Damaged

by Jody Holford

  Noah found Maddi outside, sitting on a bench where people probably came to smoke. Or escape. She looked up from staring at the ground when he sat beside her, put his arm around her, and pulled her to his side. Her eyes were red and swollen and tired. He pushed all of his “what if” thoughts back so he didn’t completely lose it. She didn’t need that.

  “Where’s Nat?” she asked.

  Maddi was completely unaware of how amazing it was that she always thought of others before herself. Noah ran his free hand over her cheek, caressing it, loving the feel of her skin, so glad that everyone was okay.

  “She just needed to use the washroom quick. She’ll be out in a second. I want you to come to my house tonight. Nat’s coming too.” He stopped himself from saying he wanted her there tonight and every night after for the rest of his life.

  “I should go home. She needs you.”

  Noah touched his forehead to hers, squeezed her shoulder. “I need you,” he said simply and, because he couldn’t help it, he covered her mouth with his greedily. Tracing her lips with his tongue, he groaned and pulled her tighter. God. What the hell would he do without her? He didn’t know he could need like this.

  “I think I’m supposed to say, ‘get a room,’” Nat said in a quiet voice from above them. The trace of humor in her tone relieved him.

  “Hey. You all ready?” he asked, standing, keeping Maddi’s hand in his.

  “Yes. Are you all right, Maddi? I’m so—”

  Maddi stepped toward Natalie and put her hands on her shoulders. “Don’t apologize. This was not your fault. I’m fine. Are you?”

  “I think so. Actually, I’m really hungry,” she said, giving a one-sided, half-hearted smile.

  Noah and Maddi chuckled, and the three of them walked to the car.

  They’d stocked up on food the day before. God, had it only been yesterday? How could so much happen in such a short period of time? He needed to get Nat settled so he could take care of Maddi. Mind you, if he shared that thought, she’d likely tell him where to go.

  “What are you smiling at?” Maddi asked softly from the passenger side of the truck.

  “Just thinking about taking care of you and—”

  “Noah, I don’t—”

  “Thought of how you’d respond.”

  Maddi tried to glare at him but gave up and smiled instead, making his stomach tighten with both lust and love. He’d never forget walking into that living room and seeing a gun pointed at the two most important people in his life. He likely wouldn’t forget any moment from the second he’d stepped out of his truck and in front of Jason’s gun.

  “Did you talk to him at all?” Noah asked softly, reaching for her hand.

  “Barely. There’s not a lot to say after so many years, Noah. Leave it alone.”

  When he’d parked in his driveway, he’d started to say more. He wanted to tell her about the genuine concern Jason had for her while both of their sisters had been trapped with a lunatic. She got out of the truck, waited for Nat, and headed up the walkway, not willing to entertain the notion that her brother still cared. Noah followed behind, feeling a strange pang at the sight of Maddi opening his front door with her own key ring. Leave it alone, she’d said. That’s what he should do but since the moment he’d met her, doing that had been impossible.

  “I’m going to lie down,” Nat said in a muted tone before heading down the small hallway to the spare bedroom. Maddi sat on the small bench in the entryway to remove her shoes while Noah caught Nat’s arm and pulled her into a hug. After releasing her, he came back to take off his own shoes.

  “You’re very huggy,” Maddi said. His laugh sounded far away. The weight of everything that had happened was hovering, heavy over her head, waiting to fall like rain. She pushed it back by trying to breathe in and out slowly. Home. Maddi should go home. She didn’t know if she could keep pushing the cloud back, if she could hold off the storm swirling inside her. God, it’d been so long since she’d felt so many emotions vie for space in her heart and stomach.

  “Maddi?” Noah said as she continued to just sit there on the slightly padded spot, one shoe in her hand, untied, the other still on her foot.

  “I should go.”

  “Maddi.”

