She perked up at this and leaned forward. “What is it?”
“Jesus.”
She rolled her eyes and shifted in her chair. “Do not start that drivel with me. I’ve lived quite well without any religious nonsense touching me. I see no need for a religious crutch to support me.”
“Letty, money isn’t everything. I know from experience. It can buy you some good times and some comfort—for a while. But after that, it can also be a noose around your neck, a burden. What happens when it’s no longer there—when you have nothing else to turn to?”
“That isn’t going to happen,” she said in a smug, self-confident tone.
“Letty, I want to tell you a story. There was this man, see. He was a wealthy man and he had just about everything a guy could want. His house was full of things and his fields were full of crops. In fact, his harvest was so great that he couldn’t begin to get everything in the many barns he had for storage. So instead of sharing his good fortune and blessing others with what he’d been given, he chose instead to build a bigger barn.”
“That’s only prudent. A wise man, indeed,” Leticia responded.
Russell shook his head and tears came to his eyes. “No, Letty. He was greedy and selfish. He didn’t care that he could help anyone else. He thought only of himself and how he could continue to prosper.”
“Again, he was only being smart,” Leticia said. “He was storing up the things he would need for his comfort later.”
“Letty, that night the man’s soul was required of him. He died.” She looked taken aback but said nothing. “His money and stored goods could not keep him from facing the eventuality that we all have to face sooner or later—death. Letty, what will you do when that happens to you? What good will your wealth do you when you are the person lying on the sickbed, waiting to die?”
“My money will buy me a decent doctor and hospital, for one.”
Russell shook his head. “Letty, everyone has to die. It’s appointed to man to die once. But if you die without Jesus as your Savior, you’ll die a second death.”
“Listen to yourself. How ridiculous you sound. Second death. Yes, I realize everyone dies sooner or later.” She got to her feet. “I never said I would live forever.”
“But you can,” Russell said softly, his strength giving out. “With Jesus you can live forever.”
“I didn’t buy into this nonsense twelve years ago, and I’m certainly not buying into it now.”
Just then Russell’s door flew open. Ashley stood there, looking rather stunned. “I just heard some news. Apparently something terrible has happened in New York with the stock market. Some people have lost everything, and rumor has it several banks have collapsed. There are even reports that grown men threw themselves from the windows of their buildings and killed themselves.”
Russell watched the color drain from his daughter’s face. “Where’s the telegraph office?” she demanded. “Where’s a telephone? I have to talk to your brother.”
Ashley stood back as her mother rushed through the door. Russell thought Ashley looked quite alarmed. “Child, this isn’t that worrisome for us. We sold our stock, remember? We’ll be just fine.”
Ashley came to him and offered him a drink. “I know, but I just feel this sense of dread. Like the world has come to an end.”
“For some folks, it has,” he said softly. “But for others, it might just be the new beginning they’ve been waiting for.”
“What if Mother has lost all her money?”
Russell smiled. “Then maybe there will be hope for her too.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Three days later, Ashley stood with Natalie at her side while Leticia read the results of the stock market crash on her holdings.
“The news is more devastating than I could have imagined. Mathias says that we might well be ruined.” She looked up in disbelief. Her hand shook, causing the telegram to flutter.
Ashley thought of her brother Mathias and his work with the banks. What would this mean for him? “Does he say how this will affect his job?”
Her mother looked at her rather dumbly, then frowned. “I have no idea, and frankly, I don’t care. This isn’t about Mathias; it’s about the family fortune. We stand to lose everything.”
“I’m sure this will come around right,” Lavelle said, reaching out to gently touch her sister’s arm.
Leticia jerked away. “This is not going to come around right. The other telegrams from Mathias are just as bad. There were even runs on some banks. This is terrible. We must go to the bank and see what funds we can pull out.”
“Perhaps it wouldn’t be such a good idea to panic,” Lavelle stated. “After all, the crash happened several days ago.”
“Stupid hick town. If I’d stayed in Baltimore, I would have known about this. I might have been able to save my stocks, and then I wouldn’t be facing ruin. Mathias probably tried to reach me prior to this but simply couldn’t locate me.”
Ashley had no idea what to say. She couldn’t muster up a single ounce of sympathy for her mother. Over and over, the only words she could hear in her mind were the ones that spoke to Ethan being alive. Ashley still hadn’t figured out what she was going to do about that situation. She needed to talk to someone—to be counseled on how to go about searching for her husband.
Her mother’s ranting grew to a louder volume still. “None of you understand because you had nothing to begin with!”
Ashley thought of the money her grandfather had the lawyer deposit into the bank for her and Natalie. Were the funds still safe? She supposed she should talk to the lawyer. But on the other hand, her mother was partly right—they’d never had that much to begin with. If suddenly her money were all gone, Ashley knew she’d simply go back to work and continue to support them as best she could.
“Letty, you must calm down,” Lavelle insisted. “This isn’t going to do you any good.”
“I can’t calm down.” Leticia used the telegram like a fan. “This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”
The worst thing that ever happened to me was losing my husband, Ashley thought. But immediately that idea was canceled out. No, it is worse knowing that he is alive and thinks I am dead.
