by Tijan
"Shut up, dad!" Logan barked at him.
There was movement behind me. I sensed it, but I could only stare at my mother. She was alone now, and her hand started to tremble. "Samantha—"
"I said, stop."
She clamped her mouth shut, but stood to her tallest height. Her chin lifted. Her shoulders squared back and the wildness in her eyes calmed down a notch. But she was still mad. I could see it.
I no longer cared. "You took them away from me."
She winced as if I had slapped her. "Honey—"
I held a hand up and she quieted. Then I shook my head. My stomach twisted into knots and the need to throw up was climbing in my throat. I felt it coming, but I couldn't deal with any of that. She made me sick. I'd never get that feeling out of me. My throat felt raw. "You took David away from me."
She grimaced again. Her head turned to the side as if I really had slapped her.
"You threatened Garrett from me?"
She didn't respond.
"Did you?"
She bit her lip. A sob convulsed from her, but she nodded once.
I gripped my stomach. The betrayal was there. I wished that she would've stabbed me. It would've been less painful than what I felt now. When would she stop hurting me?
I pressed on, whispering, "You kept him from me all my life."
"Sam," she choked out.
"Shut up, woman!" Logan surged next to me. "Let her talk."
Mason stepped closer to me. He didn't touch me, though I expected him to, but he was there. I knew he was there, in case I fell.
"You took my little sister from me?" Helen said Analise tried to kill herself, but that wasn't true. That had been the lie concocted to cover it up. She had committed murder.
"Oh god," she whimpered now. Her face crumbled, and she slipped to the floor. A hand held onto the counter, but it didn't help her. She held on, helplessly, as she curled into a ball on top of the tiles.
"Or did I have a little brother?" The question was ripped from me.
Her shoulders shook now and a sob sounded out. It was low and feral. It came from her core, but I didn't care. Not anymore. I knelt at her head, but she had it pressed into her knees. Tears and blood slipped over her skin. I didn't care where the blood had come from. I didn't even care that she was crying.
I whispered to her, "Did I have a little sister or a little brother?" It meant something to me. I needed to know. I had never asked. I had been too scared for too long, and then I had forgotten. "Mom!"
"Both!" she screamed. Her voice was muffled, pressed against her knees.
I stumbled back and fell. I could only stare at her in shock. Both? She was going to have twins?
She sobbed out, "Both! I was going to have twins. That's why there was so much blood loss. That's why I almost died. I wanted to die. I wanted to die…" Her shoulders shook with renewed frenzy as more sobs came from her.
Disgust flared within me.
Then I was being lifted back onto my feet. Mason had reached down and picked me up. He held me in front of him, but I shook my head. I wasn't ready to go so he waited. His hands never left my hips.
"You bitch."
Analise's entire body jerked from a tremor, but she didn't look up. She stayed in her ball and she kept crying.
No one went to help her.
I couldn't look away from her now. The great and almighty Analise was at my feet, literally. I'd been so scared of her for so long, then I had been angry at how selfish she was, but now I remembered so much more. She would never change. She had never been a mother to me. She never would.
There'd been so many questions swirling in me. How much had she paid David to stay away from me? No, how much had James paid. My mother had no money. She had nothing except for James and me, but she didn't have me anymore. I was done with her. But my little brother and sister. She had taken them from me. I gasped as the vomit almost came up. It was at the top of my throat. It wanted to spew out, but I pushed it down. I wouldn't let her see that reaction from me.
"Come on," Mason whispered in my ear. His hand curled around my arm, and he tugged me back.
I didn't move. I couldn't.
He bent and picked me up. I curled into his chest as he took me out to his car. As he placed me in the seat and clipped the seat belt for me, I couldn't move. I should've, but my insides had been gutted empty. She had done that—she had taken everything inside of me and ripped it all out. There was so much damage inside of me. I was damaged. How could anyone want to be around me? I was my mother's child.
