by Nikki Landis
He took a bite of the Rueben sandwich in his hands and chewed, shrugging his shoulders. Once he swallowed, he answered with a smirk. “Not much. Could have been a lot worse.”
He didn’t elaborate and that irritated me. Club rules had to be obeyed and loyalty was admirable but Shadow didn’t know shit about the Russians and how they were related to me. We never talked about it since the memories were painful. He really didn’t know the connection or he would have never allowed me to leave, especially after what happened to Stefanie.
“You gonna fess up the truth or make me sit here clueless?”
“Easier said than done.”
“What is? The truth?”
“Yeah,” I answered, staring down at my plate. I barely ate three bites of the grilled ham and Swiss sandwich or the red skin potato salad. Picking up my glass of iced tea, I downed half the contents in preparation of the upcoming conversation.
“Do we need to go someplace else to talk about this?” He dropped his Reuben on the plate and leaned back, folding his arms across his chest. “I’m your friend, Naomi but I don’t need to know if it’s gonna hurt.”
God, he was so understanding. I really appreciated his compassionate nature. Shadow had more in common with Patriot than either of them liked to admit.
“I carry a lot of guilt,” I began, glancing around and noticing the nearly empty dining area. Almost everyone had already eaten lunch and were busy elsewhere.
“I know something about guilt,” he deadpanned.
Narrowing my eyes, I gave him a look.
“Fine. I’m shutting up.”
“I left behind friends I cared about, especially Katya.”
Tilting his head to the side, he contemplated what I meant. “Left behind? What does that mean, Naomi?”
“I know more about the Russians and the trafficking of girls in Nevada than anyone else.”
Shadow’s arms uncrossed as he swallowed hard and shook his head. “Don’t tell me they hurt you too.” Anger briefly flashed across his young and handsome face. “Fuck, Naomi.”
“I know what Stefanie went through . . . because I experienced almost the same exact thing.”
The bombshell was dropped and Shadow bolted to his feet, a panicked look in his dark eyes that quickly morphed into unbridled rage.
He stepped around the table and pulled me up, his slim, athletic frame trembling with the burden of the truth.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, enveloping me in his brotherly embrace.
I thought of him that way. A younger brother that I never had. We grew close and I cared about this kid and his future.
“You can’t get crazy about this. There’s more I need to say and you have to listen. It’s important.”
Shadow sighed and released me, sinking back on his chair as I took my place again across from him.
“Okay.” He was slightly grumpy but he’d get over it.
“Patriot rescued me the night Alexi Voltoy planned my murder.” Shadow let out a strangled sound of fury but I ignored him. “I was in Alexi’s car when the club jumped him and killed his men. He was brought back here to the Crossroads for interrogation. That’s when Patriot found me. I was drugged and tied up, falling out of the back and right into his arms. He’s taken care of me ever since.”
“That how your arm got burned?”
“Sort of. Alexi forced me to, uh, m-meet,” I stuttered, “with a group of guys. They’re the ones that burned me after,” I whispered, not daring to look at his face.
“After what?” he asked with concern. “Are you saying that you were violated?”
All I did was nod in response.
“Fuck,” he cursed, “Motherfuckers! I’ll kill them.”
“Rael already did.”
Shadow let out a low whistle. “Damn. That’s another reason I love that guy.”
“I’m sorry Stefanie was taken,” I whispered. “I wish I could have been there to help her.”
He stiffened slightly but then relaxed, working the muscle in his jaw as he sat up straighter. “None of this is your fault,” he responded with conviction.
“I made a promise to my friend Katya that I would try to protect her and keep her safe but I broke that promise.” Tears filled my eyes. “She was pregnant. Nobody knew. It’s been nearly five months since then. I have no idea how she’s doing or what’s happening to her now.”
“That’s not your fault either.”
“I know but it’s still hard.”
Shadow reached across the table and placed his hand over mine as my head lifted. “We’re gonna get these assholes. I don’t know when or how but we will.”
