by M. D. Grimm
I was often surprised by the fact that Morgorth hadn't gone insane by the tortures. He wasn't a bitter, cold mage. He had a big heart, one he guarded viciously. I suspected I had Master Ulezander and Elissya to thank. Master Ulezander had found Morgorth after my mate had left his family, at seven years old. Elissya had trained alongside Morgorth, her being Master Ulezander's great-something niece. They'd shown him kindness, compassion, proving that the world wasn't just a cruel and harsh place. Happiness thrived if you knew where to look.
I unbuckled his belt. My heart started to beat faster as I disrobed him, but I held myself in check. It had been a couple of days since we'd made love, and I greatly disliked the celibacy. But every night Morgorth would drop into a deep, exhausted sleep, and I never had the heart to wake him.
I took off his boots, and he sat up slightly as I slid his trousers down his legs, tossing them with his jacket. I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering over him. He noticed my appreciation, and I smiled when he blushed.
The fact that he did blush and still felt so self-conscious was adorable.
"I'm sorry, Aishe," he said.
"For what?"
"For, you know, being so tired all the time." He cleared his throat and gently touched my cheek.
I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his waist, kneeling between his legs. He rested his arms on my shoulders, and though his face was still red, he met my eyes.
"I remember what my own training was like, Morgorth," I said. "And while I might be frustrated that you spend most of your time with your mentor, I don't resent it. This is important."
"So are you," Morgorth said immediately.
I kissed him. There was a time, not very long ago, when he wouldn't dare say such words to me. He'd say something cruel out of fear, out of the desire to keep distance between us. Once he would have rejected the mere notion of dependency and shoved me away, but the time for that had long since passed. He sank into my kiss the way I wanted him to. A small moan escaped him as his arms tightened around my neck. I closed my eyes and let the warmth and taste of him surround me. My hands moved up his back, fingers bumping along his spine, feeling him shake at my touch. Then I moved my hands down to his hips before sliding them along his thighs, tickled by his hair. When I touched the back of his knees, he shuddered and broke off the kiss.
"That tickles," he murmured.
I smiled against his lips. "You shouldn't tell me that. Now I'll have to tickle you."
He grinned.
While I didn't mind the smell of his sweat, I knew he'd feel better after a hot bath. Reluctantly, I broke away from him and turned off the water, which had filled the tub sufficiently. Morgorth stood before slipping into the water, a deep, almost erotic groan issuing from him. I smiled and began to strip while he watched. I wasn't going to have him enjoy that bath alone.
I liked the way he looked at me as I stood naked in front of him. I've never been self-conscious about my body. Even when I was a child without any muscle, I could happily go swimming naked with my brothers and friends and not care. And now, though it might sound conceited, I knew how good I looked. I never saw a reason to be modest about it -- my body was that of a warrior's. It was lean and muscled, my strength gotten from vigorous, dedicated discipline and training.
But Morgorth's appreciation and fascination with my body, even the way he was looking at me at that moment, made me feel even prouder of my physique. His pupils were dilated as his gaze lingered on my groin. Then he held out his hand to me.
I took it, slipping in behind him. The water burned for several moments before it became soothing. I grabbed the unscented bar of soap and lathered my hands before gripping Morgorth's shoulders, giving him a deep muscle massage. His head fell forward as he completely surrendered to my touch. I cleaned as I massaged, gripping his arms, sliding under to his armpits, then down his sides, using my thumbs to rub his shoulder blades.
He sat between my legs, and it was predictable that I hardened, and that he felt it. Morgorth glanced at me over his shoulder, smiling. I leaned forward and kissed him while my hands slipped to his chest, pinching his nipples. He jerked in surprise but leaned back against me, giving me full access. I took advantage of that, touching him everywhere, feeling like I'd been starving the last few days. This was the first real break Master Ulezander had given Morgorth, and I was determined to make the best of it. His scent filled my nose just as his flesh filled my hands, and flashes of memory from our first time together filled my thoughts. My actual first time with a lover would never compare with my first time with him. It had been lovely, sweet, explosive -- and so had every time since. But now we knew each other's bodies, where to touch to arouse the other faster. I knew every weakness and sensitive spot my mate had on his body and used them frequently to my advantage.
