“Well . . . I . . .” Leticia shook her head. “I find this highly unexpected.”
“I don’t need answers today, Mrs. Murphy. I just want you to consider everything I’ve said, including the fact that I want your forgiveness. I brought you out here because I wasn’t sure we’d have another chance to talk alone before you headed home this evening. Just think on my words, and when you feel confident of an answer from your heart, then let me know.”
He maneuvered the car back onto the road, not even waiting for the older woman to answer him. He thought long and hard about the way their conversation had gone. He’d done his best, and even though there was some anger in his words, over all, Ethan felt he’d managed the situation quite well. He could only pray that Leticia would come around to seeing things their way.
****
Later that evening, Ethan, Ashley, and Natalie stood on the depot platform bidding Leticia good-bye. It was a stilted and awkward moment for all three. Natalie was still very apprehensive of her grandmother, and Ashley had no idea what to make of her mother’s attitude. Ever since that day in the kitchen, she seemed less harsh but more reserved. Maybe God was truly doing a work in her heart. Ashley could only pray that it was true.
“Please let my brothers know where I am,” she told her mother as the conductor called the final board. She was relieved to have finally learned that her brothers had all married and were raising families. Mathias had two boys, Richard had three boys and a girl, and Parker had two girls and his wife was expecting. There was an entire family out there that Ashley had no knowledge of.
“I will,” her mother promised. “I’m sure they’ll be pleased to know. They’ve never understood what happened.”
“Perhaps it’s time to tell them,” Ashley replied.
“Perhaps.” Her mother’s words were thoughtful. She looked at the train car and drew a deep breath. “Mr. Reynolds, Natalie, I am glad for the opportunity to have met you both. In future visits, I shall look forward to getting to know you better.” She met Ethan’s gaze, and Ashley thought that something unspoken was exchanged between them.
Ashley lowered her face and smiled. It wasn’t much in the realm of an apology or pledge of love, but for her mother, Ashley knew it was the best she could offer. And because of how God had dealt with her own heart of late, Ashley knew that for now, it was enough.
Leticia moved toward the train, and Ashley followed her while Ethan and Natalie remained behind.
“Mother, I’m glad you came to be with Grandpa. I know it meant the world to him.”
“He would have liked it better had I told him everything he wanted to hear,” Leticia replied. “But I’ve never been given over to religious nonsense, and I’m still not convinced it has any place in my life.”
Ashley nodded. “I know. But I also know how Grandpa was about planting seeds.” She smiled. “After all, he found a way to cultivate a little hope in my heart. I’m sure he was able to manage at least that much with you.”
Leticia lifted her chin and looked down her nose at Ashley. It was a look Ashley would always remember her mother for, as long as they lived. “Perhaps.” Then quickly changing the subject, Leticia added, “I will see you in the spring. Perhaps for your new resort opening.”
Ashley nodded. “It’s scheduled for May, which around here is already summer, but you’re more than welcome to come. Just let us know.”
“Of course, it will depend on the financial status of the country and of my own personal estate. But if things do come together in proper order, maybe your brothers and their families will accompany me.”
Ashley smiled. “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”
Leticia said nothing more. She allowed the porter to assist her onto the train, then stood at the top and turned only momentarily. She exchanged a glance with Ashley, offered the tiniest of waves, then disappeared into the interior.
Ashley thought of how different this departure had been from Aunt Lavelle’s. Lavelle had hugged and kissed Ashley with great affection. Leticia hadn’t offered a single touch. Ashley felt sad for her mother’s isolation. It was the first time she’d had that feeling rather than a sense of her mother getting what she deserved. Smiling to herself, she pulled her jacket close and turned back to her family. The healing had truly begun.
“Let’s go home,” she said softly.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
After sharing a sumptuous Thanksgiving meal with Pastor McGuire and his wife, Ashley and Ethan settled down in front of the fireplace, determined to talk about their future. Natalie stretched out on the floor at their feet and worked on a small weaving loom, making potholders for her mother.
Ethan had been waiting for this moment ever since Ashley suggested it. Thanksgiving seemed a good time to share their hopes for the future, and while Ethan was still uncertain as to what Ashley and Natalie wanted from him, he knew very well what he hoped for.
Clearing his throat nervously, Ethan picked lint off his navy blue suit coat, then looked down at his daughter. She was staring up at him—watching, waiting. She knew he wanted to talk to them, but Ethan wasn’t at all sure what her response would be. He’d tried hard to get her to talk to him prior to this, but she wouldn’t. She’d even stopped coming to the hotel where he was working.
“I suppose,” he began rather awkwardly, “that you both know how important this is to me. How important you are to me.”
Neither one said a word, making it all that much harder for Ethan. “I know we’re strangers in many ways. We’ve spent some time together and . . . well . . . we know each other a little better than when we first met.” He was making a mess of things. There just didn’t seem to be words for what he wanted to convey.
How did he tell his wife and daughter that he loved them, despite the years that had separated them? How did he explain that his life would be very empty if he had to go back to living without them?
“When is the hotel scheduled to be completed?” Ashley asked.
