by Sierra Cross
“Oh yeah.” I’d almost forgotten how, the night I quit, Emma had said she had something to share with me. Whatever it was, it would have been cool to hang with this crew outside of Sanctum. Regret washed over me. What would Emma think if I told her I’d taken on a corporate job? Would she be jealous, or think I’d sold out to the man. Would she think she had no idea who I was anymore? Because that was how I felt.
My guilty thought cascade was shut down when a spontaneous round of applause broke out. My regulars at the bar were giving me a standing ovation, and enough of the rest of the crowd in the room must have known me well enough to have wanted to join in. Word must have got out that I was no longer tending bar. Genuinely moved, I put my hand to my heart and yelled, “Thank you!” but probably no one could hear it over the clapping and whooping cheers. God, I missed this place already. The muscles in my legs were itching to bound over the bar and grab a shaker.
The commotion was so loud it sent Randy wandering out from his office, looking even more haggard. His hair lank and lifeless despite copious amounts of gel. The bags under his eyes fuller, dark purple like a bruise that never seemed to heal. What was going on with that guy? Before I could muster up too much sympathy, his face soured at the sight of me. “Come for your last paycheck, Alix?” he jeered. “I wrote it on a napkin for you.”
Instantly, I felt Matt bristle beside me, literally taking up more space. Randy was too busy giving me a death glare to look up at Matt’s looming form, but I liked this place way too much to imagine not coming in here ever again because my guardian killed the owner. Somehow, wanting to defuse the situation sucked the anger right out of me, cooling my hot hands. As I touched Matt’s arm, though, a thrill of electricity ran up from his warm skin through my fingertips, causing me to take a deep breath. “I’ve got this,” I whispered in his ear, my lips tantalizingly close to his muscular neck. “Trust me.” Matt didn’t look happy but he relaxed his posture a bit. To Randy, I said calmly, “Could we talk in your office? Please?” His trademark sneer lost some of its sharpness at the “please,” giving me hope.
When I came back out of Randy’s office a few minutes later, Matt sat at the bar drinking a long neck like it was fine champagne. “Good stuff, huh?” Not bothering to hide my amusement.
“Even better than I’ve been imagining for the last ten years.” He took another swallow, and I found myself lost in the pure sensual pleasure that spread from the glow on his face. Doing time in the Void, I realized, had strange aftereffects. For all his professional soldier stoicism, Matt could squeeze an inordinate amount of pleasure from the most banal sensory experiences. My dirty mind wasted no time imagining how he’d look while enjoying other, better things he hadn’t had in ten years. Bad girl, I mentally slapped myself. “Turns out Randy’s is only mostly unreasonable.” My staying calm for once had defused the situation. “We had a decent talk. He gave me a real check and I am not a persona non grata.” I motioned to the door. “Come on, I’ll buy you dinner. It’ll be even more of a rush than the beer.”
I was feeling so darn good about my diplomatic victory with Randy, and my newfound ability to control my inner fire, that I barely even noticed the group of guys that followed us out the door.
We’d barely made it outside when a sharp grip spun me around to the alley between Sanctum and the bar next to it.
“I was hoping to run into you again.”
I rolled my eyes, recognizing the prick that assaulted Emma and his posse. “Really, you’re back for more punishment?” I had no respect for this pair of clown shoes and could already feel my hands heating up to deliver a beat-down. With Matt here this would be cake.
The prick actually smiled at me. “I was racking my brain, trying to figure out how an undersized piece of ass like you got the jump on me. My friend Al finally explained it to me.” He motioned to a smug-looking guy in the pack. “He’s a mage and told me he buys spells all the time. I bought me an extra powerful one.” He pulled a small vial filled with a dark purple effervescent liquid from his pocket. As he brought the vial to his lips, Matt lunged for him. The four in the posse pinned him against the wall—it was a struggle but they were holding him in place. “This spell has a shelf life so I better get started. Your pretty boy’s gonna enjoy watching.”
