As for the guy…if you’re looking for a happily ever after and you suspect he isn’t, well, it’s time to kick him to the curb. Now. He doesn’t deserve you. Repeat after me. A guy like that doesn’t deserve a next time.
29
Emma
What’s the one thing you never wish to hear the man you’re falling in love with say to you?
Yep—Travis pretty much nailed it when he told me that someday a man would fall in love with me and never let me down.
What he meant was he wasn’t the man who was capable of falling in love with me and loving me unconditionally.
It was official: I was cursed. Like Sleeping Beauty. She was born to a king and queen who forgot to invite the evil fairy to her christening. The fairy was ill-tempered and got pissed off. She cursed the poor child so that when the princess turned sixteen years old, she would prick her finger on a spinning wheel and die. Luckily for Sleeping Beauty, a good fairy was able to change the curse so the princess wouldn’t die, but would sleep for a hundred years…or until her prince kissed her. True love’s kiss ended the curse and they lived happily ever after.
Great story, except in my case there was no super long nap to contend with—no true love’s kiss to help me. I was cursed forevermore to never find and experience love.
I was just the poor sap who doled out advice on the topic.
Those tears in my eyes? Must be the chlorine in the pool.
“You’re right,” I said, avoiding Travis’s gaze. “I’m sure one day I’ll find an incredible guy who will love me.”
It was a good thing the readers of my column didn’t know the truth about me, or else they’d be storming the paper with pitchforks in hand, declaring I was a fake.
Which I was. A fake everything—including a fake girlfriend.
Hmm. Maybe the paper would be interested in changing things up. I could have a weekly column on how to be a fake girlfriend. Because so far—if you ignored the part about falling in love with Travis—I was rocking that.
“I know you will,” Travis said. “And he’ll be lucky to have you,” he continued, because apparently unwittingly stabbing me in the heart wasn’t enough.
Right. “Well, now that we’ve had that heart-to-heart,” I said, working hard to keep the hurt from my voice, “I think I’ll read now.”
What was I reading? The first Harry Potter book. Again. Why? Because it was a nice reminder that some parents did love their kids. And not only did they love their kids, they were willing to die for them.
I climbed out of the pool, grabbed my towel from where I had folded it on the recliner, and dried myself. Holly and Josh were in their own little world, so I picked up my well-read book, made myself comfortable on the seat, and began reading.
I had read a couple of paragraphs when a shadow fell over me. “Isn’t that a kids’ book?” Travis asked.
“And there’s a problem with that?”
“Not at all. I just pegged you as someone who only reads romances.”
Normally I was—but Harry Potter was one of those few exceptions. “There’s nothing wrong with variety.”
Truth? I thought guys should read at least one romance—preferably erotic romance—to know what women liked. It should be mandatory reading in high school, like Shakespeare. That would save us all a lot of grief.
“True.” He sat on the seat next to mine.
“And what do you read?” All right, my tone might have implied I didn’t believe he read at all. Or at least not novels.
“This and that.”
“So stuff with a lot of car chases in it?”
He chuckled. “My mom got me hooked on the Harry Potter books. She read them first and got a little geeky about them.”
“You’ve actually read the series?” I somehow couldn’t see him being into them, but he would’ve been about ten when the first book came out, so it was possible.
“Did you have any aspirations to go to Hogwarts?” Like I had.
He shifted to the end of my recliner. I moved my feet up to give him more space. “They didn’t play hockey there, so that would be a no. And flying around on a broom while chasing a tiny gold ball with wings wasn’t my thing.”
“Afraid of heights, are you?”
“I’m not a big fan of them. What about you? Were you waiting for your letter?”
I laughed. “You got me. But alas, no such luck.”
He looked away—and I knew not to push him anymore on the topic. It only reminded him of the mother he’d lost.
I opened my book again and disappeared into the story I’d read so many times growing up. But back then, I had borrowed the books from the library because I didn’t have any money to buy my own copies—and there was no way any of my foster parents would have bought them for me.
“You write that newspaper column, don’t you? The Dr. Lovejoy one.” Fortunately, he kept his voice low so that no one else heard him.
But that didn’t stop me from glancing over at the others to double-check.
For a heartbeat, I thought of lying, pretending I had no idea what he was talking about. But the way he was expectantly regarding me caused the wall around that secret to crumble. He already knew so much about me, what was one more thing?
“Yes, I do. But I prefer no one knows it’s me.” Hint. Hint.
“So how come you write it?”
“Because someone asked me to. And because I enjoy it. It’s fun pretending I know what the heck I’m talking about when half the time I probably don’t.” I had meant that last part as a joke, but from the way Travis was staring at me, I got the impression he hadn’t interpreted it the same way.
“I’ve read a few of them,” he said. “Sounds to me like you know what you’re talking about.”
“Says the guy who doesn’t know the first thing about romance.” I looked down at my open book, hoping he’d get the message.
“Hey, I know lots about romance. I just choose not to be romantic. Romance is for guys who want to settle down.”
“Which, as you’ve already established, isn’t you,” I said, my gaze still locked on the words in front of me and doing my best to ignore the tightening in my chest.