“Grandmother . . .” Natalie left Ashley’s side and went to Leticia. “We just need to pray. God will take care of us.”
Without warning the old woman slapped Natalie full across the face. The child instantly began to cry and ran to Ashley’s arms. Ashley was stupefied. “How dare you? She’s just a little girl.”
“Oh, Leticia, you shouldn’t have done that. She’s only trying to help,” Lavelle declared. “She’s right. We must pray and trust God to take care of us.”
“You and your stupid God nonsense. This is ridiculous. First Father and now all of you. God couldn’t care less about me. He’s proven that on more than one occasion.”
Ashley cringed and pulled her sobbing child closer. The words could have been her own, and they left a bitter taste in her mouth. Stroking Natalie’s head, she felt a deep offense and sense of protectiveness toward her child.
“I think you’d be wise to pack your things and move into a hotel,” Ashley said. Her tone caused both her mother and aunt to look at her. She pulled Natalie with her toward the stairs. “You are unwelcome here, Mother. Aunt Lavelle, please help Mother make other arrangements. You may visit Grandfather but only with my approval.”
Natalie cried all the way to her room, and it wasn’t until they were safely behind the closed doors of her daughter’s bedroom that Ashley, too, broke into tears. “I’m so sorry, baby. She should never have done that.” Ashley felt the pain of a lifetime wash over her.
“Why is she so mean and angry?” Natalie asked, sobering at her mother’s tears.
“I don’t know,” Ashley said as she sat down on the bed. She opened her arms to Natalie, who quickly fell into her mother’s lap. Ashley saw the angry red welt on her daughter’s cheek, the outline of her mother’s hand
print. She longed to go downstairs and pay her mother back in kind. Why should a little child have to suffer?
Natalie hugged her mother close. “I’m glad you’re sending her away. She isn’t nice and she makes Grandpa sad.” She straightened up and looked Ashley full in the face. “Everything has been hard since she came here. Maybe you and Grandmother are right. Maybe God doesn’t care.”
The words pierced Ashley’s heart. “No!” she exclaimed, not meaning to startle her child. “Your grandmother is wrong. God does care.”
“Do you really believe that, Mama?” Natalie searched her mother’s face. “I mean, God is letting Grandpa die and Grandmother’s lost all her money. Nothing good is happening to us . . . just bad stuff.”
Ashley thought of the news that her husband, Natalie’s father, was alive. He was out there somewhere living his life without them. Maybe he’d even remarried. After all, it’d been eleven years. The idea that Ethan might have a life without her hurt Ashley so badly she couldn’t even speak the words. So while it was good news, it was bad as well. Ashley certainly couldn’t tell Natalie about it and give her false hope, but there had to be something positive she could tell the child.
“Natalie, I don’t think our life is just bad stuff. Grandpa has given us this house and—” she looked toward the door and lowered her voice—“and a great deal of money. We will be just fine.”
“But if Grandmother lost all her money, couldn’t we lose all of ours?”
“I don’t know, but even if we do,” Ashley assured her, “God will take care of us.” For once, Ashley actually believed it. She felt a quickening in her spirit that gave her a lightness she’d not felt in years. “God gave you to me in the darkest hour of my life, Natalie.” She gently touched her daughter’s cheek. “I know God cares for us, or He would never have done such a wonderful thing.”
Natalie wrapped her arms around Ashley’s neck. “I’m so glad you think God cares for us. I think He does too. I guess I was just scared, but I know God is good.”
“Then don’t let your grandmother’s ugliness take away your hope and faith in Him. Grandmother’s acting out of fear. She doesn’t know how to trust God.”
Natalie pulled away and looked up with an expression of expectation. “Do you know how to trust God, Mama?”
Ashley smiled and nodded. “I think I’m learning.”
****
With her mother and Lavelle out of the house, Ashley went to sit with her grandfather. The old man slept fitfully, finally waking just a few minutes after Ashley took a seat beside him. The past few days had taken their toll on him, and Ashley knew it wouldn’t be long before he gave up the fight. His labored breathing seemed to echo throughout the room. Ashley found herself trying to breathe with him—for him.
“Ashley,” he murmured. Gone was any pretense of strength.
“Grandpa, I know the time is short,” she said, remembering what Pastor McGuire had said about needing to be open and honest with a dying person. “Grandpa, I love you. I love you so much. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”
“God—Ashley. God will be everything you need.”
“Grandpa, I want to believe that. I think God has been working on me.” Ashley thought she noted a hint of a smile on Grandpa’s lips as she continued. “Grandpa, Mother told me something very painful. She lied to Ethan and it set into motion an entire lifetime of sorrows. Ethan’s alive, but I don’t know where. He came home from the war—apparently there had been a mistake and he hadn’t died on the battlefield.”
“But that’s . . . good,” Grandpa gasped.
“Yes and no. Mother told Ethan I was dead. She told him I’d died in the influenza epidemic. He probably thought it made sense. After all, my letters stopped because I thought he was dead.”
“Oh, Ashley.”
