by Anna Edwards
“I love you,” he reiterated.
“I love your cock,” she joked.
“Lucky I’m nineteen and a virile man, then, because we’re going to be doing that a lot more.”
“Forever.”
“Forever.”
“Isobel,” her brother’s deep voice called out from somewhere nearby, jolting her out of her memories. She stood up and looked around to see her brother running from the steps of the library. He was dressed in his standard leather jacket, t-shirt, and jeans. She’d bought him the jacket for his eighteenth birthday, and he rarely took it off. She’d been sitting outside the library because it was such a lovely day; it was his day to pick her up. She’d only recently been allowed to see him again as her brother and father didn’t get along well. In fact, her father had banned him from coming into the house. Kingsley and her father didn’t share the same views on politics and had come to such vicious blows about it that her father had ordered him out of the house. All anybody knew, from outside their family, was that her father paid for his eldest son to live closer to his place of work. They didn’t know the two of them couldn’t stand each other and hadn’t been in the same room together for almost a year now.
“Hey, Kingsley.” She stood up to be greeted by her brother. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her into a warm embrace. “You ok? Hope you haven’t been waiting long. Traffic was busy. I thought we could leave the car here and walk to that restaurant you like.”
“That would be great.” She hadn’t eaten since she’d had a small ham sandwich at lunchtime; she’d been too busy at work and was now starving. Her stomach rumbled, agreeing that its favorite restaurant was the best place to go.
“Maybe I should phone ahead with your order.” Kingsley laughed and wrapped his arm around her. “How was your day?” He asked as they started walking. The restaurant was only a few minutes away.
“Busy. What about you?”
“Crazy. I swear people come into the shop just to drive me mad, sometimes.” Kingsley owned his own tattoo company with five branches across Montana. Another thing that her father didn’t approve of and was probably the catalyst to their falling out. Her brother had always been careful, though, and only had tattoos where they couldn’t be seen. He didn’t have any piercings like some of the other people who worked at the shop, well, none that she knew of anyway.
“Of course, they do,” she teased him. “You’re easy to wind up.”
“You’re not supposed to agree.”
“I’m your sister. It’s my job to annoy you.”
“You can buy your own dinner.”
“Sorry.” She pouted at him.
“That’s cheating.”
“What?”
“The look. You know I can’t resist it when my baby sister gives me the puppy dog look.”
“So, I don’t have to pay for my own dinner?”
He shook his head in exasperation. They arrived at the restaurant, and he held the door open for her. They were playful when they were together. She missed him being at the house. She didn’t think her father would let her move out anytime soon. She’d asked Kingsley if she could move in with him, but even though he’d agreed, her father had said ‘no’. It was one thing to have his son living away from him, but his daughter… No, that couldn’t happen. She had to be ever present by his side. She was a surrogate replacement for their mother who was worse than useless as a wife to her father. There was no relationship between her parents anymore. There hadn’t been for a long time. The love had died during the long periods of time that they spent apart. Although they still lived together, for the sake of their sanity, they had their own lives. She loved both her parents even though they were stifling in their control of her. Kingsley was lucky that he’d gotten out.
“You ok?” Her brother pulled her chair out for her, and she sat down. “You’ve gone quiet.”
“Father is becoming increasingly crazy. I’m worried about him. He doesn’t see the number of people who are laughing at him. I think he might lose his seat soon.” She sat herself down, pulled her napkin out, and laid it on her lap. The waitress held a menu out to her, but she didn’t need to look at it because she always had the same thing: honeyed tofu, it was her favorite.
“I saw the speech on the TV the other day. It wasn’t pretty.” Her brother took the menu and scanned it. He usually had the filet steak and fries.
She shook her head.
“He was really down afterward. I don’t know why he has this crazy idea about people turning into animals. It’s just making him a laughing stock.”
Her brother sipped his water.
“Crazy, yeah.”
She knew he was keeping something from her. It was the same way whenever they spoke about shifters. She should tell him what she saw happen with Zain but couldn’t risk it. Just the thought of Zain caused her heart to ache, and she placed her hand on it. He’d left her a few days after they’d slept together for the first time, and she’d watched him shift – although he didn’t know about that. She hadn’t seen him since. He’d broken her heart, and she should hate him, but she couldn’t. Deep down, she knew the reason he left her was because of what she’d seen. He’d protected her, given who her father was. She took a sip of her water, and the waitress came over to take their order. She was right; Kingsley had steak and fries.
“You thinking about Zain?” Her brother’s question had her head pop up from where it was staring at the empty glass.
“Always,” she replied honestly.
“You still love him?”
“I’ll love him until the day I die.”
“I’m having a party at my house this weekend. Why don’t we ask Dad if you can come? You can stay in my spare room? Maybe get to know some of my mates. I have a few single ones. You never know.”
“I don’t want to date,” she adamantly responded.
“You don’t have to date them. Just chat to people, and see where it leads.”
“I don’t want to sleep with them either.” She pursed her lips together and stared at him.
