by Leenie Brown
“It was not because of Lydia?” It was a shocking thought, for she had never considered any other possibility.
“No,” Darcy replied firmly. “It was because of me. Bingley has had no contact with me since, other than to return my letters unopened and request that I not contact him or any of his family. By that time, you were included in that group, since he and your sister were married. So, I stayed away hoping that by doing as he requested, he might, at some point, forgive me. I continue to wait.”
“He speaks of you.” Elizabeth gave a quick glance over her shoulder. “Since Papa died. You may not have much longer to wait.”
“I have waited for an eternity, Elizabeth, and it has cost me dearly.” The depth of the pain in his words pierced her heart.
“When you did not return with Bingley, I thought it was because you did not wish to be associated with a family tied to Mr. Wickham or such foolish girls as Lydia — and who could blame you?” She turned to face him. “It broke my heart. I refused to attend assemblies for nearly a year. Mama thought it was because I missed Jane, but it was you I missed.” She took one of his hands. “Eventually, I could no longer refuse to attend, and I met Jack. He was a pleasant man. He smiled much and spoke well of all he met. I believe he was constitutionally incapable of being disagreeable. He respected me, and I was happy, but he was not you.” She squeezed his hand. “I loved him, but not as I love you.”
“You love me?” Darcy stood perfectly still. His breath caught in his chest as he waited for her reply. The thought that his affections might be returned threatened to make him embarrass himself by either causing him to weep or shout or, heaven forbid, both.
“For these five long years, I have loved you. I have tried not to, but it is impossible. I fear I shall always love you.” A breeze tugged a wisp of hair free, and she brushed it away from her face. “It is why I have told my uncle I do not wish to marry again — not that he will hear of that, but it was not fair to Jack and would not be fair to another to give him only part of me.”
“You love me.” Thankfully, his delight only spread across his face and did not express itself with any more exuberance than that.
She nodded.
“Are you certain you will never marry again?” He stepped closer to her, looked into her eyes and brushed that wayward wisp of hair from her cheek.
“Never.” She drew the hand she held around her waist. “Unless it is you.”
“You will marry me?” Again, the happiness of his heart wished to be released in a cry of victory, but he would not allow it.
“If you will have me.” She smiled up at him as his arms pulled her close.
“You will marry me.” He bent his head to kiss her softly. “My feelings and wishes have never changed. I love you now as I loved you then, most ardently.”
Elizabeth drew his mouth back down to hers. These were the kisses for which she had longed. The kind of kiss that sent fire racing through her body from her lips all the way down to her toes. The kind of kiss that caused her to long for greater intimacy.
“Elizabeth,” he whispered near her ear as he pressed kisses along her neck. “When? When will you marry me?”
She sighed and held him tightly to her. “This very moment if it were possible.”
“I shall acquire a special license. One week,” he claimed her lips once again, “one week, and you shall be mine.”
Chapter 2
“Fitzwilliam.”
A voice broke through the delicious haze that surrounded Darcy as he held Elizabeth.
“Fitzwilliam.”
A hand tugged at his coat. His eyes flew open, and he released Elizabeth as he realized just where he was and who was calling to him.
Elizabeth peeked around his arm and saw a pretty young lady of about twenty, who wore a lovely pale blue gown and a very amused smile. “Your sister?” Elizabeth whispered.
“Georgiana,” said Darcy with a nod, straightening his jacket before he turned to face his sister.
“I was afraid you were sitting in the garden feeling melancholy as you normally do after an hour of standing about watching me.” Georgiana leaned to her right to see around her brother and smiled at Elizabeth. “But, I see you were not.”
“You remember Miss Elizabeth?” Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand and drew her forward. “Although, she is no longer Miss Elizabeth; she is Mrs. Amberly.”
Georgiana’s eyes grew wide. “Mrs. Amberly? You are married?”
“I was, but my husband died last year.” She accepted Georgiana’s words of sympathy and glanced uneasily at Darcy. “I know this looks horrible. It is not at all proper.”