“Patriot is working on that.”
Shadow’s elbows slipped from the table as he leaned back, releasing my hand. “No wonder he flipped out when I took you away from the Crossroads. Those Russian fuckers are still after you, aren’t they?”
“Yes. That’s something only club members know. You can’t say anything, even to Rael.”
“Well, shit.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m not ever letting you out of my sight. Patriot is right. Your life is in danger and we’re gonna keep you safe. Whatever needs to be done, I’ll do it.”
“Oh no,” I argued, rising to my feet, “not you too.”
“Yep. You’re gonna have to deal with me being an overprotective ass like him.”
“Who’s an overprotective ass?” Patriot growled, glaring in Shadow’s direction.
Neither of us noticed he was there until now.
Shadow shot to his feet. “I apologize for my stupidity, Mr. Dixon. Naomi’s safety is a priority and I promise to stick by her side as long as I’m needed.”
Patriot nodded his agreement. “Good. She doesn’t leave the Crossroads and I want regular updates sent to my cell. Need to know where she is at all times.”
“Done.”
“Excuse me?” I asked, hands planting on my hips as I stood. “I’m right here. I think I deserve to be in on this discussion.”
Shadow held up his hands and backed away, heading for the door. He didn’t stop until he was out of sight.
“You can’t do that,” I spat angrily. “This is my life. You can’t dictate every single aspect of it. That’s not fair.”
“Mimi,” he answered with frustration.
“No. You just want to keep me tucked away and make all my choices for me.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? You keep telling Snooki what to give me for meals. We rarely join the rest of the club in the evenings because we stay in your room all night. You give Shadow instructions and order him to stay with me, stripping away my ability to make my own choices during the day or be alone. The club girls keep their distance because they don’t know what I mean to you.”
“Sunshine, that’s a bit overly dramatic.”
“No,” I argued, “I don’t have a voice. You’ve taken it over and expect me not to be upset about it.”
“Mimi,” he replied sternly, “I would never do that to you.”
“But you are,” I pointed out, growing increasingly agitated.
My emotions were out of control and I was close to losing it.
“I think you should calm down, baby. We can talk about this ––”
“I hate you,” I whispered, cutting him off, my lips quivering like a dam holding back a tidal wave of tears, splitting at the seams, and convulsing with the effort. Wouldn’t take much to crash through the flimsy barrier I constructed since my arrival at the Crossroads.
Fear. Loneliness. Pain.
They all helped to stack that wall I clung to stone by stone.
But most of all –– I was terrified of the hope that brimmed in the cavernous blue of his eyes, second to the hurt that shimmered within.
He was devastated that I would say such a thing and I wasn’t sure if I meant it or not.
Even so, a flash of heat darkened his eyes.
“Why?” Patriot asked,
his head bending down to eagerly snatch the next words from my parted lips, not the least bit fazed by my harsh and unexpected rant.
All I knew was that he made me deal with all the shit I wanted to ignore and he brought out emotions that were terrifying. After all that I’d been through falling in love was even more unexpected and frightening than almost dying.
“Because you make me feel,” I admitted, breathing heavy.
“Feel what?” That husky deep tone of his voice was nearly as addicting as the way his fingers drifted across the column of my neck and swept gently upward to caress the line of my jaw, holding my gaze without any effort at all.
He made me want to admit my secrets. Confess my heart was longing for his and wanted more.
“Everything.”
“I’d give you the whole fucking world.”
“Dale.”
"I would. I'd keep you right here in the shelter of my arms forever if I could."
While that was incredibly romantic it only reminded me that I still felt like a prisoner and a pretty little pet he wanted to keep locked away and safe.
