by Athena Dore
She rested her head against Xavier’s shoulder. He was warm against the coldness of the night. She could feel his hands holding her securely, feel his heart beating, feel the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, as it moved in time with her own. It was just the two of them up here. So peaceful. Her eyes closed and she found herself drifting…slowly… off to sleep.
She woke up as they were descending. There was a house below. Not a large country house; more like a cottage with a thatched roof.
They landed.
“Rochelle do you think you could get the key? It’s in my dressing gown pocket”. She fumbled in the pockets and her fingers closed round it. Taking out the key, she opened the door.
He put her down and turned on the light.
“Where are we?” she asked.
“This is Sebastian and I’s hideout. We used to come here a lot as teenagers but we haven’t been here in a few years”. Wow, thought Rochelle. Hideouts were often treehouses, sheds, abandoned or rundown structures in out of the way places, not expensive cottages.
“You must be cold” he said, rubbing her arms before going to the fire place to light a fire. She was. Her phone said they’d been flying for about half an hour. It had been cold so high up. She moved to be close to the fire. It blazed; a warm, orange glow, dancing in the grate. It reminded her of Roseford. Burning.
“I’m going to get some food and supplies. Is there anything you’d like in particular?”
“No thanks” she said.
He picked up his dressing gown from the armchair, where she’d left it when she’d taken it off.
“Sebastian should be coming to drop off some of my medication. I’ll probably be back before then, but don’t open the door to anyone but him”.
He left.
Warmer now, Rochelle sat on the sofa. Even though the cottage had been empty for a few years, someone was obviously keeping it clean and maintained.
She sat watching the fire flicker, occupied by various thoughts – mostly those from the last month – until the door opened and Xavier returned with the shopping.
He made them some hot chocolate and sat down next to her on the sofa.
“Sebastian’s been held up talking to the police,” Xavier said, “So he’s going to drive here, which will set him back a few hours. But we’ll take you home after that”.
Home. That would probably be a few hours’ drive too, thought Rochelle. She didn’t know where they were now or how fast Xavier flew but she knew Roseford was a couple of hours from Lower Ferton.
Was she even ready to go home? She didn’t want to think about it just yet.
“Do the police know who did it?”
“No, but they suspect it’s a group of activists who are against my father building a resort in the countryside. They do things like throwing stones through the window, starting fires outside our property, posting faeces and dead rats in the letterboxes. But it’s the first time they’d have done something as large as cause a gas leak”.
“That’s awful”.
She was starting to see why he liked quiet and uneventful.
He put his arm around her and she snuggled against him. They sat in silence for a while, until she found herself dosing again.
When she woke up, Xavier was gone.
“Xavier?” she called but he was nowhere to be found in the house.
She began to panic. Had something happened to him?
“Xavier?”
He was outside, resting against the wall, taking deep breaths. He stepped into the house.
“Rochelle” he said, “You should get far away from here”.
Rochelle looked concerned.
“Why, is it happening again?”
He nodded.
“Yes”.
All that flying around at night and being close to Rochelle for a prolonged amount of time had brought it about much sooner than normal, like how the smell of food could induce hunger.
She put a hand on his shoulder.
“Sebastian will be here soon”.
“No,” he said, “I don't think he'll be here in time”.
Perspiration sparkled on his forehead. His hand shook slightly as he raised it to stroke her cheek.
“I don't want to hurt you again”. Again. Her heart constricted, remembering his hands, almost crushing her wrists in his grasp, how powerless she felt and his breath against her neck before...before he... bit her.
She couldn't go through it again. Just the thought of it made her want to run forever and never look back. But she couldn't abandon him.
His hand fell from her face. He was very still, very quiet...
Without thinking, she reached out to him.
“Xavier, stay with me” she said. She was afraid but she was surprised that her voice was steady, half commanding, half imploring.
He looked up. His hands were clenched so tightly into fists they trembled. There was torment and desperation in his eyes. Within a second, they switched to primal and savage.
