by Emily James
“Amber, I see you hurting. I just want to help, if you’d let me?”
“I know you do and I do appreciate you caring. It’s odd, for me, at least, but I do trust you.”
Will’s still opposite me when his hand veers to my elbow, he holds it gently, his eyes on mine. When I swallow, it’s loud, and I’m sure Will hears it, because he smiles gently. I think he knows he makes me nervous.
“The Gala, it’s this Friday, if you’re sure? It’s for a homeless project my dad was involved with. I was going to miss it, but my dad was a speaker at the event and I guess there’s an expectation that this will be my first year following in his footsteps. No pressure or anything.” He smiles nervously.
“I’d love to come, if you want to take me?”
“I do.” Will’s grin is broad and his dimples are deep, just how I like them. He looks genuinely pleased as he nods his head. My heart thuds deeply as I search for something to say.
“That’s settled then,” I nod and smile too, ‘cos it’s infectious.
“I’ll pick you up at seven on Friday, then.” Will leans in and twirls a piece of my hair between his fingers, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Okay, then.” I smile, leaning in also.
There’s a crash outside the kitchen door and I hear Roxy tell Pete to mind where he’s putting his ‘fricking clown shoes’. Cody tells them both to hush or they’ll all get busted.
Will and I exchange knowing glances and settle back into loading the washer in an easy, light mood.
* * *
I get home and head straight upstairs even though I know I’ll be too buzzed to sleep. I squirt toothpaste on the brush, using the light from the bedroom, and notice writing on the bathroom mirror.
Confused, I switch on the overhead light so I can read it: Will he love you? Yes, he WILL!
It’s written in Roxy’s pillar box red lipstick inside a heart shape. Since Roxy didn’t come in after leaving Will’s, I know she wrote it before we left, she believed I could pull off a date with Will.
Realisation smacks me in the face. I am actually going on a date like a normal person. Shit.
I text Roxy, I’m going to need help. Clothes, makeup, hair… Normal fears for a twenty-one-year-old girl are awakened in me and I know that I want this. I want normal and excited, and I want the butterfly’s that are creating a tornado in my belly.
I want to start living my life again.
Chapter 15
Will
Wake-up it’s a beautiful morning, wake-up it’s a beautiful day…
“Why are you singing, and stop dancing around? You’re making me dizzy,” Cody says and laughs at me. “Someone is in a good mood, told you she’d say yes.”
“Don’t you look so smug, Miss ‘She thinks I’m nice’. Roxy told me she thinks I’m a hot piece of ass, and she gave me that information for free! My own sister pulling a con on me, I think that’s worth the dishes and laundry for a week!”
“Hey, no fair! You do the dishes and the laundry, and I’ll go to Mrs Steven’s like a good kid, unless you sorted another babysitter?” Cody studies me, looking for a way out of doing the chores, again.
“Already sorted it, Roxy offered. Don’t mix the whites with the colours again.” I blow her a raspberry and stick out my tongue. “How do you like them apples?”
* * *
“Knock-knock, anyone home?” I call out to Amber. Flo almost knocks me off my feet as I enter. I texted Amber earlier but haven’t had a reply yet. I guess she slept in.
“Be right down,” Amber calls. She walks into the kitchen wearing cute pale blue short pyjamas. Her legs are lean and long for her small frame.
“Good morning.” She smiles and combs her hair with the tips of her fingers like her hair isn’t already sexy as fuck.
“Good morning. I hope you slept well?” I ask her, while I try to remember my excuse for being over here. “The guys and I are going to be working over at the main house all day. I’m sending Pete out to get breakfast wraps, would you like some?”
“I’m starving, thanks. I’ll just have whatever you’re having if that’s okay. Have I got time for a shower?” Amber asks and I nod. As Amber runs upstairs, I switch on the kettle to make her that weird tea with milk she likes and I text Pete my order.
* * *
“Oh my God, I am never going to eat all this. You never said you were ordering a banquet.” Amber shakes her head.