“As your brother, I’m glad to hear that. But, speaking as a person who likes sex, sometimes you just need to get laid.” He raised an eyebrow at her. This conversation was getting far too weird.
“Sex is what got me into this position in the first place,” she snapped back.
“I’ve told you a million times that he didn’t leave because he thought you were no good in bed. Zain had lots of issues after his parents’ death. He needed to work through them.”
“It’s been five years since he left.” The waitress arrived, and they remained silent while she put the food in front of them. Kingsley thanked her, and she winked at him. Her brother was a chick magnet. The waitress then glared at Isobel and left with a sway of her curvy hips. Kingsley sliced his first bite of the steak and popped it in his mouth. Isobel cut her tofu but suddenly didn’t feel hungry. There were too many memories in the honey sauce, which Zain always used to scrape clean from her plate.
“Five years is a long time. It’s another reason you need to try and date. See what happens.”
She shook her head.
“I can’t; I feel as though a part of my soul is missing. I don’t even know if Zain is still alive. I’d like to think that my heart would know if he weren’t, but I can’t do it, Kingsley. I can’t forget him. I can’t picture myself with anyone else. I’d rather stay single for the rest of my life. He was it for me. My life, my love, my everything. Without him, I’m nothing.”
“Izzy?”
“No. No more, Kingsley. Can we just eat please?”
“I’m sorry.” Her brother placed his knife and fork down and reached out to squeeze her hand in apology. She smiled at him in acceptance. The damage was already done, though. The memories had resurfaced, and later, when she was alone in her room, the tears would fall again for the missing part of her that she believed was still out there, somewhere. She just hoped that, wherever he was, he remained sa
fe and happy. It was the best she could manage.
CHAPTER FOUR
Zain saw the tension in Isobel’s shoulders when they left the restaurant. The dinner with her brother hadn’t gone well. Usually, they were close. He wondered what was wrong. He watched Kingsley’s Mercedes pull up to his father’s house. Isobel kissed her brother on the cheek, she got out of the car, gave him a wave goodbye, and disappeared into the house. Kingsley whacked the steering wheel and pushed the accelerator to pull away. The car meandered down the driveway and out onto the road. Zain stepped out from where he had been hiding in the bushes. Kingsley saw him instantly and swerving toward the curb, he wound the window down.
“You’d better get in.”
“I’m surprised you’re allowing me.”
“I made my peace with your reasons for leaving her, years ago. Shame you two haven’t.”
Zain climbed into the car and pulled the seat belt over him, clipping it securely. “I’m surprised those things fit you. You’ve bulked up a lot in the last few years.”
“Comes from having little to do all day but exercise. The bear genes don't help either.”
Kingsley grimaced at the mention of the secret that lay between them and shifted the car back into drive to pull away from the curb. Isobel’s brother knew exactly what he was. He knew of the existence of most of the Glacial Blood pack because he’d helped them on more than one occasion with information about his father. It wasn’t always this way. He hadn't known when Zain left Isobel. The big bear had shown him the truth when Kingsley had found Zain and come to beat the crap out of him for abandoning his sister. The second Kingsley saw what he was, he knew why Zain left and supported his decision. To make Isobel choose between her family and the man she loved was too much. Zain made the decision for her.
“You going back to the mansion?” Kingsley questioned.
“You know I can run it in less time than it takes you to drive.”
“I know. I’m just humoring you.” Kingsley sighed.
“What was wrong with her?” he asked.
"The usual, no, worse than that. It’s been five years, and she still thinks you left because she was no good in bed for you.”
“We sent her that letter?” he queried and looked out of the window. Isobel’s scent was in the car. He allowed it to wrap around his nostrils and inhaled deeply to memorize it again. They wrote a letter to Isobel a few months after he left. He said in it that he was struggling with his parents’ deaths, and he needed time and space, and that she should move on with her life. She was still the same beautiful girl he fell in love with, but he was broken by the accident. It was all a load of crap. He missed his parents more than he could express, but he left first and foremost to protect her. After the letter, his love of honey escalated to the overwhelming proportions it was today. It brought home to him just how much he missed her and wanted her in his life but couldn't. He replaced one honey for another, this was now his philosophy in life.
“She never truly believed that.”
“I can’t go back to her now. You saw your father’s campaign talk the other day. People may still laugh at him, but it’s hitting home. He’s a dangerous man. If he found out what I am, it would put Isobel in danger.”
“I know, but we have to do something. She’s drowning. She’s not living anymore. She goes from one day to the next with a broken heart, which won't heal. You can't leave her like that any longer.”
“What do you expect me to do?”
Kingsley looked in the rearview mirror and indicated to pull over to the side of the road. They were in the middle of nowhere. If Isobel’s brother had doubts, similar to his father’s about Zain’s nature, he was indicating his trust with this one decision.
“You need to tell her face to face to move on.” Kingsley turned toward him.
“I can’t. It’s too risky.” The big bear shook his head. They’d had this argument far too often, and he wasn’t going to budge. He was as stubborn as he was massive.