As Mason shut my door and rounded to his side, I watched him through the glass. He was tense. His jaw was hard from repressed fury. The Mason I knew would've gone inside and wreaked havoc, but this one didn't. He was with me. He was taking care of me and being the stronghold that I needed.
He would wreak havoc another day.
He saw the small grin on my face as he got inside and started the car. "What's that for?"
A piece settled inside. His question was simple, but genuine. I heard his concern. I heard his love, and because there were no conditions to his love, it healed something inside of me. I knew it wasn't all of it, it wasn't even a sixteenth of it, but it was enough for now.
I reached over for his hand. At the touch, another little piece in me settled. I drew in a deep breath and held onto his hand tighter. The tears spilled now. I couldn't see anything as he pulled out from the driveway and started down the road. My throat was full of emotion. I couldn't say anything either. I just held onto him.
He drove for awhile, stopping for food a few times and even buying a coffee for me at one point. I took it, gratefully. As I sipped, the warm flavor settled my stomach a bit. That was when I noticed that he had turned his phone off. It sat in the console between us with no blinking lights. This was Mason. If it had been on, there would've been flashing lights. His phone never stayed silent for long. Someone was always calling or texting. Then I thought about my own and checked it. It was nearing midnight.
I sucked in my breath. What had happened to the night? Then I asked, my voice was raspy, "Where are we going?"
He shrugged. "Just driving. Where do you want to go?"
I settled back into my seat. It felt right—being with him, alone, in the middle of the night. It had started to rain outside, but we were protected inside the car. We could've driven all night and I wouldn't have cared. I murmured as much, "I don't care."
He nodded. "Do you work tomorrow?"
I shook my head. "First and last night off till school starts. I have to train in the morning with Coach Grath."
"Call him. Tell him you'll do the running on your own."
"Why?"
"We'll go back to L.A., to that apartment again. My mom won't think to even check the place."
"How would she do that?"
He shrugged again. "Call the front desk? Ask if we're there? I don't know. She seems to always find out what she wants to know." He grinned. "If she knows to look for something, she finds it. If she doesn't, she doesn't know about it."
"Someone told her about you guys?"
He nodded. "My aunt. I'm guessing one of my cousins spilled the beans. James was always an idiot. He probably said something without even thinking."
"And your mom came up here right away?"
He grimaced and tightened his hold on the steering wheel. Lights from the street flashed over him, illuminating the shadows on his face, before they slid away until the next light. My heart fluttered with each highlight. He looked like a dark angel, with beautiful features but a rough edge. He opened his mouth, "Yeah. She came up as soon as she heard. She'd been going after my dad for a long time before we came over. She called us, not him. I think my dad didn't want us involved."
"Or my mom?"
"Her too." A small smile graced his features. He glanced over with warmth in his eyes. "I don't think my mom realized how much of a hellcat your mom is." A low smooth chuckle sounded from him. "Helen likes to be cool, calm, and c
ollected. Your mom put a stop to that today."
I remembered the harried expression on Helen's face. Her hair was a mess and she had sunk back against the wall, as if in surrender. "I don't think she realized how crazy my mom is."
"Yeah." Mason flashed me a grin. "Your mom is crazy, but mine's ruthless and cunning."
"So is Analise."
"In a different way."
I cocked my head to the side. "How so?"
He jerked a shoulder up as he turned back to the road. "Your mom is violent. She's tried to keep it together, but she can't. She's a loose cannon. My mom's not violent. She'd never do the things your mom has. I'm not stupid, Sam. I heard my mom and if a PI thinks you were beat up by your own mother, I believe him. You've never said it, but you're scared of her. You weren't as scared of her before, but something happened and now you almost pee your pants when you're around her."