Travis didn’t say anything after that, remaining quiet the entire time I read. Eventually, the girls and I started dinner while the men got ready to barbecue the steaks. After our meal, we hit the hot tub.
Before I had a chance to climb in, I spotted a lavender plant nearby. I rubbed a stalk of the fragrant flower between my fingers and inhaled its perfume. “Hmm. I love lavender,” I said to no one in particular. “It was once believed to be the herb of love. Cleopatra was thought to have used it when she seduced men.”
“Maybe you could grow some in your store,” Travis said, “and sell it as a love potion.” He laughed.
“Hey, don’t laugh,” I said, climbing into the hot tub. “Why do you think my lavender scented bath products are so popular?”
He shrugged. “Because girls like the smell of it.”
“Maybe it’s because they’re aware of its magic powers.” I winked at him, knowing his opinion of my so-called magical fountain.
“This is so nice,” Holly said a few minutes later, leaning back against her husband. Above us, the night sky looked like a kid’s art project, with silver glitter sprinkled over black paper.
“It’s gorgeous.” I was sitting next to Travis, a few inches separating us.
Just straddle him and kiss him, a persistent voice said. I swear the voice and my body were in cahoots.
My brain, fortunately, was the voice of reason, so to speak, and pointed out that doing such things would be a big mistake. My heart was bruised enough from everything that had happened in the past.
My heart said fiddlesticks—it was a big girl and could handle so much more.
Fiddlesticks? Clearly Fanny had quite the influence over my heart. It was beginning to sound and think like her.
One thing was for certain though—it wasn’t just Travis I
was falling in love with. The more I got to know them, the more I fell in love with Fanny and Travis’s friends. Just not in the same way I was falling hard for him.
And what was I going to do once this masquerade was over? Yes, Josh and Trent were aware our relationship was fake. Only Holly and Kelsey thought it was real. But would they still wish to hang out with me after our time together had ticked to an end? And would I even want to spend time with them, knowing I could never be with Travis the way I longed to be? Knowing that every time I saw them, my mind would torture me with wistful memories of him?
Yes, I was aware of the irony that I’d finally truly let a man into my heart, had finally quit running because of my fear of being abandoned, and it was all for naught.
After we were finished in the hot tub, I headed to my room for a shower and then bed. It was late and I was slightly buzzed from the wine we’d been drinking.
In the bathroom, I stripped off my clothes and climbed into the large shower. With the lavender scented shower gel, I caressed my body, pretending my hands were Travis’s, giving my breasts extra attention—like he would.
My eyes closed, I slipped my fingers between my legs and brushed them against my clit. It had been begging me since Travis’s and my little tryst earlier to let him give me an encore. “You’d better get used to this,” I muttered. “Only three more weeks and then it will be over.”
I imagined Travis’s fingers touching me, but as close to coming as I was, I just couldn’t quite get there. “Traitor,” I muttered to my aching core. It had only gotten achier since I climbed into the shower, but it still refused to let me visit happy land.
Giving up, I turned off the water and pushed open the glass door. I stepped onto the bath mat—and that’s when I saw it, on the floor, next to my clothes.
A big-ass fucking spider.
I stared at it for a heartbeat while the logical voice in my head tried to reason with me, telling me it was just a harmless spider. Unfortunately, the rest of my brain didn’t care if that was true or not. I did what any red-blooded American who valued their life would do—I screamed.
And this wasn’t just any scream. It could be heard even in Australia.
A moment later the bathroom door flung open, with me standing there completely naked.
Startled by Travis’s abrupt entrance, I stopped screaming.
He took a moment to eye-fuck me—or to check that no one had actually attacked me in the shower. It could have gone either way.
I looked down at the spider…but it was gone.
“What happened?” Travis asked. He was wearing only his jeans, but even the sight of him shirtless didn’t distract me from scanning the room for the evil beast.
“Spider,” I managed to get out. “Big spider!” Where the fuck had it gone?
Two possibilities existed—neither pleasant. Well, three, but I didn’t think I was lucky enough that it had spontaneously combusted.
It had either snuck into my clothes—in which case I would have to burn them. Or it had crawled out the bathroom and was currently plotting to attack me while I slept.
I shuddered at the possibility.
Travis handed me the towel from the rack. With my gaze still searching for signs of the spider, I took it from him and clutched it to my body. A little too late at this point when it came to Travis, but I didn’t need the spider to see me any more naked than it already had. Plus there was always a chance someone else in the house would come to check if I was all right.
“I don’t see it,” Travis helpfully pointed out.
“It’s here somewhere. Please get it out of here.” Yes, that might have been near panic in my voice. Oh, who was I kidding? That was it’s-going-to-kill-me-while-I-sleep full-out panic.
“You’re not afraid of spiders, are you?”
I threw him a what-do-you-think? look. “No, I just thought I could invite him to sleep with me tonight.” I shuddered once more.
“It won’t hurt you. It’s only a harmless spider.”
“How do you know? You never even saw it.” It could have been a black widow for all he knew.
