by Jan Carol
Jenà wasn’t sure how to answer her. She felt it was right. Ethan did too. "I guess the next six months will tell, won’t they?" She didn’t need to think about it. Jenni was speaking what in her mind, which could create doubts Jená had worked out in her mind, but Jenni didn’t mean to.
The party was hectic, with all the guests in groups, new people from the neighboring area and some business associates mingled among them, the staff darting around, carrying trays of hors d’oeuvres and drinks. The diningroom had been set up, as there would be a big feast after an hour or so of conversation.
Jenà was kept beside Ethan, and she listened acutely to things the others talked to him about. It was interesting to know that one of the businesses he had interest in was a recording studio. One of the men asked if he was planning to introduce her to the right people.
With one look at the woman beside him, he knew he had better clear things up before she answered that question herself. "No, Andrew. Jenà isn’t interested in a career like that. I support her feelings."
"What? With what I’ve heard about her voice?" He spoke as if she wasn’t there. "I can’t believe you wouldn’t be cashing in on her talent." He leaned forward, lowering his voice. "I do believe you could make a quick million without lifting a finger next year. A man would be a complete fool to sit and do nothing because she’s too shy to face a large crowd of fans."
Ethan knew if he wasn’t quick enough, he would be hearing it come out of her mouth a bit stronger than he would say it. "You know, Andrew, we’ve lived different lives." It was as though he was consoling the man. "Neither of us can say what circumstances have been enough, which have been too much. As I said, I’ll stand behind her decision."
Their conversation continued, the subject quickly changed by Ethan, to avoid anything upsetting to either of his friendships.
<<<< jc >>>>
Chapter Six
AFTER THE elegant dinner, champagne glasses were brought out and filled with light amber, bubbly liquid. Ethan tapped his water glass lightly with a knife, getting the attention of his guests. He stood with a serious look on his face.
"I have an announcement." He raised his empty hand asking Jenà to come to his side, though there weren’t too many inches between them. His arm went around her waist. "I know most of you think it high time, but it takes time to find the right woman. I want you to know how much I love this beautiful woman, and I’ve asked her to stand at my side the rest of our lives."
The room filled with noise of good wishes from friends. Jenà blushed. She assumed he would let his friends know, but not in so old-fashioned a way. The only thing missing was for him to have asked her father for her hand in marriage.
"To the groom and his beautiful bride-to-be, and to a long and happy life together." It was the doctor who had stood, raised his glass in the air and spoke. Everyone in the room got to their feet, following the gesture.
When Ethan’s glass was empty, he set it down, taking the one from her hand, pulling her into his arms. "I do love you, Jená." His voice was so quiet, but the room’s silence was soon broken with razzing and whistles as he kissed her into a tizzy.
When she was finally let go, her arms rested on his shoulders, hands clasped behind his neck. "If you do that again, Ethan Ayers, I’ll not be going anywhere, any time." She whispered to him, knowing the people closest might have heard.
"I hope that’s a promise, because I intend to repeat that very soon." The brown eyes sparkled with a golden light that promised what he spoke.
As everyone began leaving the room going back to the living room, the couple accepted happy wishes and hugs and a few kisses from those who knew him best. The doctor waited until the last, smiling largest.
"I knew there was more than just her voice being gone that bothered you, Ethan." He teased the man who was holding Jenà close. "I’ve known you since you were knee high to a grasshopper, and I can’t say I’ve ever seen you so upset about anything, as when you came to take me down to check Miss Wisdom’s throat. I’m glad to see such contentment about you." He was long winded. "So, when is the big day?"
"Not far in the future." Ethan gave her a knowing look. "I tried to get her to agree to tonight, but you know women." At his teasing, he received a small jab from her elbow, unnoticed by the doctor.
"Uh-huh. And do I get the privilege of having your firstborn named after me?" He chuckled at the look she gave him.
