by Sharon Booth
Star, Benedict and a disgruntled Paypacket had left not long afterwards, as Star wanted an early start the following morning.
Jethro and Sky stayed a while longer, chatting excitedly about Jethro's return to form and fame. When Castor started yawning loudly, though, they said goodnight, scooped up Belle and left for home.
'That was a lovely evening,' Mother said. 'Even with Aurora's unfortunate reaction to Indian cuisine.'
'Yes, we must remember in future to stick to blander dishes when she's invited,' Sirius said, grinning.
'Did you see your Father's face when he thought she was in labour, though?' Mother said. 'He's a nervous wreck. He was never this afraid when I was expecting any of you.'
Castor cackled with glee. 'What a rum do that was. Thought he would need an ambulance himself. Can't see him being with her when she has the bairn, can you?'
'He was never with me when I gave birth,' Mother mused. 'Although, I was rather glad about that. He'd have been a real nuisance.'
'Is he going to be with Aurora?' I asked. 'He didn't look as if he'd be much use.'
Mother shifted uncomfortably. 'Actually,' she said, 'Aurora has asked me if I'd stay with her.'
'You!' We all gasped in surprise. How many second wives would want their husband's first wife at the birth of their child?
'Well,' Mother said, sounding defensive, 'I've had some experience with all this, and I think Aurora wants someone there she knows will be calm and won't panic.'
'I suppose that makes sense,' I said thoughtfully. 'She hasn't got her mother, and her stepmother would be absolutely no help.'
Aurora's father, Zephyr Ambrose, the leader of the High Council of Witches, had married a cold-hearted social climber who treated Aurora with contempt.
It had come to light in the previous spring that Titania Ambrose, as she now styled herself, had been born Susie Greenwood, and was, in fact, Benedict's mother. She'd abandoned Benedict when he was a new baby, leaving him with her own mother, who had brought him up. Titania wanted nothing to do with either of them, and kept very quiet about life before she'd met Zephyr, so it was no wonder a decent person like Aurora didn't want her at the birth. Not that Titania would have agreed, anyway. She had little time for Zephyr's daughter.
'I think I'll go for a walk before I turn in,' Sirius announced.
Mother looked anguished. 'Again? Oh, really, darling, you'll wear the pavements out. Can't you sit down by the fire and relax for once? You're so edgy all the time.'
Sirius smiled. 'I'm not edgy, Mother. I just like to get some fresh air and exercise. It helps me think.'
'Yes, but think about what?'
'Leave the lad alone,' Castor growled. 'He can make his own mind up what he wants to do of an evening.'
She looked distressed. 'I'm worried. I can't help it.'
Sirius put his hand on her shoulder. 'You've no need to worry,' he reassured her. 'I'm fine. I just want a bit of space, that's all.'
Mother sighed. 'Very well.'
'Actually,' I said, 'I feel like a walk, too.'
Sirius nodded. 'Fine.'
Mother looked relieved. 'Oh, that's lovely. Yes, that's much better. Have a nice walk together and put the world to rights.'
'Meanwhile, I'll head up to bed,' Castor said. 'Long day ahead tomorrow.'
'Yes, it will be,' Mother agreed. 'I do hope Star can manage. I offered to help, you know, but she won't hear of it. I think I'll watch a film before I turn in. You two enjoy yourselves and I'll look after Spirit. She'll be fine with me, won't you, dear?'
Spirit leapt up into her lap and made herself comfortable.
Reassured, I turned to Sirius. 'Ready?'
We grabbed our coats and headed outside, shutting the door firmly behind us.
Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'The shrine?'
'Yes,' I said. 'The castle?'
He nodded, gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and left me. I'd known we wouldn't be walking together, but it was good Mother thought we were. It would make her feel better. I knew perfectly well that Sirius liked to walk the castle grounds, especially the garden. He took strength from the earth and enjoyed being around flowers and trees and shrubs. He often strolled the grounds at night, and I imagined he was remembering all the times he'd brought Carissa there, and they'd sat together on a bench and discussed their future. The future they'd been so cruelly denied.
