by M. D. Grimm
Still, little Amyla's face haunted me. She had been a pure, loving little soul, always wanting to please, always finding pleasure in life. She could always comfort, no matter the circumstance. She had been the true healer, whether using healing magick or not. I missed her. I missed them all.
I closed my eyes and forced myself to think of other memories. The happy ones. The ones where she would make me laugh, when she tickled me, when she challenged me to a race. I'd always let her win.
Amyla.
One single tear slid down my cheek, but before I could wipe it away, another hand did it for me. I opened my eyes and turned my head. Morgorth was staring at me steadily. I saw exhaustion in his eyes but also the struggle to push it aside.
"Go to sleep, Aishe," he whispered. "You need rest as well."
I nodded. I turned fully to him and tucked my head under his chin. He wrapped his arms around me and I slid my arms around him. I closed my eyes, forcing my brain to shut off. He was right. I had to sleep. I had to be strong. The dead didn't need me anymore. The living did.
Morgorth did.
***
Morgorth was able to walk in the morning. We didn't talk about my memory, and I preferred it that way. I wanted to keep moving forward, to not dwell on the unpleasant past. I smiled as Morgorth pulled on his clothing. I found pleasure in watching his single-mindedness at the task. The buckling of his belt, of his jacket. When he started on his boots, he realized I was watching him.
He smirked. "You should get dressed, too. As much as I like eating naked with you, I don't think Master Ulezander would appreciate it."
I grinned. "Just admiring."
He blushed. I beamed.
"Nothing to admire."
"As I'm the one looking at you. I think only my opinion matters."
He snorted, but his face was still red. He pushed his hair back, using gel to make it stay slicked back, away from his sharp face. Then he just turned and stared at me, shaking his head slightly.
"I don't think I will ever understand why you find me so attractive."
I stood, secure in my own nakedness, and laid my hands on his shoulders. "I love you. That should be reason enough."
He nodded. I could see he wasn't convinced.
"You know, I do get extremely frustrated when you can't seem to accept what I feel for you."
He grimaced. "I don't mean to..." He sighed. "Be patient with me, Aishe, I beg you. I've felt unwanted all my life." He lowered his eyes. "Unworthy, I guess. I've only ever felt good about my magick and what I can do with it." He fell silent, crossing his arms over his chest, refusing to look at me.
I pulled him to me, nuzzling his neck. I knew how he felt. Before him I'd had no purpose, no goal. I'd been a burden on my family. But I'd grown, and I liked myself now. It would seem, though, that Morgorth had not yet learned how to love himself. I wanted to cause pain to everyone who had wounded my mate's poor heart. Who had berated him, hated him, struck him down when all he ever wanted was to be loved and accepted.
"I'm good at being patient," I said softly. "You are mine. I am yours. After all we've been through together, how can I not love and admire you? Your strength, your courage, the way you protect that which you care for. I am honored to be your mate."
He hugged me back, gripping me tightly. "I'm the one who should feel honored. You've put up with me with impossible patience and understanding."
I chuckled.
He kissed my cheek. The gesture was painfully tender and affectionate.
"I admire you, too, Aishe. I trust you like I trust no one else. I do believe you when you say you love me and you like the look of me. I just don't always understand it because..."
"Because you don't see yourself as I see you." I finished for him when he faltered. I pulled back and met his eyes. His brown eyes were so deep; it was like staring into an impossible abyss that threatened to suck me in. But, unlike most abysses, I wanted to leap inside.
"Then it's my job to make you see yourself the way I see you. I always did like a challenge."
He smiled, just like I wanted him to. He squeezed me once more before letting go. "Come on, I'm hungry."
I dressed quickly, and we met Master Ulezander in the larger parlor on the first floor. The boygles were as silent as always as they brought the food. They gave me hard stares, but I ignored them, or feigned it as best I could.
"We will be focusing on channeling elemental magick today, Morgorth," Master Ulezander said, after taking a large gulp of water.
