But he took her hand, and the contact thrilled her; her senses were giving way, and she almost tottered.
“What’s the matter?” he said. “Are you trembling?”
“I’m only a little cold.”
She was trying with all her might to speak naturally. Nothing came into her head to say.
“You’ve got nothing on,” he said. “You must wear my coat.”
He began to take it off.
“No,” she said, “then you’ll be cold.”
“Oh, no, I shan’t.”
What he was doing seemed to her a marvel of unselfish kindness. She was beside herself with gratitude.
“It’s awfully good of you, Edward,” she whispered, almost tearfully.
When he put it round her shoulders the touch of his hands made her lose the little self-control she had left. A curious spasm passed through her and she pressed herself closer to him; at the same time his hands sank down, dropping the cloak and encircled her waist. Then she surrendered herself entirely to his embrace and lifted up her face to his. He bent down and kissed her. The kiss was such utter rapture that she almost groaned. She could not tell if it was pain or pleasure. She flung her arms round his neck and drew him to her.
“What a fool I am,” she said at last, with something between a sob and a laugh.
She drew herself a little away, though not so violently as to make him withdraw the arm that so comfortably encircled her. But why did he say nothing? Why did he not swear he loved her? Why did he not ask what she was so willing to grant? She rested her head on his shoulder.
“Do you like me at all, Bertha?” he asked. “I’ve been wanting to ask you ever since you came home.”
“Can’t you see?” She was reassured; she understood that it was only timidity that clogged his tongue. “You’re so absurdly bashful.”
“You know who I am, Bertha; and—” he hesitated.
“And what?”
“And you’re Miss Ley of Court Leys, while I’m just one of your tenants with nothing whatever to my back.”
“I’ve got very little,” she said. “And if I had ten thousand a year my only wish would be to lay it at your feet.”
“Bertha, what d’you mean? Don’t be cruel to me. You know what I want—but—”
“Well, as far as I can make out,” she said, smiling, “you want me to propose to you.”
“Oh, Bertha, don’t laugh at me. I love you. I want to ask you to marry me. But I haven’t got anything to offer you, and I know I oughtn’t. Don’t be angry with me, Bertha.”
“But I love you with all my heart,” she cried. “I want no better husband. You can give me happiness, and I want nothing else in the world.”
Then he caught her again in his arms quite passionately and kissed her.
“Didn’t you see that I loved you?” she whispered.
“I thought perhaps you did; but I wasn’t sure, and I was afraid that you wouldn’t think me good enough.”
“I love you with all my heart. I never imagined it possible to love anyone as I love you. Oh, Eddie, you don’t know how happy you’ve made me.”
He kissed her again, and again she flung her arms around his neck. “Oughtn’t you to be going in?” he said at last. “What will Miss Ley think?”
“Oh, no—not yet,” she cried.
“How will you tell her? D’you think she’ll like me? She’ll try and make you give me up.”
“Oh, I’m sure she’ll love you. Besides, what does it matter if she doesn’t? She isn’t going to marry you.”
“She can take you abroad again, and then you may see someone you like better.”
“But I’m twenty-one tomorrow, Edward—didn’t you know? And I shall be my own mistress. I shan’t leave Blackstable till I’m your wife.”
They were walking slowly towards the house, whither he, in his anxiety lest she should stay out too long, had guided her steps. They went arm in arm, and Bertha enjoyed her happiness.
“Dr Ramsay is coming to luncheon tomorrow,” she said. “I shall tell them both that I’m going to be married to you.”
“He won’t like it,” said Craddock rather nervously.
“I’m sure I don’t care. If you like it and I like it the rest can think what they like.”
“I leave everything in your hands,” he said.
They had arrived at the portico, and Bertha looked at it doubtfully.
“I suppose I ought to go in,” she said, wishing Edward to persuade her to take one more turn in the garden.
“Yes, do,” he said. “I’m so afraid you’ll catch cold.”