  Noah’s tone was disapproving. It wasn’t one she’d heard from him before, and it made her look up. He was standing there, hands in his pockets, his gorgeous, soft hair completely rumpled like they’d just rolled out of bed. His thick, long-sleeve shirt was only partially tucked in. His jeans had dirt on them and were torn just above the knee. When her eyes made their way back up to his, she found his gaze soft and understanding. Her lips trembled as she stood to tell him again that she should go. Noah stepped forward, and the storm inside of her fought to the surface, starting with the tears that had been waiting. Maddi couldn’t stop them from pouring down her cheeks. Noah closed the distance, pulling her in. She let the shoe drop onto the tile like her tears.

  “I should go,” she said in a voice she barely recognized. She didn’t know who she was anymore, and she was tired of trying to figure it out. So tired. Noah shook his head, lifted her, like she weighed nothing, and carried her toward the bedroom while she continued to cry.

  “I need to go.” She stammered.

  “You need to stay,” he whispered, kissing the tears as he laid her on his bed. “You should always stay.”

  He crawled in beside her, pulled a blanket from the foot of the bed over them, and wrapped both of his arms around her, holding her so close and so tight that she should have felt suffocated. Oddly enough, lying there, with him surrounding her completely, whispering to her while he smoothed her hair back and kissed her face, she found that she could finally breathe.

  “What should I be when I grow up, Mommy?” Maddi asked as she watched her mom get ready to go out to dinner with her dad. It was their anniversary. Maddi didn’t know what that was but it seemed fun.

  “Happy,” her mother replied, continuing to brush her long, dark hair as her eyes met Maddi’s in the mirror.

  Maddi giggled as she lay on her mom and dad’s big, cozy bed. “That’s a silly thing to be,” she told her. She could see her mom’s smile in the vanity mirror.

  “Maybe, but it’s important. You be good for Jason tonight, okay?”

  Her mom placed the brush down, winced slightly as she stood and walked over to the bed. Maddi stood on the bed and threw her arms around her mom.

  “I’m always good,” she replied cheekily. Her mom hugged her tight and twirled her once.

  “You certainly are. I love you.”

  “Always?”

  “And forever, Maddison.”

  “No matter what.”

  “No matter what.”

  Maddi opened her eyes to find Noah stroking her cheek and telling her it was okay.

  “Noah.”

  “I hope you weren’t expecting someone else,” he said softly, a small smile playing on his lips.

  “No. No one else.”

  “You were talking in your sleep. You must have been dreaming.”

  Maddi rolled toward him, noted that, at some point, he’d lost his shirt and pants and was now in just his boxers. Glancing around, she noticed there was no light coming through the bedroom window. How long had she slept?

  “I was. I didn’t mean to be, but I was.”

  “You were exhausted, honey. What were you dreaming about?”

  She looked up at him, ran her hand over his slightly-whiskered cheek and his lips. “About being happy.”

  “I’m happy you’re here,” he told her, kissing the tip of her nose.

  “Me too.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “I love you, Maddi.”

  Her heart ached in so many different directions but the words soothed her, mended some of the cracks.

  “I love you,” she replied. Silently, she added, “always”.

  Chapter 22

  Noah was standing on the back porch w
hen he heard a knock at the door. Coffee in hand, he walked barefoot through his house. Maddi was in the shower and Nat was still sleeping. Hell of a night. Jason stood on his doorstep, a covered box tucked under his arm. The clothes from yesterday were wrinkled on his large frame. His face was unsmiling and his eyes were covered by dark sunglasses.

  “I didn’t get you anything,” Noah said by way of greeting. Jason’s lips quirked slightly as he held out the box.

  “Can you give this to Maddi for me?” he asked.

  “Do you want to come in? She’s in the shower.”

  “No. Just give her that. Tell her … shit, never mind. Just give her that.” Jason turned to head down Noah’s front steps.

  “Hey,” Noah called, which made Jason stop and turn back.

  “What?”

