She pulled back and made a face. “In two weeks. Considering how hard it’s been to find something, I didn’t want to ask for more time.”
“But you only just got here.”
“I know.” The smile drooped.
“I want to talk to you about something, actually. I was going to do it later, but now’s good. Have coffee with me.” I chose a children’s picture book off a nearby shelf and took Sadie’s hand, walking her between us.
“Mommy?” Sadie tugged at Janey’s coat when we got to the café. She pointed at the huge sugar cookies covered in pink-and-white sprinkles.
“You want a cookie?” Janey asked.
Sadie nodded wildly, her grin huge.
Janey smiled and ruffled her hair. “If that’s okay with Aunt Mac.”
“Of course it’s okay with me!” I lifted out a cookie and set it on a plate, made coffee for Janey and myself, and joined them at the table.
“So what did you want to talk about?”
“Well, I know you’ve only been here a few days, but it’s really nice to have you. I hadn’t even realized how much I missed you, sis.”
She squeezed my hand. “Me too.”
“And Sadie. I missed the first two years, and I don’t want to miss any more.”
“I’d like that too.”
“Well, with Slater here now, and Bill knowing where you were all along, there’s nothing and no one to hide from, for either of us. There’s nothing keeping you in New Jersey. What do you think of moving here? Living with me?”
Janey didn’t answer right away. Her eyes remained thoughtful as she considered. “That’d be a really big change for you, Mac. Two people living with you? One of them a toddler?”
“I admit, I know nothing about raising a toddler, but I want to be a part of her life. And if you want your own place, it could be temporary, you living with me. Just until you find something here and get on your feet. Start a new life—without hiding.”
“What about you and Slater?”
“What about us?”
“Maybe you want to move in with him—”
“It’s a little soon for that.” I laughed, taking a sip of my coffee. “Just think about it, okay? We don’t have to talk about it right now. I know it’s a big decision to make, so just think about it. And don’t say no right away.”
Janey leaned in to hug me. “You’re the best big sister anyone could have, you know that?”
I hugged her back. “Promise me you’ll think about it?”
“I will.” She studied me for a long moment. “Maybe with us both working and sharing the rent, you could even stop with your second job.”
I must have made a face, because she smiled and patted my hand.
“Just promise me you’ll think about that.”
Using my own words against me. “I guess we both have some thinking to do.”
“Sounds like it.”
“Hey, I have a few hours left before closing up the shop, but how about Chinese later? There’s a decent place in town. And I’ll show you around.”
“Sadie, what do you think about Chinese for dinner?” she asked.
“Yum!”
FINDING BILL WASN’T hard. He’d taken a motel room just outside of town, and although he kept a low profile in Bandon, he wasn’t trying to hide or disappear. Last night when he went to the club to watch MacKayla dance, I almost killed him. I would have, but he’d slipped away before I had a chance.
Today, though, he wouldn’t be so lucky. It was six in the morning. Wanting to catch him unprepared, I crossed the street, then the parking lot of the cheap motel, and headed straight to door thirty-one, the last in the row of the mildew green-colored building desperately in need of renovation. Without pause, I pounded my fist against the door three times, saw him roll over in his bed from the window, where he hadn’t bothered to close the curtains.
I pounded again, louder, watching as he woke, registered the sound, and finally made out what it was.
“Do you have any idea what fucking time it is?” Heavy steps carried him to the door, his face the expression of irritation when he opened it. “What the—”
He made a move to slam the door shut, but it crashed against the toe of my boot and bounced off, the edge of it slamming against his forehead, making him stumble backward. I smiled and entered the disgusting room. I kicked the door shut behind me and watched Bill drop onto the bed when he ran out of space.
“Slater Vaughn.”
He touched the reddening spot on his forehead. His eyes narrowed, and the panic I’d seen when he first opened the door vanished only to be replaced by something cruel, a thing that made my stomach turn.
“What brings you here?”
Without hesitating, I gripped his T-shirt and drew him to his feet before slamming him against the wall.
“Your ugly face does,” I said, approaching him as he bounced off, his eyes screaming their shock at this sudden, unanticipated movement. Frankly, I hadn’t known I’d do it either, but that look on his face, it got to me. It got under my skin. This piece of shit had beaten MacKayla when she’d been a kid. This waste of space had raped his stepdaughter.
“Listen,” he put his hands up when I took him by the shoulders and slammed him against the wall. “Slater, I don’t know what that stepdaughter of mine is telling you, but I know what she did to you. I know the kind of whore she is. I’m on your side, man.”
He was too stupid to live.
All I wanted to do was pound my fist into his face. To do so repeatedly. To watch him bleed. Instead, I gripped his shoulders, trying not to breathe in the vapors of his stale, alcohol-laden breath. If I beat him, he could go to the police. He’d be a fool to, but he could, and if I were in jail, I’d be of no use to MacKayla or her sister.
“I know what you did, Bill.”
He froze, his expression both fearful and hard.
“I know what you did to your stepdaughters.”
