by Mehrdad Kia
The day the child was born, an imperial notice was issued for the public to celebrate the arrival of a new member of the house of Osman. The next day, the grand vizier and other high dignitaries, such as the şeyhülislam and the chief of scribes, arrived at the imperial palace to congratulate the sultan. They were all rewarded with robes of honor by their royal master. Meanwhile, the women of the royal palace and the wives of high government officials were invited to the harem. The first group lived in the palace and had no need for transportation. The second group of invitees, who did not reside in the imperial harem, assembled at the home of the grand vizier and from there were taken to the palace by horse-drawn carriages. Once in the harem, the women greeted the lady who had given birth to a new member of the royal family and kissed the coverlet on her bed. They also presented her and the baby, who was held by a wet nurse, with gifts. Sumptuous meals, including sweetmeats and coffee, were served, while musicians played and singers performed to entertain the guests, who sometimes stayed at the harem for several days.
CHILD REARING
A distinguishing trait of the Ottoman popular culture was strong paternal affection and love for children. As one European visitor observed, nothing could be more beautiful than the tenderness of a Turkish father; he hailed “every demonstration of dawning intellect, every proof of infant affection, with a delight that must be witnessed to be thoroughly understood.” The father anticipated “every want,” he gratified “every wish,” and he sacrificed “his own personal comfort to ensure that of his child.”
There were many different child-rearing traditions across the Ottoman Empire. After wrapping and swaddling the newborn, and without allowing it to drink the mother’s milk, the Abkhazians sent their children to foster mothers, and their parents could not visit them until they were 10 or 15 years old. They believed that if the child suffered homelessness he would become a man. Turkish women, however, generally suckled their own infants and refused to hand them over to a wet nurse; they believed that the attention, care, and love of the child’s own mother was the best nourishment for an infant. Children were not merely brought up by their parents. They were the joint responsibility of both sides of the family. Children spent as much time with their grandmothers, aunts, and cousins as with their mothers. Women exchanged babysitting responsibilities with their mothers and sisters, as well as with their in-laws.
Among the Ottomans, children, and particularly male offspring, were greatly prized. The preservation and survival of the family required its reproduction; any family that did not reproduce disappeared and vanished. Among peasant farmers, economic productivity increased when more hands were available, particularly during the harvest season. Children also were needed to provide security and care for their parents when they grew old. In the absence of children, a family would come to the brink of extinction if its sole male member, the husband, were recruited by the army and taken away to a far-away war. A child, and particularly a son, could guard the land and ensure its cultivation in the absence of his father. Additional sons were even better because if one son was taken to a military campaign, his brother or brothers could assume responsibility for his family and his land. Indeed, the idea of a unified family staying together, and protecting and defending its collective interests, was central to Ottoman society and culture. In the rural communities of the empire, children began to work very young and generally developed “into hardy and handsome men and women.”
A central feature of Ottoman family culture was the reverence displayed by children toward their parents. Special love and adoration was reserved for the mother of the family. Husbands and wives could advise and reprimand, but the mother was “an oracle”; she was “consulted, confided in, listened to with respect and deference, honored to her latest hour, and remembered with affection and regret beyond the grave.”
Among both rich and poor, children were taught to show the utmost respect for parents. When a young boy entered the presence of his parents and other older members of the family, he stood still and, after making proper salutations, proceeded to kiss their hands. He sat down only after he had received permission from his father. When a family decided to leave, the father stood up first, then the mother, and only lastly the children, who allowed their parents to leave first before they followed. Often, the children kissed the hem of their mother’s gown and their father’s robe. This sensitivity and politeness, remarked upon by numerous Western observers, continued in the relationship between a student and his teacher when he entered school. Pupils regarded their teachers as superior beings, almost as second fathers, who deserved unwavering respect and obedience. Though highly cultured and extremely polite, from the humblest to the most powerful, men and women maintained a strong sense of dignity.
CIRCUMCISION
One of the most important dates in the life of a young Muslim boy was the day he was circumcised. One European observer who lived in Istanbul at the beginning of the 17th century described the Muslim circumcision as a ceremony of the greatest significance, one which was always held with pomp and solemnity among the Ottomans.
The age of a boy at circumcision varied considerably. Regardless of the boy’s age, families allowed a lock of hair to grow on the crown of the boy’s head until the very day of circumcision. The hair hanging down the middle of the boy’s back, over his uppermost jacket, was displayed in such a way as to make it visible to everyone. It served as a sign that the boy had not been circumcised and therefore could not pray with the congregation at a mosque.
On the day of circumcision, a large contingent of male relatives and family friends, on foot or horseback, accompanied the boy to a mosque where he was catechized by an imam, who asked him questions on his faith: Was he a Muslim? Did he believe in Muhammad the prophet of God? Was he willing to defend Islam? And so on. The boy then swore to defend the “true faith,” be a friend of Islam and Muslims, and an enemy to the foes and enemies of religion. He then returned home to be circumcised by a local barber.