It was charming of him to be so solicitous about her health, and of course he was right. Everything he did and said was right; for the moment Bertha forgot her wayward nature and wished suddenly to subject herself to his strong guidance. His very strength made her feel strangely weak.
“Good night, my beloved,” she whispered passionately.
She could not tear herself away from him; it was utter madness. Their kisses never ended.
“Good night!”
She watched him at last disappear into the darkness and finally shut the door behind her.
3
With old and young great sorrow is followed by a sleepless night, and with the old great joy is as disturbing; but youth, I suppose, finds happiness more natural and its rest is not disturbed by it. Bertha slept without dreams, and awaking, for the moment did not remember the occurrence of the previous day; but suddenly it came back to her, and she stretched herself with a sigh of great content. She lay in bed to contemplate her well-being. She could hardly realize that she had attained her dearest wish. God was very good and gave His creatures what they asked; without words, from the fullness of her heart she offered up thanks. It was quite extraordinary, after the maddening expectation, after the hopes and fears, the lover’s pains that are nearly pleasures, at last to be satisfied. She had now nothing more to desire, her happiness was complete. Ah, yes, indeed, God was very good!
Bertha thought of the two months she had spent at Blackstable. After the first excitement of getting into the house of her fathers she had settled down to the humdrum of country life. She spent the day wandering about the lanes or on the sea-shore watching the desolate sea. She read a great deal and looked forward to the ample time at her disposal to satisfy an immoderate desire for knowledge. She spent many hours looking at the books in the library, gathered mostly by her father, for it was only with falling fortunes that the family of Ley had taken to reading books; it had only applied itself to literature when it was too poor for any other pursuit. Bertha looked at the titles, receiving a certain thrill as she read over the great names of the past, and imagined the future delights that they would give her. Beside the vicar and his sister, Dr Ramsay, who was Bertha’s guardian, and his wife, she saw no one.
One day she was calling at the vicarage, and Edward Craddock, just returned from a short holiday, happened to be there. She had known him in days gone by; his father had been her father’s tenant, and he still farmed the same land, but for eight years they had not seen one another, and now Bertha hardly recognized him. She thought him, however, a good-looking fellow in his knickerbockers and thick stockings, and was not displeased when he came up to speak to her, asking if she remembered him. He sat down, and a certain pleasant odour of the farmyard was wafted over to Bertha, a mingled perfume of strong tobacco, of cattle and horses. She did not understand why it made her heart beat; but she inhaled it voluptuously, and her eyes glittered. He began to talk, and his voice sounded like music in her ears; he looked at her, and his eyes were rather large and grey; she found them highly sympathetic. He was clean-shaven, and his mouth was very attractive. She blushed and felt herself a fool. She took pains to be as charming as possible. She knew her own dark eyes were beautiful, and kept them fixed upon his. When at last he bade her good-bye and shook hands with her, she blushed again; she was extraordinarily troubled, and as, with his rising, the strong, masculine odou
r of the countryside again reached her nostrils, her head whirled. She was very glad Miss Ley was not there to see her.
She walked home in the darkness, trying to compose herself. She could think of nothing but Edward Craddock. She recalled the past, trying to bring back to her memory incidents of their old acquaintance. At night she dreamt of him, and she dreamt he kissed her.
She awoke thinking of Craddock, and felt it impossible to go through the day without seeing him. She thought of sending him an invitation to luncheon or tea, but hardly dared to; and she did not want Miss Ley to see him yet. Suddenly she thought of the farm; she would walk there, was it not hers? The god of Love was propitious, and in a field she saw him, directing some operation. She trembled at the sight, her heart beat very quickly; and when, seeing her, he came forward with a greeting, she turned red and then white in the most compromising fashion. But he was very handsome as with easy gait he sauntered up to the hedge; above all he was manly; the thought passed through Bertha that his strength must be quite herculean. She scarcely concealed her admiration.
“Oh, I didn’t know this was your farm,” she said, shaking hands. “I was just walking at random.”
