by Sierra Cross
Damn it. Bailing at 5:00 p.m. on the dot was the hallmark of a slacker, but there was no way I could work anymore today. I hoisted my leather bag over my shoulder and nodded to Braiden. “See you tomorrow. Thanks for all your help getting my system set up this morning.”
“Don’t mention it.” Braiden smiled but didn’t look up from his screen. “We level threes gotta stick together.”
From my perspective as a spy, I’d been disappointed to learn I was a mere level three, like him. That meant no access to the lab, and only the most basic description of what Project Germination was. Apparently, the team was “creating an instrumental gateway using human interfacing neural networks to help users build skills and talents in every aspect of their lives.” Yeah, whatever that meant. I wondered if the marketing writer who spun up that sentence was a demon too, or just another hapless Wont, like Braiden.
As I walked past the lab entrance on my way out, I had to will my eyes from dropping to the vivid purple light I knew would be leaking out under the door.
Keep walking, Alix, you most decidedly don’t want to look into that evil light.
Yet some part of me did. My eyes, my soul, craved a second taste of that wild, mysterious high. Disturbingly, the pull it exerted on me felt stronger than the first time.
As my inner voices battled it out, the automatic door opened and on reflex I turned my head. Instead of the advanced tech bench I expected to see, I caught a glimpse of what looked to be a tree.
This was the “human interfacing neural network” that would supposedly make us all smarter and better?
It was small, standing only about four feet tall, its pointed leaves a vibrant glowing green. Too vibrant to be found in nature. This tree was clearly enchanted. A fine mesh of yellow and green threads of light danced around it, as if they were knitting their way up to the top. The fluorescent purple light that had called to me was being emitted from its trunk and gnarled limbs…
It was suddenly hard to concentrate, let alone keep moving down the hall. Because the tree was screaming—at me.
Its piercing shriek rang in my head, causing me to put my hands over my ears. Correction, it wasn’t screaming at me, it was screaming for me. Wanting me. For what? Wanting me to look at its alluring light again? Then the door slid shut, and the agonizing sound stopped. I turned back to glance at Braiden, but he was still bent over his screen, oblivious.
I sent forth a silent prayer of gratitude that the pain had ended and stumbled into the elevator.
The apartment felt strangely empty when I got home. Matt must have had an early shift at Sanctum, which meant I wouldn’t see him tonight. I should be thrilled to have the place to myself, but a hollow ache of wistfulness pulsed in my throat. Did I miss him? Normally I didn’t get attached enough to guys to miss them—best to keep it that way, I admonished myself. Especially since Matt was the worst possible choice of man for me to get attached to. At least this way I could put off giving him an answer. Put off accepting the fact that he would be in my life but never really mine.
I’d just changed out of my slacks and button down, into my black skinny jeans, boots and leather jacket, when a loud noise made me gasp in panic.
Adrenaline shot through my veins. The screaming tree from Millennium’s lab whizzed through my mind’s eye. But it was just my apartment buzzer. I exhaled, feeling stupid, and walked over to see who it was.
The security camera showed Callie in her pale blue hoodie, her red hair up in pigtails.
“Alix, come down!” Her small freckled face was lit with pride, her body bouncing with an excitement that shook her pigtails. “I finally figured it out! I know where Liv is.”
Three minutes later I was down on the curb where she waited. “Seaplanes,” she said triumphantly, like it was the answer to a game show question. “They take off over Lake Union, right where the scrying pendulum keeps landing.”
“You’re brilliant.” Now I was bouncing up and down. “Liv is flying out of our range. That makes perfect sense.” And none of the rest of us had put it together. “Good job, Callie. But I wonder why she’s taking so many flights?”
“Let’s take your car and go ask her now.” Callie took my elbow, urgency in her voice. “Come on, before she moves again.”
I couldn’t help but smile. It was like watching your kid sister and realizing she’s all grown-up. “Yes, ma’am,” I teased. “I’ll step on the gas.”
As we made our way there through nasty rush hour traffic, Callie cleared her throat.
“Um, so what’s with Matt?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“He seems to think he needs to be officially invited to be our guardian? He left me a text saying he wasn’t coming to our magic lessons from now on until we say we want him to.” She gave me a probing look. “He said ‘we,’ but I get the funny feeling he meant ‘you.’ What’s going on between you two?”
“Nothing…unfortunately.”
Her eyebrows jumped. Crap. I hadn’t meant to say that part out loud. This was why I wasn’t remotely ready to talk to him.
“Alix.” Callie’s voice was tentative, gentle. “You do know that guardians have to take sacred vows—”
“Wow, so even you knew about the freakin’ vows?” Waves of resentment and regret rolled over me. I’d missed out on so much of magicborn culture. Anger heated my hands on the steering wheel, and Callie stared at the golden sparks shooting from them. “Sorry, Callie.” I hadn’t meant to snap at her. It was Marley I was angry at. “It’s just sometimes I think it’s too late for me to learn how to be a witch.”
