"How long are you staying here?" she asked, deciding to open the conversation.
"In this apartment or in England?"
"Is there a difference?"
"I hope so." He hesitated and then flung his briefcase upon a chair. "I have this place on a monthly lease but I'm staying in England for some years."
"Years?" She could not believe she had heard him correctly.
"Five… ten… I don't know how long."
"But I… I… but your firm's in Teheran!" She was not aware of what she was saying. She only knew she had to say something.
"I have always wanted my firm to become an international one," he replied. "I told you so when we once discussed my work. I've been having talks with Sir Morgan for months. He's looking for a new senior partner and offered me the chance of it." He saw her astonishment. "You find it strange that he should want a foreigner?"
"Of course not. But I can't believe that you're willing to leave Iran." Her eyes narrowed. "It does mean that, doesn't it?"
"Yes. I'll be keeping my Persian offices going, but in the main I'll be based over here."
"I can't believe it," she said again, and knowing it would be undiplomatic to say why, she stopped speaking.
"Why do you find it strange?" he questioned. "Because you can't see me fitting into the British way of life or because you're surprised I've left my father?"
"Mainly because of your father," she confessed and knew how bitterly Ibrahim Khan must resent his son's departure.
"My father was deeply disappointed," Karim said slowly, "but he is too keen for me to be successful to allow his disappointment to stand in my way. You find it hard to believe, Fleur, but I assure you he has only wanted my happiness."
"I'm sure of that," she said promptly, remembering how cleverly the old man had fought for it. "Is Ferada with you?"
There was a glint in his eyes. "You think I'd rush from your arms into those of another woman?"
"I can't see you remaining single forever."
"I'm glad of that. It gives me some hope for the future."
He moved closer. He was near enough to touch her, but his hands remained by his side. Unable to bear his proximity, she backed away and then walked towards the balcony. The park was milling with cars and people, and she could hear the muted sound of traffic.
"It must be quite noisy here during the rush hour," she said brightly. "But I suppose if you have double glazing it doesn't matter. Except in the summer, of course. But then you could have air conditioning."
"A third alternative," Karim said drily, "is to buy a house somewhere quieter. Knowing how much you like deciding things for yourself, I thought I would leave the decision to you."
She found it impossible to reply and went on staring through the window.
"Have you nothing to say?" he asked.
"I… I left you," she said slowly. "You let me go."
"Because I thought you were going to marry Rory. When I saw the way you flung yourself into his arms and kissed him this morning, I believed you were already his wife."
"Yet you expect me to believe you came to England because of me?"
"I knew you'd pick that one up." His voice was still dry. "I accepted Sir Morgan's offer the day after you agreed to become my wife."
Slowly she turned to look at him. "But all the talk about where we were going to live—the house we would buy in Teheran—even building a country villa—was all that a lie?"
"I intend to have a house in Teheran. I will need to go there on business and would hope to spend holidays there, too." He drew a deep breath as if to marshal his thoughts and set them before her in some order. "Even before I asked you to marry me, I had some idea of what your reaction would be. I know you enjoyed thinking I never understood you, but I assure you I understood you only too well." His voice deepened. "Sometimes painfully well. I knew you were afraid of my foreignness—please don't deny it—and all the things that made me seem so alien to you. You never stopped to consider that you were equally alien to me. But I loved you so deeply I didn't think our differences were important. I believed that together we'd forge a bond that would be a mixture of both our ways of life. The best of the East and the best of the West would be seen in our home and in our children."
"Oh, Karim." One of her hands lifted in his direction. "If only you'd said all this to me before."
"I only realized that when it was too late. I knew you were influenced by what my parents said and that you were afraid that once I'd possessed you, my love for you would weaken."
"You knew that?"
"Certainly. I also knew you were afraid of my father's influence over me. That also affected my decision. As long as I lived in Teheran, I would have to see him frequently. But if I lived abroad I need only see him when it suited me—and it still wouldn't offend him."
"But you love him," she cried. "You want to see him often."
"Not if it means I can't see you."
She drew a deep breath. "Is that why you accepted Sir Morgan's offer?"
"That's the main reason."
"Why didn't you tell me about it before?"
"I was planning it as a surprise. I wanted everything to be settled. Once it was, Sir Morgan was flying out to join us on the Caspian Sea for a holiday. You remember my father saying he was giving a party for the family?"
"Yes, but…"
'That's when I was going to tell you. Only the party never materialized because you left me."
He stopped speaking, and Fleur forced herself to look at him properly. Why was he standing so far away from her when the Karim of old would have been beside her, pulling her close, kissing her fiercely?
"You were lying when you said you were in love with Rory, weren't you?" he went on. "You used it as an excuse to leave me."
It was pointless to deny it now. "I was afraid that if I told you the real reason, you'd try to prevent me from going."