As he swaggered toward me, an inky dark purple sludge of energy engulfed me. He was on me in a flash, wrapping his hand around my throat and lifting me off the ground. As he touched me, I felt his magic, but it wasn’t a warm zing of energy, like Callie’s. Juiced up as he was, this guy’s magic hurt, stinging and cutting. Like razor blades dragging across my skin. The pain was so intense, bile was trying to rise in my throat, but he’d already closed it off. Panic bled across my chest.
Matt growled like a feral animal, fending off punches, trying to get to me. He threw a brutal right elbow and was down to three attackers. White hot fear blinded me as I realized my lungs were out of air. Spots of light formed at the edges of my vision. I pounded on the arm that held me and kicked my legs wildly but it had absolutely no effect on my attacker. He was grinning like this was the most fun he’d ever had.
“Use your anger!” Matt shouted, as he downed another of the guys in his path.
He didn’t need to tell me twice. As I let myself feel the anger at the grinning maniac trying to end me, the tingling heat started—not only in my fingers but in my legs as well. I aimed the pointed heel of my boot right at the prick’s neck, drawing blood. It shook him enough to loosen the grip on my neck. Instead of sliding down the wall, I put my boot on his shoulder and springboarded up, executing a flip to land in the center of the ring.
Matt and I were back to back fighting our way out. The heat and tingling on my fingers felt so strong it burned. I threw my hand down and a ball of fire exploded at the prick’s feet. As it did, some of the dark magic leaked away from his aura.
“No, don’t use your firebolts,” Matt says. “These assholes are technically human. We can’t kill them.”
So that’s what this feeling was, firebolts. I reigned in the power in my hands, it seemed to make my fists into steel as I threw punches. I felt Matt behind me, ballast and partner in this fight. With a seamless synergy, we ducked and rolled, optimizing who punched where without needing words.
We must have been making quite a commotion because Tony rushed out. He plunged into the center of the ring, got clocked in the face and went down in a heap. At least he was an obstacle that the three guys left were forced to work around.
Matt used a punch kick combo and downed the two that were battling him. Now it was just me and the prick. His dark energy was all but gone as I threw one last punch to his solar plexus, sending him crashing onto his back on the sidewalk.
“Oh. My. God!” Emma yelled. She and the other waitresses were all watching, wide-eyed. “Are you okay?”
It took some doing, but I convinced Randy not to call the cops. The guys in a heap were unconscious but not mortally injured. And it was clear they attacked us—and we weren’t pressing charges.
As I was talking Randy down, I saw Matt talking seriously with Emma. “What was that about?” I asked.
“Just got a job.” He grinned. “Bouncer. Four nights a week. Decent pay. Under the table. No ID required.”
“Congrats.” I smiled but felt a little pang of jealousy that he’d be working at Sanctum and I wouldn’t. Crazy. I had a cush office job to look forward to. How come I still had pangs when thinking I wasn’t going back to Sanctum? “Come on, this calls for a celebratory meal.”
After a glorious night-breakfast of pancakes and bacon at Beth’s All Night Café—Matt finally admitted the concept had some merit—I scanned my paycheck into my bank’s phone app, and Matt and I hit the mall. I bought several business-casual outfits that still showed some semblance of style and didn’t make me feel like a corporate automaton. Matt picked up a pay-as-you-go cell phone, a couple shirts and a new pair of jeans for work.
We were both beat when we returned to my
apartment, yet after that fight both of us were clearly too charged to go straight to sleep. It was going on 11:00 p.m.—just about when things would start to get jumping at Sanctum and I felt like spinning a shaker.
Minutes later, I stood in my tiny kitchen spinning my jet-black shaker with a concoction of my own creation.
Matt hooted as it flew through the air, “Damn, I was sure I was going to end up with a face full of vodka. How do you do that?”
“Trade secret.” Sounded better than, hours and hours of practice. “I’ll never tell.” I winked and poured the blue liquid into frosted cocktail glasses.
Matt made a face. “Uh, blue cocktails aren’t my jam.”
“Just try one sip, scaredy cat.” I held the drink in front of him.
Looking doubtful, he shrugged and held it to his lips. “Hey, it’s not sweet.” He looked surprised. “It’s…”
“Crisp and refreshing?” I supplied. “Dude, I’m a professional mixologist. I know my audience.”
