by Megan Curd
Liam wasn’t willing to listen. Instead, he cut me even deeper with his venomous words. “Don’t ever come near me again. I’ll kill you. Even if I die in the process, I’ll kill you.” He walked toward the stairs, picking the picture of the two of us off the floor and slamming it against the wall as he walked up the stairs. Glass tinkered across the floor. I’d lost the ability to breathe.
Reese was by my side. Sobbing, I leaned into him. For once, it didn’t seem like a bad idea to allow him to hold me. We sat there in silence as he let me cry myself to sleep in his arms.
TWENTY-ONE
I was broken in so many ways. I was an emotional wreck, not to mention the growing amount of stitches, broken bones, and bruises that had been piling up since before Christmas break. The worst was not physical. I could heal from that. The worst was what Liam was doing to me.
It had been three weeks since Liam broke up with me. Not a week after he began to see Krista, of all people. The feeling I got when forced to see them in class was unbearable. It was like being nauseated but unable to vomit. I just wanted to throw up, hoping to feel better, but knowing it wouldn’t help in the least. Seeing him wrap his arms around her reminded me how I felt had nothing to do with my stomach and everything to do with the gaping hole he’d left in my heart.
Reese had taken to being my own personal ray of sunshine in this black hole I had been pulled into. Memaw had come by a couple times to check in and see how I was doing. She posed as girls she’d seen around school to stay inconspicuous, but I still couldn’t function. It was just too soon for Liam to have moved on like that. Hadn’t he said he wanted me? Wanted to protect me?
And what did it mean now that he hated what he had sworn to protect? Would he be let out of what he had sworn to do? I didn’t think the Glaistig worked like that, not after living with Memaw all my life. They may be the good guys, but even good guys had rules to adhere to. I had the opportunity to voice all of these concerns as I walked out of Choir – a class I’d taken to appease Jamie.
A girl with bubblegum pink spiked hair was leaning against the wall outside the classroom. “I have a feeling you have a lot of questions.”
I didn’t even flinch. “Hey, Memaw.”
Reese came out after me, wrapping his arm around the girl. “Hey, Emily! You look good in this getup. Can I get a date? Ashlyn won’t go with me, so I thought maybe I could snag an older woman instead. You know, someone who’s had time to refine their tastes a bit. Realize what a catch someone like me really is.”
Against her will, Memaw laughed. “You know Reese, I think my tastes have refined enough over the years to not go the cradle snatching route. But I appreciate the compliment.”
Shaking my head, I pulled my scarf around my neck as we stepped out into the cold air. Although it was March, it was still cold. Winter was holding on tight this year.
We walked to McDonald’s to get food. The school had open campus lunches, which was the only reprieve I had from watching Krista hang on Liam like a chimpanzee. This was the only time I might have to get answers.
As we walked in, I saw Krista sitting on Liam’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck. She pulled him tighter after catching a glimpse of our crew. I knew she still thought he wanted me, and I agreed with her. There was no way he could be as happy with her as he seemed.
Almost as if he had read my mind, Reese whispered in my ear, “Liam isn’t happy at all. He’s just doing it to get back at you. He wants you to be jealous. If he’s happy, I’ll eat my boxers.” He nudged me after saying that, a grin playing across his face. “But, if you want to make him jealous, I’m always up for being used. You might find out you like me more than you thought.”
I shoved him away, fighting a smile. Still watching them, I wished it was possible to look away. I caught Liam looking my way. He immediately looked the opposite direction, throwing himself into whatever conversation he was having with Krista. When he laughed, his smile didn’t reach his eyes. That was a good sign for me, bad for Krista. I wondered if she even knew all the little things I knew about him.
Memaw broke into my frustrated thoughts. “Liam will come back. Let him act like a child. He’ll get bored with her. If he doesn’t, I feel bad for him. Tess will probably flay that girl within an inch of her life.”
I laughed. Reese and Memaw were good at putting me into a better mood.
