But will I ever feel this way again?
Calm? Peaceful?
We can love someone for who they are. And we can love them for how they make us feel. I love my bloodmate for both.
I imagine taking off with Lil. Fuck knows where. Into the sunset. Leaving the bullshit behind. My friends, me crew, my title. Passing the Prez badge to Nash, dropping my cut in the dirt, nailing the throttle and never looking back.
It feels good to think about.
But will it happen? Fuck knows.
Grass is always greener.
I wonder if Lily and I would work if it was just her and me. She only knows me like this…a predator Prez. A murderous outlaw. Would the luster fade? The honeymoon joyride? Does she love me for who I am, or it it wrapped up in her love of the road, freedom, the life?
I look at Lil as she sleeps. I think she would.
Stay with me.
Even if I abandoned the MC.
But I don’t know.
My animal’s feeling mellow too. Something about being close to Lil does this to him. Chills him right the fuck out. Like how when she took off and he went wild, slashing into me, demanding to be freed so he could track her. The thought makes me wonder: what would I be like without this woman?
Less than I am now. That’s for certain.
I don’t want her to wake up. Not yet. She ran from me. Took off with our unborn son in her belly. Not that I entirely blame her.
I fucked up. Chickened out.
I should have known she’d never stay in Phoenix—
I’m looking down at my bloodmate, her face relaxed in sleep, drinking in the sight of her, her soft skin and full lips, marveling at how beautiful she is, my cock stirring as I think about kissing behind her ears, down her neck, cupping her naked breast in my hand, running my thumb over her nipple while she sleeps…and how good she feels right now, her smooth, soft, giving skin pressed close to mine, our warmth mingling…how we’re meant for each other…how right it feels when we’re alone…when suddenly Lil’s eyes pop open and I’m staring at her like a dipshit.
A lovesick puppy.
Quick as lightning, she reaches out and grips my swollen cock. Squeezes me so hard I gasp. Her eyes glitter gold.
“Asshole,” she says, sounding like she means it.
I try to speak but she squeezes me again, my cock tingling red-hot, my balls aching as need builds deep in my groin.
“Fucking. Asshole. Dog.”
She squeezes my cock with every word. She’s not being gentle. She’s fucking digging her claws into the side of me—
A rumbling snarl escapes my lips.
Then she releases me. Almost tosses my cock out of her hand, harrumphs, lays her head back on my chest and begins running her sharp fingernails over my tats, sending little electric pulses flickering through my body.
I lie very still. My cock’s fucking throbbing. The blanket’s tented up. I kind of lift my leg to hide it—
Lily harrumphs again, smacks my knee down. “What? You shy all of a sudden?”
I swallow hard, feel my Adam’s apple bob in my throat. Try to think of something cool to say. But all I can think about is gripping my bloodmate’s wrists and sliding onto her, my weight pinning her down, my cock opening her hot folds, settling deep into that secret joy we share—
Lily wriggles a little, lays her leg over mine so I can feel her pussy pressed to me. She’s so hot…a star going supernova.
“You miss that?” she asks.
I get it together enough to shrug. Bitch wants to play?
“Liar,” she says, still stroking my chest but now working lower, her fingers glancing across the peaks and valleys of my abs, then still lower, so close I almost raise my hips to try and bring her hand onto me again.
“Tease,” I say, my voice thick.
“Not teasing. Not interested.”
“Who’s lying now?” I growl.
Lily’s head flies up. Her eyes burn with hurt and anger.
Okay, bad move. She’s genuinely pissed.
“You think you’re such hot shit, Aaron. The One We Answer To? Well fuck that. You might have my animal under your thumb. But you don’t have me.”
“I fucked up,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
Lily lays her head back on my chest. “If I fuck you tonight, it’s because we’re great in bed. That’s all. Yeah?”
“Would you stay with me? If I quit the MC?”
Lily draws a quick breath. Her hand, which was tracing slow circles across my pecs, freezes. “What do you mean stay with you? We’re not even together. There’s make-up sex and break-up sex. You should get up to speed on what this is.”