"Good. Working on my stance was getting boring," my mate said in a drawl.
Master Ulezander raised a stern eyebrow, but I could see the amusement in his eyes. "Do you remember the principles of channeling elemental magick?"
"You use your own magick as a container for the elemental magick, so it doesn't harm your core," Morgorth said, in a tone that told me he'd recited it many times before. "You use your own magick like a hook to latch onto the element, pull it into yourself, and then you can harness the element, or the energy of the element."
"And why don't we use our own magick to harness the elements?"
"Too much work for too little results." Morgorth smiled.
"I don't completely understand," I said.
Morgorth turned his attention to me. "Elements are tricky and hard to control. A mage can create an element, like fire or water, but that expends his energy too much, and in a battle that can be fatal. Every element has magick in it, put there by the Mother. Only, a mage can tap into that with his own and use it in a fight. But elemental magick is strong, oftentimes fatal to the untrained. Grabbing too much can destroy a mage's core, their life force."
I gulped.
Morgorth patted my hand. "That's why we learn to use our own magick as a container, protecting us. We keep the foreign magick within that container, insulating ourselves. Our own magick also becomes a hook so we can latch onto the magick in the element, and pull a small portion into ourselves, into our container. From there we can manipulate the element. Control it. Or, we can use the magick in the element to boost our own."
I nodded, remembering him explain it to me after the battle with the necromants. I think I understood it better this time.
He glanced at Master Ulezander who'd sat quietly during Morgorth's explanation. "Anything else you want to add?"
Master Ulezander smiled slightly. "Your explanation was adequate--" Morgorth snorted "--but I also want to mention that elemental magick cannot be stored. If it is channeled into the mage it must be used at once."
"You used that against the necromants," I said, understanding dawning. "The tornado you created."
Morgorth grimaced. Master Ulezander watched him intently. "Well, somewhat. I channeled some air along with the storm that was above us. So, yeah, I did in some respects. But not as much as I should have. And I don't think I did it correctly. I wasn't thinking." That last he added while looking, almost apologetically, at Master Ulezander. "You taught me better, Master. I'm afraid my emotions and my fear made me reckless."
Masters Ulezander took a slow sip of water, eyeing Morgorth over the rim of the goblet. "It can get the better of even the wisest of us, Morgorth. But perhaps the memory of the magick fever will dissuade you from acting recklessly again."
Morgorth inclined his head in a gesture of recognition for the slight reprimand.
I watched them, their interactions, and tried to understand what they didn't say. There was such trust, such a strong bond between them. It occurred to me that it went far beyond that of student and teacher. I remembered, vividly, when Morgorth had spoken of his time with Master Ulezander. When Uzzie had protected Morgorth from the Council of Mages. Protected him against their attempt to murder him when he'd been but a child.
Morgorth had told me more later. His own fear of the mages, the way Master Ulezander had held him, shielding him with his own body. I could just imagine, too well, a young Morgorth, a child with dark hair and dark, haunted eyes, held protectively by a sligh
tly younger Master Ulezander. Uzzie had put his life on the line to protect my mate. To teach him, educate him.
Love him.
I wondered if Morgorth even realized that he'd had a father all along. Someone he could look up to, someone who would have his back, who would stand by his side, no matter the consequences.
"Channeling elemental magick," I said. "Did you do something similar to Kayl's magick? When we were in Elissya's village?"
Morgorth shook his head, swallowing his large bite of meat. "No. That's something a mage should only do if there aren't any other options."
I noticed that Morgorth pointedly ignored Master Ulezander's raised eyebrow. His eyes stayed on me.
"I can't use another mage's magick. Physically can't. A mage's magick is unique to that mage, only under that mage's control. Elemental magick is simple, standard. Air magick is air magick no matter where you are on Karishian. What I did, with Kayl, is allowed that magick to pass through me, using myself as a..." Morgorth paused, seeming to search for a word.
