Ava bit her lip until she tasted blood. Her heart ached for the little boy he had been, for the pain and rejection he must have felt, for all he had suffered. How he must have hated her for marrying Douglas. It all made such perfect sense now. She had ruined him just as his mother had done to his father. No wonder he had come looking for revenge. ‘Oh, Marc…’ she said again.
‘I know I should have told you this before,’ he said. ‘I should have told you before I set you up in that apartment in London. I know you wanted more and God knows you certainly deserved more. If I could rewrite the past I would do it, but I can’t.’
‘It’s all right,’ she said softly. ‘I understand.’
He gave her a weary look. ‘I’m not a good bet, Ava, but I can promise to take care of you and the baby. You have my word on that. You will not want for anything as long as I am alive.’
Ava didn’t like to tell him that what she wanted most could not be bought with money. It was enough that he had shared this small part of his heart with her. He had revealed his past in a way he had never done before.
She stepped back to him and placed her arms around his waist. ‘Thank you for telling me,’ she said, looking up into his eyes. ‘I am so sorry you had such a hard time as a child. No child deserves that sort of pain. No ex should hate their partner more than they love their child.’
His hands slipped around her back and pressed her closer. ‘Are you still dead set against breakfast in bed?’ he asked with a hint of a smile.
‘I hope the toast hasn’t gone soggy.’
He scooped her up in his arms. ‘Let’s go see, shall we?’
Ava woke from a blissful sleep an hour or so later. Marc was lying on his side, watching her. She reached out and touched him to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. His flesh was warm and hard and her heart squeezed as she thought of how he had pleasured her earlier.
He touched her face lightly. ‘You have a linen crease, right there,’ he said.
Ava felt it with her fingers and grimaced. ‘I must look a fright. I need a shower.’
His eyes darkened as he held her gaze. ‘Why not join me?’
Ava felt the delicious thrill of anticipation trickle through her as he led her into the en suite. He set the water temperature and stepped in, taking her with him. His arms went around her, holding her against his growing erection. She relished the surge of his blood against her, her body quivering as he bent his head to hers.
The cascading water added a sensual element to the kiss. He cupped her face in his hands, his mouth exploring hers in exquisite detail, his tongue playing with hers, making it dance around his with excitement as her passion rose.
His hands moved down from her face to cup her breasts, his thumbs teasing each of her nipples before he bent his mouth to each one in turn. Ava leaned back against the marble wall, a river of delight running through her body as his lips and tongue worked on her sensitive flesh. Her feminine core pulsed with longing, her legs barely able to keep her upright as Marc’s mouth slowly but surely travelled via her shoulders and neck before taking her mouth under his again. This time the kiss had more urgency in it. She felt the hard probe of his body nudging her and she opened her thighs, sighing with bliss as he teased her at her moist entrance. She became brazen with him, reaching down and touching him, circling him with her hand, rubbing and stroking while she was swallowing each of his groans.
He pulled away from her mouth, looking down at her with glittering eyes so black with desire her insides twitched with heady excitement. ‘Turn around,’ he commanded.
Ava felt another thrilling wave of anticipation course through her as she turned her back to him. She shuddered when his hands gripped her by the waist, the feel of him behind her, so hard, so engorged, so powerful and so ready, made her shiver all over.
The difference in their heights was no barrier. Ava lifted herself on tiptoe as he bent his long strong legs, thrusting into her with such slick force she gasped out loud. ‘Tell me if I’m going too fast for you,’ he said in a gruff, passion-filled voice.
‘You feel amazing,’ she breathed.
‘God, so do you,’ he said, nuzzling at her neck. ‘I love feeling you like this. I can feel every part of you holding on to me.’