“Why are you here then?”
“Because you have a great cock.”
“Cool.”
“Shut up.”
Lily gives my nipple a savage twist. I clamp my mouth closed to stifle a moan, but my entire body tenses. Lily slides a little more of her body onto mine. Her pussy presses against my hip and I feel her sweet wetness and my wolf scents his bloodmate near, scents her desire and he’s wondering what the fuck’s going on, blaming me for fucking shit up again—
“What if I said no?” Lily asks.
“About staying with me if I quit the MC?”
“No. About you ditching me in Phoenix. What would you have done? Tied me a fucking pole? Knocked me over the head?” Lily’s voice drops and octave. “Me Aaron. Me big caveman biker wolf. Me alpha. Me knock ‘em silly not-listening girl with club—”
“I wasn’t ditching—”
“Ditching.”
She inches a little further onto me. My cock’s about to explode, and it’s all I can do not to toss her to the ground and fucking ravish her. That’s what my wolf’s howling for. He doesn’t give a fuck what we’re nattering about.
He wants his bloodmate. Now.
“I was trying to protect—”
“You were ditching me. Again. Like you promised you’d never do. I swear to fucking god, Aaron. If I hadn’t seen that Stricken pack…you and I would be history. Done.”
I can tell she means it. Even though she’s lying on my chest again and I can’t see her expression I hear it loud and clear in her voice. She’s really questioning why she’s here. She might even be serious about only sticking around for my cock—
I try to think of something to say. The magic words needed to patch shit up. But Lily’s got me so desperate for her…I’m almost beyond words.
Which is right where she wants me.
“Are you going to answer me about the MC?” I manage to gasp.
Lily drops some claw, scratches my chest good and deep.
Fuck. Right across my wolf-skull tattoo.
“No,” she answers, real slow, like she’s talking to an idiot. “I am not going to answer your ridiculous question.”
“Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t matter anymore! Asshole. You were going to ditch me. I can’t trust you. You’re still thinking like we’re okay. Asking me what I’d do if blah blah blah. We’re not okay. That question is so far out of the realm of where we are right now…you just…fucking shitballs.”
I’m waiting for the tears.
They don’t arrive.
So it’s starting to dawn on me. We’re in deep shit.
Took me a while. I’m feeling more than little ragged.
It’s been a hell of a few weeks.
I’m getting this image in my mind, one of only a couple possible outcomes, and this one is of Lily springing off me, telling me to go fuck myself and sprinting away while I’m left with a throbbing cock and a bad case of blue balls.
Not to mention a shattered heart and a pissed off wolf.
Mia. It’s not her fault. But man would I like to throttle her—
“Well?” Lily says.
“What?”
“What! What do you mean, what? What are you going to say?”
She’s tensed up against me now. Pulling away. I could use my wolf-sig
ht to see what happens. But I’m not sure I want to know. Truth is I’m starting to get pissed off. Teasing me like a whore, then laying this heavy emotional shit on me and expecting me to have all the right answers, well I—
“I don’t have the answers, Lil. I don’t know what to say to make this right. I made a decision and I would’ve acted on it. It’s what I do. I make decisions all fucking day. Most are just all right. Some are awesome. Some suck ass. That was a shitty decision. Leaving you behind was a shit idea. I’m sorry you had to hear about it like that. But I was—”
“No ‘buts’ Aaron. You said it yourself. You made the call. I’m sure you had your reasons. Fuck. Maybe they were even good reasons. But it doesn’t matter. The ends don’t always justify the means. You broke a promise that meant a lot to me.”
She’s sliding off me. Slipping out from under the blanket. The cold hits me where her warm skin was only moments ago, and that cold reminds me of what my life was like before her.
The loneliness. The heartache so deep I had to keep running, hunting, killing…just to keep it at bay.