Callie wasn’t letting the subject go. “So you have feelings for Matt?”
I hesitated. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be tempted to confide in Callie, my former tagalong little sister. But Callie had grown-up, and she seemed like someone I could trust. Sadly, the one I didn’t trust here was me. If I shared my crush, it would only feed the feelings. And I needed those feelings to die. “Not really.” I’d already said too much, especially if Matt was going to be our guardian. “I just think he’s kinda hot.”
To my relief as well as shock, Callie let out a lusty laugh. “Fire’s kinda hot,” she said. “That man’s an inferno.”
The strip of low 1960s office buildings didn’t look anything like an airport, but the signs for Puget Air pointed us around the back to the lake side of the building. Instead of boats being moored to the docks, there were two seaplanes. The office interior looked like a miniature version of an airport gate, only large enough for ten or twelve people.
Behind the counter a tall, slim woman in a midnight blue flight jumpsuit was busy shutting down the computers. Even that getup couldn’t hide her sex appeal. It hugged her curves and was zipped down to show enough cleavage to be alluring, not sleazy. Her thick blond hair was pulled into a carefree bun on the back of her head, but loose tendrils had slipped out and were caressing her face.
Relief flooded me. I’d tried my best to bury the darkest thoughts, but now I could admit part of me had feared that Liv was gone forever, like my parents. Or worse, her body possessed by a Caedis demon. But here she was in front of us, grown-up and beautiful, yes—but the same soul. From the amused spark in her eye, to the rock music she played as she worked, to her casual grace of movement, I recognized my childhood friend across the chasm of a decade. It seemed, somehow, a miracle. Joy bubbled over, rendering me speechless.
“Sorry, ladies.” Barely looking up, Liv dismissed us in a smooth polished voice that I knew hid the boredom she’d always struggled with. “We’re closed for the evening.”
“Liv!” Callie rushed forward and embraced her. “It’s us.”
As Callie was hug attacking her, Liv stiffened in bewilderment and turned to me. “What the…?” A glimmer of recognition crossed her face and the boredom vanished. “Alix?” Her voice suddenly hesitant, like she didn’t want to dare hope. She pulled Callie off her to get a look at her face. “Callie!” They embraced again, and
a smile spread across Liv’s face, crinkling her eyes. Then Callie reached back and yanked me into the hug too. As she did, a surge of power rose from the earth and moved through me like an ethereal wind. It flashed hot and then faded.
“Did you two just feel that?” Liv asked in disbelief.
“Yes!” Callie exclaimed.
I felt my magic like never before. Revved up and pumping in my veins. And I could sense Callie and Liv’s magic. Callie’s felt soft somehow, like being caressed by bunny slippers. Liv’s was sleek, deer-swift. “Matt said this would happen.” My magic was roaring to life. “When there were three of us.” I tried to raise the tingles in my fingertips. For the first time, I got a few spits of golden sparks.
“Uh, who’s Matt?” Liv sounded confused. “And what did he say would happen?”
“It’s kind of a long story,” Callie said. “Why don’t we grab a coffee and talk?”
We headed to Strong Brew and nabbed a booth in the window, forming a tight circle so our conversation didn’t drift out for others to overhear. I decided to ease in to the actual magic portion of the story after we caught up. First, I talked about growing up as a Wont with Aunt Jenn, going to college, tending bar at Sanctum; always feeling aimless, without a place or a home. Callie spoke of living with her overprotective grandparents in Texas. They’d strongly objected to her studying ancient languages and returning to Seattle; they wanted to keep her safe at home.
“After the accident, I moved to Portland, Oregon,” Liv said. “My uncle and his wife adopted me, but they weren’t parental types. They worked all the time, both had tech jobs, and let me do as I pleased. Not that I minded that,” she added wryly. “They were total Wonts though. When I dropped out of college to go adventuring, they were more perplexed than disapproving. It was like they couldn’t understand why someone would want to climb Everest…or stay at an ashram in India…or surf in Australia.”
Callie patted her on the shoulder. “Wow, girl, you’ve really lived!”
“I guess.” Liv shrugged and made a face, like it was all a snooze. “I’d expected to grow up and join the coven with Mom and you two and everyone. When that didn’t happen, everything else seemed unimportant. Almost…unreal.”
I found myself nodding and saw that Callie was too.
“I even got married.” Liv sounded slightly amused. “Didn’t last of course—happily divorced as of last year. That’s when I got my pilot’s license and became part owner of Puget Air, thanks to my ex’s indiscretions and a stupid prenup I never wanted in the first place. But I kept his name. Going back to the old one didn’t feel right.”
Callie and I nodded again. I hadn’t seen these two women in a decade; all our common experiences ended when we were kids, and were followed by very different influences. But we three got each other. Our catching up felt like finding family again.
When we told her about where Matt came from, the demons that attacked us at the cave, and a potential demonic plot at Millennium Dynamics, Liv interrupted to say, “Cool, I’m in!” She grinned and gamely pounded the table with her fist. “Sign me up.”