Pee my pants? I folded my arms over my chest. I didn't do that…
He let loose another string of curses. "I don't know what happened back then. I know something happened and I know it was bad. I was keeping it together because your mom was already going off, so was mine, and you needed me to support you, but I wanted to..." His knuckled wrapped around the steering wheel. They turned white as he fought to control himself. His jaw was rigid as he clipped out, "If I get the opportunity to hurt your mom and never have it bounce back to you, I'm taking it. I'm not going to lay a hand on her, but she hurt you. No one hurts you, Sam. I'm not okay with that."
I drew in a shuddering breath. A black hole had opened inside of me, and as I started to form the words, it grew and grew. But I had to say it. I had to say it to someone else. I had to get it out of me.
Mason had grown silent. He kept driving, and the silence of the car made me feel safe. This was the right place to talk about it. So I opened my mouth and the rest spilled free, "I was eleven and I had to go to the bathroom, but I was scared. I didn't want to wake her up, but I didn't want to go in my pants. She'd be so mad if I did that. I had, once. She slapped me so hard that time." My voice faltered. My head had hit a table on that occasion. Analise told David I'd been roller skating in the house again. The pain should've been overwhelming again, but it wasn't. As I remembered, I grew numb. "When I got to the bathroom, she was inside."
I drew in another breath.
"I didn't know what was wrong with her." I looked out the window, but I didn't see the lights. I didn't see my reflection. I saw my mom. "There was so much blood. She had on a nightgown and blood was coming from between her legs. I could tell. Her nightgown was soaked with it, and it was all over the floor around her legs."
I closed my eyes, but it didn't go away. The image became more vivid.
"I tried to say something to her, but she didn't answer so I went to find David." A tear slipped down. "I think that was the first time he left her. I didn't know it, but I figured it out now. There'd been a suitcase on the floor and his clothes were thrown all over. I think…I think they had a fight. Maybe he tried to pack a bag, but she didn't let him. I don't know, but he wasn't there. They couldn't locate him for three days."
I had stayed at Jessica's house for two of those days. The first night was spent at the hospital.
"I called 911, and the paramedics showed up right away. I was with her and they kept ringing the doorbell, but I didn't hear it. The 911 operator called me back and told me to open the door for them. I felt so bad that I made them wait outside. It was cold that night, or maybe it wasn't. I don't know. I was cold. But they bundled her onto the cot thing and took her out. It happened so quickly. I think they took her blood pressure and stuff. I don't know."
I stopped. I couldn't explain how it had been in the ambulance. Cold and alone. I was terrified. She never made a sound the whole ride. Her eyes never opened. Her hand didn't even twitch. The paramedic lifted it to feel her pulse. When he let it go, it fell with a thump back down. It was like she was dead.
"What then, Sam?"
I gasped from his voice. More tears came. I ignored them now. They slid down. I couldn't stop. But I continued, "They asked me where my dad was, but I couldn't tell them. I had no idea. I don't know how they found him. Jessica's mom came down. I think my mom had put her name on the medical forms so I stayed with Jessica until David came to get me. When he did, he didn't want to talk about it."
I stopped again. This was the worst part of it.
"They told David she tried to commit suicide or maybe that was a lie he told me. But there was a wire hanger next to her. I saw it when I went in the bathroom. One of the paramedic guys kicked it underneath a dresser in the bathroom. When David took me back to the house, I got it and cleaned it up. Then I threw it in the trash. I don't know why I did that. I don't think I wanted anyone to know what she really did. I realized now maybe he knew, maybe they all knew, but I wanted to protect her. I don't know why anymore."
I was eleven. I shouldn't have had thoughts like that at that age.
"I didn't want David to find out because if he did, I was scared that he was going to leave again. I couldn't handle being alone with my mom. She would've gone nuts, but she did anyway. Later…"
"Sam?"
I shook my head. I couldn't tell him what happened later. It was too painful, too much. I whispered, "I can't."
"It's okay." He reached for my hand and squeezed it. He pressed a kiss to it before he rested our hands in his lap.
