by Cora Brent
She didn’t look away from my face once but she let some time go by before she spoke, like she was trying to piece together her thoughts. “I don’t always know how to talk about what matters to me. I guess after I lost everything it was easier to pretend that nothing mattered.” A small smile touched her lips. “But you surprise me every day, Chasyn. You make me feel hopeful and happy and sometimes angry but always amazingly lucky. I don’t doubt you, Chase. Not at all.”
I wanted to take her home. There was a long list of things I wanted to do to her once we were there. But it was more important to let her heal in whatever way she needed. If that meant I’d be spending a lot of time in the shower in the coming days, then at least my hand was strong.
Stephanie leaned into my chest, pressing her cheek against my heart. I held her in my arms and delighted in the soft sigh that escaped her. It was a beautiful moment.
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
Stephanie
“Truly, how do I tell if these are done?”
“Cut one open. If it’s not bleedin’ in the middle it’s done.”
“Thanks. Sorry. Go back to your pies.”
As I ended the call, Chase walked into the kitchen and peered down at the sizzling meat on the stove.
“Steph, I think these are beyond done. They look kind of like antique hockey pucks.”
“Shit.” I grabbed a steel spatula and tried to lift a hamburger patty from the hot frying pan. I was clumsy and it fell on the kitchen floor. Dolly crept over, sniffed at the charred meat and gave me a disgusted look. “I know,” I grumbled. “Betty Crocker I am not.”
Chase laughed and took the spatula from me, transferring the rest of the hamburger patties to a plate. “Let’s eat,” he said cheerfully.
Truly was over at the boys’ apartment, making use of their larger kitchen in preparation for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving feast. I’d had the bright idea of cooking a romantic dinner for Chase but my limited domestic skills weren’t cooperating.
Chase didn’t seem to mind. He whistled as he filled our glasses with fizzy Dr. Pepper and then gave me a long, admiring look as he settled into his chair and watched me remove Truly’s apron.
“This looks delicious, honey,” he said without a trace of irony.
“Burned hamburgers and scorched fries? Your taste may be lacking, Gentry.”
“No.” His eyes were serious, intense and completely focused on me. “My taste is impeccable, Stephanie.”
I swallowed, feeling a rush of desire shoot through me as I slid into the chair across from him. I knew he wasn’t talking about the food. I also knew how badly he wanted to go straight to the bedroom even though he’d been nothing but sweet and patient this past week. We were still together every night and although I knew it drove Chase nearly crazy to stop at kissing, he never complained once. I wanted him. I wanted him so much. But then the cold hand of shame would interfere and I just couldn’t.
The first few days after the whole video debacle were rough. It seemed people recognized me everywhere I went. They stared and whispered and sometimes shouted things. It was a constant reminder and I was trying not to let it hurt me. All those people only thought they knew the truth. In reality they didn’t know a damn thing. Chase insisted on shadowing me as much as possible and there were indeed far fewer catcalls when he was around. When he couldn’t be there he sent Creed to watch out for me.
“I really don’t need a babysitter,” I’d grumbled to Truly last night night at work as we loaded up drink trays at the bar. Chase was working all evening and Creedence was hunched at a nearby table in Cluck This, glowering at anyone he decided might be trouble.
Truly chuckled. “Don’t even try to stop him, Steph. The Gentry boys are a team and they protect what’s theirs.”
I had rolled my eyes but I snuck a free basket of cheese fries to Creed. The truth was I felt better with him nearby when Chase couldn’t be. If anyone said a thing to me, Creedence was quick to let them know that it would be wiser to keep their opinions quiet.
I was hoping that the four day Thanksgiving break would give things a chance to die down. After that, there were only a few more weeks left in the semester and then the long winter holidays. I thought about my brother Michael a lot. I worried for him and hoped he’d be in touch again. So far he hadn’t.
Chase raised his glass of soda. “Cheers,” he grinned and clicked his glass against mine. Then he went to work trying to force down the substandard meal. Since I wasn’t at all hungry I watched him. Chase Gentry was amazing. He was gorgeous and strong, protective and brilliant, humorous and loving. He could also be stubborn and arrogant, demanding and crude. He wasn’t perfect. He was better than that. He was mine. I loved him. And suddenly I needed to show him how much.
He looked up when I rose from my chair. I stood in front of him for a second, feeling mildly nervous and then crushing that reaction. He pulled his chair back from the table a few inches and waited. I was wearing the same dark green dress I’d worn for him before. I stood in front of him and pulled it slowly down over my body as I’d also done before. Chase didn’t wait any longer. He went to me and put his hands roughly over mine, helping me slide the fabric gradually over my hips. His hands moved all over my skin and I trembled. I looked down and could clearly see the outline of his arousal. I cupped my hand over it and pressed while he inhaled sharply. I kissed him.
“Don’t hold back, Chase. Tonight I want to do everything.”
He pulled his shirt off and threw it down impatiently. “Good, because I’m planning on worshipping every luscious inch of you, baby.”