  “Everything else aside, you helped me save my sister. Even if you didn’t mean to, you were watching out for her and there when it mattered,” Noah said, feeling awkward but knowing that ‘thanks,’ at the very least, was in order. Jason pushed his sunglasses up to sit on his head and let out a deep sigh.

  “Same goes. For my sister, I mean,” he finally muttered.

  “You sure you don’t want to come in, man?” Noah asked again. He wasn’t trying to bond with the guy but it was clear that Jason cared a great deal about his sister, and Noah knew how that felt.

  “I got a plane to catch. I’m heading back to Vegas. But … thanks,” he replied, turning and walking toward his rental car.

  Noah figured the thanks was for more than the invite. He knew that if he couldn’t be close to Nat, he’d want someone to watch out for her, love her, the way Noah did Maddi. Scratch that, he thought, shaking his head in disgust. He did not want to think about anybody loving his sister the way he loved Maddi. Thinking of Maddi made him wonder if she might still be in the shower. Shutting the door and placing the box on the shoe bench, he went to find out.

  Maddi scooped her hair up into a ponytail as she walked out of Noah’s en-suite, steam from the shower in her wake.

  “Hey,” she said. When he closed the door behind him, she saw the flash of heat in his eyes and a gentle, playful smile on his face.

  “Hi. I was hoping to catch you just like that,” he said, nodding toward the towel she’d wrapped around her body. Despite everything, the fact that he could look at her like that, even now, made her smile.

  “Oh really?” She tucked the towel tighter between her breasts and placed herself on the other side of his bed. He grinned and nodded his head again.

  “Mm-hmmm,” he murmured, moving around to where she stood. She laughed and tried to move onto the bed to get to the other side. Noah caught her at the same time the towel slipped and, using her surprise to his advantage, fell with her onto the bed.

  “Nice try.” He chuckled, covering her with his body. She looked up at him and pushed the hair off his forehead. His lips trailed her collarbone, placing small kisses along its length.

  “Not really fair, seeing as I’m in a towel.”

  He pushed up on his forearms, looked down at her with a spirited smile. “You’re right. Let me help you with that,” he answered, pulling at the center of the towel until he’d parted it.

  “Not exactly what I meant.” She sighed as he kissed her. His mouth covered hers and his tongue touched her lips, making her back arch with the need for more. The feel of his cotton shirt, his jeans shifting over her naked body, intensified the kiss. Maddi yanked at his shirt. He paused to pull it over his shoulders, toss it on the floor. She ran her hands down his back, gently raked her nails up. His groan as he pushed his body into hers encouraged her to do it again. His hands moved slowly over her, his lips following his fingertips, kissing, retreating, teasing, as he moved down making everything else fall away while she fell apart in the best way possible.

  “Hmmm, I have such good timing.” Noah said, a sexy smile on his lips. Maddi laughed at his satisfied tone as she sat up on the bed, grabbed the towel he’d yanked off her to cover herself. He pulled at it again, making her laugh more.

  “It’s good to hear you laugh,” he said more seriously. She wrapped the towel around her, stood to grab her clothes.

  “It feels strange, in spite of everything that’s happened. How’s Nat?” She pulled her underwear up under the towel.

  “She’s not up yet,” he replied, watching her with an amused expression, his hands tucked behind his head, his body sprawled lazily.

  “Are you working today?”

  She tossed the towel at him to put on her bra. He grinned widely as he threw it to the floor and continued to watch her dress.

  “Of course not. I’m not leaving you or Nat today.”

  “I need to go home. I have work to do,” Maddi said as she finished dressing. Noah went into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar.

  “You have work that can’t wait?” he called.

  “I can’t put my life on hold, Noah.”

  He came back out, wearing boxers and a frown. “No. But you could take a break for the day. Your brother dropped off a box of stuff.”

  “What?”

  “Jason dropped off a box of stuff.”

  “When?”

  “Earlier this morning. I asked him in, but he had to catch a flight back to Vegas. You were in the shower.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that?” Her heart felt fluttery in her chest. Maddi hadn’t wanted to see him but the thought that she hadn’t, that he’d left something for her, made her agitated. Uneasy. Curious.

