Three Burps and You're Out

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Three Burps and You're Out Page 4

by Nancy Krulik


  “Wow!” Alex exclaimed as he and the other kids finally saw Chris’s sculpture. “That’s the best art project you’ve ever done.”

  “It’s the greatest sea monkey I’ve ever seen,” George told Chris.

  “Thanks, George.” A big smile formed on Chris’s face.

  “Now I know why you needed so much time in the art room,” George said.

  “I probably shouldn’t have joined the baseball team in the first place,” Chris admitted.

  “That’s okay,” Sage said. She moved closer to George. “It all worked out perfectly.”

  George stepped away from her.

  “I bet you’ll win the blue ribbon with this,” Julianna said, looking at the clay sea monkey.

  “Maybe,” Chris said. “But the important thing is that it turned out exactly the way I pictured it.”

  “Have the judges been by yet?” Alex asked him.

  Chris nodded. “Mrs. Jasper and Principal McKeon are the judges. They walked around the whole art show this afternoon before anyone got here.”

  Chris was totally cool. He didn’t seem to have a single nervous butterfly in his belly. But George had something in his. Something big, bubbly, and dangerous. Something that bing-bonged and ping-ponged. The super burp was back!

  Already the bubbles were cling-clanging on his colon and bing-banging around his large intestine. Bubble, bubble. George was in trouble!

  George turned to Alex. He rubbed his head and patted his belly. He patted his head and rubbed his belly.

  “Dude, no!” Alex shouted.

  Dude, yes! The bubbles were forcing their way up into George’s throat. They were undulating on his uvula and using his tongue as a trampoline.

  Alex grabbed George’s arm and started to pull him out of the auditorium.

  Alex was too late. George let out a burp so loud that everyone in the room stopped talking. They all turned and stared at George.

  George opened his mouth to say, “Excuse me.” But that’s not what came out. Instead he shouted, “IT’S ARTY-PARTY TIME!”

  “Let’s get out of here,” Alex whispered.

  But the burp had no intention of leaving. It wanted to be part of the art show!

  The next thing George knew, his feet were dancing up and down the aisles of the art show. They stopped at a sculpture of a cat. Now the rest of George’s body wanted in on the fun. He got down on all fours. Then his back arched up like an angry cat.

  “Hiss!” George’s mouth shouted.

  “George, get up from the floor!” his mother shouted.

  “Meow!” George’s mouth answered her. He didn’t get up. Instead he started crawling around the room like a cat stalking a mouse.

  “George, you heard your mother!” George’s father bellowed. “Get on your feet, soldier!”

  Surprisingly, George did stand up. He ran over to the refreshments table. “Jelly doughnuts!” he shouted.

  George’s hands reached out and grabbed four doughnuts. Then his feet ran over to the wall of the auditorium. His hands squeezed the doughnuts—hard. Streams of red jelly squirted out of the doughnuts and onto the wall.

  “Finger paints!” George shouted. His fingers began sloshing around in the jelly.

  “George Brown, stop that this instant!” Principal McKeon shouted angrily.

  George wanted to stop. He really did. But George wasn’t in charge anymore. The super burp was. And it wanted to paint. His fingers swirled faster and faster, making a jelly finger painting on the wall.

  “More jelly!” George shouted.

  “Just what do you think you’re doing?” Mrs. Jasper demanded.

  “Finger painting!” George shouted back. “Arty-party time! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” George’s fingers swirled and swirled. He laughed harder and harder. The grown-ups got more and more angry. And then . . .

  Pop! Suddenly George felt the air rush right out of him. The super burp was gone. But George was still there. And so was the giant jelly-doughnut finger painting on the wall.

  George opened his mouth to say, “I’m sorry.” And that’s exactly what came out.

  His mother looked at him. “Sometimes I don’t know what gets into you, George,” she said.

  George didn’t answer. What could he say? It wasn’t what got into him that got him into trouble. It was what slipped out of him. That rotten, horrible, stupid super burp.

