
Tears began streaming down her face, mixing with the rain. No wonder her father and mother were worried. She was losing it! She stood and began walking back to the building. Then she saw her car and realized she’d left the door wide open. “Beasty!” Her stomach dropped. She ran to the car and looked inside. He was gone. What had she done? Beasty had probably gone looking for her.
“Beasty!” she began yelling, walking around the building. “Beasty! Kitty, kitty!” The words seemed to get swallowed up in the rain, and her panic was building to frenzy. Just when she’d lost all hope of finding him, she rounded the corner and saw one of the boys, belonging to the family that was parked beside her. He was holding Beasty in his arms.
He stepped up to her. “I don’t think he likes the rain. He was trying to get into the door of the restroom when I came out.”
Her knees went weak with relief as she took Beasty from him. “Oh, thank you.” She cuddled the trembling cat in her arms. “I thought I’d lost him. Thank you,” she repeated.
He smiled. “You’re welcome.” He gave her a tentative look. “What’s his name?”
“Beasty.”
He reached out and rubbed Beasty’s head. “Beasty. It fits him.”
His mother called for him from the car. “Charlie, let’s go!”
“See ya!” He gave her a curt wave as he trotted off.
Not wanting to be left alone at the rest area, Chloe hurried to her car and deposited Beasty in the cage. Thankfully, she’d gotten the cage mostly cleaned before the commotion began, but the bag of poop was still in the car. She tied it up and sprinted to the garbage can in front of the building where she threw it away and then ran back to the car as fast as she could. Her heart hammering, she started the engine and blasted the heat. It was still raining, so she turned on the windshield wipers.
When Darkness Falls Page 2