We sat on the couch playing a little game we invented on the spot, called What’s Changed in the Last Ten Years.
“Social media’s changed,” I said. “Facebook and Twitter.”
“Everyone stares at their phone all the time,” Matt added, looking mystified. “And they take self-portraits with the camera—constantly. What’s that about?”
“Selfies.” I laughed. “It’s…well…it is kinda stupid, now that I think about it.” Feeling a little nervous, I added, “Dating’s changed. I’ve noticed that, even in the last five years. For example, online hookup sites are all the rage now.”
His raised eyebrows rewarded me; exactly the reaction I was hoping for. The last time we spent much time together I was just a kid—and because of the strange semi-existence he’d endured in the Void, he’d changed little since then. But I’d changed a lot. I’d grown up. I needed to know, did he see me as his peer now? Did he see me as anything other than a witch he was charged to protect? As a friend…or more? I scooted closer to him on the couch but he moved to sit on the edge of it.
“Hey. Tonight was amazing.” Was he changing the subject away from dating?
“What part?” I was expecting he might be polite and say the drink I’d made him. But I was kinda hoping he’d say, this moment. Looking into each other’s eyes…
“That fight.”
I looked at the bruises on both our knuckles and felt the rest that decorated my body. “That’s the part of the evening you thought was amazing?”
“Didn’t you feel it? There was a rhythm between us as we fought.”
It was amazing. And the high that fight produced in my body was still flittering about in my blood stream. “Yeah, I felt it.” I paused. “So you’re okay with me fighting at your side?”
He hesitated. “I don’t like you risking yourself, but there was no other way in that situation.” Well, it wasn’t the “you’re a combat genius, Alexandra” I’d been hoping for, but it was something. A big something, for him. He turned his body so he sat facing me. He was so large on the couch our legs were touching. “I could sense you. I felt when you were about to throw a punch, knew when to duck. It was like…” He let it hang in the air. I was on the verge of saying, Sex. When he said, “The Brotherhood.”
So not where I was going with this. “The Brotherhood?”
“Yeah, I’ve never felt that synergy with anyone outside the Brotherhood. It was like we had a magical connection I can’t explain.” His face darkened. “But that can’t be. I’m talking crazy.”
Was he saying it was impossible to have a magical connection with me because my magic was so weak? The thought pained me. It seemed to pain him too, so I rushed to change the subject. “Tell me about them, your brothers.”
He slid back on the couch and our bodies were lined up, our knees touching. As he explained it was like the military in that they had ranks and a chain of command, I struggled to pay attention to his words because my mind kept noting where we were touching. I fell into a Matt-touch trance while he was musing on the possibility of upping his order from Barcelona, requesting more than one reinforcement guardian given how much more dangerous Seattle had become. They’d need there to be a full coven here to make that a remote possibility. I nodded, but all I could think was how his hand was grazing the top of my thigh, my limbs melting, body turned in toward him. His voice slowed, as if he was having to concentrate to say the words. He got so quiet I had to lean in to hear him. His face turned to me. I recognized the moment, he was about to kiss me and was willing him to bring his lips to mine—when he stood like his pants were on fire.
“There’s more I need to tell you.” His voice strained. “About the Brotherhood.”
Really, the Brotherhood again? “I’m okay with hearing about that later.” I was trying so hard not to sound desperate, but my body was aching for a kiss from him. For the feel of his hands on my skin. Pressing my body against his.
But he kept his distance as he spoke. “To join the Brotherhood, we have to sign blood oaths to adhere to guardian law. It’s not taken lightly. Abandoning that vow is punishable by banishment…even death.”
I blinked. “What does that have to do with me?”
“One of those laws is that we are forbidden to get involved romantically with a witch. Any witch.”
“Oh.” Was the most intelligent thing I could think to say. I didn’t have enough magic to scry—the simplest of magical tasks—but I had too much not to be considered a witch. I couldn’t speak. I felt shocked, disappointed, and even cheated. What had just happened? Matt was watching me carefully, and I refused to meet his eyes, which I knew would be full of compassion. I felt humiliated, for having assumed. Assumed that just now he was longing for the same thing I was. When really he never saw me as a lover. Only a charge, a witch to protect. “Why didn’t you tell me about your vow, sooner?”