As we sat down with our food, Reese cut through my semi-lifted spirits with an ability that was unrivaled. “So why hasn’t Liam gone back to Ireland? No offense, Ash, but I figured once he went all crazy, he’d leave to get away from you.”
I sat silent, too frustrated to say anything. Out of the corner of my eye I saw them talking to one another. Even that bothered me. I wanted to be the one he was talking to. He couldn’t be all that interested in Krista’s mindless banter. I squeezed my burger a little too tight, flattening the bun.
Memaw answered Reese’s question. “He can’t. He’s sworn to protect Ashlyn, so he has to stay close. If anything were to happen to her, he would die the moment she did. He cannot physically be away from her. They’re connected in a way no one else could ever be. It’s a curse, really. It’s not something they can simply walk away from. It’s a commitment that someone has to seriously believe in. Only those that truly care about a person would ever devote their lives to being a Protector.”
I knew she had added the end part to encourage me to be patient. I sighed and looked back at our table. Although Memaw was right, I couldn’t figure out how to make things go back to the way they were before Liam found out our secret. He hadn’t given me the time of day since the fight. I’d tried. Nothing had worked. It was eating me alive.
Reese shifted in his seat, leaning toward Memaw and lowering his voice. "Emily, is there any way I can take over as Ashlyn's Protector? I'd be more than happy to do it. You know I'd do a good job."
I sighed. "Reese, I told you the only way Liam is getting out of protecting me is if he dies. There's no way around it."
Reese didn't look my direction at all. Instead, he kept his eyes locked on Memaw. "Em, is that true?"
She looked down, her lips pressed in a thin line. She refused to confirm what I already knew. It was probably because she knew I'd break down if she verbalized it. I was thankful for her silence for once in my life.
Looking back toward Liam one last time as I popped in the last of the large fries we had shared, I saw the last thing I wanted to see. Krista went in for the kill. Not literally, but she shoved the rusty, serrated knife already tearing away at my insides even deeper. She kissed Liam.
I didn’t watch long enough to see if he returned the gesture. I wouldn’t have been able to handle that.
Knowing I was going to lose it, Reese grabbed me and half-dragged me out of McDonald’s and back toward the school, Memaw following close behind. “C’mon, Ash. Why don’t we go talk to Mary? Maybe she’ll have some advice.”
Memaw nodded. “That’s a good idea. Ashlyn, I’m going to go back to your mother’s to check on everyone before heading back to Ireland.”
That reminded me. “Memaw, have you talked to Chris lately?”
She continued walking in silence, the cars passing by in the slush the only sound. Reese had his arm around me, keeping me warm as we waited on Memaw’s response.
“I haven’t. But it’s not been for not trying.”
I nodded. “Yeah, since I came back from Ireland, he’s been really strange. He says he’s been busy, but every time I see him at lunch, he’s either alone, or with this one kid that wears all black. He looks creepy.”
Memaw didn’t respond for a minute. “I’m not sure, Ashlyn. I’ll talk to your mother about it before I head back to Cork.”
“Dude, you must spend a fortune in flight tickets,” Reese said, opening the door for Memaw into the school.
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I have a much more reliable and cheaper way to travel.”
Patting him on the back, she skipped down the hall, disappea
ring in the throng of students. Reese looked at me, completely nonplussed. “How the heck does she travel?”
I didn’t even want to guess.
* * *
After school, Reese and I went back to his place. Mary had complained about her workload for the weekend, so she was heading back to her house to get a head start on it. She still came over to my house like it was her own, but her parents had returned so she didn’t sleep over every night.
Arriving at Reese’s place, he stopped me in at the front door. “Let me, um, make sure my room is okay,” he said, letting go of my hand and disappearing up the stairs.
By okay, I knew he meant whether or not Liam was gone. I felt the usual pang of loss I had become acquainted with over the past few weeks. I looked everywhere except for down the hallway, just in case Liam came out. Moments later Reese bounded down the stairs, jumping over the banister at the bottom. Pulling me up the stairs, he extended his arms grandly as though he was inviting me into a five-star luxury hotel suite when we reached his door. The smell of boy wafted out of the room the second he opened the door. I shook my head, laughing. “We really need to invest in some Lysol for your room.”