  “I just did,” he replied then looked at her and added, “and when I came in, I didn’t tell you right away because you distracted me.”

  “I distracted you?” She huffed out a breath and pulled open his bedroom door, closing it loudly behind her as she left.

  Noah finished dressing, wondering if he should follow her. He knew better than to tell her she looked hot when she was frustrated. Smiling at the memory of how hot she’d looked just moments ago, he thought it best to keep his words to himself. Maddi didn’t seem too impressed with him but he just couldn’t stop being grateful she was okay. Thinking of okay, he figured he should also check on Nat. Noah knocked on the guest bedroom door, wondering while he waited if the room would make a good workshop for Maddi.

  “Hey,” Nat said sleepily, opening the door. Her hair was flat on one side, a bit puffy on the other. She was in a tank top and pajama pants and, to him, she looked pale.

  “You okay?”

  “Tired. What time is it?”

  “11:30.”

  “Oh no. I needed to make some phone calls to confirm appointments, and I was trying to finish the application for a work permit on the new site—”

  “Breathe, Nat. I’m pretty sure your boss will let it go for the day.” He smiled, reaching out to playfully tug a strand of her long hair. She smiled unhappily.

  “Still. I should get up,” she replied.

  “You should do whatever you feel like doing today. Just relax, okay?” he said, pulling her into a hug. He thought he heard the door as Nat hugged him back, hard.

  “Thank you, Noah.”

  “For what?”

  “Just for being there. For being my big brother. I love you. I’m sorry I got you and Maddi caught up in all of this.”

  Noah leaned back, looked into her sad eyes. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Nat. None of this is your fault. You’re going to be okay, you know.”

  “Probably,” she agreed with a slight smile.

  “Get dressed. I’ll make breakfast.”

  Noah thought he’d find Maddi in the kitchen, but remembered he’d left his coffee cup in the living room. Maddi wasn’t in either of the rooms, but the box Jason had left was open on the couch. There were some photo albums set on the coffee table and envelopes piled and tied together with ribbon. There were a couple of manila envelopes sticking out of the box. His pulse spiked as he opened one of the photo albums. Maddi as a little girl, Jason as a young boy. Jason looked like their father, Maddi, lik
e their mother. They were an incredibly striking couple. Maddi’s mom had long, jet black hair down to her hips. She smiled out of the photos happily, her husband’s arm around her in most of them. As he flipped through, he saw Maddi as a young girl, birthdays, Christmas’, typical family moments. She’d gone through these photographs, he thought, alone. She had no photos in her apartment of her family, and he wondered if she even possessed any.

  “Maddi?” he called out uselessly, knowing she wasn’t there. His pulse scrambled as his heart beat heavy and dull in his chest.

  “Maddi?” he called again, putting the photo album down, going back into the kitchen. He found Nat pouring coffee.

  “Hey. Can’t find your girl?” she teased, turning to see his face. Her smile disappeared. “What’s wrong Noah?”

  “Maddi’s not here. She got a box of family stuff from Jason. He dropped it off this morning and now she’s gone.” Noah picked up his cell from the island countertop and dialed her number. It rang in his ear at the same time he could hear the sound faintly from the back of the house.

  “Her phone is here, Noah. I can hear it ringing,” Nat said.

  “Yeah. I got that,” he said and put his phone down with a slam.

  “What are you going to do? Where do you think she is?”

  “I think she’s exactly where she should be. I just hope like hell she comes back.”

  Maddi moved through the airport quickly, scanning the crowds and kiosks. For all her traveling, she’d never been on a plane and found the mass of people, the parking, and the sheer size of the place overwhelming. There were only two airlines flying to Nevada today. She’d gone with instinct and was heading toward the gate of the one that was departing earlier. Something in her had snapped, shattered, and healed all at the same time when she saw those photographs.