Ava rocked back against him, anchoring herself against the marble wall of the shower, giving herself up to the powerful sensation of having him move within her. He upped his pace, the deep, thrusting motion making her flesh tingle all over. Her breathing became ragged as the tension grew inside her, her heart beating faster and faster. It was so incredibly intimate feeling him like this, her bottom pressed up against his lower abdomen, her feminine folds swollen and super-sensitive as he drove into her, time and time again. Every nerve-ending was screaming for release, every part of her seemed to be marshalling for that final plunge into paradise.
Marc seemed to be fighting his own battle to maintain control. Ava knew he was close to bursting, she could hear it in his breathing and she could feel it in the urgency of his thrusts as the water poured down over their rocking bodies.
Ava suddenly felt the trigger go on her control. It caught her by surprise, sending her into a cataclysmic roller-coaster ride of sensation. Her nerves felt as if they had exploded with feeling, each and every one of them vibrating like the strings of a violin played by a master. It went on and on, making her feel as if she had shattered into a thousand pieces and would never be the same again.
She was still breathless in the aftermath when she felt Marc prepare to come. He thrust harder and harder, his deep groans sounding so sexy she knew she would live with this erotic fantasy in her head for the rest of her life. She felt him burst with release, the pumping action of his body sending her flesh into a shiver of rapturous delight.
He held her against him as his breathing steadied, the water washing away his seed from her body. Ava wondered if he realised he hadn’t used a condom, but thought against mentioning it. She didn’t want to spoil the intimacy of the moment. She had never felt so close to him and yet he had still not mentioned anything about his feelings for her. She didn’t want to repeat the mistakes of the past and hound him for assurances, even though she desperately wanted them.
He turned her around and kissed her mouth, softly and lingeringly, his hands moving up and down her body in a caress that was as fluid as the water coursing down upon them.
After a while he reached past her and turned off the shower. He didn’t speak; he just picked up a towel and began to dry her as one would do to a small child. Ava gave herself up to his ministrations, enjoying the tenderness after the mind-blowing passion they had shared.
Their eyes met.
Ava tried to keep her emotions in check. She didn’t want to appear needy or clingy. That would be the ultimate turn-off for him. She affected a casual demeanour, keeping her voice light and carefree. ‘What are your plans for the day? I thought I might go to the gym and then do some reading for the course I’m planning to do.’
He reached for another towel and roughly dried himself before tying it around his hips. ‘I have some book-work to pore over,’ he said, watching her closely. ‘And I have a wedding to plan. Why don’t you give your sister a call and tell her the news before she reads about it in the papers?’
Ava kept her face impassive. ‘I thought I’d wait until we hear from the doctor. No point rushing into things.’
He held her gaze for a throbbing pause. ‘You are determined to make me beg, aren’t you?’
‘You don’t strike me as the type to beg for anything, Marc,’ she said, reaching for a bathrobe.
He blew out a breath as he followed her into the bedroom. ‘What do you want from me? I’ve offered to marry you. That’s what you always wanted, wasn’t it?’
Ava rolled her eyes before she faced him. ‘I am not going to be browbeaten into a loveless marriage. I’ve already had one of those, remember?’
The phone rang at the bedside and Marc snatched it up impatiently. ‘Marc Castel
lano,’ he clipped out.
‘It’s your sister,’ he said, handing it over.
Ava took the phone, watching as Marc grabbed at some clothes before he left. ‘Serena…’ she said. ‘I…I was going to call you.’
‘It’s OK,’ Serena said. ‘I know things must be a little crazy for you right now. Marc sounded a bit curt just then. Is everything all right?’
Ava felt tears sting at her eyes, but valiantly fought them back. ‘I suppose you read the news. He wants us to get married.’
‘That’s a good thing, isn’t it?’ Serena asked. ‘I mean, you still love him, don’t you?’
Ava bit her lip and took a deep breath before she answered. ‘That’s the problem. I love him but he doesn’t love me.’
‘How do you know he doesn’t?’ Serena asked. ‘Has he said something to the contrary?’
