by Lara Lacombe
“Is James in trouble?” She held her breath, hoping the answer was no.
“Oh, yeah, but not as bad as some,” he informed her cheerfully. “Carmichael was asked to retire, and believe me, he did not take it well. You should have seen—”
If Thomas didn’t stop babbling about Carmichael and tell her what was going on with James, she was going to lose it. “What about James?” she interrupted, trying to steer him back on course.
He regarded her with wide eyes, the very picture of innocence, but she caught the way the corner of his mouth twitched up. He was teasing her. The nerve of the man!
“James got his hand slapped for the stunt he pulled at the museum, but it’s nothing major. He’s been working double-time, chasing down leads Caleb has given us.”
She let out her breath in a relieved whoosh. “So his job is safe?”
“As far as I know.”
“That’s good.”
Thomas frowned, tilting his head as he regarded her. “I’m surprised he didn’t tell you this already.”
She looked away, her fingers fumbling on the blanket. “I haven’t seen him in a few days. I asked him to leave.”
Thomas raised a brow as he studied her. “I see.”
Kelly rushed to explain, feeling her face heat. “I wanted him to work on the case, not waste his time here,” she lied, hoping she sounded more convincing than she felt.
“Well, whatever you told him didn’t work. He’s come to the hospital every day.”
It was Kelly’s turn to frown. “No, he hasn’t. I haven’t seen him.”
“You mean...” He trailed off, shaking his head. “What an idiot.”
She stared at him, watching realization dawn on his face. “What?”
Thomas looked up, his bright blue eyes narrowing slightly. “You really haven’t seen him?”
She shook her head. “No. But there have been times I could have sworn he was here. I just thought I was going crazy.”
He leaned forward, putting both feet on the floor. “I’d be willing to bet he’s visited but hasn’t wanted to wake you.” He shook his head as if puzzled by this behavior. “No wonder he’s been so moody lately,” he muttered, almost to himself.
Kelly felt a flare of curiosity at his words, but she ruthlessly tamped it down. James wasn’t a part of her life anymore, and she shouldn’t have asked about him. She was only torturing herself. She didn’t need to hear about how he was or wasn’t doing.
“How’s the investigation going?”
If Thomas noticed her desperate attempt to change the subject, he didn’t comment.
“Pretty well. Dr. Collins was singing like a bird until his lawyer showed up and explained that he really shouldn’t tell us everything he knows without some kind of deal in return. Now the legal eagles are arguing over immunity or some such nonsense.” He lifted one shoulder in an eloquent shrug. “It’s fine, though. We got enough out of him to break open a few new angles.”
“What about Caleb?” She suppressed a shiver at the thought of those cold eyes.
Thomas sat forward. “He’s talking, too, and you’re not going to believe this—he was hired by the CEO of Wilkins Pharmaceuticals.”
“What?” She shook her head, convinced she had misunderstood. “Why?”
Thomas rubbed his fingers together in the universal pantomime for money. “The company is circling the drain. An outbreak of bioterror events would send people scrambling for their antibiotics.”
“Please tell me Wilkins is under arrest, too!”
Thomas nodded. “The guys from the Jersey office picked him up a few days ago. He’s been quite vocal about his distaste for our accommodations.” The corners of his mouth turned up in a wry smile.
“And how is Ruth?”
His smile faltered a bit as his gaze slipped to the floor. “She’s dead.”
The unexpected news hit her like a slap. “What? How? Did Caleb—”
Thomas shook his head. “It looks like a suicide. She was found in the hotel room, a bottle of sleeping pills next to the pillow. She didn’t leave a note.”
“Oh, my God,” Kelly murmured, shivering as a wave of sadness swept over her. She hadn’t really known Ruth well, but the older woman had always been kind to her. The thought of her swallowing a handful of pills in a dingy hotel room was disturbing, to say the least. No one should have to spend their last moments alone like that.
“Does George know?” He must be devastated. Ruth was his world, the reason he’d gotten involved in this mess to begin with. For her to kill herself like that must have destroyed him.
“He’s not doing too well. He spends a lot of time asleep in his cell, speaks only when spoken to. They have him on suicide watch.”
Kelly shook her head, blinking back tears. How did it come to this? People sickened and killed by the bacteria, injured by the bomb blast. James shot. She was lying in a hospital bed, for crying out loud. And now two lives ruined, all because of one bad decision on the part of a desperate, misguided man doing what he thought was needed to save the love of his life.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, alone with their thoughts. Finally Thomas stretched out his legs and gave her a rueful smile. “Let’s move on to some happier news.”
“What did you have in mind?” She wiped away a stray tear with a sniffle. Thomas was right—no sense dwelling on things that couldn’t be changed.
“For starters, the nurses told me you’re getting discharged in the morning.”
“They did? That’s news to me. Why did they tell you first?”
“I have a way with the ladies,” he said, waggling his brows and giving her a flirtatious wink. She couldn’t hold back a giggle and reached over to press a hand to her side when it ached in protest.
“Anyway, do you need a ride home?”
She blinked at him, taken aback by his offer. “I hadn’t actually thought about it. I guess I do. It’s not like I have a car here or anything.”
