by Holly Renee
No Regrets
Brooke
I hadn’t had this much fun in forever.
We rode every ride we came across, and Liam bought me every snack we passed. I was on a sugar high, but that didn’t stop me from eating the pink cotton candy he held out to me.
The sun was falling behind the mountains and the bright lights of the fair were lighting up the sky.
We were sitting at a small picnic table, taking a break as I stuffed the cotton candy in my mouth, and I was watching this little boy try over and over to win a giant stuffed teddy bear.
He was cute. Probably about seven. His light brown hair was pushed to the side out of his face, and his little face was scrunched in concentration as he threw the football again and missed.
I was pretty positive the game was rigged. The small tire that hung from the rope had the smallest damn opening in the center, and no matter how close he got, the dang ball didn’t even consider going through it.
I tore off another piece of cotton candy and watched him. His poor mama had probably already spent twenty dollars on missed throws. I didn’t even notice that Liam had got up from our table, not until he was standing beside the boy with a twenty in his hand.
The person behind the stand took his money and put three footballs down in front of him. Liam didn’t talk to the little boy and the little boy didn’t talk to him, but he was watching him. He watched every step Liam made as he grabbed the football in his hands and lined up his body for the throw.
The first ball hit the center of the tire, but ricocheted off the rubber and landed at the feet of the fair employee. The little boy moved a bit closer to get a better view.
Liam threw it again, this time the ball went directly through the hole. A bunch of little sirens went off and lights within the booth started flashing. The employee smiled and grabbed a teddy bear as big as Liam off a hook. Liam took the bear and set it down at his feet. He still had a ball left.
The boy was staring at his bear, and I couldn’t believe that Liam didn’t notice him. He could have given him the dang bear and saved his mama the money, but he didn’t. He tossed the football in his hands and stared at the tire.
I tore off another piece of cotton candy and stuffed it in my mouth.
Liam looked down at the boy then, and they seemed to study each other while Liam continued to toss the ball. Up and down. Up and down. He nodded his head, motioning in his direction, and the boy took a step closer to him as Liam crouched down.
“What is he doing?” I asked out loud, and I almost forgot that Sophie and Jase were still at the table until one of them answered.
“It looks like he’s giving him a lesson.”
I looked over at Jase, and he too was watching his friend.
I couldn’t tell what Liam was saying, but the boy kept nodding his head like he understood him. Liam stood and handed the boy the ball. He motioned to his legs, showing the boy how to widen his stance and he followed Liam’s every move.
The boy lined up to throw the ball, but Liam stopped him again. He cocked his arm back as if he was getting ready to throw then showed him how to do the same.
This time when the boy threw the ball it almost went in. When it hit the ground, you could see the devastation on his face, but Liam wasn’t having any of it. He helped line him back up and grabbed another football for him to throw.
They threw five more balls before one finally went in.
The boy lit up as the booth did the same, and he high-fived Liam with the biggest grin on his face as the employee handed him a matching teddy bear as Liam’s. His mom was grinning at them both, and if I couldn’t see the pure relief in her eyes, I might have been worried about the way she grabbed Liam’s arm and pulled him in a hug.
Liam tousled the boy’s hair before grabbing the giant teddy bear and making his way over to us. He had the biggest grin on his face as he made his way toward us, but he tried to hide it.
He held the teddy bear under his arm, but as soon as he stood in front of me, he held it in my direction.
“You win that for me?” I licked some stickiness off my thumb and he watched every second of it.
“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” He reached up and ran his thumb over my bottom lip before setting the giant teddy bear beside me. It was as tall as I was and doubly as round.
Liam squeezed in on the other side of me before snatching some cotton candy out of my hand.
“That was sweet.” I nodded toward where the boy and his mom were walking.
“What was?” He acted as if he had no idea what I was talking about, but he knew.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Helping that boy.”
“It was nothing.” He shrugged his shoulders then ignored the conversation altogether. He started talking to Jase about who only knows what, but all I could think about was that boy. It wasn’t nothing. Liam was so different than I thought he was. This entire trip had shown me that.
He wasn’t some asshole with a chip on his shoulder.
I mean, sure, he could be one, but it all seemed like nothing but a show now. A way to keep others from knowing the truth. I guess we were similar in that way.
He was who he was because he had his heart broken by a girl he thought he was going to love for the rest of his life. I was who I was because the one girl who was meant to love me my entire life was more interested in the men she brought home.
We were so damn different, but somehow I felt like I could still understand him.
I had spent the majority of my life not being good enough.
He had spent his being the star.
My family was broken.
His family was incredible but expected so much from him.
I didn’t think he realized how lucky he was.
Even though I should have hated him for taking those things for granted, I didn’t. It just made me want to get to know him even more. I wanted to know every little secret he kept from everyone else. I wanted to know exactly what he wanted out of life.
Because from my eyes, he had it all.
An amazing business? Check.
A loving family? Check.