Her soft words brought Ethan out of his thoughts. “December fifteenth is when the exterior and structure should be finished. Then we’re faced with a great deal of interior work. They plan to open in May, as scheduled, in spite of the stock market problems and issues of money loss. The railroad isn’t doing too badly, and they believe the money they’re still putting into this creation is money and time well spent,” Ethan replied.
“So what are your plans? Do you intend to see it through?”
“I’d like to,” Ethan replied. “I’ve enjoyed working for the Harvey Company.”
“As have I,” Ashley stated. “In fact, I intend to start back to work as soon as possible. The Christmas season is always busy, what with folks traveling all over the countryside to be with loved ones. They’ll need my help.”
“But you don’t have to work. I’ll help with the expenses and—”
Ashley held up her hand. “No. I have plenty of money. At least for now. I plan to go to work because I like it, and I don’t like sitting around here with nothing but my memories. Natalie will be in school all day, and that’s when I shall work. They’ll allow that schedule because I’m one of their best Harvey Girls,” she said, smiling.
“Mama really is,” Natalie added, as if Ethan needed convincing.
Ethan nodded. “I’m quite sure she puts them all to shame.”
Natalie smiled and went back to her weaving. Ethan looked at Ashley and tried to regain control of what he had planned to say. There seemed no other way to open the discussion but to simply put his thoughts out there for everyone’s scrutiny.
“I’d like for us to be a family.”
Natalie and Ashley both looked at him. They seemed quite content to await his explanation on the matter. Ethan felt as if the tie around his neck were tightening. Lord, don’t let me make a mess of this.
“I know we have a ways to go in getting to know each other, but I already love you both,” Ethan said, feeling embarrassed by the words. He’d never been gi
ven over to his emotions—at least not like this. But then again, he’d never had so much at stake.
“The years that separated us weren’t of our own doing—not entirely. We can’t change what happened back then, but we can change what happens from this point on.”
“I think we all want the same thing,” Ashley said, smiling.
Ethan saw the love in her eyes and knew deep within his heart that she did indeed desire the same thing he did. Glancing at Natalie, he saw her expression was pretty much unreadable.
“I’d like to set up a design firm here in Winslow if you’re both of a mind to go on living here. If not, we can easily move elsewhere. I like it here, though. The people are pleasant and good-natured, and the desert is beautiful in its own way. Still, I’ll happily go to the ends of the earth if it means we can be a family.”
He didn’t see any change in his daughter’s face. He’d so hoped she’d at least smile or give him some sign that his words met with her approval. “I’d like to teach you everything I know about drawing and design,” he said to Natalie. “You are very talented and I see great promise. I believe with dedication to your dream of becoming an architect, you and I could one day have the best father-daughter team around.”
Natalie perked up at this and sat up. “Would we have an office and everything? Would I have my own drawing table?”
Ethan chuckled. “Absolutely. You’d have whatever you needed to make you the very best architect.”
“That would be the bee’s knees,” Natalie declared.
“Natalie, where in the world did you pick up that expression?” Ashley questioned.
Natalie laughed. “Jane says it all the time and so do my other friends.” She glanced at the clock and gathered up her things. “I need to go give Penny her treat.”
“Don’t be long,” Ashley said. “We’ve still got a lot to talk about.”
Natalie nodded and slipped away, humming. Ashley turned to Ethan, her eyes wide with question. He wanted to lose himself in her dark-eyed gaze.
“Ashley, I know I’m not the same man you married. I don’t even look like that man,” Ethan said, stroking his well-trimmed beard. “I’m still going to struggle from time to time with nightmares from the war—and while my walk with God is growing stronger, it’s still very young.”
“As is mine,” Ashley said, reaching out to take hold of his hand. “But at least we can share that walk.”
Ethan turned toward her and gripped her hand tightly. “Ashley, I want a new life for us. I want to court you again—this time without the desperation of war looming over us, making us act irresponsibly and hastily.”
“Do you regret our haste?” she asked, frowning.
“No, of course not. I wouldn’t trade the time we had together for all the architectural jobs in the world. I loved you dearly, as I do now. That will only grow stronger with time.”
“I love you as well,” she whispered. “I never stopped. People thought me troubled because I refused to remarry or consider anyone else. But there was a part of me that couldn’t let go of you—even across the years.”
He nodded knowingly. “It was the same for me. I knew I couldn’t bring you back from the dead, and yet you were all I wanted.”
“I felt the same way,” Ashley assured him.
“I want us to remarry,” he said, surprising himself. “But only after we have time to get to know each other again and to help Natalie adjust. There’s no need to rush this time. There’s no war—no family working against us.”
“I’d like that very much,” Ashley said, leaning closer. She reached up and gently touched his bearded cheek. “I’ve dreamed of this moment for so many years. I’d cry for joy because you had come back to me. Then I’d wake up and cry in sorrow because I saw the truth of it in the morning light.”
Ethan pressed her hand against his face and held it there. “You were all that kept me alive on the battlefield. I would think of you and know that I had to go on—that I had to come back. Then when I was wounded, I held on to your image and my faith that God would bring us back together.”