  “That was a bum deal,” Alex said after school the next day as he and George walked over to the baseball field. “Having to clean up the whole auditorium after the art show must have taken you hours.”

  “It did,” George told him. “While you guys were out having ice cream to celebrate Chris winning the blue ribbon, I was cleaning jelly off the walls. But it was either clean up or get grounded. And no way was I missing the championship game today.”

  George popped three big pieces of gum into his mouth and started chewing. He held the pack up to Alex. “You want a piece?” he asked him.

  “Sure,” Alex said. “I need it. My ball actually shrank overnight. But I can’t think of any scientific reason for it.”

  George looked at the ground. He knew why the gum ball had shrunk. And he felt rotten about it.

  “Are you sure you should be chewing gum, though?”

  Of course George was sure. He had to replace the glob of gum he’d taken from Alex’s ABC gum ball the day before. But he didn’t say that. Instead he said, “I burped really badly last night, even though I wasn’t chewing. So that’s not a cure.”

  “I guess,” Alex said. “But don’t give up. I’ll figure out a cure eventually.”

  George frowned. Eventually sounded very, very far away.

  Just then Chris came running to catch up to his pals. “Hey, guys!” he said.

  “What are you doing here?” George asked.

  “I may not be on the team, but I’m still going to cheer you on,” Chris said. “Like you guys did for me last night.”

  “You should have seen Louie’s face when they gave you the blue ribbon,” George said with a smile. “He took it pretty poorly when his painting didn’t win.”

  “I heard him say that his dad should sue Pablo Zoocaso.” Alex laughed.

  “They’re going to put the sculpture in the front of the school—right next to your championship trophy,” Chris said happily.

  George frowned. He wished he were as confident about winning that trophy as Chris was. The Sea Monkeys were a good team. But so were the Kangaroos. And the Kangaroos didn’t have a catcher with a magic super burp that messed things up all the time. The burp was an extra player George—and the other Sea Monkeys—could definitely do without!

  “Yoo-hoo! Georgie!” Sage called as she ran toward the field.

  George groaned. Sage was something else the Sea Monkeys could do without.

  “We better hurry up,” Alex said. “The Klockermeister Kangaroos’ bus just showed up. The game’s starting any minute.”

  George picked up the pace. “Go Sea Monkeys!” he chanted. “Go Sea Monkeys! GO! GO! GO!”

  George looked at Julianna and then dropped his closed fist toward the ground. It was the signal for a slider.

  Julianna shook her head no.

  George thought for a second. This was an important pitch. The batter already had two strikes against him. And the Kangaroos had two outs, with a player on third. If Julianna could just strike this guy out, the Sea Monkeys would be up to bat.

  Finally George dropped one finger. Fastball.

  Julianna nodded and let it rip.

  Whoosh! The pitch flew toward the plate at top speed.

  Crack! The Kangaroo at the plate slammed the ball toward left field.

  “I got it! I got it!” Sage shouted. She ran for the ball.

  “I got it! I got it!” Louie shouted. He ran for the ball.

  Crash! Louie and Sage banged right into each other.

  Plop! The baseball fell to the ground between them.

  The batter raced toward first base. The runne
r on third base headed for home. Louie scrambled for the ball. He picked it up and threw it toward George. The throw was high and out of control. George jumped up and reached his glove toward the sky. He caught the ball just as the runner crossed home plate.

  “SAFE!” the umpire shouted.

  George looked up at the scoreboard: 4–3. The Kangaroos were in the lead.

  “George! Why didn’t you tag him out?” Louie demanded.

  Why? WHY? Maybe because Louie had thrown the ball so crazily, he could barely catch it. Or maybe because Sage and Louie had taken way too long figuring out which one of them should pick up the ball and throw it to him.

  Just then a roar went through the crowd. Everyone started cheering.

  George turned around to see Mrs. Kelly dancing on top of the Sea Monkeys’ dugout. She was wearing a cheerleading uniform with a big S on the front.

  “Let’s go Sea Monkeys! Let’s go!” Mrs. Kelly shouted. She shook her pom-poms and wiggled her rear end.