“Xavier, I know you're still there”. She stroked his arm, gingerly at first, but gaining confidence, with a more pacifying touch. Her other hand rose to his face, brushing the hair from his eyes and caressing his temple and jaw with her fingertips.
His eyes changed back. Internally, he struggled. He teetered between Xavier and the beast, Xavier and the hidden nature he tried so hard to suppress, Xavier, the man who would do anything to protect Rochelle, and Xavier, the monster who was intent on killing her...
The monster in him won. Knowing he had lost, with the dying remnants of his human side, he pushed her away from him in an attempt to save her. However, as he lost control of himself, the raw strength of his beast side threw her across the room.
She slammed against the table and hit the floor.
He growled, no longer Xavier. Rage writhed and burned within him. His eyes flashed. His wings burst forth.
Rochelle's side hurt. She tried to get up but wasn't quick enough. He rushed over to her, gripping her forearms, the momentum knocking her backwards once more. He toppled onto her, breathing heavily.
It really was happening again. Panic washed over her. She couldn't escape this time, she knew it.
But earlier, she had nearly got through to him - had actually got through to him, briefly.
What did she have to lose? She would fight back the only way she could.
“Xavier, it's okay” she said. Her hands, instead of trying to push him away, pulled him closer. She hugged him. Her fingers stroked his back. His toned muscles were firm to the touch, contrasting with the softness, the warmth of his skin. He felt so alive, so human. He was her Xavier. If she believed it, she would get through to him. She had to.
He inched closer to her throat.
“It's me, Xavier”.
Her voice was almost a whisper near his ear, intimate and soothing.
He paused. She sensed hesitation in the beast.
“Xavier, come back”.
He let out a low growl.
“Fight it”.
His hands began to loosen on her arms. She hardly dared to breathe or dared to hope.
“Xavier, can you hear me?”
Her hands moved up his back, brushing against his wings. His grip tightened on her arms again.
“I know you can do it”.
Beneath him, holding him against her, she could almost feel him fighting back, trying to regain control. She willed him to. His hold loosened once more.
“I trust you”.
For a moment, there was complete stillness between them. Rochelle could hear her heart beating. Xavier's eyebrows were furrowed with the effort to master himself. Eventually, he let go of her completely, pulled away and sat up.
“Rochelle” he exclaimed, as if seeing her for the first time, “Are you all right? Did I hurt you?” He leaned over her. Her skin tingled as his fingers skimmed along her neck, checking for bite marks.
“No” she closed her eyes for a moment and sighed with relief. She
’d done it. She’d really done it. He held out his hand and helped her up.
She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. His arms tightened around her, cocooning her against him.
She felt as though they had reached a new stage, a new level of understanding.
Acceptance.
She didn’t know what the future would hold for them. She supposed there would be more difficulties ahead, arising from one of them being lower down in the food chain than the other, but one thing she had only just come to realise was that he was more than the creature that had attacked her that night. So much more. Xavier was both the man and the beast. It wasn’t about liking one and hating the other; bestowing one with caresses and shunning the other with fear and violence. When she embraced Xavier, she embraced the beast. When she hurt the beast, she hurt Xavier. Both natures were intertwined. Only through accepting both could they move forward.
And she had also learnt that if she loved Xavier and trusted him, he would meet her half way; he would fight to protect her, even from his ultimate enemy: himself.
~*~
Knight-in-Arms Series
Part One: Secrets
Part Three: Demons
When Xavier takes Rochelle to Italy for her birthday, it promises to be the perfect holiday – for Rochelle at least. Xavier, on the other hand, finds himself plagued by demons, past and present, as he tries to suppress his deepest and darkest desires.
But when Rochelle gets caught up with Xavier’s demons, can he summon the strength to face them and protect her, or will his beastly nature take over and attack her instead?
Part Four: Ultimatum