Reese shook his head, looking disgusted. “This is a man’s room. I don’t want it smelling like Bath and Body works!”
“No, that would be tragic. We could go for a smell that meant you had bathed and emptied your trash in the past year or so, though.”
Reese sprawled out on his leather couch. I pulled a handful of fuzz out of the corner of one of the cushions and threw it at him. “You know this thing is awful. I think you need to put it out of its misery. It’s had a full life, I’m sure.”
Reese sat up. “Hey now, this couch has character. It’s leather, too.”
I snorted. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t real leather and if it ever was, it doesn’t qualify now.”
“Okay, I give you that,” he conceded. “It took four guys to haul this baby up the stairs, though, so it’s staying.” He leaned back again and lay on his back, gazing up at the ceiling where a poster of some model in a bathing suit had been taped.
“You guys are so weird.”
“We appreciate good art.”
“Or you’re just a male. Whichever one.”
Turning his head to look at me, I caught his wink. I shook my head and turned around to go to his desk where his chair was. The guys weren’t much for decorating, unless you felt taping countless posters of actresses, Scarface, and the newest video games coming out was in style. Then they were leading the way in décor.
Reese tried to be nonchalant, knowing how much it pained me to be here. “Did you ever get a TV to replace the one that my head went through?”
“Yeah, I did. Why?”
“Well, I kind of wanna play your Wii. If you have a decent TV now, that is.” He grabbed my leg and pulled me toward the couch so he could sit down again.
“Yeah, I do. Don’t make fun of my stuff if you want to play with it,” I laughed, kicking myself away from the couch and back toward the desk. Misjudging the strength needed, I erred on the side of strength and rolled past the desk and into the knees of Krista.
“Jeeze, watch where you’re going!” she said, rubbing her leg and looking at me scornfully. Her nose was wrinkled as though she smelled something unpleasant. It wasn’t too different from her face in general, though. It was usually screwed up in some disdainful expression. That wasn’t a look she reserved for just me. Everyone was lesser than Krista in her eyes. I’d love to tell her how the rest of us felt about her.
Standing up, I pushed the seat away and back toward Reese. I was a head taller than her, and I made sure she felt it right now. “Oh my fault, Krista, I didn’t see you there. I don’t usually look for rats.”
Krista opened her mouth, but Liam’s hand materialized on her shoulder. “Let’s go, Krista. This room’s full.” Without so much as another word, they wheeled out of the doorway and disappeared.
I spun around and smacked a bobble head off of Liam’s desk out of pure spite. It hit the wall above where Reese was still laying, head flying in one direction while the body went another.
“Hey now, no need to get violent,” Reese said, teasingly. “Let’s go to your place and play some video games. Maybe you can hack someone up real good or something. You know, stress relief where no one in real life gets maimed in the process. Everyone wins.”
In spite of myself, I smiled. Reese was good at that. “Alright, let’s go.”
* * *
Four hours later I had beaten Reese at every game I owned. He had lost all pride in himself and decided that he had to borrow my Wii to practice overnight. I obliged, allowing him to pack and haul everything over to his house. Before he left, though, he gave me a tiny peck on the cheek. “Keep your head up, Ash. It’s gonna be okay.”
Standing alone in my room after Reese had left, I felt empty. “Yeah, that’s what they all say,” I muttered to myself. I walked over to my computer just looking for something to fill the void that should be filled with time with Liam. I couldn’t afford to think about how tomorrow we would have been together for three months, but I did anyway. I shouldn’t be thinking about what he might be doing or where he might be, but I couldn’t help it. At least I knew he was alive, because as long as I was, he would be. That small piece of consolation allowed me to follow up on my emails with this unwanted free time.
