by Megan Curd
“No, I shouldn’t.”
“Ah. Okay.” He opened the door wide and gestured in, asking no other questions.
We went to his room, where Jamie was sprawled across his disgusting, faux leather couch. He’d “rescued” the thing from someone’s yard down the street this summer. Jamie couch surfed between friends’ houses, so tonight must be Reese’s turn. She was always staying with someone, as her house was usually empty and devoid of food. Bobbing her head, she kept time with the music we couldn’t hear. Pulling one ear bud out, she smiled. She was never very good with being sensitive to a situation. “Hey, Sis. How are you holding up?”
I shrugged. “Not great.”
Reese grabbed my hips and pulled us onto his full-sized bed. He was my best friend besides Jamie, but he thought it was more. It wasn’t. Today I didn’t have the energy to fight the blurred lines he’d created. He pulled me close, and I was thankful for the comfort he brought. “Let’s hear it,” he said.
“Remember Bounty Line Blood? The movie we snuck into last week?”
Reese laughed. “Yeah, we all do. It was crap.”
Jamie nodded. “Waste of eight bucks. At least the concessions guy was hot.”
“Jamie, you think any guy with two legs and a face is hot.”
Shaking my head at their rabbit trail conversation, I brought them back to earth. “Remember when the main guy pinned the runaway against a wall? Well, I pinned a guy against the ambulance exactly like that. The scene popped into my head, then out of nowhere I was doing it.”
Reese snorted. “Riiight. Was he a midget?”
“He was the size of Chris.”
Jamie sat up, tossing her iPod onto the nightstand made of three milk carton crates. Reese didn’t have the cleanest room, nor did he have the sort of furniture that anyone considered normal. “Woah, Ash. Chris is six-five. Are you sure you’re not exaggerating?”
“Pretty sure.”
Jamie eyed me carefully. Reese slapped me on the back. “Way to put that dude in his place! Too bad no one YouTubed it. We could have been the next big thing.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I wanted to do. Slam him into a vehicle to put him in his place and have it all over the Internet. The thing is, when Memaw started yelling at me about it, she said we had to talk. That I was ‘more’ than what I thought.”
Reese snorted. “Do you really believe anything that old bat says? How many times do you come over here and complain about the latest leprechaun story she’s told? How the McVean side is somehow related to King Arthur and she’s the last of a dying breed? Now’s probably not the best time to buy into her stories, Ash.”
I sighed as I nodded in agreement. His bias towards Memaw was only fueled by my complaints. I was pretty sure she’d never said a word to him that wasn’t kind. She reserved her comments for me alone. “She just seemed so weird today. Everything about today is wrong,” I began to tear up and looked down to avoid the embarrassment of them watching me cry. “This can’t be happening. Dad can’t be dead.”
“Ash, this probably isn’t the best time to ask you this, but what the heck is wrong with your eyes?” She hopped off the couch and stared at me with confusion.
“Nothing, why?”
“Your eyes aren’t naturally black, are they?”
I darted to the bathroom in search of a mirror, Reese and Jamie following behind. My stomach dropped to the floor. My true eye color was on a need to know basis, which meant only the family knew. Memaw had always said it was a bad omen to have black eyes. To keep her from quoting even more Irish folklore, I had taken to wearing every color of contacts available. “Oh, crap. Yeah, they are. I forgot to put my contacts in this morning with…with everything.”
Jamie was staring as though she’d never seen me properly before. She didn’t even flinch after hearing the obvious hesitation in my voice. “How long have your eyes been black like this?”
“Since forever.”
“You were born with black eyes?”
I shrugged. “Not sure, actually. I don’t remember anything before turning four and Mom has next to no pictures from before then. It’s weird but she blows it off, so we don’t talk about it.”
Jamie looked at me differently than she ever had before. She almost looked hungry. Her eyes roved over me with what felt like suspicion.
I tried to make a joke out of it to lighten the tension she’d created for no apparent reason. “I can go put some contacts in if it’d make you feel better.”
