Nic

by Dana Archer

  But strength wasn’t only physical. She too held power within her—courage, compassion, and…

  Love.

  She’d wield it however necessary to protect and hold on to what belonged to her.

  Her breath escaped on a hiss. She snapped her laptop closed and shoved her notebook in the top drawer of her desk.

  A boom sounded. The lights flickered. Another loud crack, and the power cut.

  She groaned. So much for her Internet searches. No matter. She had books from college in the storage totes in her attic. She made her way to the walk-in closet, where a pull-down ladder offered access to the attic, but halfway across the room, a thump cut through the night. She froze, her heart in her throat, and tried to remember if she’d locked her door.

  I did. I know I did. It didn’t mean someone couldn’t have broken in. Maria, maybe? Ready the take out the threat to her mating Nic? Then again, some of the pack members had her key, Hannah included. If Nic had told her what Riley had walked in on earlier today, there was a good possibility Hannah had come over to comfort her. The sight of Maria’s fangs and the incident with the injured shifter were too fresh in her mind, however.

  She pivoted and rushed to her nightstand. A loaded gun lay in the middle of the top drawer. Sean had insisted she get one after Nic left four years ago. Just in case, he’d said. He’d warned her not to develop any more deep relationships with the other female shifters either. In fact, he’d told her to distance herself from the ones she’d formed. All except Hannah and Jenna, that was.

  The reasoning made sense, of course. They wouldn’t have been threatened by her if they’d found out about Nic’s bite. Sean had never come outright and admitted to knowing about it, but she’d always suspected he did. At the moment, she was grateful for his insistence.

  Riley wrapped shaky hands around the cold metal and hurried to the middle of the room. Arms raised and legs spread, she pointed the pistol at the door and waited.

  Chapter 17

  Riley’s hands shook and her heart pounded. Her first instinct was to call Nic, but she didn’t move from her spot in the middle of her bedroom. Her cell phone sat on the table near the front door with her keys. Besides, what could he do for her? If the pack protector guarding her house hadn’t stopped the intruder, there’d be nobody close to intervene. She was on her own.

  After a long moment, the door opened. Nic’s wide chest filled the space. Relief swept through her, followed by confusion. Droplets of water marked paths down his bare chest to his drenched sweats and wet sneakers.

  Nic hadn’t come to her after a run as he had last time or else he’d be naked. Had he walked here? The thought struck her as odd, especially in a rainstorm, but no matter how he’d gotten to her house, one glance at his groin told her the reason why he’d come.

  Sex.

  Part of her was annoyed by the fact. The rest of her was glad. She’d take Nic any way she could get him.

  Riley let her gaze caress his body while the air between them sizzled. Her breathing quickened. So did his, expanding his chest and drawing attention to the muscles packed onto his frame.

  Unable to delay any longer, she focused on his face. Wet, tangled hair framed the harsh cut of his jawline. Hunger darkened his eyes. The soft glow to his blue orbs added to the raw look he wore and heightened his predatory aura.

  He bent and took off one shoe, then the other, tossing them down the hall.

  “What are you doing here, Nic?”

  He didn’t answer her. He slid his piercing stare from her face to the towel loosely tied around her body. She didn’t have to look to know what drew his eye. The thin material barely covered her nipples and reached just past her bottom. She’d poured her money into her clinic, not unnecessary items for her house. The hand-me-down towel served its purpose: to dry her. It was good enough.

  A low sound crawled up his throat, not a groan or a growl but something more primal. It whipped through her, and her body reacted to the primitive noise. He dragged in a deep breath, no doubt scenting her arousal on the air. Lips parted, he closed his eyes and panted.

  Trying to get himself under control? Not if she could help it. He needed to lose it, both the tight grip he held over his sexual needs and the ones stopping him from fighting for her and their pack. Because his appearance in her bedroom proved her right. He was torn between love and responsibility.

  Didn’t Nic realize he’d never be able to give his pack what they needed when he was broken? He’d end up being a shell of a man, one who no longer held any passion for life. Without it, he wouldn’t feel, not love or sympathy. How could he fight for those he’d sworn to protect if he didn’t care about them? Or life?

  Riley took a step forward, gun still leveled on him. “Answer me. Why are you here?”

  Her order had its desired effect. He opened his eyes and raised his lip on a silent snarl, likely in response to her order. Not good enough. She wanted him to snap.

  She approached him, gun pointed at his chest. The ruse was for his benefit. She hadn’t even taken the safety off. Even if he had been an intruder, she wasn’t positive she’d be able to shoot him. The oath she’d taken to protect was one she held close, much like her love for Nic.

  A few feet separating them, he growled. “Put the gun down, Riley.”

  The deep rumble to his voice matched the almost feral look he wore, one that warned he was about to lose control.

  “No, you see, I’m the one with the power”—she waved the gun—“and I just ordered you to tell me why you’re here.”

  He looked from her eyes to her lips and back. A smile spread over his face. It added to the wicked vibe he gave off. Her pulse quickened, and body heated. She locked her knees and held her ground.

  “Have you forgotten who I am?” Nic stepped into the room, kicking the door shut behind him. Another step pushed the gun’s barrel into his chest. “Or what I am?”