While the boy was catechized in the mosque, his home was turned upside down as the family prepared a feast to follow the circumcision ceremony. They were obliged by custom and tradition to dispense unbounded hospitality in celebration of their son’s coming-of-age. Parents kept an open house and entertained not only neighbors and relatives but also nearby residents. Festivities could last anywhere from one to three days, depending on the social status and the financial means of the family. Refreshments and sweetmeats were served and gifts were offered. Magicians and dancers performed, theatrical productions, such as the popular Karagöz, amused and entertained the head of the household and his guests at the selamlik and the women at the harem.
In sharp contrast to the general populace, who celebrated the event for a few days, the festivities surrounding the circumcision of the male members of the Ottoman royal family could last as long as several weeks. Royal circumcisions were always followed by tournaments and entertainments by a host of singers, musicians, theater groups, clowns, fire-eaters, dancers, and artists of all kinds. Clothing, gold coins, underwear, and toys were given as gifts. The significance of these royal circumcisions is best demonstrated by the large number of miniature paintings that depict the circumcision of the sons of various sultans, as well as surnames (imperial festival books) that recorded the important events of a sultan’s reign.
CLOTHING, VEILING, AND SEGREGATION
No other subject aroused more controversy and discussion among Western visitors to the Ottoman Empire than the status of women, particularly the concept of the harem and the custom of veiling. European diplomats and businessmen lamented the miserable and oppressive confinement of Ottoman women, despite having never visited a harem. The few European ladies who were invited to a Turkish harem did not find the lives of Ottoman women confined and praised their Muslim counterparts for their beauty, power, and sophistication.
As soon as a young girl had reached puberty, she donned the veil and no man could see her face and body unless it
was her father, immediate male kin, and, later, her husband. She even covered her hands with gloves. To preserve her privacy and veiled status, the windows of the women’s apartment opened to an inner courtyard. If there were any windows facing the street, they were barred so tightly that no outsider could see the inside of the room.
In the first half of the 18th century, ladies of the court and women of upper classes wore a pair of very full pants that reached their shoes and concealed their legs. These pants came in a variety of bright colors and were brocaded with silver flowers. Over this hung their smock with wide sleeves hanging half way down the arm and closed at the neck with a diamond button. The smock was made of fine silk edged with embroidery. The wealthy women wore a relatively tight waistcoat with very long sleeves falling back and fringed with deep gold fringe and diamond or pearl buttons. Over this they wore a caftan or a robe, exactly fitted to the shape of the body, reaching the feet “with very long straight-falling sleeves and usually made of the same stuff as the pants.” Over the robe was the girdle, which for the rich was made of diamonds or other precious stones, and for others was of exquisite embroidery on satin. Regardless of the material it was made of, the girdle had to be fastened “with a clasp of diamonds.” Over the caftan and girdle, women wore a loose robe called cebe, made of rich brocade and lined either with ermine or sable, was put on according to the weather. The headdress for women from wealthy families “composed of a cap called kalpak,” which in winter was of “fine velvet embroidered with pearls or diamonds and in summer of a light shining silver stuff.” The cap was “fixed on one side of the head hanging a little way down with a gold tassel, and bound on either with a circle of diamonds or a rich embroidered handkerchief.” On “the other side of the head,” the hair was laid “flat and here the ladies” were “at liberty to show their fancies, some putting flowers, others a plume of heron’s feathers,” but “the most general fashion” was “a large bouquet of jewels made like natural flowers; that is, the buds of pearl, the roses of different coloured rubies, the jessamines of diamonds, the jonquils of topazes, etc, so well set and enamelled ’tis hard to imagine anything of that kind so beautiful.” Finally for their footwear, women wore “white kid leather embroidered with gold.”
Women did not leave their homes before sunrise or after sunset, except during the holy month of Ramazan, and even then, ladies from wealthy families did not appear on the street unless they were accompanied and attended by several servants, who walked at some distance behind them. Segregation between the sexes was observed at all times. Men did not walk on the street next to their wives or mothers, and inside the house women had their meals apart from the men. Even among poor families, a curtain separated the men’s quarters from the women’s. On everything from steamers and ferries to streetcars, which were introduced in the 19th century, curtains designated separate compartments for women. Until the second half of the 19th century, even Christian churches observed and respected the segregation of sexes in a house of worship.
Piety was the hallmark of a woman’s life. Muslim women prayed five times a day and fasted during the month of Ramazan. On Fridays, many attended prayers at a mosque where they had their own section, separate from men, and, during Ramazan, those living in Istanbul went en masse to evening service at the majestic Şehzade mosque. Many women of power and prominence had their own personal prayer leaders (imams) and spiritual guides.
Going to a bathhouse was another important occasion for the women of the household. Once a week for at least four to five hours, the women of rich and powerful families set out for a nearby bathhouse, followed by a retinue of servants carrying on their heads bathing robes and towels, as well as baskets full of fruit, pastry, and perfumes their mistress was to consume during her long visit away from her home. Once inside the bathhouse, women relaxed, took off their clothes, drank coffee or sherbet, shared the latest scandal or gossip, and lay down on cushions as their slaves braided their hair. With the introduction of private baths, public hammams lost their popularity, but they never disappeared completely.