“I should like to show you round, Miss Bertha.”
He opened the gate and took her to the sheds where he kept his carts, pointing out a couple of sturdy horses ploughing an adjacent field; he showed her his cattle and poked the pigs to let her admire their excellent condition; he gave her sugar for his hunter,9 and took her to the sheep, explaining everything while she listened spellbound. When with great pride Craddock showed her his machines and explained the use of the horse-tosser and the expense of the reaper, she thought that never in her life had she heard anything so enthralling. But above all Bertha wanted to see the house in which he lived.
“D’you mind giving me a glass of water?” she said. “I’m so thirsty.”
“Do come in,” he answered, opening the door.
He led her into a little parlour with an oilcloth on the floor. On the table, which took up the middle of the room, was a stamped red cloth; the chairs and the sofa, covered with worn old leather, were arranged with the greatest possible stiffness. On the chimney-piece, along with pipes and tobacco-jars, were bright china vases with rushes in them, and in the middle a marble clock.
“Oh, how pretty!” cried Bertha with enthusiasm. “You must feel very lonely here by yourself.”
“Oh, no. I’m always out. Shall I get you some milk? It’ll be better for you than water.”
But Bertha saw a napkin laid out on the table, a jug of beer and some bread and cheese.
“Have I been keeping you from your lunch?” she asked. “I’m so sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter at all; I just have a little snack at eleven.”
“Oh, may I have some too?” she cried. “I love bread and cheese, and I’m perfectly ravenous.”
They sat down opposite one another, seeing a great joke in the impromptu meal. The bread, which he cut in a great chunk, was delicious, and the beer, of course, was nectar. But afterwards, Bertha feared that Craddock must be thinking her rather queer.
“D’you think it’s very eccentric of me to come and lunch with you in this way?”
“I think it’s awfully good of you. Mr Ley often used to come and have a snack with my father.”
“Oh, did he?” said Bertha. Of course that made her proceeding quite natural. “But I really must go now,” she said. “I shall get in awful trouble with Aunt Polly.”
He begged her to take some flowers, and hastily cut a bunch of dahlias. She accepted them with embarrassing gratitude; and when they shook hands at parting her heart went pit-a-pat again in the most ridiculous fashion.
Miss Ley inquired from whom she had got her flowers.
“Oh,” said Bertha coolly. “I happened to meet one of the tenants and he gave them to me.”
“H’m,” murmured Miss Ley. “It would be more to the purpose if they paid their rent.”
Miss Ley presently left the room, and Bertha looked at the prim dahlias with a heart full of emotion. She gave a laugh.
“It’s no good trying to hide it from myself,” she thought, “I suppose I’m in love.”
She kissed the flowers and felt very glad. She evidently was in that condition, since by the night Bertha had made up her mind to marry Edward Craddock or die. She lost no time, for less than a month had passed, and their wedding-day was certainly in sight.
* * *
Miss Ley loathed all manifestations of feeling; Christmas, when everybody is supposed to take his neighbour to his bosom and harbour towards him a number of sentimental emotions, caused her such discomfort that she habitually buried herself for the time in some continental city where she knew no one and could escape the overbrimming of other people’s hearts, their compliments of the season, and their state of mind generally. Even in summer Miss Ley could not see a holly tree without a little shiver of disgust; her mind went immediately to the decorations of middle-class houses, the mistletoe hanging from a gas chandelier and the foolish old gentlemen who found amusement in kissing stray females. She was glad that Bertha had thought fit to refuse the display of enthusiasm from servants and impoverished tenants that, on the attainment of her majority, Dr Ramsay had wished to arrange; Miss Ley could imagine that the festivities possible on such an occasion, the handshaking, the making of good cheer and the obtrusive joviality of the country Englishman, might surpass even the tawdry celebrations of Yuletide. But Bertha fortunately detested such festivities as sincerely as did Miss Ley herself, and suggested to the persons concerned that they could not oblige her more than by taking no notice of an event that really did not seem to her very significant.
