by Mel Teshco
“Are you okay?” Jarred’s eyes searched hers, a frown lining his brow.
“I’m fine.” She realized it wasn’t a lie. Somehow all her anxieties and insecurities faded away with him so near.
His frown deepened, before he nodded and said, “I see you got your uniform back.”
She glanced down at her ugly yellow threads. “Yes. I guess you were too busy to bring my clothes back yourself?”
Jarred’s jaw tightened. “Believe me, you wouldn’t have wanted to see me this morning. I had a lot on my mind and not a lot of activity to work it all off.”
She swallowed as an image of Jarred in the gym filled her mind. Running, lifting weights, boxing. Anything for him to push back the thoughts about Emily. Was it sick and twisted, even a little masochistic, to wish he’d worked out on her instead?
She bit into her bottom lip. “So why see me now?”
He leaned close. “Because I couldn’t keep away from you even one second longer.”
The burn of her hand had lessened to a dull throb. Or maybe the hope roaring through her was taking away the pain? She only wished her voice didn’t tremble when she asked, “Then I take it you have something … big to tell me?”
He turned off the tap and looked around, as if noticing for the first time that the other women were watching them with interest, some even trying to eavesdrop. He exhaled heavily. “I guess you could say that, yes.” He swept a hand toward the door. “Do you mind if we go somewhere more private to talk?”
She glanced at the guard prowling near their only exit. “I don’t want to push my luck after what happened to Stokes.” She had no doubt the other guards would blame her for Stokes’ hospital visit.
Jarred shook his head slowly. “Don’t worry about Stokes … or the rest of the guards. None of them will be giving you any trouble, I can assure you.”
She exhaled slowly. “I’m glad one of us has friends in high places.”
He winked. “Baby, I am the friend in high places.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. Even though he’d been the reason behind her heavy heart, being around him, with him, made her smile again all too easily.
Jarred led her through the laundry. The guard on duty at the door saluted, and Lucinda finally comprehended that the pilot was in his full uniform.
“Shouldn’t you be piloting the ship?” she asked him.
He nodded. “Yes. But my co-pilot and Simms, my apprentice, are perfectly capable at the helm, at least for a short while.”
She bit into her bottom lip. “You’re jeopardizing being a pilot just to see me?”
“Just to see you?” He shook his head. “Don’t put yourself down. I value you above my career. Surely you see that? See how much I—”
“What about Emily?”
He stopped at a locked door, his eyes squeezing shut for a second. “Jesus.” He cast a bewildered look her way. “What are you asking? That I choose between you and Emily?”
Her heartbeat thundered in her ears. But she wasn’t going to back down, not now. It was all or nothing. She nodded, hoping the something big he’d mentioned had been in her favor. “Yes, I am. She was the love of your life and I need … I need to know where that leaves me.”
*
Jarred stared at the woman who’d done the one thing he’d never thought possible—made him love again. Fully. Deeply. And unreservedly.
When Emily had been taken, something inside him had died, his faith in humanity all but snuffed out. But Lucinda had breathed life back onto the spark within, given him hope and tenderness and passion, until the warmth had spread from the inside out.
She’d made him yearn for intimacy again, and not just the physical kind. He’d wanted to share his secrets with her, and have her do the same in return. He wanted her in his life; imagined a future with them together always.
But how did he admit his sentiments without scaring her away? They’d known each other for only a short time when he’d told her the worst of his past, as easily as someone might retell a tidbit of gossip. Would she believe how strongly he felt for her?
“You drag me in here just to give me the silent treatment?”
He blinked. Shit. He’d been so wrapped up in his thoughts Lucinda assumed he was ignoring her.
Her eyes glittered. “If you’re not interested, fine. But just tell me and then leave me the hell alone so that I can try and live my own life.”
She turned to go and he grabbed her forearm. “Wait. Please.”
