Over breakfast, he lets me know that once he drops me back off at the salon, he’s going to have Bandit come over and put in a security system so not to go up until they let me know it’s finished. My apartment isn’t huge, but I imagine that they’ll make a mess, something that’ll drive me crazy. “Okay. I think I’d feel better to be honest.”
“I’ve got church today as well. But when I’m done and you’re finished working, I’d like us to go out to dinner.”
“Well, we’ve both gotta eat and I’m sure it’s going to be a late day.”
“Bridget? It’s a date, sweetheart. Y’know, when a man asks a woman out?”
“I...well, hell. I’ve never been on a date before. And I’m not stupid, Capone.” Now I’m a little angry with his condescending comment. “I know what a date is. Just because I haven’t had one, or realize I’m being asked on one, doesn't mean you get to talk down to me like that.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you, but I have to say, I like the feisty side of you. I was just trying to lighten the mood and make you laugh. But I’ll take pissed off too, because it’s sexy as fuck on you.” Me? Sexy, wow. I kind of like that he sees me like that, because I know I’ve never thought of myself in that manner.
“I can tell by the look on your face that you don’t believe you’re sexy, but I gotta tell you, Bridge, you are. You may not believe me yet, but you will.”
“Hmmm...that’s yet to be seen. I’ll have to take your word for it.”
“Sexy, sassy and spirited. Gotta say, I like these mannerisms. Keep them up, and one day you won’t have any way to stop me from claiming what I want.”
“And what’s that?” Yes, I’m still feeling sassy, as he says.
“You,” he states like he’s telling me the sky is blue. So matter of fact, like I have no say in the matter. I have to say, I like this side of him too, but I’ll never tell him that.
“You think so, huh?”
“Oh, sweetheart, it’s a fact. I’m making my intentions known right here, and right now. You are mine, in all ways. I will never let you go, especially once I taste you.”
“Ta..taste me?” I ask, gulping.
“Your lips, both of them, your skin...every single inch of you.” Oh dear, I think I need a fan...it suddenly got very hot in here.
“Is it hot in here to you?” I ask pulling at the collar of my shirt. He begins laughing and I squint my eyes in his direction. “What’s so funny?”
“You are, but let’s not talk about that now. Let’s get you out of here so you can cool off.” He’s still laughing! I want to wipe that smirk off his face! Wait a minute. This is not me. Who is this woman? Something to speak with my therapist about I presume.
“So, Bridget, how was graduation?” Dr. Rawlings asks. I like her a lot, even when it’s harder than hell to talk about something. She’s been a godsend in so many ways.
“It was wonderful! My sister and all her friends were there and they threw me a graduation party at the clubhouse.”
“And was your young man there?”
“You mean Capone? He’s not mine,” I state.
“Isn’t he though?” I stop and think about it. Is he mine?
“How do you mean?” I need her to clarify before I answer the question. Or as my sister would say, Goober in the corner. I nearly giggle at the memory, but don’t want to seem immature, so I concentrate on the conversation at hand.
“He’s been diligent about bringing you to your appointments when he’s in town. He’s sat in on several sessions. And don’t try to fool me, I know what you were attempting to do when you had him come in. You were trying to chase him away. Bridget, I see something in him that is good for you. And I’ll repeat once again, you are not your past. What you were forced to do doesn’t make you dirty or less than. It just is.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to get my hopes up because when he knows what I did, he’s going to flee.”
“Alright, so let’s talk about it then, okay? You have to tell me what it is you believe you’ve done that’s so bad he’d run away.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath before nodding.
“You know what he made me do so I’m not gonna rehash that part. Anyhow, I was nineteen and got pregnant. I didn’t know, of course, who the father was. But Charlie forced me to get an abortion. While I couldn’t have brought a child into that environment, I still feel so guilty about killing my baby! I...I don’t even know if I can still have kids.”