Chase lifted me so suddenly that I gasped. His mouth found mine and we stayed locked together as he carried me into the bedroom. As soon as he set me down he was everywhere; touching, licking, stroking. I was ready to come just from the pressure of his hands and the tease of his mouth but I wanted him inside me first.
“Now!” I yelled and he was ready. Chase drove himself into me hard and it was exactly what I wanted. I wrapped myself around him and moaned his name while he pumped wildly.
“You’re all I ever want, honey,” he panted.
The rest of the world was gone and there was only him. It was so good I almost couldn’t breathe. My voice was barely a whisper because I was so distracted by the feel of him. “Chase, you’re the only one who does this to me.”
Chase didn’t let up. He wasn’t done yet. “And I’m the only one who ever fucking will.”
“You’ll always be the only one.”
He kissed me fiercely and came hard as our tongues intertwined and our bodies convulsed together. When he could breathe normally again he propped himself up on his elbows and stared down at me.
“You’re heavy,” I complained but I was smiling.
He flexed. “All muscle, like I told you.”
I arched my body underneath him. “And I do like it when you show me your muscles.”
Chase thought about that. “Give me five minutes and I’ll happily treat you to another demonstration of my most powerful muscle.”
“Five minutes? Wow, you’re an optimist.”
“Always,” he said seriously. He shifted his weight to his right elbow and gently ran his left hand across my check. His voice dropped and was hoarse with emotion. “I love you, lady.”
I would never get tired of hearing that. He could say those same words three hundred times a day and I would still crave the sound of them. Truly had once cautioned me against losing myself in the capricious whirlwind of love. Well, I could now recognize that I had lost a little of myself, but it wasn’t a bad thing. I’d shed a little of my fear and insecurity. I’d stopped keeping myself so closed off and allowed my heart to soften. I had changed. We both had.
I ran my hands over his arms and down his chest. I would never get over him. He had me in every way and, astonishingly, I had him.
“Chase, I love you too.”
He kissed me again then pulled back. There was a mischievous grin on his face and he
was casually getting between my legs again. “Five minutes are up.”
“As are you,” I laughed, pointing, and we were wild together. Then later, Chase grew gentle. He moved with slow surety and every touch showed how he cherished me.
There was nothing better than this. There was no one better than him.
EPILOGUE
Chase
“Ho. Ho. Ho.”
She slowly opened her eyes and then gaped at me in disbelief. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m Santa.”
“You’re naked.”
“Not true. I’m wearing the beard and hat. I was practicing.”
Stephanie tried to push me off but my bare thighs were pinning her down. She gave up and stretched, giving me a bemused grin. “Practicing for what?”
“Next year, for Cord and Saylor’s kids. Someone will get tapped to do the Santa thing. Fuck if I’m gonna let Creed have that honor.” When she tried to move again I held her down and pushed her shirt up. “Come on, Steph. Haven’t you harbored some unseemly Santa fantasies all these years?”
“No. I was glad Santa never came to my house. Who the hell wants a fat dude dressed in red velvet spying on them in their sleep?”
“Indulge me, baby. Embrace my customs. After all, I participated in that menorah and dreidel business last week.”
She groaned and covered her eyes. “I’m never going to get over what you did to that poor dreidel.”
“Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel; when I’m hard and ready, then-“
“Chase,” she shrieked, “that’s NOT how the song goes!”
“But it’s how I go.”
She looked down and then started laughing when she saw that I was already wearing a condom. “I see that.”
“Then let me unwrap my present.” I pulled her panties off and she raised an eyebrow.
“Can I at least have some coffee first?”
I’d thought of everything and had a cup waiting. She drank several gulps while I watched impatiently and kept my dick warm by pressing it into her palm and closing her fingers around it. She finally set the hot cup down and immediately I flipped her over and spread her legs, giving her ass a playful slap. “Now you need to learn what happens to naughty girls.”
She glanced behind her and cracked up. “At least take off that damn beard.”
“Nope.” I entered her and she let out a soft moan that made me harder so I pushed deeper. It was quick and dirty, the best Christmas present ever. “Tis the fucking season!” I yelled when I came.
Afterward I finally yanked off the beard because Steph wouldn’t kiss me until it was gone. She nestled against me and I held her quietly, just enjoying the feel of her skin.
“What time do we have to be there?” she yawned.
“Promised Cord we’d show up at two. Saylor wants to wait until everyone is there before the big reveal.”
“So they definitely know if the babies are boys or girls?”
“Yeah, they were able to tell from the ultrasound the other day.”
“That’s awesome,” she said in a dreamy voice.
I stroked her hair. “You ever think about us that like that, Steph? Married with kids?”
She rolled over and rested her chin on my chest. “Sometimes. But right now I’m happy being here.”
“Here is nice,” I agreed, looking around. “Would be nicer with fewer boxes.”
She pulled the covers over her head. “Get off my case. I’ll get to it.”
“Hey, baby? While you’re down there…”
We finally rolled out of bed a little while later. Stephanie started another pot of coffee while I poured two bowls of cereal.