Callie and I looked at each other. This was what we’d wanted her to say, wasn’t it? But it was weird how Liv hadn’t asked any questions about learning to use her powers. She just jumped in feet first like she was ready for her next adventure. As good as it felt to catch up with her, and as wonderful as my boosted magic felt in my body, something in her approach to joining the coven rang hollow. A skeptical voice in me wondered, would she be all in until she got bored of this too?
“Are you absolutely sure?” I asked her.
Liv laughed. “Alix, you’re getting way too serious in your old age, friend. I said I’m in, you want me to make a solemn vow or something?”
“No, please, no vows.” I had suddenly developed an aversion to the concept.
Callie just smiled and deflected. “Man, it’s so great to all be back together again!”
Funny how I’d once been the peacemaker among the three of us. And Liv, the leader. Not everything had stayed the same.
I texted the bookstore address to Liv’s cellphone. “We meet almost every weeknight at 7:00 to try and get a handle on our magic. Asher’s a bit of a stickler—and he’s doing this as favor—so try to be on time.”
“Yeah, I’ll definitely try to make it when I can.” Liv was watching a muscular guy in motorcycle leathers walk up to the counter.
“Liv, this is serious.” I leaned in to block her view of the guy. “If we don’t learn how to use our magic, we’re toast.”
“Right, I get it.” She rolled her eyes at me. “I’ll be there.”
Callie caught my eye for a split-second, and I’m pretty sure we were both thinking the same thing: yes, we’d found Liv, but she’d grown-up to be a total wildcard. Could we really count on her?
It was late when I got back to my apartment. Before I’d even unlocked the door, I could feel Matt’s presence. The living room was dark, except for the flickering warmth of the fireplace. Matt lay still in front of it, but his breathing told me he wasn’t asleep.
I didn’t bother turning on a light as I made my way around his massive body and plopped down cross-legged in front of him. He sat up, the golden glow of the fire dancing across his shoulder muscles. His dark eyes opened and drank me in, but he said nothing. He was waiting, I knew, for me to speak.
And suddenly I knew exactly what I had to say.
“Yes. The answer is yes. Of course, we want you to be our coven’s guardian. There’s no one I trust more.” Just saying the words made me see how true they were. Why had I felt like I needed to wait, to make some big decision? If it weren’t for Matt, there would be no coven. He was a vital part of all this. “I’m sorry I couldn’t say this to you the other night,” I added, wondering why I felt so choked up. “It’s just that my whole life’s been turned upside down lately. Everything’s happening so fast. And when I get overwhelmed, I shut down—”
“Alexandra, you have nothing to apologize for. But I still need to know.” His eyes searched mine. “Do you want me for a guardian?”
I started to say I’d already told him, then remembered I’d said “we.” Not “I.” Was I hiding my own feelings behind the coven’s needs?
I swallowed. Being unable to tear my gaze from his left me feeling like there was no place to hide. What was Matt really asking here, if being close to him would be too hard for me? Could he sense my depth of emotion for him? The idea of a man being that deep in my head was both scary and tantalizing. But maybe that wasn’t what he was saying at all. And if it wasn’t, I sure didn’t want to drag all that out. As it was, the pull I felt toward him was so strong I feared that if I got too close, it would suck me in and I wouldn’t be able to keep from touching him, kissing him. But I had to; he didn’t want that from me. But he said if he was going to be my guardian I had to let him in. How could I do that and keep him at arm’s length at the same time?
“I really do want you for a guardian.” Honesty was the best approach. “And yes, I wanted more.” My voice dropped down to a near whisper. “But I’m a big girl. I don’t chase after men who don’t want me. I promise this won’t become a problem in our working relationship, okay?” Without thinking, I punctuated my statement by putting my hand on his knee—as I’d done many times before—and instantly regretted it. My fingers wanted to slide up his leg. That made me want to crawl onto his lap, press my whole body against his. I tried to nonchalantly take my hand back without looking awkward, but he grabbed my hand midair and brought it to his face. His skin was hot, rough with stubble. My heart fluttered in my chest and my breath escaped me.
“I took a vow, Alix.” As he said my name his eyes darkened, voice low and unmistakably full of longing. “A vow my brothers died defending. I can’t betray the way of life they fought for. I can’t. No matter what I want.”
And that was the worst thing he could have said, because now I wanted him more. I kept my hand on his face, feeling the stubble
on the ridge of his jaw. I knew in that moment in time, if I were to push it he would tumble. Because I’d been wrong. It wasn’t that he didn’t want me back. He wasn’t giving me space to avoid awkwardness. He was holding on to that vow by the skin of his teeth. His jaw muscles clenched beneath my fingers, as if a chained beast was waiting to be loosed.
It was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I looked him in the eye and said, “You’re my guardian.”
I took my trembling hand back, stood, and walked into my bedroom. Terrified that if I so much looked back my will power would go poof and turn to dust. Like the demons we’d felled in the park on the day I pulled Matt back into this realm. It all seemed so long ago now.