‘No, it’s just our relationship has always been about…about other things,’ Ava said, trying not to think about what had just happened in the shower. ‘He’s only offering to marry me now because…’ She stopped, wondering how she could frame it to somehow lessen the blow.
‘Is there a possibility you could be pregnant?’ Serena got in first.
Ava let out a sigh that shook its way through her chest. ‘I’m not sure… I’ve had a blood test…. I’m waiting for the doctor to call with the results.’
There was a little silence.
Ava could imagine how her sister was feeling. She could imagine the ambiguity of feeling joy and envy for someone you loved, wanting something so much that it hurt to hear of others succeeding where you had failed.
‘Ava, I am so excited for you,’ Serena said.
‘You are?’
‘But of course, silly,’ Serena assured her. ‘What, did you think that I would be upset or jealous or something?’
‘Well, the thought had crossed my mind…’
‘Ava, you’ve done so much for me, it’s about time something went right for you for a change,’ Serena said. She waited a beat before adding, ‘Richard and I have decided to have a break from IVF. We are so grateful for all you’ve done to help us financially, but Richard feels uncomfortable taking any more money off you.’
‘But darling, you can’t stop trying,’ Ava said. ‘You’ll get pregnant again. I’m sure of it.’
‘I am hopeful of it, but right now I think Richard is right,’ Serena said. ‘We’ve spent our whole marriage focusing on me becoming pregnant. It’s put us under enormous pressure, both emotionally and, of course, financially. We want to pay you back. I’m going to get a job and in a couple of years we’re going to try again. I’m not like other women, who have their age against them.’
‘Are you sure about this?’ Ava asked. ‘The money’s not an issue. Marc has given me—’
‘I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for me any longer,’ Serena said adamantly. ‘I feel worried that you might not be telling me the truth about your relationship with Marc. It’s just the sort of thing you would do, like you did with Douglas. You made me believe you were happy about the arrangement and I guess because I wanted to believe it I went along with it. But no more, Ava. I want you to be genuinely happy. No one deserves it more than you.’
Ava blinked back tears. ‘I don’t know what to say…’
‘How does Marc feel about the possibility of a baby?’
Ava gave another sigh. ‘It’s been a difficult time for both of us. It wasn’t what either of us expected.’
‘Is there anything I can do? What about coming over to stay for a while? If you are pregnant we could go shopping for baby things. It would be fun. It’s just what I need to stop thinking about my own stuff.’
Ava chewed at her lip. Maybe some time with her sister would be a good idea right now. She couldn’t think with Marc around her, tempting her into marrying him for all the wrong reasons. The more time she spent with him the harder it was to say no. ‘It does sound nice…’
‘I’m sure Marc will agree,’ Serena said. ‘Anyway, you have to buy a wedding dress. I can help you. It will be much more fun this time around.’
Ava didn’t have the heart to tell her sister she couldn’t bear the thought of another white wedding. Instead she promised to call as soon as she had heard from the doctor and rang off.
The phone had hardly been back on the cradle when it rang again. Ava stared at the number in the call-ID screen, recognising it as a local one. She picked it up and answered, her stomach folding over when she heard the doctor’s voice.
‘The results of your test were negative,’ he said after greeting her by name. ‘But you do, however, have a slightly lower than normal blood count, which would account for the symptoms you are experiencing. I suggest you take an iron supplement for a few weeks, that way if you do plan a pregnancy you will be in much better health to carry it to term.’
Ava hung up the phone a short time later, her thoughts whirling. Disappointment sliced through her; she hadn’t realised how much she had hoped for a positive result until now. She put her hand on her belly, an ache of longing filling her until she felt as if she wanted to curl up and howl.
The door opened and she looked up to see Marc standing there with a questioning look on his face. ‘Was that the doctor?’ he asked. ‘I was outside and couldn’t get to the phone in time.’
Ava fought back her emotions with an effort. ‘Yes, it was.’
‘And?’
She searched his face, wondering if he would be able to disguise his relief when she told him.