“Then, you’re sentencing her to death. Judge, jury, and executioner. I can't allow you to do that anymore, Zain. I can't watch my little sister waste away. If you have feelings for her, you’ll put an end to it, or I’ll tell her why you ran away.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Zain growled at his friend. He had this unbelievably protective streak when it came to Isobel even if he, himself, was the biggest culprit when it came to her suffering.
“This time, I will. I can’t watch it any longer; it’s killing me too. I asked her to come to a party I’m holding, and she said ‘no’ because she still hopes that you might come back. She hasn’t seen you in five fucking years. That’s crazy, man. How can you bear to watch her like this? You're selfish. It’s a case of ‘if you can’t have her nobody can’, and that isn’t fair. If you’re truly doing this to protect her, then you need to let her go properly. You need to see her, tell her you’ve moved on, and that she needs to do the same.”
Everything stilled in his mind. The years he’d been watching Isobel. She’d go to work, go home, and the next day the same in an endless cycle. She never went out with any friends. For kicks, she read books. Her phone lay silent, except for calls from her family. She really did have no life, and he’d made her that way. He knew what he had to do.
“I’ll talk to her,” he told Kingsley.
“Thank you,” his friend replied and started to drive again.
Zain leaned his head back against the rest on the seat, watching the world zoom by. He’d talk to Isobel then walk away forever. The big fight was coming, and he needed to concentrate on that. He’d make sure that she’d be able to move on with her life and truly live it, even if his ended.
CHAPTER FIVE
Isobel wasn’t sure how she let Kingsley talk her into this: a party with loads of his friends. It was the last thing she felt like doing especially as it was apparently a means of setting her up with one of his mates. The music was loud, and people were drinking. She’d had a bottle of beer but wasn’t impressed. Alcohol wasn’t something high on her list of priorities. She preferred a nice cup of tea. Somewhere in a past life she must have come from England with this habit.
“Izzy,” Kingsley poked his head out of the kitchen and called her. “Come here, I want to introduce you to someone.”
She reluctantly left her safe, secluded spot on the high backed chair in his lounge and ambled over into the open plan kitchen. Her brother was standing with a man who was a similar build to himself — although he was still smaller than Zain would be now, she noted. He had brown hair, shaved at the sides and long on top, and a tattoo of what looked like a snake’s tail that started behind his left ear and disappeared into his vest. She wondered where it continued to down his body.
“Here she is! Izzy, let me introduce you to Ian. Ian, this is my sister Isobel. Izzy, Ian studied English Literature at University as well. He’s a writer now.”
“Hi.” Ian held his hand out for her to shake, which she did. “Kingsley tells me you work at the Montana University library. I think I spent most of my time in there when I was studying. Is old man Bennett still there?”
She smiled at him, “Yes. He’s my boss now. If he’s having a good day, then my job is fun, but if he’s found a student putting a book back in the wrong place, then you would think the world was ending.”
Ian laughed.
“What do you write?”
“Crime books. I got picked up by a publisher a while back; I was indie until then. They’re working on re-branding. Hopefully, we will be re-releasing my first series soon.”
“That’s fantastic. Well done, you.”
“It doesn’t exactly pay the bills, yet, but I write part-time for a newspaper, so I have some money coming in.”
“At least you’re doing something with the degree you got.” She bit her tongue when she thought about what she was doing with her life. She’d never left university, really; she was the librarian there, now. It was either that or the janitor, probabl
y.
“You haven’t written?”
“I tried a few times. Guess I’ve got writer’s block.” They both went silent this time.
“Hey,” Kingsley broke the quiet. “Why don’t you two go back in the other room and get to know each other a bit better. I’ll bring you a drink. Izzy, another beer?”
She shook her head. “Just a coke, please.”
Her brother raised an eyebrow at her.
“Actually, I’m not feeling too well. I’m going to get a breath of fresh air. I’ll be back in a little bit.”
Before someone could say anything to stop her, or to offer to come with her, she was out the kitchen door and into the garden. Ian was nice enough, but whenever she looked at him, she compared him to Zain. Why couldn’t she get over her first love? She walked down the small garden toward a woodland at the bottom. Her hand went instinctively to her neck. Around it, she wore the necklace Zain had given her for her sixteenth birthday. She hadn’t taken off the infinity symbol with a diamond ever since, for it was as much a part of her as her soul mate was. This was a stupid idea; she should never have agreed to come to this thing. She’d phone her father’s driver and ask him to come and get her. He was available at all hours of the day for her needs. Well, when he wasn’t ferrying her mother to whichever beauty appointment she had that day.
“I’ll walk you home, if you want.” The deep baritone voice came from the woods in front of her. She looked around but couldn’t see anyone, not until a shadow moved into the moonlight that was illuminating the garden. Her breath caught, and for a brief moment she thought that the one beer had gone straight to her head; surely, he must be a hallucination. Zain stood in front of her. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, which showed he’d bulked up even more since he’d been gone. He’d gotten a tattoo sleeve and grown a wild beard. He looked even sexier than she remembered.