The amused look Georgiana had worn only moments ago, returned to her face. “Indeed.” The word was nearly a laugh, and her smile completely ruined the effect of the scowl she attempted as she looked at her brother.
Darcy looked at Elizabeth and then his sister, but, instead of becoming flustered or stern as both ladies might have expected, a smile split his face. “We should go back.”
“You may wish to allow Mrs. Amberly a few moments to…um…look less ravished,” suggested Georgiana as she tried to stifle a laugh.
“I did not ravish her,” Darcy retorted, turning to look at Elizabeth. Her cheeks were rosy and her hair, which had been perfectly arranged, was looking rather disheveled. He chuckled. “Although, I do admit she does look it.”
“You needn’t sound so proud of yourself, Fitzwilliam.” Georgiana swatted his arm as she moved to Elizabeth’s side and slipped her arm around Elizabeth’s. “I saw a bench just down this path. A few moments in the cool air will help your cheeks, and I can assist you with your hair.” She lifted an eyebrow and gave her brother a disapproving look. “I should be shocked and disappointed,” she said over her shoulder, “but I am too pleased to see you smiling to scold.”
“I am sorry,” said Elizabeth softly.
Georgiana leaned closer and patted her arm. “You need not apologize. I have not seen him stand so straight or smile so broadly in years. And,” she glanced over her shoulder at her brother, “I think he will have to be more forgiving of my errors from this point forward.” She laughed when he cleared his throat in disapproval. “Oh, do not worry, Fitzwilliam, I know you are a man and Mrs. Amberly is a widow so society raises fewer eyebrows at such behavior for you than for a maiden like me.”
“Oh,” cried Elizabeth. “It was not like that!” She sat down on the bench and looked at Darcy. She wanted to tell Georgiana of their understanding, that this was not some clandestine meeting, but she did not feel it was her place.
“Georgiana,” Darcy’s stern tone had returned, but the smile had not left his face. He knew he was grinning foolishly, but Elizabeth had agreed to marry him, and the long-denied desire of his heart was soon to be fulfilled, so it really could not be helped. “I had hoped to speak to Elizabeth’s uncle first, but since you must have an explanation, Elizabeth has agreed to be my wife. I know it is rather sudden ─.”
Georgiana’s laugh interrupted him. “Sudden? You have been pining for Miss Elizabeth for years.” She had taken a small comb from her reticule and had set about restoring Elizabeth’s coiffure as best she could.
“Georgiana!” Darcy’s voice was still stern.
“Do not worry, Brother, I shall not tell her of your desolation.” She chuckled at his growl. “There.” She tucked one last strand of hair back in place. “You look presentable.”
“Beautiful,” murmured Darcy, causing his sister’s smile to widen and her eyes to sparkle with tears.
Elizabeth felt her cheeks, which had just begun to cool, grow warm once again.
“It might be best if we remain here for a few moments and then return, you and I arm in arm, and my brother a respectable distance behind.” Georgiana sat down next to Elizabeth and patted the spot next to her in invitation to her brother. “Widowed or no, we should do our best to quell any rumours that might spread.” She tilted her head and looked at Darcy. “I assume you took care whe
n leaving the ballroom together to not be obvious?” She shook her head at her brother’s groan. “So you were not. That does present a wrinkle, but returning as I suggested should appease many of the gossipmongers.” She giggled, clearly delighting in her brother’s discomfort.
It truly did not matter how they returned. The news of Mr. Darcy marrying would be enough for tongues to wag and the curious to call. “There will be a price to pay, of course, when your marriage becomes known. Society has commented on your single state for so long that to have it suddenly altered will be of great interest. I would suggest removing the knocker if you do not wish to be flooded with callers.” She smoothed her skirts. “How long until the wedding?”
“A week.” Elizabeth’s reply was soft, and she feared her cheeks would never cool.
“If I can acquire a license within that time and procure her uncle’s blessing,” Darcy added.
“A week?” Georgiana looked between the two with wide eyes. “Why not be off to Gretna Green within the hour and be done with it?” There was a teasing tone to her voice.