I grabbed more soap and slid my hands through his hair, massaging his scalp. Then I looked down to see him stroking himself, and my heart pounded against my ribs. I didn't think he knew he was doing it because his eyes were closed, and the stroking was too languid for him to really be trying to reach his climax. And he was still embarrassed to touch himself while I watched, though I found it a most arousing sight.
I watched, hungry, and after I rinsed his hair, removing the sweat and putting my mate into a relaxed state, I reached down and took hold of him with both hands. Morgorth's eyes popped open, and he gasped as I stroked his shaft vigorously with both hands. I nipped his earlobe and he gripped my arms, spreading his legs, giving me as much access as I needed. He writhed against my chest, his ass rubbing against my own hardened shaft. I groaned and stroked harder, biting Morgorth's neck, marking him.
When he came it was beautiful, as always. His body stiffened, and he murmured my name before falling limp against me. I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him everywhere my mouth could reach. I rubbed my own erection against him, shivering with the pleasure. We lay there as the water cooled, just holding each other. I found it somehow more intimate than when we made love. But that shouldn't surprise me: How many times had my arms ached over the years, yearning to hold this mage? Just to hold him.
Suddenly, Morgorth turned in my arms and straddled my legs, a large grin on his face. "I don't know what it is about you, dialen, but you recharge me like nothing else can."
I grinned as he curled into me, his hands reaching down and gripping my throbbing shaft. He gave me the same treatment I'd given him. His slightly callused hands scrapped deliciously against my sensitized skin, making my breath back up in my lungs. He would never admit it, but he had a more giving nature than most. I've had other lovers and some were selfish, and wanted me to give them pleasure without any intention of reciprocation. It had never been that way with Morgorth -- he always made sure he gave as good as he got. That had been a slight fear of mine during my younger days. I'd always wondered what sort of lover he would be.
I couldn't have been happier with what I'd found.
I gripped his ass, my fingers pressing against his hole, wishing I could be inside him. Since Morgorth was training and a lot was being demanded of him physically, we both agreed it wouldn't be wise to disable him with vigorous lovemaking like that. I wasn't completely thrilled about that since I had a deep enjoyment at being inside him, but I also didn't want to do anything that would hinder his training. And he never had enough energy to be inside me.
I came in his hands, my head falling back to the side of the tub. Morgorth nipped my neck, his hands stroking my inner thighs.
"Thanks," I managed to say.
Morgorth chuckled. "You really are too good to me. And far too patient."
"One of my worst qualities," I said, my tone teasing.
Morgorth continued to sit on me, and I had no desire for him to move. My eyes were closed, and I absently stroked one soft cheek of his ass. He didn't have much of one, but what he did have, I loved. The sudden intensity of his gaze made me open my eyes and meet his. His hair was half wet, half dry, and extremely messy. It was amusing to se
e considering he always had it neatly slicked back.
"I mean it, Aishe," Morgorth said, suddenly serious. His eyes had lost their playfulness, and his mouth was set in a thin line. His moods still took me off guard sometimes. "I haven't been very considerate of you since Master Ulezander arrived. I'm sorry. I'll try to do better."
"Morgorth, I understand--"
"I know," my mate said, sighing. "But you shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have to be patient and understanding and... I'm still not very good at this. At you and me."
"You're doing fine." I sat up, wrapping my arms around him. "You're doing better than you think. Morgorth, if I feel neglected, I'll tell you. I promise. But I don't. I know this part of your training won't last very long, and then I get you all to myself again. I can wait."