That was good. He was warm. He was safe. He was strong. I breathed a little easier. I needed his touch. I needed to remember that it was okay now. I was okay now.
Then I said something that I never remembered before. "Mason."
"Hmmm?"
I remembered their voices one night. My mom's and David's. I had crouched outside of their door and stuck my ear against it. I'd been so scared he was always going to leave, but he never did. This was another fight. I hoped he wouldn't go, but I heard her scream. And I heard his response.
"Sam?"
"I don't think they were David's."
"What?"
I opened my eyes and turned to him. Another repulsive feeling started to grow. "They had a fight that night; she wanted kids, but he couldn't give her any. He told her he couldn't have kids. I remember it now." I stopped as I realized the extent of what my mother had done. "She had cheated on him. She got pregnant. Then she killed the babies."
"Because they weren't his?" His voice broke at the end.
I nodded. "That fight was before." Then I sucked in my breath. "That fight was that night."
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
We didn't talk about our families after that. The only thing that we discussed was what would happen, but Mason just shrugged. Things were left unsettled. I couldn't be around my mother. I knew that much. I also knew that Mason and Logan wouldn't be moving back without me. So all the questions and decisions regarding my mother and his father were left unsaid, Mason said things would get settled one day so I left it alone. When we got to that extravagant apartment, the normal doorman wasn't there. Mason said he didn't work nights, but a young college kid was instead. After a substantial amount of money, he agreed that if anyone called, we weren't there.
When we got upstairs, Mason texted Nate and Logan to let them know that we went away for a night. He didn't tell them where, but I knew how close all of them were. I'm sure the other two could figure it out. When I asked what they were doing, Mason gave me a crooked grin and picked me up. He didn't say anything more and neither did I. The rest of the night was spent with moans, kisses, caresses, and the need to get as close as our bodies would allow.
I started to fall asleep when the sun began to peek through the blinds. Mason rolled over and pressed a kiss to my shoulder. A jolt of pleasure coursed through me, and I grinned into the pillow. I snuggled deeper into the blankets and drifted off with his hand on my back.
When I woke, the room was masked in darkness. After a shower, I left the shelter of the bedroom, and the sunlight blinded me. I'd forgotten the a
partment had windows for its walls. No one could see inside so I wasn't worried about that, but the light that shone through was staggering.
"You'll get used to it." Mason's voice trailed from the kitchen. He grinned as he stirred something in a pan on the stove. With only a pair of sweats that rested low on his hips, my mouth watered as I took in the sight of him shirtless. His oblique muscles curved underneath his pants' drawstring, but his stomach and back ones rippled as he continued to stir.
Everything about him was perfect.
"I bought juice." He gestured to their refrigerator.
"Coffee?"
Grinning, he nodded to a cup on the counter. Steam rose from the small opening in the lid. "Figured you'd want that too."
"Did you?" As I went to grab it, I trailed the tips of my fingers across the bottom of his back.
He whirled in a flash. Before my hands could touch the coffee cup, I was lifted onto the counter beside him. He was between my legs in the next heartbeat, and his mouth was slammed on top of mine before anything else registered with me.
Hunger, deep and primitive, rushed through me, and I gasped. I needed more. Wrapping my arms around him, I clamped my legs around his waist. I held him tightly against me, urging his hips closer and closer.
His tongue swept in before he gasped, "I never get enough, never enough."
My tongue swished against his and he groaned. His hands pushed underneath my hips and he pulled me out for better access. I was throbbing between my legs. I tried to get him even closer, but his hand slid between us.
A groan ripped from the bottom of my throat. I needed him. I was blind with desire for him. Then his finger stroked me at the top. I shuddered in his arms. Two of his fingers slipped inside. I couldn't help it. I fell back, but he caught and lowered me to the counter until I was stretched out before him. As he readjusted my hold around his waist, his fingers continued to slide in and out.
I groaned. Pleasure spiked through me. I needed him inside of me. That was all I needed.