Master Ulezander joined in. "Think of the spell that Kayl created as a swift, fierce river. The river suddenly splits off into two directions. Morgorth dammed up the direction the river wanted to take that led to a coastal town and sent it flowing through the other river, changing its composition, its course, rendering it harmless."
I nodded. "But wasn't that dangerous?"
Morgorth smirked. "Most definitely. It could have wreaked havoc with my own magick if I hadn't had a secure line of energy for it to follow, bypassing my core."
I shook my head in wonder. He was simply amazing.
We finished breakfast leisurely, and I followed the mages outside. Morgorth, of course, flew me to the training field, the clearing on the southern edge of Vorgoroth. I didn't think I'd ever grow used to flying, the realization that I could plummet to my death with one wrong move. I still remembered that damn helioon that had attacked me, during our hunt for Kayl. I had fallen, surely to my death, but Morgorth had rescued me, using all his power to keep us from harm.
It hadn't taken me long to learn to put more trust in Morgorth's actions rather than his words. His words had been cruel and dismissive, but his actions had illustrated his true feelings. He'd never stopped saving my life, putting his own life in danger to do so. There'd never been any hesitation on his part. Never, not once. That was how I learned he loved me. It was my only proof until we sat in that dark cave, after he'd saved me once again from Kayl, and I managed to get him to open up. He'd admitted his feelings. His fears.
"Aishe, you still with me?"
I blinked. We were on the ground now, our arms still around each other. I smiled. I'd missed the flight, but that was just another testament of my trust in him.
He would never let me fall.
"Always." I gave him a quick kiss before pulling back. Master Ulezander landed a heartbeat later.
They began immediately. I watched, trying to understand. But they seemed to speak a different language.
"Channel it, Morgorth." Both mages knelt across from each other, and Morgorth's palm was set against the ground, his eyes closed.
"Feel the magick," Master Ulezander spoke gently, soothingly. "Feel it fluttering inside the dirt, the rock, the grass. Feel the life force the Mother instilled within it. Do you feel it?"
Morgorth nodded.
"Good. Now, channel it. Use your own magick. Let it flow out of you. Make it grasp the element, and then pull it gently into yourself. Do not jerk it or force it. Persuade it. Keep it steady."
My mate nodded again, and a tight frown formed on his mouth as he did as instructed. His skin glowed like it always did when his magick was "near the surface," as he called it. He murmured a word, his voice too quiet for me to hear. That strange mist that his magick became when not directed into a spell, flowed out of his hand that lay upon the ground. It flowed into the grass, the dirt, and then, with another word, his magick flowed back into him. But this time, a foreign gray mist came with it. The two mists twined around each other like faint ribbons.
"That's it," Master Ulezander said softly. "Keep it steady. Earth is a steadier element than fire or water, and you've already proven you can harness air. But, despite your misgivings, I am rather surprised, and impressed that you managed to channel air in such stressful circumstances."
"Don't be impressed with desperation." Morgorth's voice was strained.
I saw a small smile touch Uzzie's mouth. Morgorth didn't; his eyes were still shut.
"Quiet now," Master Ulezander chided. "Focus on what you're doing. Steady your breathing. Feel the elemental magick fill you, feel it touch your own."
"I feel it."
"Good. Now cut off the flow. Gently."
Morgorth nodded jerkily, and I saw the gray mist suddenly stop entering his hand. It broke off like a knife had sliced through it, then gently flowed back into the ground.
"Now, stand. And direct it."
Morgorth stood and opened his eyes. They were glowing amber. His stance shifted, and I noticed he bent his legs slightly, creating a wide foundation. He flung his hands out with a word that sounded like "thuelene," and the ground shuddered, groaned. It churned like troubled waters, Morgorth's arms directing the movements. Sweat formed on his brow, slid down the sides of his face, but his concentration was admirable.