I hoped I was speaking the truth. I hoped his training didn't last much longer, or else I didn't know if I could continue to be patient. I'd been patient for too many years and now that I'd finally found him, had him, I didn't want to waste any more time. But some things had to come first.
Morgorth kissed my cheek. Then he whispered in my ear, "I don't care what we agreed on. I want you to have me tonight."
My eyes widened. My arms tightened around him. "Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. You're not the only one who's frustrated."
I smiled and kissed his shoulder. "I'll be gentle."
"You always are." I barely heard him, his voice was so soft. I closed my eyes for a moment, thanking the Mother for our bond, our trust. Sometimes I couldn't believe that my deepest dreams and fantasies were made real. I had imagined and fantasized for years about what it would be like to make love with Morgorth, and it was wonderful to learn that those imaginings didn't compare with reality.
***
"This round of training is focused on things you need to improve?" I asked as we dressed. We'd had some fun drying each other off with Morgorth's soft towels, but now it was time to rejoin the real world. Morgorth had to be ready for training this evening.
"That's right." He pulled on fresh trousers before buckling his silver belt. "My stance, which Uzzie says is the foundation of every mage, endurance, manipulating the magick in elements, and channeling that magick into myself, my hand-to-hand--"
"How much exactly have you been slacking on?"
Morgorth scowled at me. I resisted telling him I thought that look was cute. He got really pissed when I called him cute.
"I've been busy, okay? You know, building Geheimnis, claiming Vorgoroth, defending my home against arrogant kings, and chasing down stupid sorcerers with those stupid stones."
Grief tried to rise up, but I pushed it down. Morgorth hadn't meant to inadvertently mention my tribe. His thoughts were exclusively on the Stones of Power, the gemstones that had been infused with magick by the first seven mages ever born. Their numbers were unknown as were their powers. There were major stones, which gave unlimited powers to the user, and then there were minor and lesser stones, which only gave power over certain elements or even beasts. I learned all this from Morgorth who had made it his duty to find all the stones and lock them away. He saw them as a menace. I couldn't disagree.
It was a stone that led to my tribe's massacre. A stone that every chief of my tribe, for generations, had protected.
"Sorry."
I looked at Morgorth, who had grown paler than usual. His eyes showed his guilt. "I didn't mean to... your tribe and all. I really should think before I open my stupid mouth."
"Don't worry yourself over it." I touched his shoulder. "I'm all right. The pain lessens with each passing day."
Morgorth got a strange look on his face but nodded. "I just... should I be asking you about them? Asking you to talk about them, I mean? Or should I just leave that alone?"
There were times when it struck me acutely that this mage, who was looking so unsure right now, was the terror of all other mages as well as the two kingdoms to the north and south. This mage, who could be so shy and blush so easily, made others tremble in terror.
"You can ask me about them any time you want, Morgorth. I want to remember them, and I like to talk about them. I won't fall to pieces because of my grief. I'm working through it."
"Okay." Morgorth looked slightly relieved. "But -- you're not alone, okay? I don't want you to think you have to deal with this alone. I may not know what it's like to lose someone like that, but -- I'm here."
Sometimes he knew just what to say. I hugged him, and he hugged back, gripping my tunic.
"Thank you, my love."
Chapter Four
Nearly one year earlier
I shoved on my boots, listening to the activity outside the tent. The usual muffled noises: conversations, both heated and jovial, the bartering over goods, the commands of masters training their students. I was used to it all; it barely registered.
The air was crisp and held the scent of baking bread. I wondered if I could snag a loaf without anyone noticing.
A strong arm slithered around my waist, and I smiled, grabbing my other boot.
"Stay," the groggy voice said.
"I can't." I removed the hand and stood, grabbing my tunic. It was inside out. I sighed and fixed it, glancing at my lover for the night. He was strong and surprisingly generous in bed, though he made sure I knew he was being generous, as if he would receive points for his thoughtfulness. It was annoying. But he satisfied me, and his experience gave me further knowledge of how to give pleasure.