“I don’t know what the fuck that whore…”
I slammed his head into the wall. “Call her a whore again, and I’ll tear your limp dick off and shove it down your throat. Understand?”
“You have no right to be in here.”
“That’s all you’ve got?”
“I’ll call the police if you don’t leave.”
“I doubt you’ll do that.”
He paused. “What do you want?”
“I want you gone. I want you out of MacKayla’s and Janey’s lives. I want you to climb into that shitty little car of yours and drive back to the shitty little hole you crawled out of and never come out again. You will not threaten MacKayla or Janey, and you will disappear from their lives. That’s what I want.”
“Get your hands off me, Vaughn. I will call the fucking cops.”
“Like I said, you won’t.” I didn’t release him.
“My business with my girls is my business. Family business.”
His referring to them as his girls sickened me. “Your business is finished.” I released him and took out an envelope from my back pocket. I opened the little flap, took out the money, and held the wad of cash against his nose. “It’s money you want, right? Five grand, right here. You’re going to take it, and you’re going to get the fuck out of town. If I see you again, I will hurt you. If you so much as come into the state again, I’ll fucking kill you. Understand?”
He grinned, his gaze shifting from the cash shoved up against his face to me and back. “She’s got you by the balls, don’t she?”
He was getting to me. He was getting under my skin. “Get your shit, and go, or I promise I will end you. Understand?”
“Five grand?”
“Five grand.”
After a moment, he nodded, taking the envelope of money. I released him. “Those bitches aren’t worth the money,” he muttered.
“Get your shit, and go, old man.” I walked to the door and held it open, waiting for him.
“You got it bad, don’t you?” he started a
gain, that grin making me want to smash his face in. “Hell, maybe I fucked the wrong sister.”
That was it. That did it. My blood boiled, pounding in my ears, and all I heard, all I felt, all I was, was rage. Shocking myself with how quickly I moved, I grabbed the asshole and threw him once more against the wall, but this time, it was hard enough that it took him a moment to recover, a moment in which my fist slammed against his jaw so hard, it made his head jerk and his body crumple to the floor. I hauled him to his feet.
“If you’re smart, you will get the fuck out of here before I do kill you.”
“Fuck,” he said, rubbing his jaw. “She ain’t worth it.”
When I raised a fist in response, he held up his hands in surrender.
“I’m leaving. Give me a minute. I got to take a fucking leak.”
“Fuck that,” I said, taking the back of his greasy neck and tossing him out the door. “Leave. You’re done.”
He stumbled, and I caught up with him, shoving him again to get him moving. I did that three more times before we reached his car.
“I don’t ever want to see you again.”
Without a word, he opened the door and climbed inside, tossing the envelope of cash on the passenger seat. He gave me one more look before starting the engine, and only when he was far enough away that I couldn’t get to him did he flip me off with a grin, yelling something about that whore once more, making me wonder if I shouldn’t have killed him anyway.
I’d decided I wouldn’t tell MacKayla about my run-in with Bill when I went to the bookstore that afternoon. It was my first time in the place. I looked around, expecting to see MacKayla. Instead, an old woman stood at the cash register. She gave me a once-over and smiled.
“Well, we don’t get your type in here often enough, sweetie.”
If I didn’t know better, I would have guessed she was flirting with me.
“Good afternoon, ma’am.”
“Good afternoon to you. Can I help you with something?”
Anywhere else, I would have been left to my own devices, but this was Bandon, Oregon. “I’m actually looking for MacKayla S—Thomas.” I’d almost slipped with her real name.
The old woman smiled, her eyes way too sharp for her wrinkled face. “You’re here for Mac?”
“I am.”
“Well, it’s about time that girl found someone!”
She clapped her hands and laughed louder than I expected her to. The door behind her opened. MacKayla walked out, her arms stacked with hardbacks, her face registering her shock when she saw me.
“Slater.”
I smiled. “I thought I’d take you out to lunch.” I had something I wanted to talk to her about and wanted to do it outside of her house or mine.
“Oh.” She hesitated, glancing at the older woman then back at me. “Well, I don’t think I can—”
“Don’t be silly. What am I rushing home to? The TV?” the older woman said. “You two go on. Slater, was it?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You take her for a walk on the beach while you’re out. She likes that. God knows why in this cold, but she does.”
I smiled at the old woman. “I will do that. Thank you, Mrs…”
“Donnelly. I’m the owner of this bookstore. Have had it for most of my life, in fact.”
“Well, it’s a lovely place. Thank you, Mrs. Donnelly. I’ll have MacKayla back soon.”
“I have work to do here,” MacKayla protested.
“Nonsense!” Mrs. Donnelly said.
I took advantage and guided MacKayla into her coat and out the door.
“What would you like to eat?” I asked once we stepped out into the sunny, brisk day.
“I’m not all that hungry. Just a bagel, unless you want something else?”
“Bagel’s fine. We can eat on the beach.”
“That I’d like, actually.”
We walked to a bagel shop, an awkwardness between us. Soon we were back outside, on the sidewalk, each of us carrying a steaming cup of coffee and a bagged bagel.