  “How could I? You’ve made a point of reminding me every time I see you. You’re the alpha wolf, and”—she flashed him an equally taunting grin—“a fool.”

  In a quick move she could barely follow, he grasped her wrists in one hand and fisted the edge of her towel with the other. She gasped, and he chuckled. “You’re right on both accounts.”

  “So you admit you’re a fool?”

  “Oh yes, Riley. I’m a fool.” He tugged on her towel. The cotton slipped from her body, pooling at her feet. He swept his gaze over her in a heated perusal that left fire in his wake. He finally dragged his gaze to hers. “I’m a fool for falling in love with you, and then—”

  “So you lied to me?”

  His gaze skimmed over her features before focusing on her mouth. “About what?”

  Riley dragged the tip of her tongue across her upper lip and then her lower one, leaving a tempting sheen of wetness, one she knew would entice him to kiss her. It worked. He leaned closer. She turned her head and his lips skimmed over her cheek. “Loving me.”

  “I never said I—”

  “Don’t deny it.”

  The corner of his mouth rose on a low growl, his annoyance showing over being interrupted. The sound whipped through her, weakening her knees. Her air rushed out on a surge of lust, but she sucked in a rough breath and glared at him.

  “Every time you slept with me, you whispered those words into my ear. You lied. Told me what you thought I wanted to hear so you could get off.” At least that was what he’d said to her the first night he’d left her. She didn’t believe it, but she’d use the tools available to her. The intense glow to his blue eyes and the rumble deep in his chest warned her she’d pushed him closer to his limit. Was it enough to crack him?

  He took a step forward, then another and another, forcing her to move with him. Her back hit the wall on the opposite side of the room. He raised her body, pinning her against the wall with his body, and plucked the gun from her hands. A few flicks of his fingers, and the bullets tinged against the hardwood floor. He tossed the empty gun and focuse
d on her face.

  “You did get me off.” He skimmed his free hand over her side and around to her bottom. She held her breath, waiting for him to make another move. Finally, he pulled her closer, his wet sweatpants chilling her and tempting her to snuggle closer. It was impossible. Held by her wrists above her head and his hips to hers, she couldn’t wrap herself around Nic the way she’d like.

  “What about you? Did I”—he brushed his lips across her cheek to her ear—“get you off?”

  The warmth of his heated breath spread tingles over her skin. She squirmed, rubbing against him. He didn’t counter her restless motions. His body remained stiff, much too far from hers with only their hips touching. Not good enough. She tugged her arms, trying to free them from his firm grip and failing. A frustrated groan crawled up her throat. “You know you did.”

  “Do I?”

  Her breathing quickened. “Yes. You always made me feel good before you ever did.”

  “Did I? Or did you lie?” He chuckled. “I’ve heard human females do that. Fake their pleasure so their lovers aren’t hurt, or maybe to get the sex over with quicker.”

  He nibbled on her earlobe. The tiny bites heightened her arousal, making her focus on every sensory detail he offered. She closed her eyes and tried to get herself under control. “Don’t be ridiculous. Our physical attraction isn’t in question. Our emotional ties, on the other hand, are. You’re lied to me, saying you…”

  He wrapped the fingers of his free hand around her throat. “You know, I never questioned your attraction or affection, but maybe I was wrong.” Nic nipped her jaw and nibbled his way to her lips. She parted them, silently begging him to kiss her. He continued his teasing bites across her other cheek to her ear instead. “Maybe you didn’t love me.”

  “I do.”

  She felt his smile against her skin. It lightened her heart and excited her at the same time.

  “Then why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  She swallowed hard. “I did.”

  He brushed his thumb over the pounding vein in her neck. “Twice.”

  Riley nodded and hoped he didn’t ask why.

  “Do you remember when, baby?”

  She squeezed her eyelids shut. “Yes, I remember.”

  “Tell me.”

  “The night you bit me.”

  “And the other time?”

  Her breathing quickened. Sitting in the ceremonial circle earlier had brought the memory back of their first time together. Emotion choked her. He’d teased her, aroused her, and worshipped her until she’d orgasmed multiple times before taking her virginity. Their loving had cracked her heart open, ensuring only Nic would own it.

  He licked her lips, first the top then the lower. “Well, angel?”

  “The first night we made love.”

  “Why not every time I told you?”

  Tears pricked at her eyes while heaviness settled low in her belly. Riley didn’t want to tell him the true reason. Voicing her fears might make them real, and she was fighting to stop it from happening. “Because.”

  He tightened his hold on her wrists, yanking them higher. Her back arched with the move, her nipples brushing against his chest. He eased back, breaking their slight contact. She whimpered. “Nic, please.”

  “Please?” He raised a brow. “So, you want me to keep touching you?”

  She squirmed as much as possible against him, needing relief from his sweet torture. “Yes.”

  “Then answer me. Why didn’t you tell me you loved me too when I gave you the words? That is what most couples do, express their love with words and actions.”

  She stared into his eyes, unsure of what to make of their conversation. Nic’s visit wasn’t turning out the way she’d expected it. He was on edge, a little crazed even, but he wasn’t in her bedroom for sex only. He wanted to talk as much as she did. Hope spread. “We were never a couple. Not officially.”