“I have waited five years, Georgiana, so I will thank you not to tease me about my impatience.”
His sister placed her hand on his arm. “I am so very happy for you, Fitzwilliam.” She placed her other hand on Elizabeth’s arm. “For both of you.”
“Should we return?” asked Elizabeth.
“As long as you will walk about the room with me and tell me of yourself and your family while my brother seeks out your uncle,” said Georgiana.
“But do you not have partners waiting for you?” The thought that a lady so beautiful and rich as Georgiana would not have partners for every dance baffled Elizabeth.
Georgiana pulled out her dance card and showed it to Elizabeth. “There are two real gentlemen listed, and of course, my brother, but I do not care for dancing.”
Elizabeth laughed, and Georgiana joined her.
“Does your brother approve? I had once heard he deplored all sorts of disguise.”
Georgiana leaned a bit closer. “He would rather I remain home and neither dance nor attend these soirees, but since I must find a husband…” She shrugged. “To my knowledge, it is the only disguise he condones. But do not worry, I have heard the lecture on how dishonesty can lead to disastrous consequences, ones which can alter the course of one’s life.”
“The loss of a friend and a love,” Darcy said softly. “Disastrous is too gentle a word, in all honesty.”
Georgiana’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh!” Her eyes grew wide. “That lecture has something to do with you?” She looked at Elizabeth.
“And Bingley,” added Darcy.
“Your parting of ways?”
Darcy nodded and then sighed. “Thinking I was doing Bingley a service, I kept information from him. However, I was neither doing him a service nor was it for me to decide what information he knew or did not know. I overstepped my bounds.”
Georgiana’s brows drew together. “I can certainly see how that would damage a friendship, but I am uncertain as to how Mrs. Amberly is involved.”
“Bingley married my sister Jane,” said Elizabeth.
Georgiana blinked and pursed her lips, obviously attempting to reconcile that bit of information with what her brother had said and not succeeding.
“Bingley informed me,” said Darcy, “that he never wished to see or hear from me again. He demanded that I keep my distance from his family, which included Elizabeth.”
Understanding suffused Georgiana’s face and filled her eyes with sadness as she looked first at her brother and then Elizabeth. “How could you bear it?”
“I had no choice,” said Darcy. He studied his hands. How many times had he considered defying Bingley’s demands? If he had felt assured of Elizabeth’s affections, nothing would have kept him from her. But, until tonight when she had declared her love for him, he had not been certain.
Elizabeth drew her bottom lip between her teeth to keep it from trembling as it wished. The pain of those first few months when he did not return could not be hidden and etched its way across her features.
Georgiana wrapped her arms around Elizabeth’s shoulders. “Oh, my dear, I am so very sorry.”
“As am I,” muttered Darcy.
“What is done cannot be undone,” said Elizabeth with a sad shrug and a small shake of her head. “Just like the water in the river that flows to the sea, it is gone and cannot be brought back, but new water takes its place. Soon these painful thoughts will be but a distant memory.” She drew a deep breath and stood. “Tomorrow, I will write to my sister and share my good news, but tonight, I will gladly walk with you, Georgiana, and tell you of my sisters and my nieces and nephews.”
She held out her hand to Georgiana, who took it and rose. Elizabeth looked at Darcy as she and Georgiana joined arms. “Jane and Bingley have three, two girls and a little boy, who is doted on by his older sisters and his mama.”
She turned, and they started walking. “Mary, my next youngest sister, married not long after I did and is expecting her first child in the fall. Her husband, Anthony, opened his sweets shop in Meryton about three years ago and has been very successful. Mama was a trifle disappointed that he was not a landed gentleman, but her expectations for Mary were never high.”
Darcy trailed after his sister and Elizabeth, listening to the discussion, and, although his heart was overjoyed to have Elizabeth accept him, it was also grieved by all he had missed in the past five years. Bingley had daughters and an heir? If Darcy had not chased after Wickham when he eloped with Lydia, if he had confessed his part in separating Bingley from Jane, if he had merely travelled to Netherfield with his friend and given his approval of a renewed acquaintance with Miss Bennet, might this be his lot now? Would he have had five happy years with Elizabeth and children of his own? He briefly closed his eyes and shook his head, overwhelmed at the thought of having had so much taken from him.