I glanced at my clothes lying innocently on the floor and pointed to them. “Maybe it’s in there.”
Travis picked up each piece of clothing and shook them. Nothing fell out.
Which meant one thing…
The freaking creature was planning to sleep with me tonight.
“I can’t sleep in there,” I said, gesturing wildly at my bedroom. My arm shook as did the rest of me. “It’s in there somewhere, waiting for me.”
Travis looked in the direction I was pointing. “If it makes you feel better, you can sleep with me tonight.”
I eyed him for a moment. What were the chances of the spider crawling into his room while we slept? Probably not as high as it staying in my room and terrorizing me.
“Maybe you could try catching it.” Then I wouldn’t have to sleep with Travis and I wouldn’t have to worry about it tracking me down.
Travis let out an it’s-just-a-harmless-spider sigh and turned to leave.
“Where are you going?” I asked, my voice back to its previous state of panic.
“To look for it while you get dressed.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He left the room and I quickly toweled myself off. Two minutes later I was standing in the middle of my room, wearing only a skimpy pair of sleep shorts covered in hearts and a plain white tank top. Both were well-worn, the fabric thin. Which meant there was no hiding the fact that I didn’t have a bra on.
Under any other circumstance, I would have been slightly mortified, but a big spider loose in my room trumped all.
Travis looked behind the chair by the window, then walked to the dresser and looked under it.
“Any sign of it yet?” I inwardly groaned. Of course he hadn’t found anything. If he had, he wouldn’t still be searching for it.
“It could be anywhere—and if it doesn’t wish to be found, it won’t be.”
I glared at him. “You’re really not making me feel better.”
That goddamn sexy smirk on his face? It almost made me forget about the spider. Almost. “I know what I can do to make you feel better.”
“Kill the spider?”
He leaned in. “Fuck you so hard you’ll see stars and forget about it.”
That was definitely tempting. “Did you mean it when you said I can sleep with you tonight?” I asked, scanning the room in case the spider had crawled out of hiding.
“Yes.”
“Even though you hate sleeping with women?”
“Define sleeping.”
I rolled my eyes. “You know what I mean. When was the last time you actually slept through the night with one?”
“Not for a few years, I guess.”
Why didn’t I suggest we switch rooms? Because if the spider did sneak into his room and I saw it, I needed Travis there to get rid of it.
“Well, you’ll be happy to learn that I don’t bite,” I said.
“Maybe I do,” he said in the voice that always got my girlie parts excited.
Yes—that was my moan…combined with a yawn.
Having a spider scare you to death sure took a lot out of you. The wine and hot tub didn’t help either. But thanks to the monster now inhabiting my room, the happy buzz had long since vanished.
Travis parked his hand on my lower back and nudged me toward the bedroom door. “C’mon, sleepyhead.”
“I have to brush my teeth first. Guard me while I do that, okay?” I didn’t wait for his reply. I trudged back to the bathroom and quickly got ready for bed.
He stood in the bathroom doorway, looking breathtaking. Like my own sexy bodyguard—ready to take down all scary spiders that approached me.
In his bedroom, I considered for a second placing pillows between us on the bed but quickly discarded the idea. We’d already had sex—twice. Creating a barricade between us wasn’t much of a deterrent. If Travis desired sex, my traitorous body
was hardly going to say no. If anything, he was more at risk of me jumping him. Spider or no spider, my girlie parts still ached from my unfulfilling shower.
“Which side of the bed do you want?” I asked.
“The left side.”
I slipped under the cover, curled up on my side, and closed my eyes. “Goodnight, Travis. And thanks.”
“For what?”
I felt his side of the bed dip slightly. “For letting me stay in your room.”
“You’re welcome. Now go to sleep.”
Easier said than done. I might have been tired a few minutes ago, but between Travis’s delicious scent now invading my space and my still aroused body, sleep evaded me.
I shifted position, but it didn’t make a difference. I turned onto my back and stared at the ceiling.
“Can’t sleep, huh?” he asked.
“No, I’m good.” At least I would be once my girlie parts settled down for the night.
I shifted again. Nope—still not happening.
“I can help you fall asleep.”
Even without looking at him, I could tell he was smiling. “How?”
Yes—I had my suspicions too about what he had in mind. The smile in his voice gave it away.
He didn’t answer. Well, not with words anyway. He rolled over and his lips were on mine. And because I had no intention of saying no or playing hard to get, I let him in.
That wasn’t the only part of him that got busy. His cock hardened against my hip and his palm cupped my breast. So I did the only thing I was capable of—I groaned.
He pinched my nipple and I groaned even louder.
“Like that?” he asked against my lips.
“Very much.”
“Hmmm. Wonder what else you would enjoy.” And he proceeded to find out.
My clothes were off in record time. His too. Not that it took much to remove his boxer briefs.
“I’ve missed the taste of you,” he said, bending my knees and moving my legs apart. He nipped his way down my inner thigh, rubbing his stubble against my skin. I squirmed at the erotic sensation and bit my lip so no one else could hear what we were up to.
Decidedly With Love Page 16