Bloody hell. Her face was leeched of all color, her eyes swimming with tears. He was the reason for her hurt, but he could so easily fix it if she let him. “I told you I’d never felt as deeply for anyone as I do for you. And I meant it.” He pressed an outspread hand to his heart. “You are my soul mate.”
She stared at him, wide-eyed, immobile, and silent. God, he couldn’t stuff this up. He dragged in a breath. “Emily and I were childhood sweethearts. We were comfortable around one another. So comfortable we decided marriage was the next logical step.” He shrugged. “We didn’t believe in melting hearts and words of adoration when the Earth was decaying around us.”
Lucinda’s whole body seemed to wilt, even as she whispered, “Melting hearts and adoration were even more important, with everything else so bad.”
He nodded. “Yes, you’re right, I realize that now.” He swiped a hand over his face, and then continued. “On the surface, Emily and I were the perfect couple. But underneath, our passion was non-existent.”
She blinked. “I’m sorry to hear that … I think.” She bit into her bottom lip. “I wish you’d told me this before.”
“Yeah, I was probably too busy telling you the worst of my history first.”
Her smile was wobbly. “That’s putting it mildly.”
He smiled back, realizing his own lips trembled more than a little as relief swelled inside. This woman meant the world to him. God, if he lost her because of his past—it didn’t bear contemplating. He exhaled slowly as he caught her hand in his. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.” She lifted his hand, kissing his knuckles the way he’d once kissed hers. “I’ve been selfish and stupid. You trusted me implicitly right from the start and I never returned the favor. Not only that, I found myself hoping that … that you’d never find your wife just so I could have you all to myself.”
“You don’t need to explain.” God, his gut burned just thinking about her with someone else—man or woman.
“But I do. Don’t you see? I’ve been jealous of a ghost. A woman from your past I thought still had a hold of you.”
Was Emily a ghost, though? Sometimes he didn’t want to contemplate the fact that she was most likely dead and buried, while other times he almost wished it was true, just so he could move on with his life.
“Losing Emily was like losing a dear friend. I loved her, but I wasn’t ever in love with her.” He was certain the feeling had gone both ways. “Of course, I cared for her deeply. I realized that even more after she was taken by the monsters who called themselves men.”
“You cared enough to kill for her,” Lucinda whispered.
He nodded. “I did.” He couldn’t hold back the fierce possessiveness within as he said, “Imagine what I’d do for you.”
She looked up at him, her eyes alight with wonder. “I’m sorry I ever thought I was second best.” She broke into a relieved smile. “I guess it’s safe to say you won’t mind waiting those two years for me?”
Jarred pulled her close. “Oh, I’ll mind,” he said huskily. “You belong in my arms and in my bed. Not on some distant rock in the near future.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest.
His belly squeezed tight at her words. He was obsessed and didn’t even care. She. Was. His.
When she next looked up at him, his heart did a slow somersault in his chest. God she was beautiful. He bent and kissed her tenderly. “Stay with me tonight? I�
��ll clear it with the Major. Fill out all the paperwork. Do whatever it takes.”
“I’d really like that,” she breathed.
His heart soared. Nothing would keep them apart until he had to return to Earth. Solitaire was still almost three months away. Until then, he’d do whatever it took to prove his love to her.
He kissed her one more time, a lingering, heartfelt touch of lips, before he drew back and said softly, “I have to get back to work.”
She nodded. “Me too.” She glanced behind her. “The guard might be okay with me being with you but the women will be pissed I’m not doing my fair quota of work.”
Damn. The last thing he wanted was to get her into trouble. He reluctantly took a step back. “After my shift I’ll come and get you.”
He had no doubt it would be the longest shift of his life.
Chapter Nine
Lucinda said goodbye to Jarred at the door of the laundry room, feeling absurdly shy in front of the guard and the laundry women, who watched surreptitiously as they worked. Thankfully none of the women cast resentful looks her way. In fact, most of them appeared fascinated by the budding romance. It wasn’t often that a prisoner held the attention of someone of a higher class.