“Let’s break it down. One thing at a time. The guilt is a normal thing and is something you and I can work through. You’re correct. Bringing a child into that environment would have been hell on earth for that child. You were very young and not emotionally mature enough to handle what was happening to you already. So a child would have been a recipe for disaster. Did you willingly go to have this abortion?”
I think back to that time in my life and tears start to fall. “No...I had told him that I would just give the baby up for adoption. He laughed in my face then hit me so hard he knocked me out. When I woke up, I was restrained on a table and someone, I presume a doctor, but I can’t be sure, was between my legs. I was in so much pain I passed out. The next time I woke up, I was back in my room, bleeding profusely and wanting to die.”
“Did you have any follow-up medical care?” she asks me, and I can hear the worry in her voice when she does.
“Yes, my mother came in while lucid and saw I was bleeding and she called the ambulance. I was taken to the hospital and they did some other things to me. I don’t remember what they were called, but the end result was the same. I wasn’t pregnant anymore.” My tears are falling so hard now that I know my eyes are going to swell shut.
“Bridget? Do you want me to get Capone?” she gently asks. I nod. Right now, I need the strength his arms can provide, even if what I say causes him to turn and run in the opposite direction. I can hear her get up and go to the door. Then I feel him gently lift me and pull me into his arms.
“Shhh, I gotcha, Bridge. Never letting go, y’hear?” he whispers in my ear.
“You...you might…” I stammer out.
“Bridget, do you need me to fill him in?” I’m still sobbing so hard I can’t catch my breath, so I nod instead. “Capone, Bridget was talking about guilt she feels over something that happened years ago. She got pregnant and her brother had an illegal abortion performed on her after he knocked her out.”
I feel his arms tighten around me, his breathing quickens as he kisses my head. “Oh, God, Bridge, you had to be terrified. If he weren’t already dead, I’d find him and kill him myself, the motherfucker!”
“I...I don’t know if I can even have kids, Capone. And how can I bring other children into this world when I didn’t keep my first?”
“Baby, it sounds like it wasn’t your choice to have this. Even if it was, knowing you like I think I do, you wouldn’t have brought that baby into that hell.”
“Never. But I was going to put it up for adoption because there’re so many people who can’t have kids. He stole that from me!” The tears that have been falling start easing up as anger over the situation rises within me.
“That’s it, Bridge, get angry. I can understand the guilt to an extent, but none of what happened to you is on you at all. Getting angry lets you put the blame where it truly belongs, on him and his asshole cronies.”
“Bridget, you may not think so now, but you’ve just taken a huge step in the right direction in your healing. I think a lot of your nightmares will start easing, young lady. Now, what are you planning to do?”
“I need to be checked to see if I can have kids or not.”
“I’ll be there with you, you know that, right?” Capone questions.
I know my smile is tentative, but I do it anyway. “Yeah. I’m beginning to see you’re a man of your word.”
“I’ll never lie to you. And if I make you a promise, I will keep it. That’s a guarantee,” he says, and I nod my head, because I believe him.
Capone
The anger I felt for her brother when I heard what he made her do, has me barely controlling my temper. But for her, I’ll hold it in until I can find someone to take it out on. We leave and head towards the house, I decide to make a detour...I know she’ll have nightmares tonight, and there’s no way I’ll be sleeping anywhere but in the same room as she does. I stop at a furniture store and she looks at me in confusion.
“Listen, I’m not trying to overstep here, but I’m not sleeping anywhere but your room. And your floor is uncomfortable as shit.”
“So, we’re here to get you a bed to place in my room?”
“We have two options here. I’m definitely getting you a new bed,” I put my hand up to stop her before she berates me, “it’s my gift to you for your new place, deal with it.”
“Whatever. What are these options you were speaking of?” she huffs out, causing me to smile internally.
“One, we can get a big enough bed to where I sleep next to you.”
“Or?” she cuts me off. Damn sisters!