"I don’t see what for, John." Ethan laughed with him. "Unless you know something I don’t." Seriously he looked from the doctor to Jenà, who stood shaking her head slowly at him, with a puzzled look.
"Is there something I should know?" John looked seriously at him, then at Jenà, seeing he had embarrassed her unnecessarily, but he continued, "Should we schedule an appointment?"
"No!" she let him know quickly. No other words were spoken on the subject at the look she gave her husband-to-be.
The party continued as music was played and everyone began dancing. Toward midnight, Ethan took Jenà aside, no one else seemed to notice. Looking up at him curiously, he answered by taking her left hand.
"Would you mind wearing my grandmother’s engagement ring?" He slipped it on for size, finding it slipped on easily. "It’s just that I’ve not had the time..."
Jenà stood up on tiptoes and kissed him. "I’d be honored. I wouldn’t think of trading it in for another, if you want me to wear it forever."
Silently he took her in his arms, kissing her once more as he had promised he would. It didn’t take a second before the music was drown out by loud clapping and general noise, as they were spotted in the corner.
<<<< >>>>
MONDAY MORNING dawned quietly. She woke just as the sun peaked over the horizon. Silently she dressed and walked down the hall and stairway to the front room. The walk she took to the edge of the river was cool. A lingering fog kept her from seeing much across the other side. The grass was still wet from the dew, but she didn’t care as she sat, knees bent, arms hugging them.
In the fresh morning air she thought about the years that were ahead for her and Ethan. How could he ever think she wouldn’t like his home. If he had just told her the history of it, she would have loved it sight unseen. It could have been a little shack, for all she cared. It was part of him and his family. That was all that mattered.
The longer she sat thinking, the more she felt she should call her agent to tell him she wasn’t coming back. She didn’t care about the things she had there, not even the contract he held over her. Her life felt complete with Ethan.
"Is this spot reserved for anyone in particular?" His voice had startled her. "If no one else is coming to claim it, may I?"
The smile that met him needed no words. Her thoughts had been about him, and he sensed it. After a short kiss, she wished him a good morning, then found herself being laid back in the still damp grass.
"Is that a proper way of greeting the man who is going to be your husband for many, many years?" His kiss was as deep as it had been the night before.
"I’m going to call and tell Donaho I’m not coming back." She spoke with the defiance she felt, as if he would argue with her over the decision. And to her surprise, that was exactly what he did.
"We’ve decided that already, as you’ve reminded me every chance you get." He sat up, hugging his knees to him as she had been doing when he joined her. "You can’t just quit, it wouldn’t be good for your name if you later decided to do something with singing again."
She sighed, mocking his posture. "I thought you were trying to talk me out of it, especially when you kissed me again last night and just now. Now you’re going to send me away?" Her words pouted at him, as did her lips. "I’m getting very confused. You want me to stay when I want to go. Then when I change my mind, so do you."
"I don’t want you to go, Jenà. But I know you have to. The next few months are going to go so fast, we’ll be an old couple with grandchildren running around before you know it." The fog was lifting quite rap
idly. The opposite shore was much as the one they sat on.
"It’s so beautiful here. I don’t want to leave it, or you. I feel at home already." Again she lay back, wishing she could get him to change his mind once more. She’d give anything to hear him say they would be married before the sun set. "Would you make love to me before I leave?"
He was still for a long time, looking for the right words to say, then he lay on his side, propped on one elbow, moving a curl from her forehead. "I’ve given a lot of thought to your request to be married before I take you to my bed." Though he was serious in words and tone, he grinned. "I want you in such a way, to say no hurts. But, to say yes would go against everything my mother and grandmother stood for. You were right in your suggestion."
She lay there looking up through the tree above them, knowing everything he said was true. She wanted to go against it, but the love she felt for this place said no. Something would be spoiled if they didn’t listen to their hearts.