Jarred smiled, a knowing glint in his eyes as he bent and briefly kissed her lips. “See you soon, my darling.”
She walked to her work station feeling lighter and freer than ever before. Even when she unloaded the hot clothes from a cleanser, she barely grimaced. The most recent burn on her hand no longer hurt. It was as if all her pain had been wiped away.
Bettina cast a shrewd look. “Your mood’s sure changed.”
She bit the inside of her cheek. “I’m sorry if I was a bit hard to be around earlier.”
“I barely noticed,” Bettina said drily. “I’m guessing everything is right with the pilot now?”
Lucinda heard the jealousy in the other woman’s voice, but didn’t take offense. She scarcely believed her own good fortune. She didn’t blame anyone else for being resentful. “Yes, everything is great now. Jarred and I cleared up some misunderstandings.”
Bettina shook her head. “I only wish I was in your shoes right now. I don’t remember how it feels to have a man actually care about me.”
Lucinda chose her words as carefully as she folded the shirt and pants she’d just pulled from the cleanser. She might be on top of the world, but not everyone was so blessed. “Not all the men treat us like dirt.”
Bettina snorted. “If you say so.”
Lucinda concentrated on the task at hand rather than her co-worker’s derision. Nothing was going to deflate her happy bubble. Not even guilt that all the women aboard the Siren weren’t as lucky in love as she was.
She couldn’t wait to be back in Jarred’s arms once again. She glanced at the digital readout on the wall, wishing the numbers would click over faster. One more hour till lunch break. Then six more hours until dinner and then … Jarred.
It was going to be the longest day of her life.
*
Lucinda lined up behind the other women at the mess hall, wondering how the hell she’d eat when anticipation held her in its clutches.
It seemed like forever since she last had a decent meal. She’d picked at her grits for breakfast and barely tasted the soyroom gruel that was their staple diet for lunch. She couldn’t help but sniff appreciatively at the aromas drifting her way, even as her belly grumbled.
The cooks on the Siren tried to vary the menu—not to keep the prisoners happy, but so that all the nutrient requirements were met without having to resort to expensive vitamin and mineral supplements. Being that very few people onboard got sick, it seemed the diet was working.
Bettina elbowed her. “Holy shit, we’re getting fried rice! There’s even some vegies in it—peas and carrot.”
“And I can smell garlic and onion,” another woman said, further along the line.
Lucinda arched a brow. Clearly the powers-that-be were getting worried about the tensions caused by the overcrowding. She didn’t doubt for a second that tonight’s dinner was all about keeping everyone happy, even if it was only a temporary solution.
She wasn’t about to complain.
A server plunked a level scoop of fried rice onto a plate and passed it to Lucinda. Grabbing her cutlery, she took a seat at a table with Bettina, Anna and Monique. They nodded a greeting, but mostly everyone concentrated on devouring their dinner.
Lucinda took a mouthful and slowly chewed, savoring the taste. Damn. This was the best chow they’d had all week, maybe even all month. The rationing had gotten so strict the prisoners often discussed daydreams about eating roast dinners and sucking milkshakes up a thick straw.
There wasn’t much chatter, but all of a sudden, the little noise there had been fell silent. Lucinda realized why almost immediately. She twisted in her seat, finding Jarred instantly, as though he was a magnet for her eyes.
He stood in the mess hall doorway, scanning the room for her. When his gaze connected with hers, she subsided against her chair, a flush suffusing her cheeks.
Damn he was gorgeous. His height and breadth were mesmerizing, and his face could have been carved from the Native American Indians of old. The goatee only added to his aura, emphasizing his dangerous magnetism.
He strode toward her table, then stopped beside her. His eyes drank her in. “I came for you the moment my shift ended.”
“Some women have all the luck,” Bettina muttered, throwing her an aggrieved stare.