“What is this?”
“Lunch?” I found I quite liked this. Strange as it seemed, the simplicity of this—of getting lunch with MacKayla—I liked it. I liked it a lot.
She glanced at me with a puzzled but not displeased expression on her face, and we headed to the beach. She led the way, and I followed her to a bench, where we sat down.
“Janey got a job.”
I watched her from the corner of my eye.
“Back in New Jersey.”
“Oh. That’s good news, right?” I bit into my bagel, smearing cream cheese out the other end.
“Well, yes, but I don’t want her to leave. Now that Bill’s here, and…you’re here, there’s no reason for us to hide. We’ve both been running and hiding for so long. It’s exhausting, Slater.”
I watched as she picked a sesame seed off her still uneaten bagel. “You’re worried.”
“Yeah. What if Bill does something? If we’re together, I can protect her.”
“She’s an adult, you know. Have you considered she may need a friend more than a protector?”
“She’s my kid sister.”
“Who is confident and intelligent and from what I’ve seen, happens to be a very capable and loving mom.”
“I know that.”
“You are not responsible for what happened to her. You know that, don’t you?”
She turned huge, tear-filled eyes to me as if desperate for forgiveness.
I put my bagel down and took her hands. “MacKayla, you know it’s not your fault, right?”
“If I’d been home…”
“He’d have found a time, a way, to do what he did. This is not about you. I don’t think Janey blames you, does she?”
“No, of course not.” She pulled her hands free and dug in her purse for a tissue to wipe her nose and eyes. “Janey’s amazing like that.”
“You’re a remarkable, strong woman, MacKayla. Both of you are. You’re good sisters. You take care of each other. You’ve both been through shit no child should ever have to go through. Hell, no adult. But it happened, and you can’t go back in time. You can’t take it back. You only can go forward.”
I heard my own words but shoved them aside, at least as far as they related to me.
“I know that. I’m just scared, Slater. I feel like you, this”—she made a motion with her hand, signaling the both of us—“I don’t know how this happened, and I don’t even know what it is, but I know it’s good.”
Our eyes locked, and we both attempted a half-smile. This was good. What it was, I had no clue, but it was good. And it had started out so bad.
“But Janey, she deserves this much more than I.”
“You both deserve it.”
“If she leaves, I may go with her.”
That took me by surprise. “To New Jersey?”
She nodded.
“You’d go back to New Jersey? You love it here.”
“I know. But I love Janey more.”
“Always sacrificing.”
She shrugged a shoulder and picked up her bagel.
“Speaking of sacrificing, I want to talk to you about something.”
She raised her eyebrows and waited.
“I want you to stop dancing.”
She shook her head and snorted. “You sound like Janey. Have you two been comparing notes?”
I smiled. “Didn’t I say she was an intelligent woman?”
“I need the money, Slater.”
“For what?”
“To help Janey and Sadie, for one thing. And Bill for another.”
I paused, considered telling her about my talk with Bill but decided against it, unsure how she’d take my interference. “Other people get by just fine working jobs where they don’t have to take their clothes off in front of a roomful of strangers.”
“Well, other people don’t deal with the shit I deal with,” she snapped.
“So your problems are b
igger than other people’s problems? How do you know what people are dealing with?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
I bit into my bagel and took a moment to think, feeling surer than ever that she needed to stop stripping. In fact, the thought that other men watched her, that they wanted her, that they jerked off to images of her dancing… It made every muscle in my body tense.
“Look, just, I want you to stop. You told me yourself Bill’s even been there to watch you. You did a private dance for me once. I know you said you wouldn’t do that, that you have some sort of agreement, but what’s to stop them from making you do it again?”
Something flashed across her eyes and I had a feeling this wasn’t the first time that thought had come up.
“I’ll tell you what, MacKayla, I’m not asking. I’m taking it back, letting you off the hook those couple of nights. You’re to come over every night.”
“What? That’s not really…”
“If you or Janey need money, I can help you.” My family had had money for as long as I could remember. Thank goodness, my father insisted on a prenuptial. Dinah and Nick hadn’t been able to take that from me. And what I had, I would willingly use to help her. Helping MacKayla—as crazy as the idea would have been just weeks ago—was the right thing to do.
“Slater, you can’t decide this for me. That isn’t your place. I…” Her phone rang, interrupting. She searched her purse for it. “I have to take this.
I caught a glimpse of the name—someone called Angie. When she walked away from me to take it, I realized she didn’t want me to hear the conversation.
She spoke into the phone, glancing back at me several times as she did. A few minutes later, she disconnected the call and returned. “I probably should get back. If Mrs. Donnelly starts filing books, I’ll never find them.” She was teasing but couldn’t quite meet my eye.
“Who’s Angie?”
She shook her head and busied herself with packing up her mostly uneaten bagel. “Oh, just a friend. My neighbor. I should go. Thanks for the bagel, Slater.”
I grabbed her wrist when she turned away. “You heard what I said, right?”
“Loud and clear.”
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