It wasn't long before the ground buckled and shook. I watched, astonished, as he created a large hill out of flat field lands. The ground groaned as it was forced under the control of my mate. I was nearly shaken off my feet, and had to keep moving to stay standing. Master Ulezander stood off to one side, watching with a blank expression.
Then Morgorth gasped and bent over, gripping his knees. He panted but recovered after several deep breaths.
"Did you use all you took?"
"Yes."
"Well done," Master Ulezander said. "We will do a few more exercises, and you will learn how to draw the magick more quickly. Then we will battle using only earth magick. Then we move on to water."
Morgorth met my eyes. "Oh, goodie."
***
After I watched Morgorth change the composition of snow into water, he proceeded to control and contort it, twisting it into odd shapes, I decided it was time for me to leave. He seemed to quickly understand the concept and practice of elemental magick, and I couldn't suppress a small amount of envy. I wanted to do what he could. I didn't think less of my own skills, but his were so much more than my own.
Though, the envy didn't last long or grow too strong when he formed the shape of a heart out of the water, and shot me a goofy grin.
I proceeded back to Geheimnis but took the long way, meandering through the trails. I came across the small clearing that was home to burrowers, strange creatures that resembled flat bugs with pinchers. But they were too large to be bugs. They created webbing above the burrows, and any poor creature that became tangled in the webs was immediately attacked and devoured. Morgorth had discovered them nearly a month ago on one of our rare trips to Happy Valley.
It had been the same day those mages had invaded our home.
My grip tightened on my bow. I forced myself to ease my grip and took slow breaths. The venomous hatred they harbored for Morgorth had shocked me. Yes, perhaps Morgorth had warned me of how the other mages saw him, but until I'd seen the evidence for myself, I'd always harbored hope that he had misunderstood. Or that there could be some accord struck between them. But I no longer had that hope.
They had been set against him from the moment they learned of his existence.
I stopped walking and pulled my coat tighter against my body. A trul moved through the trees to my right, and a ghostly rym tried to lure me away from the trail. I didn't think it knew who I was, that whatever tricks she thought to play on me wouldn't work. I watched her, amused. She was a gray-ish white, with long, tangling hair, and deep-set sparking eyes. Her form shifted between that of a seela and that of a sure-footed deer.
I turned away from her, and s
he gave up, disappearing into the darkness. I fingered the amethyst around my neck.
Morgorth's destiny was something I tried not to think about. It scared him. It scared me. At first, I was able to convince myself that I could prevent that destiny, that I could simply love him and be loved by him, and change what the Mother had written.
Arrogant, yes, but it helped me gain entry into Morgorth's heart.
But when those mages arrived, spewing their poison, I finally saw that their hate was formed from a bone-deep terror of the Destroyer they were convinced Morgorth would become. Morgorth was the seventh son of a seventh son. Two other mages had been born with such a lineage, and they had destroyed much of the world, murdering millions. The Council of Mages had watched out for seventh sons from then on. They acted swiftly and cold-heartedly when one was discovered. But the seela population only continued to grow, and they couldn't keep track of every big family.
Morgorth's father had slipped through. He'd known what he was, and decided to actively pursue having a seventh son. He'd tried to "train" Morgorth. He'd tried to turn his son into a tool of destruction, a tool that would only serve him.
Ferocious anger heated my blood, churning in my stomach. I hated that faceless creature who had tortured my beloved for most of his childhood.
Morgorth's destiny had caused him to isolate himself in this place. I looked around at the dark home he had created for himself. One he ruled and controlled.
I'd come to a realization when those mages had pressured Morgorth to give up Rambujek, a major stone of power. Destiny or not, monster or not, I was with Morgorth to the end, whatever end the Mother had for us. I would try my hardest to keep him from that dark path, but should he turn, I would always stay by his side. I knew that would cause me pain and misery. He would destroy Karishian, the world I loved so much. He would destroy those who'd caused him pain; he would make the seela kings cower on their thrones. But what else could I do?