“It’s quite a hearty breakfast admittedly, but not excessive. It keeps our strength up. A few bacon and egg wraps, a dozen or so hash-browns, and some Twinkies on the side.” I smile as she cuts her wrap in half and hands the other half to me.
Amber hugs her sweater to herself as the wind whistles past the window. “Don’t Pete and Doug want to come eat in here? I could put some coffee on.”
“Nah, they’re off to pick up some more supplies. I thought I’d hold back here ‘til they’re done, supply run doesn’t take three of us.”
“Ah.” Amber’s brows raise and a smile toys on her lips. “So, you brought me breakfast as a ploy to stay warm while they’re out? Will Denver, how could you use a woman like that?”
“Hey, it’s not like that, you needed feeding, I wanted twenty-two degree heat. It’s a mutually beneficial agreement. Besides, you’ll never prove it.” I waggle my eyebrows at her. I’m enjoying our banter.
Amber snorts with laughter and starts clearing the counter. As she leans across me to grab my food containers, I twist and seat her on my lap in one fluid motion. It's a risk, but the mood is so light and friendly, I can't help myself.
“I wanted to see you. I thought I better check you weren’t too traumatised after the troublesome three ganged up on us last night. And I, um…”
“What?”
“I wanted to check you didn’t change your mind about the Gala,” I say because I completely expect her to. “Every time we get closer, it’s like you back away. You remind me of a coiled spring; I never know which way you are going to bounce?”
“A coiled spring?” Amber looks at me, questioning.
“Obviously, a very beautiful one,” I confess.
“Beautiful?” she asks, shaking her head, disbelieving.
“Yes, stunning, in fact, with a cute British accent I could listen to all day, and uh—are you, Ms Boland-Scott, fishing for compliments?” I grin, as her face fills with embarrassment.
She giggles, “No, not at all. I guess it’s been a while since I got a compliment.” Amber shifts and stands from my lap. I feel instantly cold from her absence.
“So, tell me about this Gala,” she asks, switching on the kettle. “What’s the dress code?”
“It’s black tie. Dresses for the women, I have to wear a tie. I hate formal dress. But the event was always real important to my dad and it raises a lot of money for the homeless shelter so it’s for a good cause.”
Amber picks at her sleeve as I tell her. She’s wearing pants and a well-worn university shirt and I wonder if Amber has any dresses.
“Tell me about your parents,” Amber says, sitting back at the island, with her bare foot resting on my stool, her tiny toes touching my boot.
“They were high school sweethearts, prom king and queen. Sounds corny, but my mom said she knew the instant he pulled her pigtails, they’d wind up married with kids. I arrived soon after the wedding, and right after that Mom found out she had cancer. She managed to beat it that time, and after many rounds of fertility treatments, Cody was born, but the rush of hormones brought the cancer back and it had a stronger hold second time around.”
Amber’s mouth turns down at the corners and I regret that my story made her sad. Her hand lightly strokes the top of mine and empathy floods her eyes.
“I’m sorry you went through that. It’s hard enough losing one parent. My dad said they were good people. He thinks you are pretty great, too.”
“I’d give anything just for one more day with them. Sometimes when Cody’s learned something new or
driving me nuts, I wonder what they would think. If they’d think I was doing a good enough job. But Patrick’s been really good to us. He helped me prove to the authorities I could raise Cody on my own. I owe him so much.”
Amber looks thoughtful as she continues to stroke my hand, her big Bambi eyes threaten to leak.
“What was your mom like?” I ask her.
“She was pretty alternative.” Amber sniggers, a fond smile on her lips, staring past me, remembering. “She drove a library bus around the villages.”
I must look confused, so she explains, “It's a rickety old bus filled with books. Some of the older folks couldn't get out to the actual libraries, so she delivered the library to them. When I was little, I thought it was the most embarrassing job a parent could have. Everyone knew her, but they loved her. She took her time with people. If someone was sick, she’d pick out books and read to them.” Amber laughs as she remembers, “When she laughed, she laughed so loudly you could hear it in the street. She made you feel like you were the most important person in the room every time she spoke to you, even if she was just giving you directions.”
