by Durango, M.
Christian shifted, suddenly seeming restless again. He fidgeted but Matt didn’t have a chance to ask him what was wrong.
Christian turned to face him. “I. Look, I just wanted to apologize for that night. It was, God, I think it’s got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I’m really sorry. I get that you’re straight and that you’re not interested in me, and I understand if you don’t want to speak to me ever again. But I like you. As a friend, I mean. I — I heard that you stopped coming in for coffee in the morning, but I’m almost never there that early, and I won’t bother you again. I’m sorry.”
Matt was a little stunned, a little taken aback. He hadn’t been expecting an apology. He was perfectly content not talking about it until he figured out how he really felt. He wasn’t sure why Christian was bringing it up now.
Matt took a deep breath. “I really don’t know what to say. I mean, shit. I’m obviously not mad at you. I was, at first, but…” Matt didn’t want to explain that he was more confused than angry. “I was kind of hoping we could just, I don’t know, forget about it.”
Christian was frowning and worrying his bottom lip again in what was clearly a nervous habit. He looked at Matt cautiously. “Does that mean you didn’t invite me over to poison me with that weird cranberry sauce?”
Matt laughed, glad for the change of subject. “It’s way better than that can-shaped stuff!”
“I happen to like that can-shaped stuff!”
“Well, you’re welcome to eat as much of it as you like.”
Christian looked inordinately pleased with himself. “I think I will.”
Matt laughed again and turned his attention back to the game.
Christian curled up in the corner of the couch, looking content as he hugged a pillow.
As football games went, it was pretty dull; low scoring and slow moving as a result. It didn’t help that Matt didn’t care about either team.
During the break between the third and fourth quarters, Christian stretched and nudged Matt with his foot.
“There was something about pie?”
Chapter Seven
If he had any dreams Thursday night, Matt didn’t remember them. Mid-afternoon restlessness motivated him to get out of the apartment Friday. He ran a few errands and stopped by the local bookstore to pick up a new thriller to read, but he was at loose ends for the rest of the day.
He knew Christian was working. He’d enjoyed their impromptu Thanksgiving celebration the day before; he liked Christian’s sense of humor and his enthusiasm. He still thought his physical reaction to Christian was a fluke, but the more he forced himself to face the fact that there had been a definite reaction, the more he wondered how much of a fluke it was.
Matt entered The Coffee Hut and was disappointed to see Christian nowhere in sight. He placed his order with one of Christian’s very perky coworkers, who promptly disappeared into the back as Matt waited for the other barista to make his drink.
Christian came out of the back a moment later and smiled at Matt. “Hey. How’s your day off?”
Matt was surprised at how pleased he was to see Christian. “Not bad; how’s your day working?”
“Not that bad actually. It’s been pretty slow this afternoon.” Of course, just as Christian said that, a large group of people entered, talking and laughing loudly.
Matt picked up his drink. “Really? Have fun, then.”
“Thanks.” Christian rolled his eyes and hurried to start taking orders.
Matt found a table near the window and settled in to start his new book, glad he had arrived before the afternoon rush.
Eventually, the crowd started to thin and the baristas began cleaning tables and putting the condiment bar back in order. Matt looked up as Christian wiped the tables nearby.
“What are you reading?” Christian asked and Matt held up his book. “Oh, I read that a few months ago. It’s a great book.”
“Yeah, I really like the way she’s weaving all of the characters together.”
They chatted for a couple of minutes about the book and what else they had read by the author. Matt asked Christian what time his shift ended.
Christian looked at the wall clock. “In about forty-five minutes.”
Matt made a decision. “I could give you a ride.”
Christian tilted his head as he considered Matt’s offer. “You wouldn’t mind waiting?”
Matt shook his head. “I wouldn’t have offered if I minded. Besides, it’s not like I have big plans today.”
“No hot Friday night date with the Cosmo girl?”
“Oh, very funny. Don’t you have work to do?”
***
Matt was absorbed in his book when Christian dropped into the chair across from him; he noticed the lack of Christian’s apron and realized he’d lost track of time.
He glanced at his watch. “Are you done already?”
“Yep.” Christian stood and waved to his coworkers as they left. “Are you in your usual spot?”
“Am I that predictable?” Matt asked as he led the way across the lot.
“What? Oh.” Christian looked embarrassed as he shrugged. “You were in the same spot the two other times you drove me home. I know a lot of people park in the same spots. At least you never have to think about where your truck is parked.”
“That’s true.” Matt unlocked the tailgate for Christian’s bike.
Once they were both settled, Matt started on the short drive toward Christian’s apartment. “You want to grab something to eat?” They both had to eat, right?
“Um.”
Matt waited as Christian seemed to think. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should have just forgotten the whole thing.
“If we can keep it cheap, yeah,” Christian finally answered.
Matt looked over at him. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I don’t really have any food at home, anyway.” Christian looked mildly embarrassed again.
“Okay.” Maybe it was a good idea. “How about Mexican?”