And talking of futures cruelly denied ... It was Christmas Eve, and three hundred and fifty years since Blaise St Clair had leapt the castle wall and dived into the River Hrafn. The shrine was where I always headed at this time. I didn't want to share it with tourists, or even my brother. This was my time alone, to remember Blaise and to wonder, yet again, what had happened to him.
I could have cut through the castle grounds and walked down the steps to the riverside, but I didn't want to tag along with Sirius or risk disturbing him. Instead, I went the long way around, through the town and down Grace Street before entering Riverside Walk. A long lane, edged on both sides initially with houses, it widened out partway down, with a cliff to the right and the river on the left. It stretched from Blaise Bridge at one end of the town to Bevil Bridge at the other, taking in the famous viaduct along the way. In the summer, it was a busy place to be, full of holidaymakers, day trippers, and residents. The river Hrafn — pronounced Rar-ven, an old Norse word for Raven — would be a jolly sight, with people rowing up and down, boats bobbing on the water, and trains heading over the viaduct above it. Riverside cafés were always busy, and little shops had customers streaming out of the doors, while ice cream vendors made small fortunes, and you couldn't walk far without almost bumping into someone who'd stopped abruptly to take photographs of the castle up on the cliff top. Now, though, the riverside was empty. The boats had been stored away in sheds for the winter, and the cafés and shops were closed. The water was dark and empty.
I stared at it for a moment, wondering how icy cold its depths were. I imagined the shock Blaise must have felt upon entering the freezing water. Could his body have stood it? Had he been so overwhelmed with the plunging temperature he'd been unable to swim, let alone focus on magic, and therefore been powerless to save himself? Standing by the water, my face aching in the winter air, it suddenly seemed all too likely to me he really had drowned.
I glanced up at the cliff behind me. Somewhere up there was the castle, and halfway down the cliff side was Witch's Leap shrine. I headed up the narrow, winding path, edging my way towards the spot that commemorated Blaise's desperate bid for freedom all those years ago. People had left so many tokens of their sorrow and their love for my ancestor.
I looked down at the little bunch of snowdrops in my hand, not even sure when I'd got them. I didn't remember consciously conjuring them up, but evidently I'd wished for them at some point. I laid them beneath the plaque that told Blaise's story, then reached out a hand and stroked the gold lettering.
'What happened to you, Blaise?' I murmured. 'Where did you go?' I turned to look down on the inky depths of the river and shivered. Would there ever come a time when he didn't hold me in his spell? When I'd stop feeling this need to visit the shrine, to wonder repeatedly whether he'd escaped? Would this gnawing ache ever cease? Would the grief ever leave?
Because that's what it was, I realised. Grief. I was grieving for a man who'd died centuries ago. I once read grief was love with no place to go, but how could I possibly say I loved Blaise St Clair? It made no sense, even to me. Yet I knew, as I stood there, that this man from the seventeenth century held my heart like no man alive ever could.
It was a bitter thing to accept. I knew it meant I would be alone forever, because how could I possibly settle for anything less? And how would it be fair to any other man to be second best to a ghost? As much as I protested that I was fine with remaining single, I wasn't so sure it was true. Most of the time my family and my work at the museum was enough, but occasionally ...
At times like tonight, when I remembered the obvious love
between Sky and Jethro, Star and Benedict, and Father and Aurora, it made me realise how much I was missing out on, and I felt a pang of loss, accepting I would never know how it felt. Can you miss something you've never had? It felt that way. I longed for a relationship like theirs. Yet, I'd pushed away any man who'd ever shown an interest in me. Look at Hector. I could have given him a chance. I could have gone on another date with him, got to know him a bit better. Maybe he wasn't as dull as I thought. Maybe I'd been unfair.
I sighed inwardly, knowing I would never have felt right with someone like Hector. Sky was right. He wasn't my type, because the only man I'd ever felt any connection with had been dead three hundred and fifty years. And yes, I knew that made me weird. I didn't need it pointing out. Sometimes I feared for my sanity. How could I possibly bond with a phantom from the past?