Damn good looks? Double check.
The only thing Liam lacked was the girl, and even though Katie seemed like she was perfect on the outside, I couldn’t believe that she was ever right for him.
But I wasn’t right for him either.
I was just the girl who was good enough to fake it with him.
He traced his finger over my thigh as he talked to Jase. I wasn’t even sure if he knew he was doing it, he seemed so lost in conversation, but I knew.
I tracked every single inch his fingers touched, and I held my breath when they stopped and went the opposite direction.
I was the girl who noticed everything about him, and I wasn’t even sure if he knew I was there.
He looked over at me as soon as the thought ran through my head, but I had no idea what he was thinking. His face was as unreadable as always. He was just looking at me with this damn look that could have meant anything.
“You want to ride the Ferris wheel?” His fingers were still trailing over my skin aimlessly.
“Yeah.” But I didn’t want to move an inch. I didn’t want him to stop touching me or looking at me regardless of what it meant.
But he had other plans. He stood, reaching his hand out for me, and I slipped my hand in his and let him lead the way. There was nobody there that I knew besides us, Sophie, and Jase but he still held my hand as we walked toward the giant lit up Ferris wheel.
I could lie to myself and pretend like he was doing it just because he wanted to, but the cold hard reality was that Liam brought me here for a reason. That reason didn’t involve my overly wishful thinking or holding hands because he liked the feel of mine in his.
He knew that anyone could see us out here, and we were meant to be dating. Everyone here thought we were more than what we were.
But as much as I repeated
those words inside my head, it still didn’t feel like it.
He continued to hold my hand as we stood in line, and he didn’t let go until it was our turn to climb on.
He climbed in on one side, putting the bear on the other before he patted the seat between them. I squeezed against him, our sides touching from shoulder to knee, and I tried to not think about how warm he was or how good he smelled as the latch came down across our laps.
The Ferris wheel moved slowly, starting and stopping as more riders got on, and Liam was silent next to me for a long time. It felt awkward, and I hated it. I hadn’t felt this way with him basically since we had been in Tennessee, but tonight felt different. Without putting on a show, I didn’t know how to act. I didn’t know what he wanted from me.
And I hated it.
When it came to Liam, I needed clear expectations. Without them, I was just another girl who was going to want more from him than he was willing to give.
We were at the very top with a clear view for miles when Liam reached into his pocket and made the damn thing shake.
“What are you doing?” I held on to the side for dear life.
“Getting this.” He pulled a flask out of his pocket and unscrewed the lid before putting it to his lips.
“Are you allowed to have that in here?” I took the flask from his hand and looked around as if someone might catch us way up here in the sky.
“No, but we just can’t get caught.” He looked so innocent in that moment. He looked like he was nothing more than a boy with a proclivity for trouble, and he made it easy to feel like I was nothing but a girl who was willing to get in it with him.
I took a sip of the strong liquor and wiped my mouth. It burned like hell going down, but I wasn’t going to let him know that.
“I bet you can do no wrong in this town.”
He smiled at me and took another sip from the flask. “Once upon a time that was true, but I think I’ve lost my edge.”
He handed the drink back to me, and I took it just as the Ferris wheel started to really move. We were spinning around toward the ground then back to the sky, and I couldn’t look at anything but him. “I don’t think you’ve lost anything. The women in this town have been clamoring for your attention since you got here.”
“I’m not interested in any of the women in this town.” He said it so nonchalantly like it was the simplest statement, but it wasn’t simple.
Regardless of what I knew to be true, it made me feel like he wasn’t interested in them because he was somehow interested in me, and even though I knew we were fake and I knew everything would eventually go back to normal, I let the alcohol flow through my system and I pressed the flask to my lips once more.
Liam made it easy to pretend to be something I wasn’t. He made it easy to pretend that I could be his if only for one night.
I was drunk on the feeling of him, of this night. The alcohol didn’t have a thing to do with it, and I never wanted it to end.
…
It was after two in the morning when we finally made it back to the house and made our way up the front stairs. All the lights were off, and I swear I felt like I was sixteen again when Liam held his finger to his lips and shushed me while I giggled.
He pulled his keys out of his pocket and pushed it in the lock before turning the handle slowly. But I was too tipsy to be quiet.
I giggled some more as I pulled my shoes from my feet, and I carried them in my hand as he finally pushed open the front door.
“Are we going to get in trouble?” I whispered, but it sounded a lot louder than a whisper to my own ears.
“If you’re not quiet, we are.” He shut the door quietly, and I laughed again as I leaned against it.
“This is your fault.” I pointed at his chest. “You knew I was loud before you got me drunk then tried to sneak me back in here.”
He took a step closer to me, and part of me wished he would just close the space completely.
“Plus, your parents love me. If they get mad at anyone for waking them up, it’s going to be you.”
“Whose fault is that?” We were practically chest to chest now, and I swear he smelled even better now than he did earlier.