“Because I was thinking I wouldn’t have to. That you wouldn’t see me in a romantic light to begin with. Alexandra, I want to be your coven’s guardian. Now that you know I can’t be more than that…will you still let me be that? It would mean letting me deep into your life, and yes even fighting side by side sometimes. The bond between witches and their guardians can never be romantic or sensual. But it’s a powerful bond nonetheless. If you can’t do this, I will step aside on January third and let the Brotherhood find a replacement. But I hope your answer is yes. I want to be there for you.”
He was offering so much. But he was also asking so much. Too much. After a long awkward silence, I stood. “We probably should get some sleep.”
Alone in my own bed, I could feel my hands heat up with emotion over what just happened on the couch. In the dark room, a golden aura glowed around them. I almost jumped up to tell Matt that today was the day I learned to see magic—that my power was growing. But I stopped short. I still owed him an answer to his question, but tonight I had no answers in me. All I had was an aching need, a heat in my center that could not be quenched.
Chapter Nine
I woke up at 9:30 a.m., keenly aware there was a gorgeous man on the floor in the other room. A gorgeous man who, I now knew, would forever be off limits to me. His scent had infiltrated the air overnight, invading my sleep and capturing my dreams. He’d let me sleep in; was he being gentle with me for once, or avoiding awkwardness?
The smell of crispy bacon drew me into the kitchen. A pan’s worth of bacon cooled on paper towels on my tiny table where Matt sat, looking like an adult crowded into child-sized furniture.
The sight made me smile despite my embarrassment over last night. “You made breakfast. Well, bacon,” I corrected. Other than that there was no other food. Nor plates or silverware. There were however two mugs of coffee on the table.
“Ahhh, coffee.” I seized the mug closest to me. “You’re…uh, never mind. Thanks.” I’d almost said, You are a God among men. But any kind of flirtation, now that I knew about his vow, seemed disrespectful.
I grabbed a plate and sat across
from him. He was using his new phone to pour through apartment rental listings and I gave him my opinion on whether I thought the prices were reasonable. Since this was Seattle, mostly they weren’t. We were going through the motions of being normal, but it felt forced. Or maybe he was being normal and it was just me?
Feeling antsy, I spotted my mother’s velvet bag on the counter and picked it up. “I have another idea of how to find Liv.” And I needed a break from being in the apartment with the hot, off limits guardian. “I know a guy who offered to help with my magic.”
“A guy?” Matt’s eyes narrowed. “A mage or a warlock?”
“Remind me, what’s the difference?”
“Warlocks are magicborn, like us.” From Matt’s extra patient tone, I could tell that my remedial question depressed him. “Mages are Wonts that do spells using incantations and magical ingredients that they don’t make themselves.”
I described Asher and after about a million questions, we’d determined that Asher was a warlock. We then debated about asking “his kind” for help.
“Warlocks are powerful,” he warned, “but not necessarily best friends to witches.”
I shrugged, feeling frustrated at how Matt had all these preconceived supernatural prejudices that I wasn’t raised with. “Look, all I know is Asher offered to help.”
We argued some more, and Matt didn’t like it when I told him I was doing it anyway. He liked it even less when I told him I was going alone.
“As your guardian, I don’t think that’s a smart idea.”
Anger flared into my hands. It was bad enough Matt was slowing me down with all his questions. Now he was telling me where I could and couldn’t go? “You’re not technically my coven’s guardian yet, Matt. You asked me if I wanted you to be and I haven’t said yes.”
The hurt in his eyes made me instantly regret my words. I knew in that moment that, even though he didn’t want to be with me—or couldn’t even think of a witch as a romantic partner—that he badly wanted to be our guardian. It was shitty of me to hold the question over his head. But I was messed up right now. Matt’s rejection last night, though gentle and understandable, hurt me worse than any other I could recall. I just needed some time away from his damn magnetic presence.