Blaise St Clair had fascinated and absorbed me since I was a child. The dark depths of his eyes seemed to pull me in whenever I looked at his portrait. It was as if he was trying to speak to me, to tell me something. I felt like I knew him, had always known him. I'd believed for so long that he'd not hit the river when he jumped, but Sky had assured me she'd seen him fall into it. And how was that even possible?
Sky had fallen from the same spot on the castle wall when she was a little girl. Thankfully, her nightdress had caught on the apex of the roof of the St Clair shrine, halfway down the cliff side. Hanging there, she'd seen a man fall past her into the river, and as crazy as it seemed, nothing could convince her he was anyone but Blaise. I had no idea how it had happened, but it seemed my sister had somehow witnessed his leap and, given that fact, it had become clear Blaise had landed in the water. If I'd been wrong about that, how could I think we had some psychic connection? We had no such thing, so why was I so fascinated by the man? I knew, deep down, that I should forget about him and find someone in the real world to love, just as I knew it would never happen.
I turned away from the shrine, tears blurring my vision. The longing for someone to love overwhelmed me. I had to face the fact it was all I wanted. All I'd ever wanted. But not just any man. It had to be the one. Someone special. It couldn't be anyone else.
For one brief, glorious moment, I allowed myself to believe it was possible. I closed my eyes, seeing in my mind's eye the perfect man for me stepping out of the shadows, making his way towards me — towards the woman he'd always been destined to share his life with. I tried to focus on his face, but a pure white light around him dazzled me. The most perfect and complete love enveloped me. It pulsed into life and took my breath away. My whole body was tingling as I felt his presence beside me. He was the man I'd been waiting for all my life, the special one, the one I'd saved myself for because, somehow, deep down, I'd always known one day he would come to me.
'Celeste, what the hell are you doing?'
Sirius shouted at me, and the white light vanished, leaving me in darkness as I blinked back into reality. He was running along the riverside path, his voice laden with panic, as Belasko swooped and soared around him, calling out in obvious alarm.
I followed my brother's gaze and shook with dread. A golden glow shone over the river, highlighting the most dreadful scene. There was someone in the water. While I'd been standing there, lost in my silly fantasy, some poor soul was drowning! How had I not noticed that?
****
I scrambled down the path, running to join Sirius at the water's edge. He was already pulling off his coat.
'You can't!' I gasped. 'It's freezing in there.'
His teeth were already chattering with cold. 'He needs help. I can't stand here and watch. He's our responsibility.'
I was so scared it didn't occur to me to ask why "he" was our responsibility. Nor did I wonder, as Sirius — waist high in water — yelled at me to fetch Mother but didn't ask me to ring an ambulance. It was all a blur, and my hands shook and my mind whirled as I watched him take a deep breath and dive under the water. It took every ounce of willpower I possessed to focus on getting back to Castle Lodge.
Mother was still sitting on the sofa, stroking Spirit while she watched some festive film.
'Celeste! What on earth—?'
It was a relief to see Castor was still up.
'Someone's in the river,' I gasped. 'Sirius said to fetch you. He's drowning.'
'Sirius is drowning?'
'No, no, there's someone in the river and Sirius has gone in to rescue him.'
'But it will be freezing in there.' I heard the panic in her voice and felt almost paralysed with dread. If Mother was frightened, things were serious.
True to form, she quickly pulled herself together. 'Where is this?'
'Just in front of the shrine,' I managed.
'Towels and blankets, Castor,' Mother said. 'I'll meet you there.'
She vanished, and Castor and I looked at each other.
'In front of the shrine, you say?' he asked.
I nodded.
'What would someone be doing in the river at this time of night?'
'Maybe they were out drinking and fell in?' I suggested. 'Or maybe—' It didn't bear thinking about, but what if someone had deliberately thrown themselves in there? Perhaps it hadn't been an accident at all?
Castor produced an armful of towels and blankets. 'Best get off,' he said, and disappeared.