“Or, we can get two queen-sized beds to place in your room. Because a twin won’t hold me,” I say, staring at her waiting for her next argument.
“Two queen-sized beds won’t fit in my room! Do you not remember how small it is?” I smile, because I actually do.
“Fine! One king-sized bed coming up. Might wanna get out and keep up, Bridge.”
“Wait! What?” she asks, jumping out and following me into the store.
“You heard me, I know I didn’t stutter. Let’s go, we’ve got a bed to pick out and I’ll need you to help me test out mattresses.” I snap my fingers to get her moving along since she’s dragging her feet.
“Do not snap your fingers at me! I am not a damn dog!” I grab her hand and smile at her because fuck, she has me hard as nails with her attitude.
“I’m so fucking turned on right now,” I tell her.
“Huh? I’m so confused right now. How is me being mad at you turning you on?”
“Because you’re sexy as fuck when you throw attitude at me. It means you’re growing more comfortable around me and secure enough in yourself that you know I’ll never hurt you. There’s no changing my mind though. You’re the one who chose one bed, not me. I just had a solution to your compromise.”
“What did I agree to? All I said was that two queens wouldn’t fit...how on earth did that mean I made a decision?” I just laugh and drag her along with me, I know it was a sly move on my part, but it was a necessary one to get our relationship moving along to the next level. She removes her hand from mine, slaps her hands on her thighs and stomps her foot. Fuck, she’s hot when she does this. Something else I can add to the ever growing list of things I want to see from her.
“I’m not moving from this spot until you explain this to me.”
“Okay, let me break this down for you. I gave you two options. You chose the single bed. I’m a big guy, sweetheart, I need one that will fit the two of us. So that means a king. Now, let’s get one picked out, so I can drop you off at work...capiche?”
“Why do I feel like I’ve been taken for a ride that I wasn't a part of?”
“No ride, Bridge, and I promise that nothing will happen until you’re ready.”
“Capone...we’ve talked about that! I may never be ready.” I highly doubt that fact, but I’ll let her believe that lie if it helps her.
“And I told you I was a patient man. Now, do you prefer a firm mattress or a soft one?”
“I’ve always wanted one of those memory foam ones. You know the ones that keep you cool while you sleep but cradle you? Wait a minute! What did I just agree to here? You keep changing the subject. How the hell do you do that?”
“It’s an art, sweetheart. Let’s get that memory foam thing you were just talking about.”
“I guess I might as well just go along. I’m not going to get my way about this. Am I?”
“Nope,” I tell her and walk up to a salesman who has been eyeing us since we walked into the store.
“May I help you, sir?”
“Yes, we need a very sturdy king-sized bed. My woman wants one of those top of the line memory foam mattresses. And I need it today.”
“I can definitely help you with that. Follow me and I’ll show you the options we have in a king.”
“Don’t forget sturdy, I need something that will hold up.” I hear Bridget moan beside me. I look over and notice her face is beet red. I wink at her and grin, enjoying seeing her so discombobulated.
“Stop, Capone! He’ll think we, you know, do it,” she says quietly.
“What? You mean fuck? You are my woman, many people will have that assumption.”
“Um...what? Why?”
“Because you’re mine, I’m yours, and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll keep drilling that into your head until you get it.”
“I think I need another appointment with Dr. Rawlings to figure out how to deal with you.”
“Naw, it’s all good, sweetheart. Just try to keep up, okay? I may be a patient man, but I hate repeating myself.”
“Me too, but that doesn’t seem to stop you,” she says to me.
“I’m a man set in my ways. And when I see something I want, I go all in for it. There is no stopping me. I thought you’d realized that by now. Let’s get our bed picked out and get out of here. Another thing you need to know about me is that I fucking hate shopping, so please let’s get this done and out of here before I get cranky. Stop debating everything to death, nothing's going to change.”
“And what about the sheets and stuff?”