My tribe had been with the Lania tribe for about a month now. He and I had met each other the first night here. On the second night, I'd given us a chance.
"What's your hurry?" Slydde asked. He spoke in his tribe's dialect, and since there was much intermarriage between our two tribes, I knew his language as well as my own.
"I'm hungry. And I have some practice to do."
"Practice for what?" He snorted. "You're not training anymore; you do know that, right? You're an adult now. Not a child, not a student."
I shrugged. "If I don't use it, I might forget what I have learned." I couldn't risk that. I'd worked too hard to be where I was now.
Slydde smirked. "If you don't get back into bed, you might forget how to give pleasure."
I rolled my eyes at his obvious ploy for more and shook my head.
There was a moment of silence between us, and then, "Your tribe leaves in a week's time, don't they?"
I nodded, pulling the tunic over my head before belting it around my waist.
"Stay here."
Completely thrown, I frowned at him. "Pardon me?"
Slydde stood. He was the same height as me, but slightly bulkier. His muscled body was nice to look at, and I allowed myself to survey his masculine beauty. Even annoyed with him, his beauty was something I'd always appreciate.
"You heard me, Aishe." He gripped my hand. "Stay with me. I want you to. I'd miss you too much if you left me."
I frowned harder. "Slydde, do you not remember what I told you our first night together?"
It was his turn to frown. Then he scowled. "You said you wouldn't stay. You had no interest in a committed relationship."
"That's right."
"But things change!"
"Not for me."
He let go of my hand and got a stubborn set to his jaw. I sighed inwardly. I'd learned of his reputation the first day here. He was a dialen who wanted a succession of lovers and nothing more. That was why I'd chosen him. I'd assumed we could find pleasure in each other's arms and then move on. It was disappointing to learn that was no longer the case.
Most of my "relationships" ended amicably, both parties having gotten what they wanted out of it. But it would seem Slydde wanted more. I had no interest in bonding with another dialen, though I knew no one in my tribe would disapprove of Slydde. He was a good tracker as well as a decent archer.
Most bonding was politically motivated, though love was encouraged between the two parties. The tribes had to gain something from the union, either a good war
rior, or hunter, or healer. My mother's sister, Adella, had bonded with a council member of the Lania tribe, connecting this tribe with my own. This certainly helped when one of the tribes found themselves in a war, like the one with the glenshods years ago. The other tribes our members bonded with were called "sister" tribes. We had a select few we could choose mates from, and any new tribe presented would be met with cautious optimism.
"You're just a pillar of ice, aren't you?" he said with a snarl.
I shook my head, and bent to retrieve my sword, bow, and quiver. "I don't want to argue. I told you how I felt in the beginning, and I still feel the same. I'm sorry to hurt you," -- I was -- "but I have no interest in you that way. I'm sorry."
I turned to leave. He gripped my shoulder. I tensed. If he got violent, I was going to stick an arrow in his gut.
"Who is it?"
I looked over my shoulder. "Who, what?"
"Who do you love?"
My heart jumped against my ribs, and I shuddered out a breath. Where do I even start?
"No one you would know." I shrugged off his hand.
"Who has your heart?" he demanded.
I took a deep breath and prayed for patience. "I owe you nothing, Slydde. We are done. I will spend the rest of my nights here alone. I'm sorry, but we are over."
Slydde's eyes narrowed and he curled his fingers into fists, his knuckles popping. "When I find him, I'll break him in half."
I nearly laughed. "I think I would like to see you attempt that."
My confidence and lack of concern threw him. I'd known he was a brute when I met him, and that was part of my attraction to him. But now it was all just annoying.
"Why?"
I smiled slightly, shifting the quiver on my shoulder. "Because he's a mage."
I had the pleasure of seeing Slydde's face pale before I exited his tent, walking purposefully toward my own tent. Break Morgorth in half? He'd have better luck catching a bidadari.