Before the arrival of capitalism and modern factories in the 19th century, a woman living in a village or a tribe played a far more important role in the economic life of her community than a wealthy woman living in a city. From working on the land and caring for animals, to spinning wool and cotton, and producing rugs and carpets, the economic function and the social role of a village woman was critical to the survival of her family and community. She was also responsible, by custom and tradition, for keeping the house tidy, preparing meals, and taking care of children.
In sharp contrast, the rich urban woman was far less critical to the economic life and survival of her husband and family. Among the rich, cooks prepared the meals, while nurses, nannies, and tutors took care of the children and their daily basic needs. This level of support provided wealthy women with ample time to enjoy themselves by going to parks for picnics, inviting female friends and relatives for coffee and sweets, and entertaining their guests with dancers and musicians. In the second half of the 19th century, a new middle class educated in European languages and Western ideas emerged. Women from these middle-class families began to attend schools where they studied foreign languages, European history, modern ideas, and philosophies. It was from the ranks of this new class of educated women that a new generation of female business leaders, parliamentarians, and scholars emerged.
Ottoman women in the traditional clothes. Dames Turques (1863–1869).
A woman of Istanbul (1667).
DIVORCE
Divorces were prevalent in Ottoman society, and men could divorce their wives without any explanation or justification. In numerous instances, women also filed for divorce. There were three types of divorce. The first was talaq, which allowed a man to “divorce his wife unilaterally and without going to court simply by pronouncing a formula of divorce.” The Muslim women in the Ottoman Empire could not use talaq to divorce their husband, but they had the right “to obtain a court-ordered divorce (tafriq).” A “woman could also negotiate a divorce known as khul with her husband by agreeing to forego payment of balance of her dower or by absolving him of other financial responsibilities.” Affluent women seeking divorce paid an additional sum of money to secure their husband’s consent to divorce. Unless “the khul divorce specified otherwise, a woman gained certain entitlements upon divorce.” She could “receive any balance owed on her dower, and material support for three months following the divorce.” Payment of alimony was “decided by the court on the woman’s application, not only in cases of formal divorce but also in instances of abandonment or if the husband failed to provide for his family.” Additionally, “any underage children born of the marriage were entitled to full financial support from their father.” At the time of divorce, it was unlawful for husbands to take from their wives anything they had given them, including gifts before marriage and during the wedding ceremony.
The wife was entitled to divorce her husband and seek another man if she was not satisfied with the house to which her husband had taken her. She could also file for divorce if the marriage remained unconsummated, if the husband was impotent or mentally unstable, or if he had committed sodomy or intended intercourse in ways that were viewed as abnormal, or if he had forced her to drink wine against her wishes. Other legitimate causes for divorce were “incompatibility, ill treatment, including physical abuse by the husband, financial problems that led to altercations between spouses, adultery, failure of one or both parties to keep to the basic expectations of marriage, especially not doing the work the family needed from either husband or wife,” and the inability of the wife to produce sons who “were greatly desired and needed for financial security, to carry on the family and support the old folks.” Women were often blamed for not producing sons, and divorce “caused by a lack of sons was not uncommon.” A man without a son was justified by custom and tradition to marry another wife who would produce a son for him.
Though divorces
were common in the Ottoman Empire, there were many factors that worked against them. Because marriages were arranged between families and not individuals, divorces would not only impact the husband and the wife but two large and extended families, which had established personal, familial, and at times, social and financial ties. Both families had invested a great deal, both in expenses and goods, not to mention time and emotions. Poor and struggling families, who had spent a great deal to purchase household goods and build a house, could not afford losing their investment. Outside financial concerns, the impact on children and “public shame” were also important factors in preventing divorces. If “a man or a woman caused a marriage to dissolve for what fellow villagers thought was a bad reason, the entire village would censure him or her, and public shame was not easy to live with in a closed society.”
After divorce, both men and women were free to marry again. In the Quran, divorced women were commanded to wait “three menstrual courses” before they could marry again. Very few divorced individuals remained unmarried, and though women were required to wait 100 days before remarrying, this rule “was routinely broken” and remarriage came shortly after divorce. If a man divorced his wife, he could not remarry her until she had wedded another man and been divorced by him. In case of a second marriage between the same individuals, the husband was obligated to promise the payment of mehr.
11 - EATING, DRINKING, SMOKING, AND CELEBRATING
Preparing, serving, and eating food was of the utmost importance to the social life of every urban and rural community in the Ottoman Empire. Around “this basic element of life revolved numerous rituals of socialization, leisure and politics.” Consuming food “in this world was most closely associated with the family and home, for there was no such thing as a culture of restaurants and dining out was rare.” When a person ate outside his/her home, “it was usually in the home of a friend or family member.”