They were approaching the entrance to the ballroom, so he stopped. When Elizabeth looked back at him in question, he smiled and gave a small wave of his hand, indicating that she should continue on without him.
She returned his smile but hesitated.
Georgiana gave Elizabeth’s arm a small tug. “We must enter separately,” she whispered.
Elizabeth knew that leaving him now was only for a short time and quite necessary to keep her reputation from being tarnished, but her heart did not completely care about the logic of the plan. It wanted to stay with him. It had no desire to ever let him out of her sight, and when she turned away, it protested loudly. But with one last look over her shoulder in his direction, she allowed herself to be led inside to begin a slow circuit of the room.
Darcy clenched his fists at his side and counted slowly to twenty as he willed his feet to remain where they were until Elizabeth and his sister were well into the ballroom. Then, drawing in a deep breath and releasing it slowly, he made his way to the edge of the crowd. Georgiana had not been wrong. Many eyes were following Elizabeth and his sister as they walked, and several turned his direction when he entered. He did his best to ignore them as he scanned the room, looking for Elizabeth’s uncle. The search was not a long one. Mr. Amberly must have been watching the door for his return, for the man was already making his way across the room towards Darcy.
Darcy chuckled. His height not only made it easier for him to see above the heads of many of the guests in attendance, but it also made it far easier for others to find him. He pulled his watch from his pocket and noted the time as he waited for Mr. Amberly to reach him. It was not altogether extraordinarily late. Although his solicitor might find it so, and he was certain the Archbishop would not like a visit at this hour. However, he thought with a smile as he returned his watch to his pocket, at least one of the unfortunate fellows was surely going to be put out with him tonight.
Georgiana would be dancing the fourth set with Mr. Murrish and then leaving. Darcy had noted that Mr. Murrish was the only gentleman his sist
er looked for at each soiree, so Darcy was confident that so long as he did not make his sister miss her dance with the man, she would not mind leaving early. Or ─ his smile grew as a pleasant thought crossed his mind ─ perhaps he could leave his sister to the care of Elizabeth.
“It is warm in here, is it not, Mr. Darcy?” Mr. Amberly asked as he approached. “I thought I might take a bit of air while my wife is otherwise occupied. She likes to dance every set if she can.” He stepped out the door and turned. “Come, join me.”
Darcy smiled at how Mr. Amberly was making it his idea to speak with Darcy instead of Darcy seeking him out.
“I thought there might be less talk this way,” explained Mr. Amberly.
“It is appreciated.”
“The room is already a flutter with the news of you sneaking off into the garden with a widow. The stories that have surfaced in such a short time are entertaining when you know they are not true.” He smiled at Darcy. “I know your character, Mr. Darcy, as does everyone in that room. But, I also know how a disappointed woman’s mind can work and her tongue can cut.” He leaned against the balustrades of the porch and chuckled. “I do not wish to be the lady who says such things within the hearing of my niece. She is quite the expert at a set down. Oh, she has not had the opportunity to use those skills in town yet, but she has had plenty of practice in Hertfordshire.” He glanced at Darcy. “My nephew’s estate was ten miles from Longbourn and thirteen from Netherfield. There is a well-travelled road that connects them. And Elizabeth and Jack attended every assembly and at least one ball at Netherfield. Jack loved to dance nearly as much as, I imagine, Elizabeth once did.”
Elizabeth’s uncle stared off into the ballroom, and he lapsed into silence for a moment. Then he returned his focus back to Darcy and their conversation, though his eyes did not leave the dancers. “I purposefully brought her here tonight, Mr. Darcy. I had heard the rumors of your having lost a love some years back.” He shrugged. “I started piecing things together, making small inquiries and watching reactions. I heard tales of an Elizabeth that I rarely got to see. I heard how she used to dance every dance, even if she had to stand up with her sisters, and how she used to challenge people with her wit.”