"And the real reason was my jealousy and possessiveness? That was what frightened you." He paused. "It still does, doesn't it?"
She went on looking at him. Karim in London seemed less frightening than Karim in his own country; but she was too muddled to know why.
"I can't answer you," she said tremulously. "My thoughts don't make sense."
"Perhaps I can help you." He moved forward but still stopped some distance away from her. "If we lived in my country, you would be surrounded by my culture and my people and would be afraid of losing your identity. You started to fear this during our engagement, and that made you turn me into an ogre. My stupid jealousy didn't help either," he added grimly, "and I've no excuse to offer for that."
He ran his tongue over his lips, and she noticed the movement with surprise, for it was the first indication he had given of nervousness. Karim afraid of her? It was an inconceivable thought. She looked at him steadily, beginning to understand what those lines upon his face meant; what had placed the shadows under his eyes; sprinkled the first gray on his temples. Oh, my darling, she thought tremulously. And I believed I was the only one to suffer. But Karim was continuing to speak, and she forced herself to listen.
"If we live in England," he said, "and I am surrounded by all your cool, stiff-upper-lip compatriots, maybe some of their attitude will rub off on me! I might not achieve quite the same phlegm, but I wouldn't be quite so possessive, either." His mouth thinned. "I remember you used the word 'obsessive' and I think you were right. But it's my obsession for you that has enabled me to put your happiness before everything else that I hold dear."
She swallowed hard. He had certainly done this. He had put her before his country, his family, even his work. Obsession it might be, but it was also an overwhelming love. But there was something else that didn't make sense, and she had to know the answer.
"Why did you continue with the move to England after I left you? Surely there was no point coming to London then."
"I couldn't bear to stay in Teheran," he said with quiet violence. "My father would have kept nagging
me to marry, and it would have led to endless arguments. At least here I could live my lonely life and devote myself to work. Which I was prepared to do until an hour ago in the elevator when I suddenly discovered the wonderful truth." His eyes glittered. "No, I'm lying. I came to England hoping to make you change your mind and marry me. The day I arrived in London and went to Sir Morgan's office, I learned that Rory was on his honeymoon.
W'AIlah!" There was a world of suffering in the word. "You'll never know the bitterness I felt. My life was shattered. In my mind I kept seeing you with him… saw him holding you, loving you."
His voice shook and, hearing the broken sound, Fleur flew across the room and into his arms. They came up immediately to hold her. He was trembling, unexpectedly vulnerable.
"How thin you are," he whispered, moving his hands gently down her shoulders to her waist. "A breath of wind could blow you away."
"Is that why you're afraid to kiss me?"
"I'm afraid that once I start, I won't be able to stop. And there are many things I want to say to you first."
"I don't need to hear any more. When I think of your coming here… of all you've given up…"
"Of all I've gained," he said huskily. "Think of that, my heart. It's much more important."
"I should never have left you." She clung to him and pressed her face upon his, not caring that he felt her tears. "I was stupid and ignorant. I thought I was the only one who knew how to love. I was afraid you only wanted me for…" She pressed closer to him, unwilling to continue.
"For your body?" he said. "And did you also think that once I possessed it, I would grow tired of it?" He put his hands on either side of her temples. "I think that's what my father wanted you to believe. I won't answer such an accusation. Time will do it for me."
"Your willingness to live here has already done it," she murmured.
"Good. Then I won't be accused of lust if I insist on Jin immediate marriage! You once agreed to be my bride in October, and we only have twelve days left in which to make the arrangements."
"Can it be a quiet wedding?" she pleaded. "I know you'll want it to be back home, but…"
"No," he interrupted. "It will be here. My parents and Nizea will fly over for it. I've no intention of taking you to Teheran until we've been married long enough for you to have confidence in your power over me."
"In our power over each other," she corrected, and felt the deep shudder that went through him as he pressed his mouth against the softness of her neck.
"When we're married," he whispered, "would you mind if Nizea came to live with us?"
"You mean she's coming to England?"
"She has been accepted for the university. I persuaded' my father to let her live here with me."
"I can't believe any of this is happening." Fleur put her arms under Karim's jacket. "When I woke up this morning all the world was dark and miserable, and now it's exploding into a thousand glorious lights."
"There's only one light in my world," he said, "and that's you, my flower of the desert."
"I can't be a flower of the desert if we live in London."
"Then let's say you're the flower of my heart."
She laughed, but the sound was stifled as his lips covered hers. The long months of their separation were not going to be easily assuaged and neither of them attempted it, knowing that this would not be until they were man and wife. But they were content to remain close, to murmur endearments, to kiss gently, and to savor their newly discovered understanding of each other. There might be difficulties ahead, but nothing would be too great for their love to surmount.
"Apart we are nothing," Karim whispered, echoing her thoughts. "But together we are everything.”
Roberta Leigh - Flower of the Desert Page 17