“Lil I can’t believe you’re going to throw this way becau—”
“Don’t you dare lay this on me. You threw us away. This is on you. You disrespected me. You disrespected us. And now you don’t even have the stones to man up and take responsibility for what you did. Christ! I expected this shifty-eyed bullshit from a man like Connor, but not you. Mr. I-live-free-and-full-on? Bullshit. You want to see what broke us? Take a long look in the mirror, Aaron.”
She’s crouched beside me. Naked. The firelight playing on her smooth skin, lighting her hair golden. Her eyes shine like embers and maybe I see her for the first time, or maybe it just finally sinks in, how much I need her, how badly I want to spend my life with this woman, and fuck sakes the world’s a bitch, how we always understand what we want when its too late.
There’s a toxic sludge churning in my gut. Loss. Anger. Regret. My head’s a shattered mess. I flip from being pissed at Lily for teasing me and being so stubborn and uncompromising to admiring her strength to feeling guilty as all hell to wanting to reach out and snatch her wrist and pull her down, and then I just kind of go cold. Like how from space you can watch the earth spin away from the sun and suddenly it’s night?
That’s what happens to me.
My world spins away from its sun.
It all goes dark.
I flop my hand over my eyes.
Fuck it.
***
That lasts maybe three seconds before I fling the blanket off and spring to my feet. My bloodmate’s gone.
But she can’t have gone far, and I’ll do anything, bleed myself dry, to have her back.
CHAPTER TWENTY
LILY
NO TEARS. NO tears. No tears.
I make it to Trish and she takes one look at me and hops on a Harley and fires the fucker up and the roar makes me shudder because it reminds me of him, the bike growling and the road we’ll take off down remind me of him, even the fucking Blood Moon, the sack of shit Blood Moon that I hate, that makes me want to scream when I see it, even the moon reminds me of Aaron because we started this, the end of days, the world’s end.
I slide onto the bike without a word.
Stark naked.
I don’t give a shit. I’ll summon a little of my she-wolf to warm me up. Matter of fact this might be the easiest damned breakup I’ve ever had. We get away from the Purebloods I’m gunna call my winged wolf and fly straight up, through the clouds, to where the air is so thin it’s like drowning, and then fold my wings and fall.
Just let go.
Beats a tub of ice cream and a stack of sodden tissues.
Trish throttles the bike, spitting sand and rocks forty feet through the air.
The Purebloods leap to their feet.
Bring it, assholes. Only thing I regret is leaving Anik. But he has to find his own way. Him and I never gelled. He’ll have to take my brother to trade for Pimniq, if the Purebloods don’t kill Vuk first. I’m done with all of them. My psychopath brother, Aaron, my Risen pack, the One War.
All of it. The world can burn for all I care.
You are your own keeper.
We barely hit the pavement when I hear my bloodmate’s howl. I poke Trish in the ribs, urging her to give the bike more love.
That wolf is fast.
***
I’m being hunted.
The Harley thunders over a rise. A crosswind whips my head to the side, threatening to spit me off the bike. I tighten my grip on Trish and glance back. Aaron’s in full wolf, his gorgeous silver-black fur sparkling in the starlight, his eyes glowing cerulean blue. He’s huge, larger than the Harley, eating up the road with long, loping strides and for a moment I’m mesmerized by the wild beauty in him, the raw power, how his entire body is perfectly tuned to the hunt.
He’s a lethal predator.
Honed sharp by eons of evolution.
I gulp down a surge of fear and remind myself I’m his bloodmate, he only wants me to stop, he’s not hunting me for blood—
But the words do little to calm.
There’s an irrational terror building in my throat, the panic of prey, the blind compulsion to run, and I wonder if Aaron’s wolf is being swept up in the thrill of the chase?
Does he remember who I am?
Or has his wildborn blood-hunger consumed him?
Is he all killer?
“Faster, Trish!” I yell over the raging wind.
Trish leans down. It’s useless. The Harley’s maxed.
I cast a quick look over my shoulder.
My god, he’s even closer. So fast.
Ba-boom. Ba-boom.