  “In our hearts, we were. Do you deny it?”

  Riley shook her head. She couldn’t deny his words. “But why there, Nic? Why did you insist we make love for the first time in the ceremonial circle?”

  He held her gaze, the truth stamped onto his face. She needed him to say it. Acknowledge what she was to him.

  “I wanted it to be special, to mean more than just hooking up.”

  Emotions choked her. She licked her lips, giving her precious seconds to put her thoughts into words. “By tradition, only pack alphas have sex on the sacred grounds. Am I right? Humans aren’t even allowed near the area, let alone within the ring.”

  “Yes, you’re right.”

  “Then why did—”

  “Why did I claim you as I would my mate?”

  Riley nodded, not trusting her voice. A lump had formed in her throat.

  “Because I love you.” He kissed from the base of her neck to her chin, then along her jaw to her ear. “Do you remember what I said to you after I spilled myself inside you?”

  She glanced away. “Yes.”

  “Tell me.”

  His order hit her. She couldn’t deny him the words. She met his gaze. “You said you’d love me forever, that no matter what happened in the future, I would own your heart.”

  “What else, Riley? What did I say before taking you a second time?”

  “That our souls would be reunited in heaven.” The reason she’d withheld her declaration of love came out on a sob that ripped her heart open. “That our love would tie us together and be stronger than any bond you would form in life.”

  Her sadness overwhelmed her. She needed space. Just a couple of minutes. Riley yanked her arms hard. He released her hands, and she pushed at his shoulders. He didn’t move. He held her gaze, the demand in his eyes clear.

  She dug her nails into his skin, no longer shoving him away but holding him in place and letting him see the hurt he’d caused her. “I always knew you’d become pack alpha but hadn’t realized what that meant until then. How was I supposed to tell you I loved you when I knew it wouldn’t matter in the end?”

  “Yet you felt it. You just withheld the words.”

  “Yes. I felt it.” Riley pulled him closer. “I feel it, Nic.”

  “Tell me.”

  She shook her head. “Not until you give me the rest of the reason why you took my virginity in the ceremonial circle.”

  He flashed her a smile. “You took mine too, angel.”

  “You planned it that way. For weeks, we’d teased each other, but you stopped us from having sex every time I tried to initiate it. I’d started to think you didn’t want me.”

  “Oh, I wanted you, Riley. Had from the first moment I understood what a woman and a man could do together.” He licked her lips, a slow swipe of his tongue over the seam of her mouth. Her air escaped on a moan, but he didn’t swallow the sound. He eased back enough to gaze into her eyes. “Even before that, I recognized what you were to me.”

  “What’s that?” she asked, but again, the answer burned in his glowing blue orbs. Would he voice it and give it life?

  “Mine.” He took her mouth on a deep kiss. Not hurried, he explored her as if he’d never kissed her before. She clung to him, following his lead and relishing the emotion she felt twined into his reverent strokes. Much too soon, he broke their kiss. “There’s magic in the circle, Riley. Our pack’s spirit is tied to the Mother Earth as much as it is tied to the alpha and subsequently all of the pack members. I claimed your body that night, ensuring you belonged to me and would fit me like no other female ever would.”

  It was why alphas often waited to claim their mates until the full moon, so they could first have sex within the circle. She’d known that, just not the reason behind it.

  “You own my body.” He’d said so himself. Many times.

  Hands at her waist, he lifted her higher. She wrapped her legs around him, crossing her ankles over his ass.

  “Yes, but you own my heart. I gave it to you years before I took your virginity.” He rubbed his thumbs over her hipbon
es in soothing circles. “And I prayed our pack spirit would have mercy on me and allow me to mate you when the time came.”

  “Didn’t you know—”

  “That I needed a child?” He nodded. “Yes, but at the time, loving you was more important than filling a role I never wanted in the first place.”

  “It still is, Nic.”

  He broke their stare and skimmed his open mouth down her neck to the bite he’d left on her shoulder. Her breath caught. A swipe of his tongue, and he laved the raised marks, skipping tingles across her skin and tightening her body impossibly more. “And then I matured. The night I shifted I was driven by needs I’d never experienced before. Primal ones, you understand?”

  She cradled his head and held him close. The memory of that night had replayed in her head many times. She’d analyzed every nuance of it, looking for what might’ve set him off. For a long while, she’d thought she’d done something wrong, but finally realized she hadn’t. Other than being born the wrong species, that was.

  “Your instincts made you change your mind.”

  “No, not exactly. My wolf changed it for me. He showed me what life with you would’ve been like because he made it clear he wouldn’t agree to our mating.” He pillowed his cheek against her shoulder. “You growing old with a lover who would outlive you. I wouldn’t have even been able to marry you. Having a husband who never aged would’ve drawn the human’s notice. We would’ve had to move somewhere and live in secret. I couldn’t have done that to you.”

  “So you made the decision to push me away, hoping that by hurting me enough, I’d hate you and find happiness.”

  He grabbed her calves and urged her to release him. She uncrossed her ankles and slid down the length of his body. He turned away.