He stood, shot his cuffs and smoothed down his tie. “Great. I’ll stop by tomorrow morning.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
He shook his head as he walked toward the door. “Not at all. Besides, it’s kind of tradition for me to pick you up from the hospital.” With a wink he was gone, leaving her alone but smiling.
Three weeks later...
“You are a moron.”
James glanced up in surprise as Thomas plopped down on the neighboring bar stool and ordered a beer.
“Excuse me?”
The other man turned to face him. “You heard me. You’re a moron.”
“I don’t remember inviting you out tonight.”
“You didn’t. I came as a favor to you.”
James turned back to his drink. “Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t need company.”
“Sure you do.” Thomas nodded at the bartender as he set down his drink; then he picked it up and took a long sip. “Someone has to help you pull your head out of your ass.”
James tightened his grip on the sweaty glass, determined not to let his temper get the better of him. Thomas was just trying to goad him, and he wasn’t going to take the bait.
He turned to stare at the other man, who was scooping up a handful of mixed nuts from one of the bowls that were placed at intervals along the bar. As far as he knew, Thomas had never been here before, and he was already making himself at home as if he owned the place.
Knowing he wouldn’t leave until he’d said his piece, James decided to try to speed the process along so he could go back to drinking in silence.
“You obviously have something to say to me, so why don’t you just get it out?”
Thomas chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then cleared his throat with another sip. “Are you usually this grumpy when you drink?” The corner of his mouth tugged up as he fought to contain a smile, which only made James’s mood darken further. He did not feel like cracking jokes and laughing tonight.
“Only when I want to b
e left alone. Don’t try to change the subject. Why are you here?”
All traces of humor left Thomas’s face as the other man gave him a level stare. “Because you’re making a huge mistake.”
God save him from this cryptic conversation! “Could you just get to the point?” The game would be on soon, and he wanted to finish his drink in peace and head home to his empty apartment to watch it.
“It’s probably escaped your notice, but you’ve been a royal pain in the ass lately.” When James opened his mouth to respond to this nonsense, Thomas glared at him and kept talking. “Don’t bother to deny it. Ever since the operation at the museum, you’ve been a jerk. People are tired of being treated like crap, and you need to cut it out.”
James gritted his teeth, biting back a retort. He so did not need this right now. With the office in an upheaval over all the personnel changes and his personal life in the crapper, the last thing he wanted was to listen to Thomas go on and on about how he wasn’t playing well with others. As far as he was concerned, they all needed to stay out of his way and let him do his job. Was that so much to ask?
“Message received,” he said coolly, taking another sip of his beer. “Now run along.”
Thomas rolled his eyes. “For the love of all that is holy, would you just get over yourself and call her?”
James coughed as his beer went down the wrong pipe. After clearing his throat and wiping his eyes, he glanced at Thomas. “What did you just say to me?”
“I said call her.”
James decided to play dumb for the moment. “Call who?”
Thomas merely stared at him, waiting. After a moment James looked away, giving up the pretense. “She doesn’t want to see me.”
“What makes you say that?”
James ran his finger along the edge of the soggy cardboard coaster. It felt disturbingly slimy, but it was better than looking at Thomas.
“She asked me to leave.”
“When?”
“While she was in the hospital.”
“I didn’t know she saw you.”
James looked away, unable to meet the other man’s eyes. Technically, Kelly hadn’t been awake for most of his visits. He’d gone by her room every day, needing to see that she was okay so he could focus on the investigation into Caleb’s organization. Creeping into her room while she was asleep had made him feel like a stalker, but since she’d made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him, it was the only way he could check on her without upsetting her.
James nodded, deciding not to tell Thomas the whole sordid story. “Yeah. I was there when she woke up. She asked me to leave.”
“Interesting,” Thomas muttered.
James huffed out a laugh. “Sure. Whatever. Anyway, I’m not going to call her because she doesn’t want me to.”
“I don’t know about that,” Thomas said, sounding dubious.
James glanced at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
The other man lifted his shoulder in an easy shrug. “Just that I think she misses you. A lot.”
His stomach flip-flopped at that, but he refused to get excited about the possibility that she wanted to see him. She’d been very clear in the hospital. Still, his curiosity wouldn’t allow him to stay silent.
“You’ve talked to her?”
Thomas nodded, taking another sip from his glass. James waited for him to elaborate, his impatience mounting as the other man remained infuriatingly silent.
“And?”
Thomas met his gaze. “And what?” he asked, his tone oh-so-casual. He looked for all the world like another clueless guy, but James caught the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth and knew he was being played.
“How is she?” he bit out, his pride taking a backseat to finding out about Kelly. Even though she didn’t want him in her life, he still cared about her. More than he wanted to.
“Like I said, she misses you. I think you should talk to her.”
James mulled this over for a moment. Did she really want to see him again? Could she have changed her mind? Maybe she had reconsidered all the things she’d said in the hospital.
Or was Thomas just setting him up? He didn’t think the other man had anything to gain by sending him in to get his heart ripped out, but maybe he was misreading her signs....