“Grandpa, I want to forgive her, but she’s forever altered my life. I could have had a life with Ethan. He could have been there for Natalie—for me. I know it would have been difficult to find me here with you, but she could have at least told him I was alive.” She began to cry. “I can’t believe he’s out there somewhere. I can’t believe he’s alive but not a part of our lives here. How could she be so cruel? I hate her for what she’s done.
“And not only this thing with Ethan, but she slapped Natalie. She’s been vicious and cruel, seeking only her own benefit. She never shows concern for anyone but herself. I look at her and see such hardness—such ill will.”
“Give . . . to . . . God.”
Ashley nodded. “I want to, Grandpa. I want to give it all to God. I want to do the right thing and know Him for myself.”
This time Grandpa did smile. He closed his eyes, his breath rattling in his chest. “It’s . . . easy. Just . . . ask.”
“I remember what you told me before. Ask for forgiveness and ask Jesus to take over my life. I did that before I came in here, Grandpa. But even if I allow God to help me forgive Mother, how can I ever forget what she’s done? I might never find Ethan again.”
“God . . . has . . . a . . . plan.”
A shadow passed across the window. Ashley straightened. Perhaps her mother and aunt were returning. She wanted to bar the door and never let her mother back in the house, but she knew she had to allow it—at least until Grandpa was gone.
“You will pray for me, won’t you, Grandpa?” Ashley whispered as she looked back to where he lay.
Grandpa said nothing. His breathing slowed, his chest barely moving with each strained gasp. Ashley knew he was fading away—leaving her behind and going to his heavenly mansion, as one of those lovely church hymns spoke of.
Stroking his hand, she began to sing, remembering the words of that hymn. “ ‘My heavenly home is bright and fair; no pain nor death can enter there. Its glittering towers the sun outshine; that heavenly mansion shall be mine.’ ” Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her voice caught as she sang the chorus and Grandpa drew his final breath.
“ ‘I’m going home, I’m going home, I’m going home to die no more; to die no more, to die no more, I’m going home . . . to die no more.’ ”
She kissed his weathered cheek. “It’s all right, Grandpa. You go on home.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Ashley was relieved to find it was not her mother who had returned to the house but rather Natalie.
“Sweetie, I have something to tell you,” Ashley said as she met her daughter in the hallway.
“Is it about Grandpa?” Natalie asked, seeming to know.
“Yes. He’s gone.”
Natalie’s lower lip quivered. “I know it’s a good thing because Grandpa suffered so much, but it feels so bad here inside.”
Ashley pulled her into her arms and held her tight. “I know. It hurts me too. But you know what? Grandpa died a happy man. I told him that I’d turned to God and that made him very happy.”
Natalie nodded as she looked up. Tears glistened in her eyes. “That’s the best news Grandpa could have had. He just wanted to be sure he’d see you again.”
“I know. Look, I need a big favor from you.”
“What?”
Ashley gently held her daughter’s chin. “I need you to run and fetch Mr. Watson. We’ll need him here when Grandmother Murphy gets back. You tell him about Grandpa. He’ll also know to get the funeral home to come.”
“Sure, Mama,” Natalie said, straightening. “That’s an important job.”
“It sure is and one that only you can do for me. I can’t leave and do it myself because Aunt Lavelle and Grandmother Murphy might come back and I’ll have to tell them about Grandpa.”
Natalie nodded somberly, the weight of responsibility combined with great pride. “It’s Saturday. Will he be at his office or should I go to his house?”
“Hmm . . . start at the office, since it’s so close. Then go to his house if he’s not there. I think you should ride Penny,” her mother encouraged. “Mr. Watson’s house is clear on the other side of town, just off of Douglas.”
Ashley fretted that her mother and aunt would return before Mr. Watson had a chance to come and offer his support. She found herself uneasily praying.
“I know I just started turning to you, Lord. And I know I’ve brought more than my share to you already, but please just get Mr. Watson here before Mother and Lavelle return. I can’t bear to face them alone.”
With each passing moment, Ashley jumped at every sound. She set out to straighten the living room, knowing that as soon as word got out about Grandpa, people would start showing up to bring food and offer comfort to the family.
When a knock sounded at the front door, Ashley nearly came undone. She hurried to see who had come and found a stranger. The stocky man lifted his hat in greeting. There was something vaguely familiar about him, but Ashley was uncertain where she might have seen him.
“May I help you?”
“I hope so. You are Mrs. Reynolds, are you not?”
Ashley felt an uneasiness come over her. “Yes.”
“And you have a little girl. I believe her name is Natalie.”
It was then that Ashley remembered the man. He’d been following Natalie on the street. “Who are you and what do you want?”
“I’d just like to talk to you about your husband, Ethan Reynolds—about his war efforts and his death. See, I’m putting together a book . . .”
“I have no time for this,” Ashley declared. “We’ve just had a loss in the family. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” She started to close the door, then pulled it back open. “Oh, and leave my child alone. I’ve seen you following her and if I see you again, I’ll contact the police.”
She closed the door and leaned against it momentarily. How could she tell this man anything about Ethan? She didn’t know anything. Didn’t know where he was or why he was alive instead of dead as the army had told her. Tears streamed down her face. “I can’t help you, mister. I can’t even help myself.”
[Desert Roses 02] - Across the Years Page 20