“No.” With a sniffle, I shook my head, pushing him away. “I’m not a bird. You can’t keep me in a gilded cage forever, Patriot. I’m a human being. I’m alive,” I shouted, pounding on my chest with a fist. “I’m fucking alive. I breathe and I bleed. Don’t you get it?” My voice was so loud I knew everyone in the Crossroads could hear our argument and I didn’t care. “I can’t live like this. I’m not a pet or project.” He blanched with my words. “I want more. I want to fly! I want to soar!” Shoving him in the chest, I managed to knock the big biker backward a step as his mouth dropped open. “I want to be free!”
Patriot blinked, lifting his hands in surrender. “I don’t keep you in a cage, Mimi. All I’ve ever done,” he replied quietly, “was try to help you.”
Deflated, my head hung down and I knew my outburst must have stung. “I’m sorry, Dale. I know.”
“No need to apologize.” He moved forward and tilted my chin up. “I don’t see you as a victim, Mimi. I see you as a survivor.”
“You see too much,” I announced through sudden tears. “I’m like Sybil. A dozen different personalities.”
He cracked a smile. “I see you, pretty girl, and I’m not goin’ anywhere. I’m not giving up. I promise.”
He filled me with hope and his belief in me never wavered. Even when I was tempted to let all the bad shit that happened overtake me and my emotional wreckage was more than I could endure. Patriot knew exactly how to respond. He took all that pain, anger, and doubt away, saving me from the worst of it. Even if that meant saving me from myself.
His head lowered and a light kiss was dropped on the tip of my nose. “I’m your lifeline, remember?”
Sighing, I responded with humor, knowing if I didn’t, I would only burst into tears and a sobbing mess on the floor. “More like a punching bag.”
“I’m your rock, sunshine. Kind of hard to destroy.”
“Come on. We’re going for a ride.”
“W-what?” she asked, stammering over her words. “Are you kidding?”
“Nope.”
I sure as fuck wasn’t.
We had less than three days before shit was going down with Jones and Resnikov. No way would they make a move yet since it could compromise their shipment. This was my last chance to take her out for at least a week.
Jones texted my phone a few times but I ignored his attempt to lure me in. Asshole was getting what was coming to him and my Reaper couldn’t wait for him to beg. Right before I reaped his worthless soul, I would make sure he knew this was all for Mimi.
My hand slipped into hers and I led her outside to where all of our bikes sat in a long line of sleek metallic paint and chrome that shined bright as a new penny in the Nevada sunshine. Beautiful fucking sight. The midday sun made each one sparkle. Never saw anything so goddamn perfect. Prospects did a fine job of keeping them clean enough to eat off.
I tugged Mimi over to my bike and she flashed a grin, glancing at the tank. “Wow. You literally puke patriotism, you know that?”
The entire tank was painted with red, white, and blue and glistened as we stood there. She was right. Those stars and stripes defined who I was and I was proud of that fact.
Squeezing once, I released her hand as I reached for a helmet. “Yeah. I like my flag on everything. A mark of ownership and pride for me,” I admitted. “You’re gonna have to wear a helmet whenever you ride. No compromise on that. Same with keeping your skin covered and boots on those dainty feet.”
She nodded, excitement dancing in the blue of her eyes. “Uh huh.”
Only took a few seconds to place the helmet over her long hair and tighten the strap beneath her chin. “Lookin’ like a badass biker chick, sunshine.”
“Yes! Then get me on this motorcycle!” she shouted as one of the prospects snickered.
“Where do you think you’re goin’?” I heard a familiar voice call out.
Rael was leaning against the side of the building, ticking his head toward me and Mimi. “No one goes out alone.”
I flipped him off. “Stop bitchin’ and ride out with me.”
A chuckle left Rael’s lips. “Wraith is comin’. Won’t be far behind you.”
“Try to keep up!”
“Not a problem, brother. You’ll be in my dust as I glance over my shoulder.”
PATRIOT STRADDLED HIS ride, throwing a leg over as his muscles bulged with each movement. Thick, tattooed arms sported ink from the sleeve of his t-shirt all the way to his wrists. Black leather gloves gripped the handlebars where his hands were placed, taking control of the massive beast he handled with ease.