“She sounds lovely. I see where you get it from.”
“She was so good, Will. I know when people pass away those left behind just say the good things about them and don’t mention the bad. There is nothing bad I can say about my mum, she believed in me completely. I’ve felt so alone since she died. She saw the best in everyone… apart from Tommy, she didn’t like Tommy.” Amber looks down at her hands, we’ve switched roles and now I’m lightly running my fingertips across her palms.
“It sounds to me like she had good reason to.” I stop myself from continuing, she’s opening up far more than usual. If I push her she might back off.
“She did have reasons to hate him, but she’d never outright tell me what to do. She’d just prompt me to think about his motives, or how often he’d done something similar in the past. She was a good judge of character, better than me.”
“I don’t know, I think your judgment’s improving.” I smile at her. “I think she’d be proud of you, you got away from him. You’re here now, you got a job, and you seem to be getting along with Patrick. You’ve made new friends and now you’re rescuing animals.”
We both look to Flo who snores loudly from her bed on the floor.
“And let’s not forget you have a gorgeous neighbour who’s taking you out on Friday to see the bright lights of the… Country Club. We’ll get to the city soon enough.” I wink. “Can I ask you something?”
Amber gulps nervously. “Okay.”
“Where do you really go, with Roxy? I’m not sure I believe the tennis spiel.”
“Um-I-I… Kickboxing, I’ve been going six weeks now, I like it. I’m working on my inner ninja.” She smiles half-heartedly and I wonder what else is going on in her mind. I’m not sure she’s being honest with me, though I’m not sure she’s lying either.
“That’s good, women should know self-defence.”
My fingers still idly play on her hands. My patience has paid off today and if I just give her time maybe the rest of her story will come.
A loud knock on the glass in the back door causes us both to jump. Pete and Doug play the fools acting out some kind of sexy dance outside of the window.
Amber’s hand jumps away and she giggles at their idiocy.
“Come on, lover boy, break’s over!” Pete shouts.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at seven, then?” I check, still expecting Amber to get cold feet and back out.
“I’ll be ready,” she says, smiling in such a way, I already know she’s going to break my heart someday.
Chapter 16
Amber
It’s been a strange day. The bee’s buzzing in my stomach have caused me to be twitchier than normal but in a good way. Even my five-mile run with Flo has done little to ease all my excess nervous energy.
Roxy arrived an hour ago, and pulled my hair into face-lifting, tight rollers and coated my skin in sludge. She’s painted my finger and toenails in blood red polish and has tried fifteen different lipstick shades on my hand trying to find a shade that compliments the polish.
“Can we just go for something paler?” I ask, “I’m not sure I can pull off red lipstick.”
“No you can’t. I’m having fun, don’t spoil it.”
“Knock-knock,” Cody sings, skipping into the lounge. Roxy has the music channel on high so it’s difficult to hear if anyone knocks on the door. “There’s a delivery guy out front. He has something that needs signing for, apparently.”
I turn to Cody. “And, you think I should sign for it, looking like Frankenstein’s bride?”
“He said it needs to be an adult.” She looks at Roxy, all innocent but with the slightest hint of a smirk on her lips. “He said it needs to be someone who lives here, so Roxy can’t go.”
“Uh-huh.” I nod and walk out the front door, passing the black dress that Roxy has lent me. It’s beautiful, on Roxy, but I’m worried I don’t have the curves to fill out the important bits. Roxy’s breasts are a full two sizes bigger that mine.
I walk around to the front of the house in bare feet since I don’t want to smudge my nail varnish, my feet have never looked so sexy—if feet can even look sexy.
The delivery guy hovers by the door, he’s younger than I am and has some teen acne to prove it. His eyes widen as though spooked by my lumpy green face, and he takes a step back. I decide to toy with him, “Don’t y’all come too close, the doctor says it’s real catching,” I say, proud of my developing accent.