His chest tightened and he reached out and pulled Ashley into his arms. “I cannot tell you, nor do I need to, how much it hurt to think you dead.”
“I know. I know exactly.”
Their faces were only inches apart, and Ethan knew he would kiss her. He only hoped that she desired it as much as he did. He leaned closer.
“Ashley?” He spoke her name as a question. He wanted permission to kiss her.
She closed the distance between them and for the first time in eleven years, they shared a kiss. The longing in Ethan’s heart threatened to smother out all other thought. He pulled her closer, held her tighter. I don’t want this to ever end, he thought.
Ashley gave herself completely—deepening their kiss, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. Ethan had never known such joy and peace. He finally pulled back just a bit and saw the tears that streamed down her face. The sight shocked him, and he let go of her rather abruptly.
“You’re crying.”
She opened her eyes and smiled. “For the joy of this moment. For the way I still feel when you touch me. For the promise of our new future together.”
He gently touched her wet cheek. “I’ve never known happiness until this moment. The past no longer seems important.”
“I was reading something in the Bible. It was in the forty-third chapter of Isaiah. It said, ‘Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.’ This is God’s ‘new thing,’ ” Ashley said softly. “I see that now. We don’t need to remember the former things. They’re gone. We can’t reclaim the years we’ve lost or make my mother take back her words that so damaged us both. But we can look to the new thing God is doing.”
Ethan murmured her words. “A river in the desert. How appropriate that seems.”
“I thought so too. Ethan, I’m not the same girl you married in 1918. Just as your appearance is altered, so is mine. And just as the nightmares and scars of the past have damaged and wounded your heart, so my heart has suffered as well.
“We aren’t children anymore. We can’t be wild and impetuous. We can’t run away from the world and hope it will never find us. I’m willing, however, to risk my heart with you. I want to move forward and trust God for His new creation in our lives. I will court you and I will remarry you, for I have no intention of ever letting anything come between us again. Not people or wars or time.”
Ethan hugged her close and knew she could probably hear the wild beating of his heart. It didn’t matter. They were together. They were home.
Ethan heard the back door open and close but remained where he was. Natalie came back into the room, pausing momentarily by the door. Ethan looked over Ashley’s shoulder at his daughter, wondering if he’d see resentment on her face.
“Do I get a hug too?” she asked, looking as though she felt left out.
Ethan grinned. “You can have as many hugs as you want.” He opened his arms to her and Natalie rushed to join them. She giggled as Ethan pulled her tight, smashing her between him and her mother.
Ethan knew the time had come to press his question. “Natalie, will you let me be your new daddy?”
She pulled back and shook her head. “No.”
Ethan felt stricken, her stern expression forever frozen in his memory. He looked at Ashley, who appeared just as surprised as he was.
“I don’t need a new daddy,” Natalie said. “I’ve already got a real good one.” She smiled and added, “I just want you for my forever daddy.”
Ethan felt the tears come to his eyes, but he didn’t try to hide them. “I’d like that too, Natalie.” He buried his face against her neck and let the tears come. He felt Ashley and Natalie both tighten their hold on him. They were his again. As they had always been.
God had made
rivers in the desert—streams of joy running through his dry and weary heart.
EPILOGUE
MAY 15, 1930
Ashley allowed Ethan to conduct her on a private tour of the newest of Fred Harvey’s resort hotels. La Posada—the resting place—was a marvel of Spanish and Mediterranean flavoring. Surrounded by orchards and gardens, it rose up to look as though it truly had been there for years and years. Ashley almost expected to see some grand Spanish don stroll across the stone walkway to introduce himself and welcome them to his home.
“This wishing well,” Ethan explained, taking her to an ornate wrought-iron creation, “was brought from Mexico.”
“It’s lovely,” she said, completely impressed with the well and the expanse of lawn that surrounded it.
Ethan handed her a penny. “Make a wish.”
She fingered the coin for a moment, then pressed it back into his hand. “I don’t need to. They’ve all come true.”
He held her gaze for a moment, then nodded and slipped the penny back into his pocket. “Guess we won’t make too many walks back here.”
She laughed. “Well, at least not for a while.”
They pressed on, strolling the grounds as though this were their own private hacienda.
“Miss Colter tells me she received an amusing telegram this morning,” Ethan said as they moved at a leisurely pace toward the doors. “It came from one of the railway officials. It offered congratulations, then stated that they hoped the income exceeds the estimates as much as the building costs did.”
Ashley laughed. “They certainly went lavish and lovely for this resort. I can just imagine the people who will come here and the happiness they’ll find in such a setting. It’s truly more than I could have ever imagined.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” Ethan replied. “I’m just glad it’s completed. I’ve never been involved in such an ambitious affair, but I wouldn’t have traded the experience for all the world. Miss Colter does remarkable work. Her visions are most incredible. When she first brought me here and showed me this sunken piece of land, I couldn’t begin to imagine her dream. Then she started hauling in dirt and the construction company came in to work, and before I knew it the walls were up and the stucco was spread and all the rooms were finished.”
[Desert Roses 02] - Across the Years Page 28