“I love Mexican,” Christian told him. “I eat refried beans a lot, because they’re cheap, and then I just end up craving real Mexican.”
Matt nodded. “Mexican it is, then.”
***
“This is one of my favorite restaurants. I love the cheesy decor and the little sombrero hats on the tables,” Christian commented once the hostess had left.
“I come here every couple of weeks. I’m not a big fan of cooking.” Matt could make a few passable meals, but it had never been his strong suit. He kept meaning to learn but never seemed to get around to it. Restaurants were just so much more convenient than planning meals and he always seemed to be missing some critical ingredient.
“I actually like it, but I can’t really afford to do anything fancy and it’s kind of a drag to cook for one person. Sort of depressing, you know? I mean, if you put all this time and thought into making something, there should at least be someone to share it with.” Christian shrugged, blushing slightly.
Matt didn’t want him to feel embarrassed. “I can see that. I just don’t really have the patience. There’s usually something else I’d rather be doing.”
“Oooh, you want to split an order of nachos as an appetizer?”
Matt blinked at the complete change of subject, then laughed. “Sure. Jalapeños?”
“Definitely. Chicken or beef?”
“Either.”
Once their orders were placed, they settled back with their drinks. They had spent enough time together that Matt didn’t feel pressured by the need to make small talk, but Christian jumped in before Matt could think of anything to say.
Christian rested his arms on the table and leaned forward. “So, I know you like football, read some of the same books that I do, and spent time in the Army.”
Matt took a sip of beer. “There’s not much else to tell. Work takes up a lot of my time, and when I’m not working I just hang around my place, go to the gym, play ball with Sam. Let
myself get dragged to parties. Fight off Sam’s attempts to set me up.”
“Which you obviously don’t like.”
Matt shrugged. “I was in a long-term relationship that ended about a year ago. Sam thinks I’m missing out on something by not dating a new woman every month.”
“I only had one long-term relationship. It lasted a couple of years before we split up. We were really young.” Christian grimaced. “Not that twenty-two is old.”
Matt took a helping of nachos that the server left on the table. “When I was twenty-two, I was just back from being deployed and trying to decide if I should reenlist. Katie, my ex, argued about that a lot.”
Christian made a pleased sound as he took a mouthful of nacho and toppings. “Did she want you to get out?”
“She did. She didn’t really give a shit about the war until I was in it and then she was totally against it. It pissed me off, you know?” Matt always found it difficult to explain his conflict with Katie; most people thought she was just worried for him, but Matt didn’t see it that way.
“Because she wasn’t supporting what you did?” Christian asked.
Matt toyed with his beer bottle. “Partly, but it was more that her reasons were completely selfish and not because she thought it was the right thing to do. It was a knee-jerk reaction.”
“Well, sure,” Christian agreed, “But you know there’s a huge psychological aspect to people’s beliefs that have nothing to do with reason or logic, right? As much as we may be able to rationalize our opinions, there’s still an emotional component.”
The server brought their food while they were talking, causing a brief lull while they dug into their dinner. The food was excellent and the selection of hot sauces to choose from just added to the flavor.
“I know what you mean.” Matt said, picking up the conversation from where they had left off. “There was more to it than that, obviously, but it felt like she didn’t respect what I was doing. She was waiting for me to get done and decide to settle down. She wanted to get married, buy a house, have kids. I felt like she thought I was playing soldier, not doing something important.”
“Would you have stayed together if she had felt differently about the war? If she had an opinion beyond how it affected her?” Christian’s eyes widened. “Oh, wow, did that sound as obnoxious to you as it did to me?”
“It’s okay.” Matt laughed and returned to their original conversation. “I don’t think I’d have felt differently. I don’t mean to sound like an ass, but we were just looking for different things, you know? She hated the giant TV and stereo system.” Matt added, remembering the fights they had about his spending habits.
Christian nodded. “Maybe we should talk about something besides our exes.”
“You might be right about that.” Matt smiled to try to take the sting out of his words. “I actually don’t like talking about it that much.”
“God, I’m sorry. I’m just a dork.” Christian made an embarrassed grimace.
“It’s no big deal.” Matt switched to a neutral topic. “Tell me about your classes.”
“Okay.” Christian ate a few more bites before continuing. “I’m a dual major in History and Journalism, but I think I told you that. I’m kind of fascinated by how people can be compelled to follow political movements that have no value to them personally.”
Matt thought he knew what Christian meant, although it wasn’t something he thought about much himself. “You mean like poor people voting for corporate tax cuts?”
“Exactly! It seems completely counterintuitive, but it’s based on emotional and psychological needs. People look to something outside of themselves to provide a sense of stability and immutability that they can hold on to when things are uncertain. It benefits them psychologically, but not economically or socially.” Christian stopped and chewed his bottom lip. “Tell me if I’m boring you. It’s easy to forget sometimes that other people don’t share my level of obsession. Trent, my roommate, has to listen to a lot of this.”
Matt smiled, enjoying Christian’s enthusiasm and the easy conversation. “It’s not boring. Do you know what you’re going to do when you’re done?”