“Delivery for Amber Boland-Scott.” He shoves the parcel at me before I can get too close and animatedly holds his breath. I intend to sign my name slowly, to see how long he can hold it for, but I relent under the size and weight of the package. It’s the size of a small person.
“What is it, what is it- what is it?” Cody hops on the sofa, her eyes wide at the parcel in my hands. The earlier light buzzing in my belly turns into an anxious lead weight. I rationalise that it’s not going to contain a severed head or something from a horror movie sent from Tommy to torment me. Still, I hold it at arm’s length, like a bomb waiting to go off.
I place the box on the sofa, the part Cody isn’t bouncing on, and assess the package. It’s rectangular in shape with a bow holding the lid in place. It’s easily three feet long and two feet wide and as deep as a regular shoebox. The card is shiny and embossed with petal designs. It's feminine and beautifully crafted.
“Are you going to open that or are you just going to kneel there and decompose with it?” Roxy raises a questioning eyebrow.
“What could it be?” I whisper nervously.
“Well, you won’t know if you don’t open it,” Roxy whispers conspiratorially.
“Cody, can you dash upstairs and grab me… some uh… tissues please?” I ask, not wanting her to see if it is something bad.
“No. I want to see what’s in the box,” Cody replies, her arms folded in front of her chest while she jumps down into a sitting position next to the box on the sofa. I look to Roxy for some help.
“Amber, open the damn box, and quit being so dramatic. I’ve still got to paint your face and Will is going to be here soon.”
I take a gulp of the pre-date Pinot that Roxy brought with her and untie the shiny, white bow. Inside, red satin fabric slips through my fingers, luxurious and soft. I reach for the card that’s tucked in the corner and read it:
I thought this might look beautiful if you were wearing it. Will x
I gulp down the rest of my Pinot, not caring that green sludge is going down with it. My eyes water of their own accord and I’m lost for words as Roxy and Cody hold up the long, deep red dress.
It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen.
* * *
“I don’t even look like me,” I tell Roxy, staring in the full-length mirror in my bedroom. My hair is in a partial up-do with long tendrils curling down over my breasts, which, in my n
ew underwear, look perky and full in the v neckline of the dress.
“You look like Megan Fox, but with better tits. Seriously, where have you been hiding those bad-boys? You’re a knock-out!” Roxy gives me a little power up hug which helps me to centre my nerves.
“I think I need to pee again,” I moan.
“Pee and then put these shoes on.” Roxy points to a pair of nude coloured heels. “I already put your lipstick in your clutch to retouch later. You’re all set.”
I hug Roxy again. “Thank you. You’re the best friend I ever had.”
I hear the door downstairs open and close along with Will’s deep mumblings so, I pee really quick, wash my hands, put on my shoes and go downstairs to the kitchen.
Will's standing with his back to me. I take a moment to admire the broad shoulders of his tux and the narrowing to his tight trousers rounding over his muscular…
Cody clears her throat and rolls her eyes at me. She definitely just caught me checking out her brother.
Will turns around, his eyes widen and his mouth falls open. I check behind me to see what startled him.
“Amber, you —um, hmm, you um, WOW.” He grins. His teeth sparkle and his dimples wink of their own accord. I look at my feet embarrassed. I feel like a kid playing dress-up.
Cody and Roxy beam at each other and Roxy nods toward the hall as their cue to leave.
Will strides over and takes my hand which has never felt so heavy. My pulse throbs throughout my whole body.
“I brought you something.” Will reaches into his jacket pocket.
“You already brought me the dress. Which I love, by the way, but you shouldn’t be wasting your money on me. I had something prepared,” I tell him.
There’s a grin fixed on his face that I can’t decipher, he looks so pleased.
“I didn’t want you to be out of pocket for agreeing to come with me. When I saw it, I knew only you could do a dress like that justice.” He fumbles in his pocket and I look down questioning, I’ve never noticed Will to look nervous.