The wolf’s strides. His viciously clawed paws thudding into the pavement. The quick rhythm of his run matching the rhythm of my heart—
The wolf’s magnetic eyes draw me in. His fangs glint, making my breath catch in my throat. A red-hot, tingling thrill pools in my midsection as the wolf gains on me. My animal scents her bloodmate’s need. She’s screaming at me to stop. She knows what she wants—
He’ll never stop pursuing.
He’ll chase me, tireless, immune to hunger and exhaustion.
I glance back.
He’s closer now.
Grinning.
The fucking jerk.
I’m trembling, shot through with adrenaline and endorphins and all kinds of crazy-making shit, trying to make the Harley go faster just by wishing it would, my heart pounding against my ribcage and the traitorous heat between my legs telling me the jig is up, little Lily, you didn’t actually think you could outrun the alpha wolf—
No. I knew I’d never outrun him.
But I wasn’t certain he’d give chase.
I hear the massive wolf sprinting close beside the bike but refuse to look. His paws crack the concrete. His wildborn scent fills my nose, crisp alpine conifers at dawn, the sun warming away the mist. A sinking feeling in my stomach makes me close my eyes.
I sense him right there. Beside me. Leering at me.
And mixed with that sense of defeat is a joy I’m not ready to admit to, and even worse, a tingling heat radiating from my core—
I have absolutely no control over how I feel for him.
None.
Every time I convince myself we’re finished my body betrays me. I have a wild creature inside me, spitting and snarling, an animal who wants her bloodmate more than she wants to live—
“Lily!” Trish screams, her voice pitched high in terror. “Tell him to back the fuck off!”
We’re going well over a hundred miles an hour.
I’d survive a crash. Trish?
Not so much.
For one insane moment I nearly leap onto the wolf’s back. I don’t know why or what it would accomplish. Maybe prove I’m crazier than he is. No. I want to feel my fingers buried in his silky fur. My legs wrapped around my bloodmate’s back, his powerful muscles thundering beneath me—
I’m about to
tell Trish to slow down when the wolf steps so close his fur brushes my naked calf, sending a jolt of terror and animalistic desire through me; a primal surge that makes my needful core throb and swell and my nipples, already rock-hard in the cold desert wind, stretch still tighter and then there’s the hissing sound of fangs piercing the rear tire and metal spokes crunching and the bike jerks violently to the side, nearly tossing me and Trish.
The wolf’s snarl matches Trish’s scream as he lifts the rear tire off the pavement and digs his paws into the ground. The sudden deceleration slams me into Trish’s back. I hear myself shrieking at him, cursing him, my voice near hysterical, and then suddenly we’re not moving anymore.
The bike settles onto the pavement.
The sudden silence after the rushing wind and the wolf’s howls hits me like a smack. The rear tire’s crumpled, bent nearly in half by powerful jaws.
“Does this count as stalking?” Trish breathes while I slip off the bike.
“Shit yes it does.”
Aaron’s standing in the middle of the road about ten feet away. Naked. His chest heaving, his lean, tight-muscled body slick with sweat.
I remember how his sweat tastes. Sweet and salty and all man—
A thin trickle of blood runs from the corner of Aaron’s lip. His sharp, predatory jaw is softened just the right amount by those inviting lips. His eyes blaze with a tangled mix of victory, desire and…sadness. My glance traces down his tattooed chest, his ripped abs, and lower…shitballs.
If only he wasn’t so hot. That’s all this is.
He’s just too fucking gorgeous.
I choke back the urge to fling myself into his arms. Instead I plant my feet and fire him what I hope is a furious and not totally turned-on glare.
“Something I need to say before you go,” Aaron says.
“Then say it.”
He opens his mouth to speak and suddenly the rest of his MC catches up to us, a hundred rumbling Harleys screeching to a halt, hemming us in while out in the desert the Purebloods that went all animal stalk and prowl—
Aaron glances at his crew.
Nash. Mia. Blue. Tate.
All of them. Sitting on their bikes, studying us with creepy intensity.
The All Consuming: A Shifter MC Novel (Pureblood Predator MC Book 4) Page 18