  George groaned. There were some things a guy should never have to see—and his teacher wiggling in a cheerleading uniform was one of them. The home team fans clapped louder. “Sea Monkeys! Sea Monkeys!”

  The sound of the clapping and cheering made George smile. He was more determined than ever to win this game. The Kangaroos were only ahead by one run. There were still two innings to go. This game wasn’t over yet.

  “Batter up!” the umpire called out.

  The Kangaroo batter came to the plate. George dropped four fingers toward the ground. Curveball.

  Julianna nodded and let the pitch fly.

  The batter waited for it to come near the bat. Then he swung. Crack! The ball flew up in the air—backward! George jumped back, reached up his glove, and caught the ball in midair.

  “Yer out!” the umpire shouted.

  “Woo-hoo!” Alex cheered.

  “Good catch, Georgie,” Sage called to him.

  “George! George! George!” the crowd cheered. Mrs. Kelly did a somersault in front of the bleachers. By now the only one not cheering for him was Louie. Even Max and Mike were cheering—at least until Louie told them to stop.

  George grinned. Take that, Kangaroos!

  George looked over at Mrs. Kelly. She was trying to do a cartwheel. She held out her arms, flipped over to the side, and—bam!—landed right on her rear end.

  “Okay, Louie, you’re up,” Coach Trainer said.

  Louie headed to the plate. He swung the bat over his shoulder and waited for the pitch.

  “Louie! Louie!” the Sea Monkeys shouted.

  “Louie’s gonna go kablooie!” Mike cheered.

  George was the only one on the team who wasn’t cheering. But not because he hated Louie—which he did. George wasn’t cheering because there was something else that was gonna go kablooie any minute now. Something that bing-bonged and cling-clonged. Something that could cause a whole lot of trouble. The super burp was back!

  George shut his mouth tight, trying to keep the burp from escaping. He rubbed his belly and patted his head, trying to give Alex their signal. But Alex was too busy watching the game to notice.

  The super burp was on the move. It wasn’t even stopping to kickbox George’s kidneys or rap on his ribs. It just shot right up George’s throat, into his mouth, and . . .

  George let out a burp that was so loud and so strong, it blew right over the center-field wall—a home run of a super burp!

  “Dude, no!” Alex cried out.

  Dude, yes! The super burp was out and ready to play. The next thing George knew, his legs were running out of the dugout, and his hands were waving in the air.

  “George! Get back here!” Coach Trainer yelled.

  George wanted to go back to the dugout. He really did. But George wasn’t in charge anymore. The super burp was. And it wanted to cheer with Mrs. Kelly! George grabbed his teacher by the elbow and swung her around.

  The crowd cheered. But Louie didn’t. He was so busy watching George, he missed a great pitch.

  “Strike!” the umpire shouted.

  “George! Cut it out!” Louie shouted. “I can’t bat while you’re acting weird!”

  But George wasn’t acting weird. The super burp was. And it never listened to Louie!

  “It’s Sea Monkey salsa time!” George shouted out. His feet began to move back and forth. “One, two, three. One, two, three,” he counted as he danced.

  Everyone laughed harder. Even the Kangaroos were cracking up.

  Mrs. Kelly danced along with him. George took her by the hand and spun her around. He took one of her pom-poms and began whirling it over his head.

  George and Mrs. Kelly were wiggling, jiggling, whirling, and twirling. And then . . .

  Pop! George felt the air rush right out of him.

  Drop. George fell to the ground.

  Kerplop. Mrs. Kelly landed on her butt.

  George opened his mouth to say, “Hi, Mrs. Kelly.” And that’s exactly what came out.

  “Hi, George,” Mrs. Kelly said with a gummy grin. She straightened her glasses and wiped a huge bead of sweat from her forehead.

  Crack! Just then George heard a loud noise coming from the field. Louie had just hit a fly ball! The Kangaroos’ right fielder should have been able to catch it. But he was still laughing about George and Mrs. Kelly dancing around. The ball flew over his glove and landed just near the fence.

  “Woo-hoo!” George heard Julianna shout from the dugout. “Come on, Louie! That’s at least a double!”