‘Ava?’ he prompted. ‘What did he say?’
She took a little breath. ‘He said I’m anaemic. I have to take a supplement.’
The air seemed to be sucked out of the room as the silence lengthened.
‘So you’re not pregnant?’ he asked, his expression still giving nothing away.
She shook her head. ‘No.’
‘Could it be a mistake?’ he asked. ‘What if they got someone else’s results? It happens sometimes. People’s names and birthdates are similar, so—’
‘Marc, I am not pregnant, OK? You’re in the clear. There’s not going to be a baby.’
He slowly let out the breath he had been holding. ‘How do you feel about it?’ he asked.
She frowned at him. ‘How do you expect me to feel?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘I thought your greatest desire was to have a baby.’
‘Under the right circumstances, yes—but not like this.’ She turned away and began to leave the room.
‘Where are you going?’ he asked.
She turned and faced him with a challenging look. ‘I’m going to pack.’
His brows snapped together. ‘Pack for where?’
She lifted her chin. ‘I’m going to stay with my sister. I want some time, Marc. You can’t stop me from going.’
‘Aren’t you forgetting something?’ A hard look came into his eyes.
Ava’s hand gripped the doorknob. ‘I don’t need your money, Marc. Serena’s not having any more IVF for a while.’
‘What about the debts Cole left behind?’
She gave him stare for stare. ‘I don’t care about the debts. If you want to take me to court then fine, go right ahead. I’ll find some way of dealing with it. I just want some time to think about my life, about where I go from here.’
Marc kept his hands clenched by his sides as he fought the desire to reach for her. He knew he had to tread carefully. So much was riding on how he responded. He had to fight every urge to force her to stay with him. Threats came to mind, horrible threats he would never, ever act on, but he left them unspoken. He didn’t want her to hate him any more than she already did. Although for a time there he had wondered… He gave himself a get-a-grip shake. She only responded to him because sex was the language he had always spoken with her. He had to take it out of the equation, to see if there was anything else they could build a relationship on. It would be hard, it would be painful, it would tear him in two to let her go, bu
t he would have to do it, to make sure if she came back it was what she wanted, not just something she had no choice in.
It was unfamiliar territory for him to feel so utterly, so helplessly vulnerable. ‘I’ll give you a month,’ he said, stripping his voice of any hint of what he was feeling. ‘But that is all. One month, no contact other than by phone or e-mail—then you can’t accuse me of trying to coerce you into it.’
She seemed to consider it for a moment. ‘A month…’ Her tongue sneaked out to moisten her lips. ‘O…K…and…and after that?’
‘After that if you don’t want to continue our relationship you will be free,’ he said. ‘I will not force you to marry me. You will never have to see or hear from me again.’
CHAPTER TEN
‘AVA, THAT’S THE THIRD morning in a row you’ve been sick,’ Serena said. ‘Are those iron pills you’ve been taking disagreeing with you?’
Ava wiped her face with the hand towel her sister had handed her. ‘God, I feel so ghastly.’ She clutched at the basin as another wave of nausea hit her.
‘You know, if it hadn’t been for the fact you haven’t been anywhere near Marc for the last month, I would swear you were pregnant,’ Serena said, handing her a face cloth. ‘Maybe you should do another test. Perhaps the blood test was wrong.’
‘Blood tests are supposed to be far more reliable than any other test,’ Ava said as she mopped her face and waited for the sickness to ease off.
How could she be ill on the very day she was supposed to meet Marc? She had wanted to look and feel her best. She had missed him so much; she had counted the hours until she would see him face to face again. He had phoned her a couple of times a week, but she had found it hard to talk to him. He seemed aloof, distant, as if he was already moving on without her. She had read every paper and gossip magazine, but there had been no sign of him out and about with anyone else. She took some measure of comfort in that, but it wasn’t much. Maybe he was waiting until the month was up to get back to his playboy lifestyle.
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