But her guardian’s heartiness could not be entirely restrained; he had a fine old English sense of fitness of things. He insisted on solemnly meeting Bertha to offer congratulations, a blessing, and some statement of his stewardship. Bertha came downstairs when Miss Ley was already eating breakfast, a very feminine breakfast consisting of nothing more substantial than a square inch of bacon and some dry toast. Miss Ley was really somewhat nervous, she was bothered by the necessity of referring to her niece’s birthday.
“That is one advantage of women,” she told herself, “after twenty-five they gloss over their birthdays like improprieties. A man is so impressed with his cleverness in having entered the world at all that the anniversary always interests him; and the foolish creature thinks it interests other people as well.”
But Bertha came into the room and kissed her.
“Good morning, dear,” said Miss Ley, and then, pouring out her niece’s coffee: “Our estimable cook has burnt the milk in honour of your majority; I trust she will not celebrate the occasion by getting drunk—at all events, till after dinner.”
“I hope Dr Ramsay won’t enthuse too vigorously,” replied Bertha, understanding Miss Ley’s feeling.
“Oh, my dear, I tremble at the prospect of his jollity. He’s a good man, I should think his principles were excellent, and I don’t suppose he’s more ignorant than most general practitioners, but his friendliness is sometimes painfully aggressive.”
But Bertha’s calm was merely external, her brain was in a whirl and her heart beat madly. She was full of impatience to declare her news. Bertha had some sense of dramatic effect, and looked forward a little to the scene when, the keys of her kingdom being handed over to her, she made the announcement that she had already chosen a king to rule by her side. She felt also that between herself and Miss Ley alone the necessary explanations would be awkward. Dr Ramsay’s outspoken bluffness made him easier to deal with; there is always a certain difficulty in conducting oneself with a person who ostentatiously believes that everyone should mind her own business, and who, whatever her thoughts, takes more pleasure in the concealment than in the expression of them. Bertha sent a note to Craddock, telling him to come at three o’clock to be introduced as the future lord and master of the Ley estate.
Dr
Ramsay arrived and burst at once into a prodigious stream of congratulation, partly jocose, partly grave and sentimental, but entirely distasteful to the fastidiousness of Miss Ley. Bertha’s guardian was a big, broad-shouldered man, with a mane of fair hair, now turning white, and Miss Ley vowed he was the last person upon this earth to wear mutton-chop whiskers; he was very red-cheeked, and by his size, joviality and florid complexion gave one an idea of unalterable health. With his shaven chin and his loud-voiced burliness he looked like a yeoman10 of the old school, before bad times and the spread of education had made the farmer a sort of cross between the city clerk and the Newmarket trainer.11 Dr Ramsay’s frock-coat and top-hat, notwithstanding the habit of many years, sat uneasily upon him with the air of Sunday clothes upon an agricultural labourer. Miss Ley, who liked to find absurd descriptions of people or hit upon an apt comparison, had never been able exactly to suit him, and that somewhat irritated her. In her eyes the only link that connected him with humanity was a certain love of antiquities, which had filled his house with old snuff-boxes, china and other precious things. Humanity Miss Ley took to be a small circle of persons, mostly feminine, middle-aged, unattached and of independent means, who travelled on the Continent, read good literature and abhorred the vast majority of their fellow-creatures, especially when these shrieked philanthropically, thrust their religion in your face, or cultivated their muscle with aggressive ardour.
Dr Ramsay ate his luncheon with a voracity that Miss Ley thought must be a source of satisfaction to his butcher. She asked politely after his wife, to whom she secretly objected for her meek submission to the doctor. Miss Ley made a practice of avoiding those women who had turned themselves into mere shadows of their husbands, more especially when their conversation was of household affairs; and Mrs Ramsay, except on Sundays, when her mind was turned to the clothes of the congregation, thought of nothing beyond her husband’s enormous appetite and the methods of subduing it.
Mrs Craddock Page 6