Reese’s mom interrupted our strange pow-wow in the bathroom, making us jump. “You guys want to find a room with a little more space?”
This overanalyzing of everything was out of control. It felt like I was just waiting on some serious calamity to strike. Well, besides Dad…I couldn’t bring myself to say the truth. It couldn’t be real. Could things possibly get any worse? For some reason, it felt like they could. “Sure, Mrs. Williams.”
She smiled. “Jamie, want to help me finish up the Christmas cookies in the kitchen? You guys are welcome to come have some before Reese and his dad demolish all of them.”
Reese grabbed my hand and tugged me back toward his room, while Jamie went with his mom. “We’ll be right there.”
She put her arm around Jamie as they disappeared down the hallway. “Don’t be long.”
He practically dragged me back to his room. As he shut the door, his face was all business. “Let me get this straight. You pulled a Karate Kid on the paramedic, your eyes are black, and you don’t know anything about the first few years you were alive?”
These people were beginning to give me a complex. “Sorry. I’m not on top of my life.”
His expression was grave. “You know what this means, don’t you?”
An icy feeling doused my insides. “What?”
He suddenly grinned. “You’re the freak I always knew you were! Now we can make a horror film and get rich.”
I punched him. “You’re a jerk, you know that?”
“Guilty as charged. But you know you love me.”
We smiled at one another. Looking around his room, I felt more at home here than across the street at my house. Maybe it was escaping from the necessity to deal with today. My stomach turned to lead as my thoughts returned to Dad. I choked on the tears that threatened to emerge. Reese wasn’t allowed to see this. “Reese, I don’t know what I’m gonna do without my dad.”
He pulled me into one of his signature bear hugs, the kind only a varsity football player could manage. “You know I’m here no matter what, right?”
“Yeah, I know. I appreciate it.”
“You mean the world to me.”
I buried my face into his shoulder. “You know you mean the world to me, too.”
“I’m serious, though. If we could make some money off of you…”
I grabbed the foam finger sitting on top of his overflowing trashcan and whacked him with it. He sprinted out of his room before he could receive a more respectable flogging and headed to the kitchen.
It was there we found a gigantic spread of food. Reese’s mom was always doing things like that; filling us up until we were about to burst. Tonight she had pulled out all the stops. She put her hand on my back, smiling sympathetically. “Ash, don’t you think you should go home for the evening? You know, after everything that’s happened? I’m sure your family needs you right now.”
Mrs. Williams was right, but there was no part of me that wanted to face what going home meant. I choked on my words, mumbling most of them unintelligibly. “No, I’m okay here. They’ll be there after dinner. I just need time.”
She nodded, going back to the countertops to wipe things down. “Alright then. Just make sure you don’t pull away from your family. They’re what you need the most right now. By the way, all the food is egg-free, so you should be good to go. I know you’re allergic to them.”
I blushed. Having an allergy to a ridiculously common food caused problems for everyone around me. I tried not to b
e embarrassed by the extra work she had to put in when I was around. “Thanks, Mrs. Williams. I appreciate it.”
We all sat down and had dinner together. They were merciful and allowed me to eat in silence. My phone had vibrated nonstop through the meal; no doubt Mom trying to call. I ignored it. After we’d finished the meal, Jamie smiled sympathetically at me. I was starting to feel like a charity case, and I knew better than to be here. Chris needed me right now and I’d just bailed on him. It was a pretty crummy move to come here, but I’d been selfish and wanted Reese to make things all right for at least a moment.
Jamie smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. It seemed she was finally taking in the day for herself. “Ash, the cookies are for you. You can take some home for your family, if you want. You might need something sweet for…you know…” She trailed off. She was never good with emotions.
“Thanks, Jamie. You’re awesome.”
She left to get the cookies from the counter, then began passing them out at the table. She handed me a Christmas tree, still smiling. Breaking off a large chunk, I popped it in my mouth. “You know, this isn’t half – ”
My tongue cut off the sentence halfway through. Suddenly my throat was too thick. Gagging, I fell to all fours on the way to the sink.