"I had your car brought up last night." His voice was gentle. "I’m not trying to get you to leave any sooner than you have to, but I know you need to get things ready before tomorrow night." He saw the tears beginning. "Please, don’t cry, Jenà. It’s going to be hard enough to see you go."
Without words, she rolled away from him, stood and ran up the hill. Once inside, she locked the bedroom door and took all of two minutes packing her suitcases. She felt he had let her down. But as she held her hands together, the feel of his grandmother’s ring on her finger reminded her that if he was trying to tell her things had gone too far between them, that he couldn’t marry her, the first thing he would have done was to ask for the ring back. Standing at the bared window, she heard the key in the lock. With a quiet snort of laughter, she told herself she should have known. He had a key to every lock, even the one her heart had been secured with.
"Jenà, please don’t try to lock me out." His voice was so gentle, his words having a double meaning. "I don’t want to be shut out of your feelings, either. I know it’s hard for you to go back to Atlanta, as much as it’s hard for me to let you go."
She didn’t know what to say, but she didn’t want him to hold her just then. "If you’ll tell me where my car is, and my keys, I’ll be on my way." She walked from the window, away from him. "You’re right about my having a lot to do before I go back to work tomorrow night."
He stood by the window where she had been, watching her. "Jenà?" She continued picking up her things, then walked to the door. "Please, Jenà."
"Ethan, I’ve got some thinking to do, and I do my best thinking on the road. Please tell me where I’ll find my car." Because she carried her three things, she couldn’t open the door he had shut when he came into her room.
"I’ll come to Atlanta Friday night." With a deep sigh, he opened the door for her, reaching to relieve her of the two pieces of luggage.
"I’m working Friday night, Ethan. I’m sorry I won’t have time to visit with you." Walking down the hall, she heard his footsteps behind her. "Besides, it’s over two hundred fifty miles, a long drive after you’ve worked all day."
Down the stairs they walked as he talked. "That ought to put me there in time to pick you up when you get off. We can go to your apartment..."
"Not this weekend, Ethan." Though she couldn’t tell him why if he asked, she had said it. "I really think we need time to think about what we’re doing."
Ethan opened the front door walking her to the garage. Inside, he put her things in the trunk, then handed her the keys as he took her guitar and put it beside the luggage. Before she was in the car, he had her in his arms, she trying to get away. "I don’t know about that. I have no doubts about us getting married. I hope I haven’t given you anything to worry about."
"Nothing that wasn’t already there. I’ll give you a call this weekend, all right?" She continued trying to get away from him, but found she couldn’t. "Please, Ethan, don’t." Her words were ignored as he held the back of her head, pressing his lips on hers.
As he continued, he felt all the fight leaving her. The stubbornness he had felt was almost nonexistent by the time he raised his head from hers, holding her tightly. "Jenà, I don’t want you to go. Please don’t be upset with me for sending you off."
When he let her have a little freedom, she took advantage of it. Reaching down, she opened the door, sat, and closed it between them. He bent, leaning in the opened window. "I’ll call you, okay?" She turned the key, but not her head. She knew he would kiss her again, and she couldn’t stand it if he did.
"I’ll be right here, waiting. I love you, sweetheart." He knew she wouldn’t look at him again, so he kissed her cheek and straightened, letting her have her way with the car. He was still standing there when she was out of sight. She hadn’t told him she loved him. Looking at his watch, he would give her exactly five and a half hours to get home. He would call her so he could hear those words from her.
<<<< >>>> SHE FELT awful because she hadn’t returned the words she knew he had wanted to hear. The further she drove, the worse she felt about it. She did love him, and couldn’t deny it. Being silent when she needed to tell him those words showed the childishness in her.
Seeing an off ramp ahead she decided to pull off, find a phone and call him before another mile was under the tires, to let him know how much love she had for him, and then she would apologize for the way she had acted.
Dialing his number, she let it ring fifteen times before deciding he wasn’t going to answer. She would have to put up with the guilt all the way home. Taking a deep breath, she continued driving the northwest freeway that would take her to the city where her apartment was. She couldn’t call it home anymore because it didn’t have that feel.