“This is how you know I love you,” I said, pushing a bowl across the table to her. “I wouldn’t even willingly share my Marshmallow Mates with the boys.”
She smiled and grabbed a spoon. I looked around the apartment while I chewed. I was just giving Steph a hard time when I complained about the boxes. There weren’t many and they didn’t bother me. There’d been so much to catch up with lately but all of it was wonderful. At the beginning of the month Cord and Saylor had moved into their rental house two miles away. Truly and Creed found an apartment in a quieter part of town and they had happily settled there the day Stephanie and I moved into our own place. Stephanie’s landlord agreed to let her break her lease if she would take a one bedroom apartment that had just been vacated. It was a little cheaper than the place she’d shared with Truly and with the two of us working we could manage the rent.
Even though I had no doubts at all about living with Stephanie, I was still getting used to not having my brothers close all the time. For nearly twenty three years we’d been together every step of the way. And even though we still weren’t that far apart in terms of distance, we were separating in a more important way. We would always be the Gentry boys; our histories were too intertwined and we loved each other too much. But we were also men who were finding our own paths and building our own families.
“What’s wrong?” asked the girl I loved.
I reached under the table and squeezed her knee. “Nothing, sweetheart. Everything is perfect.”
She slid out of her chair and into my lap. Her arms went around me and my hand went up her shirt. “You look like you need another Christmas present,” she said seriously.
Who the hell would turn down an offer like that? “I think you’re right.”
After we got a good workout in the shower and then another in the bedroom, Stephanie cursed when she noticed the time. “We’ll be late!” she panicked and started diving through boxes looking for something to wear. Since it was an activity she was conducting while completely, gloriously naked, I was in no hurry to move on to something else.
“Chase! Get dressed. We need to leave here like ten minutes ago.”
“Fine,” I sighed and threw on a shirt and jeans.
Stephanie pulled on the plain black dress she’d worn on our first real date and then hunted around for shoes.
“Fuck it,” she grumbled and then pulled on her black and white Converse sneakers. She fluffed her long curly hair and gave me a timid smile. “Do I look okay?”
“No,” I told her gravely. “You don’t look okay. You look stunning.”
We got to Cord and Saylor’s place at a quarter after two and of course we were the last ones there. Cord didn’t complain. He gave me a broad grin when he opened the door. The first thing I saw was a Christmas tree. When we were growing up, we’d only sporadically had trees for the holiday, and usually only when our Uncle Chrome brought one over. Saylor stood in front of the tree, looking radiant and even more pregnant than the last time I’d seen her three days earlier. She hugged us and then shooed us into the living room. Creed waved from a corner armchair where Truly was nestled in his lap. Brayden and Millie had their arms around each other and were standing on the opposite side of the room. My cousin Deck had ridden his bike up from Emblem this morning and he was sprawled on the couch with a lazy smile on his face.
Saylor waited until Cordero was at her side. They smiled at each other and Saylor prodded my brother with a wink.
“You tell them.”
Cord took a deep breath. “Girls,” he said proudly as he placed a loving hand over his wife’s stomach. “Two healthy girls.”
There were a lot of squeals and hugs as the news sank in. Cord went to shake my hand but I grabbed him in a full bear squeeze, feeling myself getting a bit teary-eyed over the sheer goddamn miracle of it all. There was no other word for it.
Truly had brought over a glazed ham and sitting down to a holiday meal in my brother’s home, surrounded by the people I loved, just felt surreal. Stephanie sat to my right and Deck to my left. Throughout dinner I joked with my cousin, kept my hand on my girl’s knee and just felt utterly grateful for everything and everyone around me.
Later, the girls cornered poor Declan in the kitchen and fussed over him.
“We simply have to find you a nice gir
l now,” Truly was saying as she handed him a plate.
Deck took the plate and began blotting it with a dishtowel. “A nice girl won’t be so nice anymore after I spend a few hours with her.”
“Deck,” I said incredulously, “why the hell are you drying the dishes?”
He shrugged. “Seemed like the polite thing to do.” He held a glass up to the light and examined it for spots. “You know I’m all about politeness, Chase.”
Saylor and Stephanie were sitting at the table giggling. Deck did that to women, all women. I decided to abandon the spectacle of my heavily tattooed leather-clad cousin performing housekeeping duties. Creed was standing out in the backyard watching the sunset.
“So how’s the cohabitation?” I asked him.
He stared at me a little blankly.
“You and Truly getting along?”
Creed flashed a smile. “Of course. How about you and Steph?”
“It’s good,” I nodded. “It’s so damn good.”
“I hope you’re speaking for more than your dick.”
“Well, he is undeniably ecstatic. But it’s all good, Creed.” I listened to the sound of Deck cracking a joke inside and then the three girls laughing uproariously. “Still can’t believe the three of us got so lucky.”
“We are the luckiest sons of bitches on the planet.”
“Fuck yeah.”
“It’s been a hell of a year.”
“That it has.”
My brother sighed. “Miss you, man,” he said quietly. For Creedence to say something like that was like a regular person throwing arms wide and howling about everlasting love.