The room began to spin. Where had all the air gone? My lungs burned as I tried to breathe. What once were my hands had swollen to the size of small dinner plates. I looked up to find that Jamie’s eyes were full of shock. Suddenly, a look of comprehension swept across her face and she sprang to life. At that moment, I doubled over, succumbing to the heaves sweeping my body.
Reese began to yell. I couldn’t breathe. I was going to die.
There was a crushing blow against my back. A pair of arms appeared around my waist, thrusting up and into my stomach. Another pound crashed down between my shoulder blades. Why was I being beat to death from the inside and out? There was no way to figure out what was going on, why there was no air in my lungs. For a second the blows rescinded, leaving me weak and disoriented.
Reese was still yelling. “Jamie, where’s her EPI pen? Go get it! It should be in her bag in my room! We can stop the reaction if we use it in time!”
Jamie gave no response. In the absence of being shaken like a rag doll, I struggled to get back to my feet. Attempting to grasp the table for support, I slipped once more and pulled off the tablecloth on the way down. A sharp stab of pain reverberated through my skull as my head connected with the table. There was no time to breathe between the convulsions and vomiting.
The instinct to breathe fought with the fear taking over. Somewhere Reese screamed, “Dial 911!”
Whose foot did I have a hold of? Was it Jamie’s? No, it was Reese. He was yelling as he pointed and gave directions to his mom and Jamie. He was saying something to me now, but my pounding heart drowned him out. He raised his hand with what looked like an EPI pen, about to bring it down. Without warning, everything went black.
THREE
Spending three days in the hospital had not been on the to-do list. What had happened? One minute I was completely fine, having a normal conversation with friends. The next, I’m on the floor getting the Heimlich from Reese to no avail. Other than that, there was no recollection of the past two days.
When I woke up, Memaw was by the hospital bed muttering something in her native tongue, Gaelic. “Uh, hi,” I croaked, repositioning myself slightly. My head spun from the minor movement.
Memaw jumped. “Ashlyn! Oh, thank God, you’re alright.”
Tears wound down her weathered face and dripped off onto her hand that held mine. Shocked she was holding my hand, I pulled away without thinking. A small smile played across her lips in acknowledgement. “You’re all right. You really are a McVean, fighting through this. I didn’t know if Reese had gotten to you in time,” she shuddered. “I need to go get your mother. She’ll want to know you’re awake. Will you be okay?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. What happened, though?”
Memaw stopped short of the doorway, her hands going white from squeezing her cane so tight. She didn’t turn, but replied in a clipped tone. “There was egg residue in the cookies somehow. Mrs. Williams said she mixed cupcake batter in the bowl a few days earlier. She thinks that’s where it came from. She’s very upset with herself. You had an allergic reaction to the eggs, not to mention you needed six stitches in your head. You’re hard-headed, but not quite hard enough to beat the dinner table it seems.”
With that, she sighed and crossed herself like she always did when around me. You’d think she was in the presence of a demon or something. She leaned on her cane for support as she limped out of the room.
Chris found Jamie to be overwhelming without someone to temper her extreme buoyancy. We caught up while Memaw was away finding Mom. “Ash, Jamie’s been staying at the house. She’s driving everyone nuts. I don’t think anyone would miss her if my snake accidentally got loose tonight…”
I laughed. “I’m pretty sure someone would notice if she went missing, if nothing else because the world would be a much quieter place.”
“We’d all have more oxygen. It could be considered an act of humanity. I might even get the Nobel Peace Prize or something. Jamie nearly had a nervous breakdown while you were out. She started Googling your symptoms to make sure the doctors weren’t incompetent, irritating everyone within a twenty-room radius. The person next door had a rare South American disease according to her, when the doctors had confirmed it was a bad case of shingles. Dr. Jamie’s been on a warpath.”