Out of nowhere, the desire to try to talk to Liam became overwhelming. I grabbed my phone off the desk, finding his name in the contact list. Hesitating for a moment, I made myself “accidentally” press call. The line began to ring.
I’d tried to call him numerous times, trying to explain what had happened in the span of a thirty-second voicemail. He never responded. If he answered this time, I would make him listen. Make him understand. He had to at least know the truth, then decide what he wanted to do.
The phone stopped ringing. There was no voicemail message. A moment later, I heard his voice. “What do you want, Ashlyn?”
“Liam. You’ve got to listen to me. Just hear me out – ”
“No, Ashlyn, I don’t have to listen to you. Stop calling me. Stop texting. If I wanted to talk to you, I’d call you. There’s nothing to explain. You’re not who you said you were.”
Tears began to well up in my eyes. “You can’t be happy with her.”
There was a pronounced silence, and then he responded. “Krista hasn’t lied to me. You have.”
“That’s not the same as being happy. Just let me explain.”
“No. I’m with Krista. Leave me alone. Don’t call again.”
With that, he hung up.
Sitting there numb in at the desk, I tried to preoccupy myself with a game of solitaire. When that didn’t work, I fidgeted with my phone. After shooting off a couple texts to some friends in hopes of finding something to do, I went back to the computer.
As I went to log out of Skype, I saw that Tess was online. Steeling myself, I clicked to call her, hoping she would be willing to talk for a little while.
“Ashlyn? Are you alright?” Tess said immediately as she connected to the video chat.
Hearing her voice sent a wave to homesickness through me. I loved that woman almost as much as her son. She was like a second mother to me. She was also a friend and confidant. She was the one person that could understand my struggles better than anyone else. “Yeah, Tess, I’m fine. I just missed you,” I said, sadness ebbing into my voice.
I saw her pucker her lips in an apologetic manner, eyes crinkling in concern. It reminded me of Liam. It was amazing how much even that little resemblance reminded me of him. “Ah, Ash, you know I miss you too. I heard about what my son’s been up to. Do you want to talk about it?”
A single, silent tear wound its way down my cheek, splashing onto my keyboard. Contrary to what I thought I would want, suddenly there was no desire to talk about my fickle Protector. “Not really, Tess. I’m just not sure what to do. Nothing seems to matter to him
. Even when I call to explain, he won’t listen. He refuses to talk about it with anyone.”
I knew if Tess could have given me one of her bear hugs, she would have. “He’ll come around. There’s no doubt about it. We should probably tell him our side of things now. I know that’s hindsight of something we should have done long ago, but with Aiden being kidnapped and our condition…” she trailed off, hopeful that I would be able to see her side of things. Unfortunately, I could. If I were in her shoes, things probably would have played out the same way.
“No, I totally understand. Actually, I’d been thinking about something you mentioned when we were out in the fields behind your house with Memaw.”
Tess looked at me funny, trying to remember what she might have said. “What’s up?”
“Well, you said I could do things you couldn’t because of Memaw being my grandmother. That I could shift at will after practicing, right?”
“Yes. Apparently you’re getting it down quite well if you shifted back from Reese’s form quickly enough to diffuse the havoc Liam was wreaking in your room. By the way, how did you explain that to your mother?” Tess was smiling now, just imagining the fast-talking I’d have to do to get out of that mess. Of course Liam had been long gone by then. It had been all on me.
I smiled in spite of myself. “I told her Reese and a bunch of his friends had gotten into a full-contact Guitar Hero tournament. They’ve done it before and trashed their own rooms, so it wasn’t too far from what could have happened.”
Reese had come away from the Guitar Hero tournament with a sprained ankle and black eye after he had been playing with Liam. He had attempted to hurdle his couch to get back to the TV screen and misjudged the height, Liam clipping his legs in the process. For some reason I never thought Liam looked too sorry about that incident.
“Oh, nice cover up. I heard about that one. My son did a pretty good job of taking him out. I hope he healed quickly?”