  George grinned. He knew that if it hadn’t been for him, Louie would have been out for sure. He also knew that Louie would never, ever admit that. But that didn’t matter. The Sea Monkeys were back in the game.

  “And now, I present to you, this year’s fourth-grade baseball champions—the Edith B. Sugarman Elementary Sea Monkeys!” Principal McKeon began clapping and then she placed the shiny new trophy in the case in the front of the school.

  Chris, struggling to carry his huge sculpture, walked up behind her. “And here’s our mascot!” he said proudly as he put the sculpture next to the trophy case.

  Everyone started cheering. “Sea Monkeys! Sea Monkeys! Sea Mo—”

  Crrraaaccckk. Suddenly the tail cracked right off the sea-monkey mascot.

  “Oh no!” Chris exclaimed. He looked at the mascot. “Hey! There’s gum on my sculpture. Already-been-chewed gum.” He stared at Alex. “Did you do this?”

  George’s stomach flip-flopped. He wasn’t sure what to do. If he told the truth, both of his best friends would be mad at him; Chris for his breaking the sculpture and Alex for his taking the gum.

  But George couldn’t let Alex take the blame for something he hadn’t done.

  “It was me,” George said slowly. “I broke the sculpture. But I tried to fix it—with some of Alex’s gum. And it worked—for a while.”

  Chris and Alex stared at George.

  “You broke my sculpture?” Chris asked.

  “Not on purpose,” George assured him.

  “You stole my ABC gum?” Alex asked.

  “I was gonna replace it.” George pulled some ABC gum from his pocket. “Here’s a really big glob. Six pieces! There’s only a little pocket lint on it.”

  Alex took the glob of gum. “Okay,” he said. “This is more gum than you took. It should fix things.”

  “It won’t fix my sculpture,” Chris said sadly.

  “But I can,” Mrs. Jasper told Chris. “I have glue that’s made especially for clay. Your mascot will be as good as new.”

  Chris smiled.

  “I’m sorry,” George apologized.

  “It’s okay,” Chris said. “Friends make mistakes.”

  George nodded. Did they ever! George had made a lot of mistakes in the past few days. He was lucky he still had any friends.

  “Let me get a picture,” Louie’s mom shouted. “Everyone gather near the trophy. Loo Loo Poo, you stand right in the middle.”

  George laughed.

  “I
don’t understand why this team doesn’t have a Most Valuable Player award,” Mrs. Farley complained to Coach Trainer and Principal McKeon.

  “Everyone on this team is valuable,” Coach Trainer explained to her. “They were all responsible for the win.”

  “But my Louie was more responsible,” Mrs. Farley argued. “He made a great hit.”

  “And at least two lousy errors,” George whispered to Julianna and Alex.

  “Loo Loo Poo, if there was an MVP award, you would have earned it,” his mother told him.

  George shook his head. That wasn’t true. The real reason the team had won was that the Kangaroos couldn’t help laughing whenever they saw George—which was every time they went up to bat. It’s really hard to keep your eye on the ball when you’re laughing! After George’s big dance show, the Kangaroo players had struck out—a lot.

  So actually, when he thought about it, if there was going to be a most valuable player, it would have to be the super burp. But that didn’t mean George wanted to keep on burping. No way. George really wanted to lose that burp. The sooner, the better.

  Nancy Krulik is the author of more than 150 books for children and young adults including three New York Times best sellers and the popular Katie Kazoo, Switcheroo books. She lives in New York City with her family, and many of George Brown’s escapades are based on things her own kids have done. (No one delivers a good burp quite like Nancy’s son, Ian!) Nancy’s favorite thing to do is laugh, which comes in pretty handy when you’re trying to write funny books!

  Aaron Blecha was raised by a school of giant squid in Wisconsin and now lives with his family by the English seaside. He works as an artist designing toys, animating cartoons, and illustrating books, including the Zombiekins and The Rotten Adventures of Zachary Ruthless series. You can enjoy more of his weird creations at www.monstersquid.com.

 

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