“My plan is to go into journalism — not that fluffy news casting crap, but real investigative journalism. I probably need my Master’s degree in order to really get into it and get as far as I want.” Christian paused again. “Do you think I’m a freak? Most of the people I’m in school with do. And I keep talking about myself so that must kind of be boring for you.”
Matt found himself laughing again, amused by the look on Christian’s face, like he must think Matt thought he was a total weirdo. “No, I don’t think you’re a freak. I think it’s kind of cool that you know what you want to do.”
“Yeah, but you already have a job,” Christian pointed out.
“True, but I joined the Army when I was eighteen because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. They, well, and my test scores, decided that I would be best working with computers and telecommunications, so I just sort of fell into it.”
“So, it’s not what you want to do?” Christian frowned.
“I don’t dislike it and I’m good at it,” Matt explained. “I don’t always like the hours, but other than that, it’s not bad.”
They both declined the server’s offer of dessert and settled the check quickly, heading back into the cool fall weather.
Sometime during dinner, Matt’s mind wandered to the dreams he had been having about Christian and his body started to remind him, rather insistently, that his recent bout of celibacy was getting to be a nuisance. He wasn’t ready for the evening to end, so he said the first convenient thing that came into his head.
“So, I have this leftover pie.”
Christian grinned at him from the passenger seat. “Do you? You going to go back to your condo and have some dessert?”
Jesus, was he that obvious or was he reading into Christian’s response? “I was thinking about it, but it’s kind of a lot for just me. You wouldn’t be interested in any, would you?” And was he actually flirting back?
“I do like me some pumpkin pie. You sure there’s enough for both of us?”
“Well, except for the piece I had for lunch, there’s still about half left, so I think there’s enough to share.”
“Cool. I accept.”
Matt was at once relieved and anxious. He knew he wasn’t going to stop things if they went the way he hoped they would. He forced himself to focus on the road and not think about the growing heat in his groin, or the warring voices in his head. Just because Matt was horny was no reason to assume Christian was going to do anything more than eat a slice of pie and leave.
Preoccupied as he was, Matt managed to get them to his condo in one piece. They brought Christian’s bike up and parked it in the same place it had been yesterday.
“Can I help?” Christian asked as he followed Matt into the kitchen.
“Grab some plates out of the cabinet.” Matt motioned to the cabinet next to the sink as he took the pie and whipped cream out of the fridge. “Beer?”
“Sure.”
When Matt turned back suddenly to grab a napkin, he almost collided with Christian. He was acutely aware of how very close they were standing.
“Sorry,” Matt said, stepping around Christian to pick up the napkins he’d forgotten. He handed one to Christian as they settled on opposite ends of the couch.
Matt picked the remote up out of habit. “I don’t mean to be a shitty host. Let me know if there’s anything you want to watch.”
Christian shrugged. “I’ll watch whatever’s on. I don’t have TV, so I don’t get to watch much.”
“I, ah, I was planning on watching Top Chef. Do you mind?”
“Oh, is it the new season already?”
Matt smiled, vaguely relieved that Christian didn’t laugh at him for watching reality TV. “It is. Have you watched it?”
“Only last season. My roommate was kind of obsessed with it an
d downloaded it. It was a fun way to procrastinate.”
“Cool.” Matt switched to the DVR and started the first episode.
They watched mostly in silence, commenting occasionally on the new cast and the judges. Matt had gotten them each another beer and Christian had eventually migrated from his corner of the couch to sit closer to Matt.
Matt noticed Christian starting to fidget. “Hey. You okay? You look kind of stressed.”
“What?” Christian jumped. “I do? Oh. I.” Matt watched as Christian emptied his beer and stood. “I should go. I need to go. I have to study and stuff.”
Matt was only half listening. When Christian stood, Matt was suddenly eye-level with Christian’s very obvious erection. At least he had his answer about whether or not Christian was still interested.
Matt looked up. He didn’t really want Christian to leave. “Do you want to know why I stopped coming in for coffee?” Matt asked.
Christian shook his head. He looked nervous, which Matt found ironic. Matt was the straight one, wasn’t he?
“Why?” Christian finally asked.
Was he really going to do this? “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about what happened when I drove you home from that party. I.” Matt took a breath; in for a penny, as they say. “That’s why I invited you over.”
Christian’s expression was more relief than surprise. “Really? Would you think it was terrible of me if I told you that’s why I said yes?”
“No.” Matt watched Christian’s gaze follow his hand as he adjusted himself. He rubbed his hand over his erection, the anticipation becoming almost too much.
Christian bit his lip and pulled his gaze up to meet Matt’s, blue eyes intrigued. “No?”
It took Matt a minute to remember what they had been talking about. “No.” At least this time, he had a reason for his inability to carry on a conversation. “I keep wondering what would have happened if your roommate hadn’t come home.” Matt lowered his eyes; he could see the outline of Christian’s erection pushing against the zipper and his own cock throbbed in response.