“Did she actually say she misses me?” As soon as the words left his mouth, James winced, knowing he sounded like a fumbling teenager. It couldn’t be helped, though. If he was going to talk to Kelly again, he wanted some kind of assurance he wouldn’t be shot down. He didn’t think he could handle being rejected by the woman he loved a third time.
“She didn’t have to,” Thomas replied, choosing not to comment on James’s sophomoric question. “I can just tell by the way she acts.”
Jealousy was a hot flame in his chest. He’d seen her? Spent time with her? When? Where had they gone? Had it been a date? He narrowed his eyes at the other man, considering him in a new light. He’d seen the way women reacted to Thomas, how he’d lay on the charm and have them eating out of his hand. Had he done that with Kelly? Was she another notch on his bedpost now?
His thoughts must have showed on his face, because Thomas held up a hand. “Whoa. It’s not like that, man, so dial it back a notch. She’s just my friend.”
“I’ve never known you to be just friends with a woman.”
“Well, I am with this one. Besides, she doesn’t want me. She wants you, if you’ll ever man up enough to go after her.”
James turned back to his beer. “It’s complicated.”
Thomas groaned. “Gimme a break. Life is complicated. Why should this be any different?”
“Because it just is.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I used to think you were a smart guy, but you’re clearly not. My mistake.” Thomas stood, drained the last of his beer and threw a bill on the bar. “You have a chance here, something most people don’t get. Kelly is an awesome woman, and if you don’t try to make it work with her, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.” He clapped James on the shoulder, then walked away.
“Thomas?”
The redhead stopped at the door, turning back to look at James with one brow raised.
“She’s okay? Really?”
Thomas sent him an exasperated smile. “Ask her yourself,” he replied, a subtle dare in his tone.
James turned back to the bar, his thoughts swirling. Maybe Thomas was right. No, scratch that. There was no maybe about it—he knew Thomas was right. He’d been thinking about Kelly nonstop since the accident, to the detriment of his job performance. And okay, yes, he’d been a little snippy with everyone. It was hard to be cordial when he’d spent his time reliving their conversations over and over again, obsessively looking for any sign that Kelly might be willing to forgive him.
Walking away from her after she’d told him about Gary had been a huge mistake. He’d been overwhelmed at the time, but it didn’t matter. She had needed him, and he had turned his back on her, just like everyone else she’d ever worked up the courage to tell. She deserved so much better than him, but maybe, just maybe, she’d give him another chance to make things right.
He realized now that if he didn’t talk to her again, didn’t try one last time, he would spend the rest of his life carrying around the regret and guilt of letting her go without a fight. After all, if he put himself out there and she rejected him, he could move on, secure in the knowledge that he’d tried everything. But if he didn’t even attempt to win her back, he’d never be able to get rid of the ache in his chest that had become his constant companion since the morning she’d walked out on him all those months ago.
He had to talk to her. She might not roll out the welcome mat for him, but he was going to tell her once and for all how he felt about her. If she laughed in his face, so be it. At least he’d know for sure, which was a damn sight better than wondering.
He just hoped it wasn’t too late to turn things around.
&
nbsp; * * *
Kelly frowned at the shirt in her hand, weighing her options. It was her favorite shade of green, but she’d bought it almost six months ago and the tags still fluttered from the sleeve. She should probably throw it in the donation pile, but it was just so pretty....
“All right, you can stay,” she muttered, resolving to wear the shirt soon as she hung it in the large wardrobe box camped out in the middle of her bedroom. She was almost done packing up her closet, and then it was on to the bookshelves.
She was getting close to finishing up, which was a good thing since the movers were coming tomorrow and she still needed to do a quick clean of the bathroom and kitchen. No way was she going to lose her security deposit because the place needed a professional cleaning after she moved out.
Her apartment, already small to begin with, was now a cramped maze of cardboard boxes, with half-finished rolls of packing tape and stacks of newspaper adding to the overall aesthetic. She hated the claustrophobic feel and was looking forward to settling into her new place. It was a little bit smaller, but the amazing view of the Potomac more than made up for the loss of space.
So she had set about packing up her belongings, getting rid of things she no longer needed or hadn’t used in years. Thomas had driven her to the local Goodwill on several occasions so she could drop off loads of stuff that she didn’t want to take with her. Hopefully, someone else could use her leftovers.
It felt good to purge her home like this. Clearing out all the unwanted items really felt like a fresh start, something she needed to do to move on with her life.
She’d known in the hospital that she couldn’t stay in this apartment. Not after the shooting. She only had to close her eyes to see the shadowy figure standing in her den, his arm raised. And even though she knew it was impossible, every once in a while she’d catch a whiff of gun smoke and cordite, and she’d be taken back to that awful night. It had taken her several days before she’d been able to sleep at night, and even now she slept fitfully; every little noise jerked her awake, her heart threatening to pound right out of her chest.
Moving was the best thing for her to do, even though it was an exhausting process made even more tiring by the fact that she still wasn’t back to feeling 100 percent. The doctor had told her to take things easy for a while, and she would—just as soon as she got settled into her new home.