How was that even possible?
“Yours.” I pushed my finger into his chest, and he caught it. “You’re the one who brought me here. I can’t help it that you weren’t expecting everyone to fall for me.”
“You’re right.”
“So you’re admitting that it’s your fault?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’m admitting I didn’t expect for you to be so easy to fall for.” He didn’t give me the time to process what he had just said. Instead, he pushed even closer to me and ran his nose along the length of my neck. “I didn’t expect for any of this to happen.” His words were a whisper, but they echoed through me as if he’d screamed them.
We were tiptoeing over the edge, and I didn’t know where we should stop. I didn’t know how to cross that line without being hurt. I didn’t know how to cross it and ever get back to what we were when we went home.
Because we would be going home, and this all would end. Every part of it, and I didn’t know where I would stand.
Would we go back to being friends who barely spoke to each other? Would we somehow be more?
He linked his fingers with mine before taking a step back toward the stairs. I followed him, his hand not letting me go, and I couldn’t help but smile when he held his finger to his lips signaling for me to be quiet. We tiptoed up the steps hand in hand, and when Liam almost tripped over the top step, a laugh bubbled out of me.
We ran past his parents’ bedroom door, both of us laughing, and I dropped his hand along with my shoes the moment he shut his bedroom door.
“My mom might not love you so much anymore if she knew you were sneaking us into the house so late at night and trying to seduce her sweet, innocent boy.”
My mouth dropped open as he leaned against the small desk that sat in the corner of his room.
“You are not sweet and innocent.”
“So you are trying to seduce me?” He arched a brow at me, and I knew he was teasing me. But his room was dark and the alcohol was still running through my system, and I wanted nothing more than to get under his skin.
I wanted to get under his skin like he managed to do to me every day without even trying. I wanted to make him regret every time he ever thought we were a bad idea. I wanted him to want me as badly as I wanted him.
“Do you think this is me seducing you?” I sat down on the end of his bed. “I’m doing a pretty piss-poor job. Don’t you think?” I cocked my head to the side and stared at him.
“I don’t know. It seems to be working to me.”
I rummaged through my bag at the end of the bed and pulled out my pajamas. I popped the button on my shorts and Liam’s gaze was glued to the movement. “You’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t want me, Liam. No need for this little game.” I lifted my ass and pulled my shorts down my legs while he watched.
“When the fuck did I make that clear?”
His words made my skin boil. He knew exactly when he had made that clear.
“I don’t know. Maybe the hundred times you’ve pushed me away or the time you ate me out then forgot about it the second it happened like it was the least memorable thing to ever happen to you.” I was angry now. Just thinking about that night pissed me off.
He was in my face so quickly, I didn’t have a second to hide my reaction. But I didn’t care. I was tired of pretending that he didn’t bother me. I was tired of pretending that the way he seemed interested in every girl but me didn’t hurt.
“I didn’t forget a single second of it. I think about that night every time I see you, every time you walk away, and I definitely think about that night when I’m alone with my cock in my hand.”
“So, what? I’m the girl you think about when you have nobody else to take care of you?” I grazed my fingers over his zipper, and
he let out a growl. It made my heart race even faster and my stomach tighten.
“I haven’t been with anyone since that night I was with you. You’re all I’ve been able to think about for the last two months.”
His words were shocking and unfair and more importantly a lie. Liam didn’t think about me.
He didn’t get to pretend like I suddenly mattered to him.
“You haven’t thought about me.” I stated the fact that we both already knew. “You’re only thinking about me now because you need me.”
“Don’t tell me what I’m thinking.” He pushed closer to me, my hand firm against his groin. “You don’t have a fucking clue what’s going through my head.”
He was right, but that was only because he made it that way. He’s the one who always kept me at arm’s length. He was the one who didn’t want this.
“Then show me.”
As soon as the words left my lips, his mouth crashed down against mine. It wasn’t gentle or smooth. This was no longer the Liam that he let everybody see. He was messy and unrestrained, and I loved it.
His teeth hit mine, his lips swallowed my moan, and just when I thought I knew what he was going to do next, he sucked my tongue into his mouth before biting down on the tip. He didn’t talk as he pressed a knee into the mattress or as he used his hands under my arms to lift me farther up the bed.
He had me exactly where he wanted me, and I wouldn’t dare move a muscle. I was too scared that one wrong move would make him stop. One wrong move and he would regret what he started.
There wasn’t a trace of hesitation in his touch as he pushed my shirt up my stomach and traced the movement with his tongue. He nipped my belly button, making my back arch off the bed, but he didn’t stop. He continued his path until my shirt was above my chest and his mouth was still pressed against my skin.
He didn’t stop as he tasted the edge of my breast or when he jerked my bra to the side so he could run his tongue over my nipple.
I pulled my t-shirt the rest of the way off, eager for him to have full access to my body, but he caught me last minute, trapping my hands above my head.