Anna’s fork clattered against her plate, her eyes flashing at the pilot. “Maybe you should let Lucinda finish her dinner first? It’s the best any of us have eaten for a long time.”
Lucinda closed her eyes, remembering the sweet and juicy fruit the pilot had hand-fed her. But there was nothing to be gained by saying so, other than the women’s resentment. Instead, she cast Jarred a sympathetic gaze, aware he could more than hold his own—even against a roomful of hormonal women.
Anna’s stare narrowed. “I can understand you want to fuck my cellmate. Hell, I do too.” Some women giggled further along the table. “But she needs to eat, too.”
Lucinda’s face tingled with heat. “Thanks for your concern, Anna, but I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”
Jarred brushed a hand over Lucinda’s head. “No, Anna is right.”
If Lucinda was shocked, Anna appeared even more so, especially when Jarred pivoted and moved to the end of the straggling line of prisoners. A few minutes later, he returned with a plate that was piled high with rice—much more than anyone else’s serve—and sat down beside Lucinda.
The women shuffled their seats along without a sound, making room for him. Jarred nodded his thanks. “In my haste to get here, I realized I hadn’t eaten either. I guess I need to keep my strength up if I want to pleasure my woman properly.”
Lucinda heard more than a few heartfelt sighs, even as Anna frowned and began to shovel rice into her mouth.
Monique grinned, but kept silent. She was probably pleased—no doubt hoping that Anna would finally realize there was only one woman freely available to her. Someone right in front of her eyes, if only she’d open them.
Jarred glanced up and down the table. “I hope you ladies don’t mind me eating here with you?”
“Ladies? Blimey, I ain’t been called that for a long time.”
Even Lucinda grinned at the remark from her fellow prisoner, an older woman who’d been accused of stealing water. Fortunately for her, she was also an excellent seamstress and had earned her place on the Siren.
Bettina nodded toward the corner of the mess hall. “We don’t mind your company, but I’m not so sure about the guard over there.”
Lucinda followed Bettina’s stare. A guard stood motionless, clearly torn about what to do with the pilot sitting among the women. No doubt it went against all protocol. But the guard was just a minion, intimidated by Jarred’s high standing.
Monique’s naturally husky vo
ice deepened with amusement. “He looks as though he’s about to pee his pants. I bet a spoonful of my rice he pretends not to notice Jarred is even here. Any takers?”
A flurry of chatter ensued. All the women wanted to win the extra food. While everyone was distracted, Jarred pushed his spoon into his own rice and proffered it to Lucinda.
“It’s yours,” she murmured.
He arched a dark brow. “Remember how I said I could watch you eat all day?” She nodded. “Then humor me.”
She opened her mouth and closed her lips over his spoon. Her lashes fluttered as her taste buds absorbed the flavor. Definitely garlic, and a smidgen of onion. Strange how it seemed to taste even better off Jarred’s plate.
She dug into her own rice and lifted the spoon his way. “Your turn.”
When he accepted her offering, the noise around them seemed to fade away, her senses attuned only to him. Likewise, his attention on her was absolute.
They weren’t even halfway finished when Lucinda murmured, “I’ve had enough to eat.” Translation: I want you all to myself.
He nodded, eyes alight with need. “So have I.” His stare broke from hers as he asked, “Who won the bet?”
At Monique’s confirmation, he pushed his plate her way. “Enjoy your winnings.”
Anna scowled while Monique smiled and Lucinda beamed.
She stood with Jarred and he curled an arm around her shoulders as they left the mess hall. How did this man make her feel so happy and safe? Little wonder she’d been so miserable when she’d thought she’d lost him.
It seemed like forever, but it was only a few minutes before they were at his cabin. He flicked his wrist under a scanner and then pushed open the door before bending and picking her up.
“Allow me,” he said huskily.
“Carrying me across the threshold?” she squeaked, her chest aching with longing at the thought.
His chuckle held dark notes of possessiveness. “Just putting into practice what I hope to make real one day soon.”