I bit my lip, dreading returning in case I discovered Sirius couldn't save the poor soul. Then it occurred to me Sirius himself might be in danger, too, so I returned to the river, to find Mother in such a state of anguish that Castor was already busy draping a blanket over her shoulders and trying his best to soothe her.
'Mebbe you'd best get the others,' he said, his voice grave with worry.
I glanced at the water, but the yellow glow had disappeared, and I could barely see a thing. Belasko was circling the water, revealing Sirius's whereabouts to us. He kept calling out, agitated by what was unfolding below him.
Castor tutted at me, and I took the hint. We needed reinforcements.
Star and Benedict were in bed, which could have been awkward. Luckily, they were just talking, although Benedict looked most annoyed when I appeared in the bedroom, and spluttered about how rude I was, and what was I thinking, and didn't I know that doors were there for a reason?
Star, however, knew immediately that something was very wrong. She leapt out of bed and dragged on her dressing gown. 'What is it?'
'Sirius,' I gasped. 'Jumped in the river, trying to save someone from drowning.'
'Oh, my God,' Benedict said, throwing back the duvet and reaching for a t-shirt. 'Are they okay?'
'Still in the water.'
'I'll be right there,' he said, and bless him, he didn't protest one bit when Star told him she would zap them both straight to the river, although he was wearing only a pair of boxers with the t-shirt. I knew she'd make sure they wrapped up warm as soon as they got there. Meantime, I had to fetch Sky and Jethro who, luckily, were still up, and happily engrossed in a board game, of all things. I had no time to wonder why.
Sky jumped up and cried, 'What's happened?' so I knew my face had given away how scared I really was.
I briefly explained and Jethro said, 'We'll meet you there.' He knew the drill and clung onto Sky's arm. They'd gone before I'd even finished explaining. I looked down at Belle, who gave me a very knowing look.
'They'll be back soon,' I promised her.
She clearly didn't think that was the case, but she didn't argue, merely settling herself on the sofa. I blew her a kiss and headed straight back to the riverbank where Star and Sky were now clinging to each other. I realised Jethro and Benedict had gone into the water to help, and I thought it was turning into a scene from a horror movie where, one by one, each of the heroes disappeared.
'Oh, thank goodness.' My mother slumped with relief against Castor, who put his arm around her and closed his eyes briefly. Evidently, he'd been terrified, too. I watched, my heart thumping with fear, as Benedict threw himself on the bank, dragging Sirius with him.
My brother seemed unable to move, and we hurried forward to pull them both out. Benedict was shaking with cold, and I realised that, although he'd only been in the river a short time, the freezing temperatures had almost overcome him. Sirius obviously couldn't do as much as he'd expected. I'd foolishly and naïvely expected he would reach the person in the river and zap them both on to the bank, but the shock had rendered him incapable of focusing, which only went to prove my sisters were probably correct about Blaise. He could never have survived the fall into that icy water.
There was no time to dwell on that, though. Star and Castor frantically rubbed Sirius and Benedict with towels, and wrapped them in blankets, while Mother and Sky called encouragement to Jethro, who was making his way through the water with agonising slowness. He was struggling to support the person who'd initially been in the river. There was no sign of life from him or her, and I realised Jethro was dragging a dead weight. He looked exhausted. Sky was openly crying, and had to be forcibly held back by Mother, as she strained to jump in the river to help.
'But if I can get to him, I can zap them both out of there,' she sobbed.
'Don't you think Sirius would have done that if it were possible?' I pleaded. 'It's too cold in there, Sky. You'd lose all ability to focus, and you'd just be another problem for Jethro to deal with. Look, he's nearly here now. He'll be okay.'
Truthfully, Jethro didn't look okay. He looked on the point of giving up, and Benedict was about to jump back in to help him, despite Castor's furious assertions that he'd do no such thing, when somehow Jethro dragged the body — and it really looked like a dead body by that point — onto the bank with him. We all rushed to pull them clear of the water, and Mother and Castor handed Sky and me towels and blankets, while Star zapped Benedict and Sirius back to Castle Lodge, where the fire was blazing.