I shook my head, stifling a laugh. “She’s my best friend. Give her a break.”
“Well, it’s crazy enough around the house without Jamie sleeping over all the time, jabbering away like a parrot. Mom’s mad at me right now.”
Grinning slightly, I rolled my eyes. “Mom’s mad at you? Her prince? What’d you do?”
He looked to the ground. “I kind of asked her if we should put Memaw in a nursing home, but she’s not hearing it. She says Dad wouldn’t want us to ship her off.”
“Woah. Why would you wanna put her in a nursing home?”
“Well, it’s been kind of weird. I’ve found Memaw in your shower three times since you’ve been out.”
“Wait, what? She was in my bathroom downstairs?”
“Yeah. I don’t know how she got down there; you know she’s bad with stairs. Mom couldn’t find her and she was freaking out, so I went down just because it was the only place we hadn’t looked. She was there. It was weird. She was all shocked when I found her and kept saying she didn’t know how she’d gotten there. It kind of worried me. She’s not that young, you know?”
Jamie interrupted our conversation with her arrival, her eyes swollen and rimmed with red. I felt horrible to have caused her carefree world to crash in on her, even if it was for just a moment. Chris looked at me and rolled his eyes as he got up and left the room. “I’ll leave you two to catch up.”
Chris shut the door as he walked out, leaving Jamie to rock on her heels awkwardly in the middle of the room.
“James, you look like crap. When’s the last time you slept?” I asked.
She looked at her watch and shrugged. “I don’t know. I was too worried to sleep.”
“Well go get some beauty rest. It’s gonna be okay. Your doctoring skills are superb according to Chris.”
She smiled. Looking away for a moment, she did a double take. “Do you really think anyone here in the hospital cares about your eye color? You’re way too self-conscious, girl,” she teased.
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, I just didn’t think you’d be worried about putting contacts in, considering the circumstances.”
She really needed to sleep if she thought I had put contacts in. “Sis, I haven’t worn contacts for two days. Comatose, remember?” I said jokingly while tapping my head, assuming she would laugh as well. She didn’t. Instead, she inched closer and for some reason seemed afraid.
&n
bsp; “Look in the mirror,” she commanded as she fished a small compact from her purse and handed it to me.
I took it from her with curiosity. Those eyes couldn’t be mine. Where there were only black irises before, they were now emerald green, like Memaw’s.
“Um, wow. Mom?”
Walking in from right outside the door, she must have been giving Jamie and me time to catch up. Her eyes were puffy and red; between Dad being gone and my trip to the ER, she must not have slept in a few days. “What’s wrong, hon?” she asked as she gently pulled the hair out of my face and placed it behind my ears.
“My eyes. Look at them.”
Taking her focus off the rat’s nest of hair and glancing at my eyes, her own bugged out of her head. “Emily! Come here!”
Although she hobbled in slowly, Memaw made it clear she was the matriarch of the family. No one could ever forget it, but she hip-checked Jamie on her way over anyway. Hovering inches above the bed, she placed her hands on either side of my face, holding it in place as though I might try to pull away.
Her face mimicked the shock that had been in Jamie’s a moment ago. She seemed uncertain as to what to think. Instead of betraying her usual confidence, she made a joke. “Well, apparently the eggs gave you a little color along with nearly killing you. Not a bad trade-off, if you ask me.”
Memaw could joke, but the worry on her face was evident. Realizing she had given herself away, her face once again became a hard mask. She knew something, and I needed to know what it was before leaving for Ireland.
FOUR
The nurses discharged me the next morning – Christmas Eve. At least the family wouldn’t be spending Christmas in the hospital. Jamie and Chris helped me out of the ridiculous wheelchair the staff had forced me to use to get outside, while Mom tried to convince us to stay home instead of making the trek to Ireland. Memaw agreed, vehemently confirming Mom’s worries. Jamie pouted behind them. Afraid to say anything, she decided to suffer in silence as our plans were torn apart.