“Figured you and your sister could go get those. I like the soft sheets, by the way.”
“Of course you do,” she mutters, throwing her hands in the air. Right now, I wish I could kiss her. The look on her face keeps going between confusion and bemusement, with a little bit of what-the-fuck-is-he-doing-to-me tossed in for good measure. I figure fuck it, she won’t keep her mouth shut so I’ll shock her to where she doesn't have a choice. I grab her hands and pull her body into mine and lay my lips down on hers. She gasps, so I throw my tongue into it and the next thing I know, she’s joining me. I’m surprised she isn’t pushing me away, but I’ll take every win I get. When we pull back she has a stunned look on her face. I pull her behind me and join the salesman. She’s quiet and reserved now but finds what she likes and agrees to it. I want to do a fist pump and scream score, but I don’t think she’d appreciate that so I don’t. Plus, it’d seriously fuck with that badass biker vibe I try to portray. But there’s no way I can wipe this deep, satisfied smile off of my face.
“C’mon, Bridge, let’s get you to work,” I tell her once we’ve checked out. “Here, take this cash so you and Hannah can get the sheets and shit we’ll need for the bed.” I hand her the wad of twenties I keep on me. I figure it should be enough, but I’d rather her have too much than not enough to get what she wants.
“I can buy it, Capone.”
“Nope. You made the decision for one bed and I need the bigger one, so I’m buying.”
“Will I win if I push the issue?” she questions.
“How have you done so far this morning?” I ask back.
“Fuck. Fine. I’ll shop.”
“You don’t like shopping?”
“I actually enjoy it, but right now, I’m feeling a bit off center.” Yep, my plan is working. Okay, so maybe I pushed the first kiss thing, but other than that, I’m moving down the list.
“If you have some time today, why don’t you make that doctor’s appointment too. Let’s get that concern out of the way so we can deal with whatever it is and move on.”
“Move on? Just like that?” she asks.
“Just like that, we’ll deal. I promise you whatever the outcome is, I’ll be right by your side. We’ll sit and talk, and devise a game plan.”
“You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you?” she mutters, giving me a sideways glance. I grin because where she’s con
cerned, I’ll always have an answer.
Four
Bridget
I walk through the front door of the salon and slam my purse down on my station. “Insufferable, know-it-all, alphahole bikers!” I holler out, as I sit in my chair.
“Um...what’s crawled up your ass today?” DJ asks me. She’s sitting in Cassarah’s chair, and both of them are looking at me like I’m fixing to pull an exorcist.
“You want to know? You really want to know? Are you sure?” I ask, huffing and puffing, still pissed off at his...his...controlling.
“Let me guess. Capone has gone all Neanderthal on you,” she states. “It’s about fucking time he got off the pot.”
“Neanderthal, yes, add that to the list! Wait, what?” I all but shout. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Fuck does that mean!” screeches Emma. Fuck my life. I grab my purse and pull out a twenty. This is gonna cost me. Standing, I go over to the swear jar and toss it inside, ignoring Cassarah’s glare. Emma repeats pretty much everything she hears, especially curse words. While she’s heard this one before, we all try hard to contain ourselves. Only today, I’m beyond caring. And if it means I dig into his cash a little more, so be it! Serves him right! Fucking asshole! I can’t believe the gall of him.
“Growing old waiting over here,” DJ sing-songs as Cassarah continues to foil in her highlights.
“Well, you see, apparently, Capone plans to stay with me. And somehow, and I still don’t know how it happened, I have a king-size bed being delivered today. One that is sturdy, no less! He made sure to emphasize that to the salesman...right in front of me! And he kissed me in front of the salesman too! I can’t even right now.”
“Good for him,” Hannah says, and I give her a death glare. Why is everyone on his side? They should be on mine! Women should always have each other’s backs, or so I’ve been told.
“How was it?” Cassarah asks.
Capone_Rebel Guardians MC Page 5