He was sexy and confident and all bad boy biker.
Couldn’t say I didn’t love that.
“Hop on behind me, baby.”
This wasn’t my first ride on a motorcycle but it was long enough that it felt like it. I managed to throw my leg over and settle behind him, sliding my arms around his waist. The closeness was different than when he gave me a hug or we lounged next to one another on the bed in his room. Even sleeping side by side, we weren’t all over one another. My cheeks grew warm as I thought about how my core was right up against his ass.
Don’t stare at how those tight jeans mold his muscled thighs, Mimi.
“Always hold on. Don’t ever let go for any reason and move with me not against me. Got it?”
“Sure.”
The bike roared to life and I held on tighter, leaning against his back as I sucked in a breath. The steel beast between my legs rumbled with power and for the first time since my rape I felt the intimate caress of arousal. Squirming on the seat, I tried not to betray the fact that my clit was buzzing, turning me on. The vibrations rattled my teeth slightly and shot energy along the surface of my skin, beckoning for me to lose control and allow the seductive whisper of arousal to fan the flames of sexual need.
A breathless squeal escaped as I gave Patriot a thumbs up.
“Knew you were gonna love this,” he announced with a cocky smile.
We began to move as the bike slowly rolled backward and Patriot’s boots slid along the ground, keeping us upright and even without tipping over to the left or right. Turning slightly, we ended up facing the main gate.
“You ready?”
“Oh yeah!” I shouted, causing him to laugh.
We rode to the front gate and passed through as I held him tighter, the anticipation growing as we made our way to the other side and out into the desert. A few heartbeats lapsed before Patriot hammered down and the full potential of his Harley was unleashed.
My head nearly whipped back as we sped off and a loud gasp escaped my lips. My fingers gripped his torso tighter as we merged onto Hwy 95 and took off like a bullet exploding from a gun.
Exhilaration flooded every cell in my body and I nearly bounced in the seat.
This was amazing!
“Spread those arms out, sunshine,” Patriot
yelled above the wind.
“Why?” I shouted back.
“I want you to fly!”
Endorphins raced through me as I let go and clenched the bike hard with my thighs. This went against everything I knew about safety but at the same time I couldn’t help feeling like a renegade. My head tilted back and I slowly released the hold I had on Patriot’s waist, opening my arms wide as the wind soared across my skin, billowing my clothes in the breeze.
“I’m doing it!”
“Fuck yeah, you are!”
I was flying! Everything else, the entire world and all its problems, faded into the dust behind us, and then a peace like nothing I had ever known settled over me.
Freedom.
I finally felt that elusive emotion rip through every inch of my body until my heart was pounding and I didn’t want this experience to end. Only when I couldn’t stand another moment without letting Patriot know how much this meant to me, I straightened up. My arms wrapped around him and my head lowered to his back as I squeezed so tightly that he began to slow down, reducing the speed of the bike until we rolled to a stop on the side of the highway.
Patriot lowered the kickstand and then hopped off, spinning around as he pressed up against me. The helmet was unbuckled and lifted over my head as he noticed the tears that shimmered in my eyes.
“Sunshine?”
“I finally felt it,” I exhaled, trembling with relief and gratitude.
“Felt what, baby?”
“Freedom,” I whispered, lifting up on my tiptoes and placing a light kiss on his lips.
“Damn,” he growled with a slight groan. “Do that again.”
“What? This?” My head lifted and I pressed my mouth to his, surprised when he picked me up and spun us around, deepening the kiss.
When we separated, he was breathing fast, his eyes as hypnotic as the ocean’s waves in the deepest part of the sea. “I’ve been waiting forever to kiss you.”
“You have?” I teased, nibbling on his lip.
“Yes. Fuck, you make me so happy.”
His confession brought a flush to my face. “Truly? Even when I’m a bitch?”
“You’re never a bitch, my sunshine. Sometimes the past likes to darken your glow but I’ll always be here to help you sparkle again.”