Would he be understanding? Had he become angry with her? He had probably gone to his office, as he was supposed to have done. With no guests or staff left, he was alone. There was no reason for him not to go in.
She wished she could turn back and apologize in person. That would make her feel much better, but it would also be a guarantee that she wouldn’t get back to Atlanta. She would flat refuse to leave him again.
When she walked into her apartment, she knew she had to find a reason to stay. The nightly jobs didn’t seem enough to keep her, not when she’d left so much in Savannah. Picking up the phone, she dialed his home number again, finding he still didn’t answer. Hanging up, she had to look for his office number. He’d given her both numbers, but she hadn’t thought there would be a need to memorize the other one.
Quickly she dialed the numbers, hearing three rings then a woman’s voice answered, telling her the number she had dialed couldn’t be connected, and would she please hang up and try again. She sat rather heavily in the chair beside the table that held the phone. Slowly she dialed the numbers again, and this time the woman who answered wasn’t a recording. Politely she asked for Ethan Ayers, giving her name before she was asked.
"I’m sorry, Miss Wisdom, Mr. Ayers hasn’t returned. If you’d like to leave a message..." The voice had a youngish sound. Jená pictured the woman as being beautiful, tall and shapely.
"No. Don’t bother to tell him I called. I’ll keep trying his home. Thanks." She hung up the receiver and went to the kitchen. After a cup of coffee, she would try again. She’d also have to call Donaho to let him know she was back in time to go to work. That would put a grin on his face, as he had begged her not to go off.
"What if something should happen? You might get stranded out there." His tone had been one of worry, but she had gone anyway, sure nothing would happen, and she had come back as planned, even though it was a few days later than it was supposed to be.
But something had changed. Her heart had been left in Savannah. She knew being away from him would greatly effect her ability to sing the way she had before Ethan Ayers came into her life.
As she filled the kettle, she could hear the telephone ringing in the living room. Setting the thing on the burner, she didn’t take the time to turn on
the gas. It could be Ethan and she didn’t what to waste another precious second.
After her initial greeting, the voice that filled her ear wasn’t the one she longed to hear. Rather, it was the relieved voice of her agent. "Jenà, you’re home. Darling, sweetheart, I was beginning to sweat. You sure know how to put pressure on, don’t you?" His voice sounded sticky-sweet.
"Now, Donaho, I told you I’d be back. I’ve never let you down, have I?" She wound the cord around her finger, thinking of Ethan.
"You were supposed to be in two nights ago, not this afternoon. I’ve been trying to call you since five o’clock last night. I’ve had no sleep at all." She heard the weariness he spoke of.
"It isn’t good for your heart to worry so," she warned him. "Your blood pressure goes up, you don’t eat right..."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. I got that from my wife all night long. You see what you did? You’ve kept both of us up and upset." His tone had soured just for those words, but then was back to the sweet excitement dripping from his words. "Anyhow, baby, I need you to come in right away. This terrific song came in just this morning, written just for you. Someone sent it special delivery. It’s super. I can’t wait to hear you sing it. This could be our ticket up." His excitement had been catchy, until those last words hit her as if they had been his fist.
"Whoa! I’ve heard enough right there." Her voice was almost cold. "You know how I feel. I’m where I want to be, able to take care of myself and able to enjoy singing at the same time. Don’t go spoiling this, please."
"Jenà." The excitement seemed to have drained from him. "You know I only want what you want. But it’s so damn hard when I know your potential. I know how much you’d mean to millions of people if you would just put it out." He knew to close his mouth, or he might not see her until dooms day.
"I’ll be in shortly, Donaho. I just walked in the door a few minutes ago, and I’d like to shower and put on cooler clothes. It’s getting warm out there." She switched ears as she spoke, taking the shoes off her feet.
